The Luigi Interview

Luigi is invited on a talk show called Westwood

Bob: Hello, I'm Bob Westwood here today is our favourite player 2 video game character, Luigi!

Luigi: Thanks Bob.

Bob: So Luigi what's it like being, player two.

Luigi: Meh….could be worse.

Bob: Everybody assumes you're jealous of your brother Mario, seeing as he is world famous and you're always in the shadows. Is this true?

Luigi: (Sighs and shakes his head in disbelief) Oh lord……me being jealous of Mario, that is one of the most overused ideas in fanfiction, and fan cartoon online history! I'm not…..O.K?

Bob: But your brother has been in over a gazillion games, the only two games you've had is Mario is Missing and Luigi's mansion. And Mario is missing is a dreadful boring educational game.

Luigi: Has it never occurred to you that I may not care for being a hero and that it really isn't for me? Look at how much I cower in the game Luigi's mansion! If the game was called Mario's mansion and had just been another Mario game to add to the pile. Mario would have took the ghosts head on without a worry in the world, even in that game Mario looks less terrified then I am, when we see him trapped in the picture! He hardly shakes in fear!

Let's say I really go crazy and murder Mario, in all that online crap there is of me and I somehow get away with it. I really don't think I could handle all that responsibility. Plus Princess Peach is so weak and irresponsible, at first I had a crush on her, but then I let Mario have her, due to the repeated kidnappings and clumsiness she has.

The truth is. I cared for being a hero once, but now I don't due to how much fear I've been through with what I've had. So sorry folks, Super Luigi Bros ain't gonna happen! I have a new dream……

Bob: Which is?

Luigi :Well I do love to write poetry and stories, which I have been trying to make into a book. And I love to paint, I'm not sure you've heard of my artwork which I have been doing for art expeditions? Plus I love gardening, and been making the front of my home into the best.

Bob: Wow…Luigi that…sounds kinda gay.

Luigi: Hey, shut up! It is not!

Bob: I always knew you were a queer…..but what you just said….jeez!

Luigi: There's nothing wrong with…..why you……I may not be a famous hero….but I have enough balls to kick your ass!

Bob: Oh look everybody….Angelina Ballerina the dancing mouse is pissed off!

Luigi: Right! (At this Luigi gives Bob 5 punches to the face and then kicks him full in the groin sending him to the ground)

Bob: Ahhhh! (Vomits from the pain)

Luigi (Walking away): Asshole!

Bob: Ahhh……ow…ouch…'ve got to hand it to him…he has at least some of his brother in him. Go to commercial!

Mario (Walking in out of nowhere): Does this mean we're not gonna be filming that wrestling match to the death scene between me and Luigi?