Summary: And she thought he was just trying to flatter her so she wouldn't torch his other optic out.

A/N: I'm alive! I've been without internet since I moved out last February so I just had to put something up as celebration of my 768 kbps; as well as having seen Revenge of the Fallen last night. I'm probably going to use my brother horribly in seeing it again on my next day off; it's cool enough to warrent me spending more money for another ticket.

This isn't supposed to be any kind of plot whatsoever, just some random occurrence and mainly done because I can't focus on my real projects because I can't get over Soundwave with his tentacle rape on the satellite.

…Was is just me or did he actually roll his head back a little when he was doing that?

On with the story then (crawls into a corner and laughs herself into a coma).

Warrior Goddess


"You really don't get it do you?" Wheelie said; completely dumb struck with what Mikaela had asked him only moments before.

"Well I wouldn't have asked if I did now would I?" the human shot back.

"Do I have to spell it out for you?" he said, getting up on the counter he had been sitting on if only to be eye level with her as she sat at the desk, waiting for her supposed bondmate to initiate their 'web-chat dates'. He had tried to tell her how stupid they were but then she already knew his feelings on Sam so anything he said even remotely concerning the boy were ignored. Not that he really cared; usually it worked like that back with the Decepticons. Say something nobody liked and they either ignored it completely or shot your aft. "I thought you were smarter than that. Guess you only got the looks after all." He crossed his arms over his chest as he pointedly stared at some of her best features; legs, neck, and those naughty little curves on her waist.

She raised one of her eyebrows (it was still kind of freaky to realize they were bits of hair rather than metal) before the frown melded into a truly devious smirk. "Maybe I should torch out the other eye."

"Hey, hey, hey! You didn't even fix my other one!" he complained, pointing to the burned out optic socket. "You promised you wouldn't Warrior Goddess!"

The smirk, as quickly as it had appeared, vanished. "There you go again. Warrior Goddess? I already let you live and the others haven't used you as target practice; though that Sideswipe really wanted to slice you thirteen different ways."

"Pit-slaggin' psycho. Almost as bad as his twin; now there's an asshole and Primus help the loser that scratched his finish." Wheelie spat. "And like I said before; you don't know anything."

"Then enlighten me you RC reject." Mikaela said, glancing at the monitor's time. He could have told her it wasn't time yet; it took him an extra thirty minutes or so on Wednesdays to contact her. But then she would never have asked him to tell her the time; it wasn't in her to depend on others too much aside from using them.

He almost revved up his systems just then at the memory of her ordering around her Creator and his friends despite their age; and how they calmly accepted it. "Fine. Fine. Just promise me you won't take it out on my aft afterwards." he said and waited until she finally nodded her head and added an eye roll for good measure. If there was one of the few things he wished he could do but then with his build he couldn't have made it look nearly as insulting.

"You'd make even Megatron have an overheated spark if you weren't a fleshling."

"Excuse me?" she stared at him for another moment, her eyes turner darker by the second with the realization of what he meant. When her hands twitched in her lap he was already scrambling up the wall, his servos digging into the plaster and wood easily. "Pervert!" a screwdriver slammed into the part of the wall where his head had been, the metal part driving in a good inch or so and shivering from the force.

"Damnit girl! That's what I mean! All hot, charged, and angry and curves that don't end. You got no idea what you do to a Con." He babbled excitedly even as he continued his climb up to the relative safety of the rafters in the garage. The four legged slobbering beast she kept as a pet gave him a lazy bark from his corner of the garage before going back to sleep. It was kind of insulting to be ignored like that but he supposed it was a small price to pay to be able to stay alive, and with Mikaela.

"Come down here so I can send you to the scrap yard."

He giggled at her threat. She still needed some practice in that department. "No way. And you promised you wouldn't do anything like that."

"So I lied." She said before looking revolted when Wheelie gave a lecherous grin.

"Oooh what a naughty human. What next, larceny?"

She stood up with the chair rolling away; her legs apart and hands planted on her hips in a 'slag you' manner. It was so hard to keep his internals from revving up at the sight; organic or not. But that never really mattered to him as much as it did to others. Personality was the key and slag if she didn't have it oozing out of her like energon out of a refinement plant. "I was thinking first degree murder. And you aren't a Decepticon anymore; or did I fry your circuits when I took out your eye?"

He waved a hand before having to catch himself from losing his balance, keeping both hands firmly around the wooden support beam. He wouldn't die from such a little thing as falling a mere fifteen feet but there was no reason in getting closer to her just then when she looked mad enough to peel off his wiring. "Programming, programming Warrior Goddess. It's all in the programming. There's always gonna be some differences between a Con and a 'Bot aside from the factions. Despite what the Prime says."

Mikaela's frowned deepened and he caught himself just in time from pointing out she'd get wrinkles faster that way. "I wouldn't be some slag-sucking Con."

Oh he could have overloaded right then at the sound of her swearing like that. It was something about the sound of her swearing in Cybertronian that just touched off all the right sensors. "Somehow I don't see you as being an Autobot sweetie. Now Sam? The kid might as well be the next Prime for all he's done."

He could have shot himself for having brought up the twit with way Mikaela's demeanor changed. Her face softened and a tiny smile stole across her features as she looked down at the monitor; another six minutes to go before the 'I love you' fest began. It was enough to make him want to purge his tank.

"Yeah, Sam's done a lot hasn't he? If he were one of you guys I could definitely see him being an Autobot. I would be one to." Her eyes were glazed, thinking about the stammering, glitch head.

"But it would be boring." Wheelie refused to say he was whining; or pay attention to the fact that being an Autobot was probably the only thing that saved his life. Since arriving on Earth it seemed a lot of the Autobots had become especially dangerous in their endeavors to protect the millions of humans around them. It kind of confused him as they spawned like retro rats though he could understand why they would attach themselves to one or more select humans as he had found himself unable to keep away from this one. But perhaps his intentions weren't as noble which suited him just fine. Just because he was an Autobot didn't mean he had to be all disgustingly heroic.

"No it wouldn't." Mikaela said calmly and Wheelie widened his one functioning optic at her tone. It was the kind of tone Megatron used just before he sliced someone's chassis down the middle in just such a way so their innards sparked and spilled out in a crash. "If I was an Autobot I'd totally kick ass."


"Hey Sam. Good day?"

"So far. Getting ready for exams and it seems like Bee's…"

"You okay Sam?"

"Er…Mikaela?"

"Yes Sam?"

"Is that Wheelie? Covered in duct tape? Hanging from the rafter?"

"Yes."

"You are so the hottest girlfriend in the universe."


A/N: Sam doesn't like Wheelie much and I didn't think there should be too much detail at the end. Hope you enjoyed it. By the way, does anyone know of any good fics with it being Mikaela as the Autobot/sparkling/main character?