I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT :)
A/N – I've never experienced an Eating Disorder before, so I'm sorry if I get anything wrong, although my friend who has had one is helping me write this so I should be fairly right with the story.
Also, sorry if I offend anyone.
Bella's Point Of View
Monday morning. Sigh. Another week of me dragging my
useless self around Forks. If I could have my own way, I know exactly
what I'd do. It'd be much more entertaining than having to make up
lies about whether I was hungry or not. Of course I was hungry, I
welcomed it, hunger is my friend.
Edward kissed my forehead before climbing out my window to go and get his car and wait for me. I dragged myself to the bathroom with a new set of fresh clothes and locked the door. I washed my face and brushed my teeth and ran my hairbrush through my hair taking all the knots out.
I stripped myself of my clothes and stepped onto the scales.
Eighty seven pounds. I punched myself in the stomach, causing a bruise to form almost instantly. I'd only lost two lbs since Saturday night. I'd have to go for a jog later when I got home. I wasn't loosing weight fast enough the way I should be.
Tears streamed down my face, making my eyes turn red and swollen. I splashed water on my face and made my way downstairs. I grabbed my coat and put it on over the two jumpers I was already wearing, I'd been freezing the past month. I slung my book bag over my shoulder and headed to the fridge. I didn't need to eat, and I didn't want to eat. I opened the fridge door for a good five seconds and took out an egg and hid it under the sink, thankfully, Charlie never needs to go in there, so I could hide my food under there till the time Charlie was asleep and Edward would come back into my bedroom, giving me a good quarter of an hour to hide whatever food I'd pretended to eat under my floor boards.
I brought out a pan and put it on the stove and turned it on, then ran to the sink, cracked the egg and watched it go down the drain, which was slightly relieving and threw the egg shells in the bin. I watched the stove for three minutes before pretending to put it on a plate, then scraped my knife and fork along the plate. I stuck the clean plate in the wash and washed it again and stuck it on the drying rack. Charlie would assume I'd eaten breakfast because I'd washed up the pot. Edward, he would too. The only reason I had to do this was because I knew he'd be listening in on me outside, it was for his sake. So he thought I was still eating. It was routine.
I finished up in the kitchen and went outside to Edward's Volvo and opened the door and sat in the car. I tried to close the door but it was too heavy, but managed it before Edward could say anything.
"Good morning, love." Edward greeted me, leaning over to kiss me and twisting his fingers with mine.
I smiled back at him the best I could but I felt weak. Edward slightly frowned but just pulled out of the drive way and speed his car of to school. As soon as we'd reached school, I realised I'd forgotten something. I started flicking the elastic band on my wrist.
"I've forgotten something." I muttered to Edward just as he was getting out of the car.
"Do you want me to go back and get it for you?" Edward asked closing his door again.
"Drive me back, I'll get it myself." I asked, I couldn't have Edward knowing what I wanted, what I needed right now.
Edward sat in his seat but made no move to drive back to my house. "Bella? What's wrong?" Edward asked. "Are you sick? You look a little pale. Do you want to go see Carlisle?" Edward was beginning to fret now, over a pathetic fat useless human.
"No I'm fine. It doesn't matter, forget it." I assured him getting out of the car to head to our first lesson. I crossed my arms across myself trying to keep the warmth in and to help the pain, walking next to Edward who put his arm around me. I'd would of shaken his arm off for being so cold, but it was comforting. So I pressed my body into his side, and made our way to our first class.
The first two classes flew by quickly and Edward kept giving me the same look he'd been giving me the past two weeks. I waved my hand at him numerous times to wave it off and told him I was perfectly fine, he was just being paranoid.
Since I didn't have my third lesson with Edward and I was getting tired I decided to go home and retrieve my essentials I'd forgotten.
As soon as I was out of Edward's eyesight I ran for it as fast as I could stumbling over a few times, and began jogging back to the confines of my house and into my bedroom.
I lifted up the floor board and picked out the two items I'd completely forgotten this morning, and grabbing the third. I took a moment to look at all the food I'd hidden under there and smiled to myself, I should be proud. Noticing the time on the clock I never bothered with I realised that if I didn't leave now I'd end up being late back, and I'd already missed the bell signalling for the start of the fourth hour class. I shoved my stuff into my second jumpers pocket and pulled the floorboards back over the floor, and ran down the stairs concentrating on my feet, only managing to trip once, which was a record for me.
I locked the front door as I left and began a nice fast jog back to school, concentrating on my feet, making sure of every step I took. I ran into the car lot hearing the bell go for lunch. I walked into the cafeteria still breathing heavily after three minutes. I picked up a bottle of water and an empty cup that no one would be able to see into and went to pay for it. I sat down at our normal table, the second one there. Alice was already sitting opposite me with a tight smile across her face.
"Edward's mad." She broke the silence.
"He'll live." I muttered under my breathe, knowing she would hear me, as I poured the water into the opaque cup and slipping out two of my caffeine pills and two of the dieting pills I bought last week into my hand. I hadn't tried them yet, so I didn't know if they worked. I held the cup under the table and put them in as subtle as I could trying to hide it from Alice and put them in, then took a big swig of the pills and the water which where now dissolving inside the water.
Mixing diet tablets and caffeine pills should be fine as far as I was concerned. I don't think it'd do much harm to someone like me.
Alice's eyes tightened at me, and suspicion grew in her facial features. "What's your problem?" I hissed at her, angry for her staring at me. "Weren't you ever told its rude to stare?"
Jessica, Mike and Lauren sat down in their usual places giving me off looks. Alice just laughed and turned to look at Edward walking over to us with his 'props'. "Someone's got some explaining to do... unless..." She trailed of using that smile she uses when she wants one thing. Shopping.
"Fine." I muttered, just as Edward caught my eyes and started walking over to sit down.
He put his tray down making the food slightly jump on the plate. Both Alice and I stifled a laugh and turned away from him, for fear our faces would give us away. But Edward wasn't that stupid and knew we where laughing.
"Ha Ha." He muttered sarcastically, then turned to face me. "Where did you disappear to for the last two lessons." He questioned me.
I opened my mouth to speak but Alice interrupted. "She was with me, woman's problems." I caught her sticking her tongue out of her mouth at Edward.
Edward narrowed his eyes at his pixie like sister, then looked back at me, leaning down to whisper into my ear. "I'm not stupid Bella, I'd be able to smell it." He accused.
I blushed crimson and shivered from the cold. "Don't be so rude." I scowled at him, standing up to leave. Edward grabbed my wrist but I shook it off. "Leave me alone." I muttered, then drank the rest of my water and took my tray over to the trash can to dispose of it. I stormed off to the girls lavatories and locked myself in the end cubicle and curled up into a ball.
What on earth was his problem? Can't he just leave me be, I skipped two lessons, he can't act like he's never done it before. The cheek of it. Tears streamed down my face violently.
A tap came from the cubicle door. "Bella, its me." Alice chirped from the other side.
I stood up and unlocked the door for her to come in. Alice stepped in and closed the door behind her. I sat back down on the floor with my head leaning on my knees, and hugging my legs against me. Alice sat down next to me and put her arm around me in a friendly manner.
"Bella? What's wrong?" Alice asked.
"Nothing." I mumbled into my knees. "Doesn't matter."
"Bella your eyes look awful." She commented. "I'll do some make up for you." She instantly sounded really happy at the idea. "Are you going to tell me what you put in that water."
"Paracetamol." I lied. "Had a headache."
"Close your eyes so I can get to work." Alice ordered. "I know your lying, and I knew you weren't going to tell me, but why wouldn't you tell me?"
"If you know what I'm going to reply with why do you bother?" I argued, opening my eyes.
Alice shrugged. "I wondered if you'd change your mind." Then she grinned. "Lets talk shopping, you owe me, if I didn't come in here after you, Edward would of come in here himself, despite it being the girls toilets."
"He didn't say anything did he?"
Alice shook her head. I smiled at her, in relief. I loved Alice at moments like these, but a large part of me hated her for some reason, I couldn't put my finger on it.
"We'll have to get you a nice new dress!" She squealed. "Blue? Since it Edwards favourite colour on you.. maybe not you'd look great in a nice little black dress, or maybe red!" She rattled on for the rest of lunch.
When the bell went marking the start of our lessons both Alice and I got up and exited the cubicle. I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror. I had to admit, Alice worked wonders with a little bit of foundation. Alice gave me a quick hug and a reassuring smile on the way out of the toilets, before skipping off down the corridor to her next class.
I walked into my biology class and sat myself down in my seat, fortunately Edward wasn't here yet so I had time to make up an excuse for my foul behaviour knowing Edward, he would want answers.
I got out my writing pad and began doodling in the back pages. The class filled up with other students, and then Mr Banner came in to start the lesson, wheeling in an old video cassette and television.
"Afternoon class, we're going to watch a video for the first half an hour of the lesson, and then I've got some sheets for you to fill in." I groaned and put my face into my arms on the desk, great today was going to take forever. "Ah.. Mr Cullen, so nice of you to join us today." Mr Banner remarked sarcastically.
I peeped out of my folded arms to see Edward walking over to our desk, with a sorry look in his eyes.
"Sorry sir." He spoke clearly, then sat down next to me, moving his chair closer.
The room suddenly got colder and I shivered hugging myself closer together. Edward slipped of his jacket and placed it over my shoulders smiling at me.
"Thank you." I whispered pushing my arms into his sleeve pockets and folding my arms back up to rest on the desk where I put my head down on the desk.
The light switch was turned off and Mr Banner hushed the class into silence. I could feel Edward place his arm across my shoulder and start rubbing the side of my arm to make it warmer. "I'm sorry for being unpleasant to you earlier." Edward whispered into my ear. "It was offensive, I know." He kissed my under my ear lobe. "Will you forgive me?"
"Of course." I mumbled into my arm, closing my eyes. I could hear Edward chuckle softly but otherwise ignored it. My head thumped harder and I groaned. This could be one of the worst headaches I've ever had.
"What's wrong love?" Edward whispered in my ear.
"Headache, nothing to worry yourself over Edward." I mumbled.
REVIEW, WILL MOST DEFINITELY POST MORE, IVE GOT SOME GOOD IDEAS.