New Moon Parody

Hi everyone! This is TwilighterluvsEdward, but my friend who's helping with the writing of the Twilight Saga Parodies, wrote this chapter. (By the way, my friend and I DO like Twilight, but we had a few ideas of parts in the books that would be very weird to add in.) I helped with a few ideas and right now I'm just editing it. This is the second time I had to write this so I hope it comes out right:

Please don't take offense to anything in this story, it is purely for humor and not to make accusations towards any of the character's views in the story.

Disclaimer: No, my friend and I don't own Twilight. We may own copies of the books, but we aren't going to take credit for the creation of the Twilight Saga's books –that's Stephenie Meyer's work. Oh, and we don't own Hershey's Chocolate either. -Sighs-

~ Bella's Room, September 13th ~

Bella: Guess what today is?

Edward: The guy who made Hershey's birthday! Woo-hoo!

Bella: You like chocolate?

Edward: Duh! –Does sassy pose-

Bella: Edward, are you gay?

Edward: Duh! –Does sassy pose again-

Bella: …

Edward: Wait! I mean no. If that's the right answer…

Bella: Are you cheating on me for Mike Newton?

Edward: Umm. No.

Bella: OK!

Edward: What now?

Bella: School!

Edward: Yay! School! To the bat-mobile! (That's what Edward likes to call his car…)

~ At School ~

Alice: Bella! Happy Birthday!

Edward: Oh! Is that who's birthday it really is?

Bella & Alice: Duh! –Do sassy pose-

Edward: Hey! You stole my moves!

Alice: Umm. Bella?

Bella: You don't wanna know…

Alice: OK! So anyway, here is that present you specifically told me not to get you! –gives present-

Bella: AHHHHH! PRESENTS! I HAVE A TERRIBLE FEAR OF PRESENTS!

Edward: Really?

Bella: Noooo, I just screamed that I have a fear of presents for no reason at all.

Edward: Oh. (A/N Lolz! OOOOOOOh! Sorry it's an inside joke. It's too hard to explain. Anyway, back to the story.)

Bella: Edward! I was being sarcastic!

Edward: You're so confusing! Don't be confusing! My 100-year-old brain can't understand it! -Whispers- I'm an oldie.

Alice: You're a vampire! Of course you can understand it!

Edward: Oh, right.

(A/N Thanks for reading the first chapter of the New Moon Parody! My friend and I know it was short but we are still trying to figure out the finer points of the parody. There are going to be some jokes that will be connected with another Twilight Saga Parody we're doing…so are trying to plan it ahead right now – before we write it and post it on Fanfiction. Anyway, PLEASE REVIEW!!! Reviews help us with knowing what you do and do not want us to write about, so please click the little button below and tell us what you think!)