A fic by: Angel's blue eyed girl

Rating: As usual—a definite M!

Pairing: Buffy/Angel

Disclaimer: Joss owns them, but I like to play with him—er—I meant them! *grin*

A/N:This is a short (for me, it's short) two part fic set in season 4 of BtVS and season 1 of AtS. It takes place after 'IWRY', but before 'Something Blue'. It's A/R and guess what?? It's already complete!! *gasp* I know? Amazing, huh?

A/N 2: As always, I want to thank red, my amazing friend and beta. You are the best sweetie and I love ya bunches. :) I also want to thank my buds Vix, (who has a fantastic fic out there you guys, it's called "Broken" and if you haven't read it, you should. And Rox and Summer...(the evil twins) you guys inspire me and I want to say thanks for your encouragement with this fic. Roxy also has a terric fic out there too. It's in the Angelus section and it's called "Our True Nature" No fic for Summer, :( BUT she is finally recovering from her car accident! Yay! thanks for being there for me sweetie, even when you felt like crap! I'd also like to thank all of you who R&R my fics whether under Angel's blue eyed girl or AngelusdarkAngel's (Vix & Sarah) are my partners in those fics under the latter handle btw, your feedback inspires us. :)

Oh and btw: I KNOW I have two fics under my handle unfinished and two under Angelusdarkangels unfinished, but what can I say—musie is a finicky little thing and she HAD to write this!! So I hope you likey!


Jen (Angel's blue eyed girl)

Part One:


Buffy and Willow exited the Psych building, talking quietly. The blond Slayer was telling her friend about her meeting with Angel last week and how they'd decided to just let time pass until hopefully they'd be able to someday forget the love they'd shared.

Willow eyed her friend with a skeptical gaze. "So…are you really okay with that, Buffy?"

Buffy shrugged, not trusting her voice not to crack if she dared an actual verbal response. Was she? She still loved the darkly sensual vampire, but he'd left her and she only saw pain in her future if she hung onto the hope that someday it might work out between them.

At Willow's stare, Buffy managed to formulate a proper reply. "I'm trying to be," she said.

Willow wisely changed the subject. "What about that guy Riley?" she said with a teasing smile, hoping to draw Buffy out of her Angel blues. "He's cute and he's like totally into you. Maybe he could help with the—you know…Angel forgetting."

Buffy sighed as they made their way to their next class. "Maybe…" She shrugged again. "He likes me and he IS cute, but it's just…I don't know. I feel like something's missing…"

"He's not making you miserable?"

Buffy shot her friend a look. "Angel didn't always make me miserable, Wills. It was just…complicated," she finished, feeling sad all over again.

Willow again steered her friend towards their Psych T.A. "But what about Riley? He seems…solid."

"Yeah," Buffy agreed. "I can't see him causing me heartache."

Willow gasped and gave Buffy a look of mock horror. "Oh God, get out while there's still time!"

Buffy giggled and gave her friend a small shove. "Stop," she said. "I'm serious…I don't know if I could deal with a nice, safe relationship." Buffy felt her gut wrench at the thought of actually saying it was finally over between her and Angel. Again…she pushed that aside. "Angel was so intense," she murmured. "Everything was so—wild and he made me feel everything so—"

"Crazy?" Willow supplied.

Buffy nodded. "But not always in the bad way. Sometimes it was so good…"

Buffy's smile was dreamy and Willow grabbed her arm. "But remember the happy, Buffy. Angel and happy is so not good!"

Buffy blinked back her sudden tears. "I know," she whispered, feeling sick. "It's just—" She fell silent as she noticed the huge crowd gathered in the middle of the quad. "Was there a rally or something that we didn't get the memo for?" The two girls pushed their way through the crowd. Cursing her lack of height, Buffy peered through the mass of bodies, trying to see. She gave a huff of frustration and began to elbow her way through the crowd. She looked at her friend who was a tad taller and asked, "Willow, can you see what's going—?"

As if on cue, the crowd parted and Buffy's words stuck in her throat and her face flooded with color as her eyes landed on the couple in the middle of the grass. They were nearly naked and practically having sex right there in broad daylight. "Oh," she gasped, jaw dropping. "So not what I was expecting…"

Willow's face was also the shade of a ripe apple. "Um—yeah I can see and…" Her eyes widened as she stared at the lovers. "Is that legal in public?"

Buffy put a hand over Willow's eyes and tugged her away. "O—kay," she said, doubly embarrassed as clothes started getting tossed aside. "That was weird…and talk about hormone overload. Let's go this way…"

Willow turned her head, effectively losing the Buffy blindfold, and gave one last look over her shoulder. "Oh! I know that's not legal!" she gasped and looked away, closing her eyes as the hoots from the crowd got considerably louder.

They both breathed a sigh of relief as they made it to class without any more public nudity.

"Was it me or was that majorly bizarre and kinda disturbing, too?" Buffy asked as they took their seats.

Willow nodded enthusiastically. "Definitely. Kind of depraved too…in a kinda hot—" Buffy's eyes widened. "But not in the 'anything that I'd ever want to do' kinda way!" the red head babbled.

Buffy grinned and swallowed as a visual of Angel's naked body came to mind. HE might be able to make her lose that kind of control. As quick as the thought came, Buffy abandoned it. She HAD to stop that kind of thinking. They'd agreed it was over and all that was left was the forgetting. She really had to start that!

Buffy thought the scene in the quad was just a couple of drunken college students, but as the day wore on and the smut-fest spread across the campus like an epidemic, she realized this was a supernatural thing, rather than a young lust thing, and decided it was time to talk to Giles.

She was making her way to his house when a group of young men spotted her and let out a howl that sounded more like a pack of dogs than a group of human males. Buffy froze, trying to decide how best to handle the situation. She got into a fighting stance, but as they ran towards her, Buffy was reminded that these guys weren't vamps she could dust. They were human and therefore off limits. They were almost upon her when Buffy made up her mind. She gave a soft curse and took off at a run, the pack nipping at her heels the entire way to Giles' house.

Her Watcher was pouring himself a cup of tea when Buffy barreled through the door and slammed it shut. Flushed and out of breath, she dug her heels in and braced herself against the door.

Startled, Giles jumped and spilled his tea. "Buffy, may I remind you there are more polite ways to enter a person's home than—"

"Can you give me the finer points of etiquette later, Giles?" Just then a loud bang sounded against the door, followed by pounding and screaming—or howling. The door shuddered and rattled as Buffy dug her heels in. "Okay—we have a serious problem here. Not vamps—people. People acting crazy—insane—major bad," she gasped, using every ounce of her Slayer strength to hold the door shut.

"I can see that," he replied setting his tea down. "What are the symptoms?"

"Testosterone overload and lots of overactive hormones…" The door rattled again. "Can I get a bit of help here?"

Giles sighed. "Buffy, do lock the door. Though you make a nice human barricade, I could use your help researching whatever is causing this…" He waved his hand. "Commotion."

Buffy blushed as she realized she hadn't done that. "Oh…guess that'd help, huh?" she said, turning the lock. Eventually the guys outside gave up and left.


Cut to L.A.

Sweat poured down Angel's face, chest and back as he pounded on the heavy bag. He growled as he hit the bag harder and harder, working off some of his aggression after giving up his humanity and losing Buffy all over again.

He felt Doyle enter the room, but ignored him as he continued to work the bag.

After watching the lopsided battle for a minute, Doyle quipped, "Hey, is this a private catharsis, or can anyone watch?"

Angel didn't take his eyes off the bag as he hit it again. "What do you want?"

Doyle gave his charming, devil-may-care grin. "Well, there's a girl upstairs who's not quite sad enough ta cry in me arms, but keep up the dark cloud—an' I might get lucky!"

Angel paused then hit the bag again, sending it spinning. "I just need some time…"

"Believe me, I know. When Harry was here—I saw her for what? All of about five minutes and I was a wreck for days…" He grimaced. "Though a lot of that had to do with her fiancé wanting to eat m' brains too, come to think about it."

Angel stopped punching the bag. His face took on a look of sad, desperate longing as he lowered his head. "Buffy was here for more than five minutes," he said, quietly.

Doyle shrugged. "Okay, ten, but who's counting?" Angel turned and glared, but Doyle kept going. "You need to get out of your funk, Angel. I know how a woman can tie a man up in knots, man. Just look at what Cordy does to me and we don't even have that all or nothing kind of love you and the Slayer have…"

Angel rolled his eyes. "You and Cordy don't have ANY kind of love, Doyle, and Buffy was here for a lot longer than five or ten minutes okay?" He grabbed a towel to wipe his face. "She was here for a whole night and day," he said and headed for his bedroom.

Doyle stood there for a second before he smiled and shook his head. "Alright…one of us has been drinking and I'm sad ta say it isn't me."

Angel came out of his room then and his face bore a look of hostility Doyle hadn't seen since that first night they'd met. "Who are the Oracles, Doyle?" he growled. "And WHY haven't you told me about them before?"

Doyle jumped and his jaw dropped, then his mouth closed with a snap. "The Oracles?" he asked, stalling for time. "Who told you about the Oracles?"

Angel's next words made his mouth drop again. "You did."

"I—no—see, I'm gonna remember a trip to the netherworld of eternal watching—especially if I'm introducing you to the Oracles." He raised a brow at Angel. "It's not something you just forget…if ya know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do," Angel replied as he got out a bottle of Irish whiskey and proceeded to tell his friend about the actual day that he and Buffy had enjoyed—leaving out the graphic details, of course.

Stunned, Doyle reached for the glass. He shot it back quickly, trying to come to terms with what Angel had just told him. "Human? You were a real-live-flesh-and-blood human being…and you and Buffy—" He shook his head in wonder as he stared at Angel. "Let me get this straight. You had everything you wanted in your unnaturally long life and yet…you gave it all back?! It just doesn't seem fair…"

Angel played with his half full glass as his stomach churned with doubt. "Maybe I was wrong…"

Doyle sighed and tipped the bottle, refilling his glass. "Or maybe you're the real deal in the hero department," he whispered. He raised blue green eyes and focused on the vampire he now considered his best friend. "See, if it was me—I'd have chosen the pleasures of the flesh over duty any day of the week." He shot back his drink and then set his glass on the table. "I just don't have your strength."

Angel shook his head. "You don't know your strength until it's tested, Doyle, and I think you're stronger than you think."

Doyle poured another drink for himself and topped off Angel's glass. "Yeah, this coming from the man who's lived, loved and lost everything he ever wanted in a day." He fiddled with his glass, then looked Angel in the eyes. "And here I am…still trying to work up the nerve to ask Cordy for dinner…"

Angel shrugged. "Maybe you should start by telling her about your demon side…"

Doyle choked on his drink. "How about you stick to being the honest hero type and I stick with being the guy who drinks too much, but in a charming, devilishly attractive kinda way…"

Angel snorted. "Let me know how that works out for you."

Doyle studied him as he imagined sacrificing what Angel had. He couldn't picture it and he didn't think it was fair that the Powers had forced such a decision on his friend. It may have been the booze, or maybe it was just that he loved Angel like a brother, but whatever it was, suddenly Doyle was royally pissed that Angel had been forced to give up the one woman who made his non-beating heart go pitter-pat. He jumped to his feet, almost knocking his chair over.

Angel raised a brow. "Uh—forget an appointment?"

Doyle nodded. "Actually, yeah…I did. " he headed for the stairs, but stopped and turned. "It's unfair, Angel. You fight the good fight—save all the helpless types around here, but no one saves you. It doesn't seem fair, does it, boyo?"

Angel didn't have a chance to reply. Doyle muttered that last sentence and ran up the stairs as if the latest Apocalypse was brewing right here in his living room! He sighed and headed for the shower. He shrugged out of his clothes. He paused with his shirt in his hand. It was the shirt he'd been wearing on that day and it reminded him of Buffy—hell, who was he kidding? Everything reminded him of her right now. He felt his body harden and he groaned. It was so hard—no pun intended—to not think about her. His sheets still smelled of her. With a snarl of lust-slash-disgust, he tossed the shirt aside, grabbed a towel and turned on the water, doing his best to NOT relive, in vivid detail, every moment of those twelve hours he'd spent with her…


Sunnydale, Giles' house:

Giles ran his finger down the page until he found what he was looking for. "Her name is Voluptas—"

"Voluptas…as in voluptuous?" Buffy rolled her eyes. "What is she, some kind of sex demon?"

Giles silenced her with a look. "No, not a demon. Voluptas is an ancient Goddess of love, lust and sexuality, and…" He raised a brow. "She is not something to trifle with, Buffy. Her claws contain a type of aphrodisiac. If she scratches you or possibly even touches you with them—you'll be infected."

Buffy scowled, "Well, I guess I'll just have to make sure she keeps her claws to herself."

Giles continued reading, getting more concerned with every word. "Her poison is most potent. It says once infected the person is cursed with an uncontrollable urge to mate with…" His brows drew down, "someone they love or desire. There is no cure, except from Voluptas herself or to fulfill the curse."

"Great another curse, just what I need, because those always work out well for me," she muttered. "Okay, so let's say you don't fulfill the curse…what then?"

He sighed. "The person infected will go mad and most likely commit suicide."

She rolled her eyes. "What, no foam oozing from the mouth?" She took a calming breath and her face hardened. "Does that book say how I kill her?"

Giles took off his glasses and cleaned them, amazed she hadn't realized how dangerous this mission could be for her—for all of them, really. "You don't," he said, putting his glasses back on.

"What do you mean I don't?! She's got half the town doing the wild thing all over the place, Giles!"

"I'm quite aware of the situation. I'm more amazed that you seem not to be." Buffy crossed her arms, waiting for Giles to explain. "Buffy, surely you can imagine what would happen if you became infected?"

She raised a brow. "I'd get frisky—I get it, but she'd get dead and quick."

"Not quite, if your inhibitions were eradicated, just whom do you think your choice of mate would be?"

Buffy's eyes bulged at it hit her then. "Oh," she whispered. "I-I'd go looking for Angel, wouldn't I?"

"Yes, I'm very much afraid you would and that would set off another curse—"

Buffy raised her hand. "I get it, Giles…that would be bad and in a big way. No more explanation needed." She sighed. "So if I can't kill her, how do I stop her?"

"Very well, it says here, that she's looking for her lost love; Aros. Not much is said about what happened to the fellow, but after he disappeared, she took out her sorrow by infecting lost lovers or as it appears the populace in general with her curse. According to this, the only way to stop her is to find her lost love and return him to her. Once they are together again, she will be satisfied and most assuredly leave on her own." He closed the book. "I should think the affects of her poison will fade rather quickly once she is no longer here."

The Slayer gave a huge sigh. "So, I guess she's not really a bad goddess then, huh?"

"Apparently not, but she is angry, and quite capable of infecting the whole town in a matter of days. Not to mention what could happen if she were to start poisoning demons too."

Buffy sucked in a breath at that. The last thing she needed was a bunch of horny vamps running around! "Let's not even go there, okay. So we need a plan. We have to find this Ares guy and re-unite him—"

"Not Ares, Buffy. That is the Greek God of War. Aros, is a God too, but not quite as fierce—please do NOT return to Sunnydale with Ares."

Rolling her eyes, Buffy blew out a frustrated breath. "Maybe we could use a war God…he didn't seem so fierce on Xena," she grumbled and Giles began to rub his temples, but Buffy was already changing the subject. "Do we even know where her lover is? And how am I supposed to find HER lost love when I can't—" She bit her tongue. She'd almost said when she couldn't even hold on to her own true love, but right now, she knew how that would go over and it wasn't well.

But Giles understood and for once didn't lecture. "I have faith in you, Buffy. You are far more resourceful than you give yourself credit for, but in this instance I think it best if you avoid her until we can locate Aros. Don't you?"

Buffy nodded. "Right, I'll be big on the avoidy thing, but what about patrolling? I need to patrol tonight."

"Very well, just do be careful."

"Got it. Just call me careful, Buffy," she said and headed for the door.

"Oh and Buffy…?" She turned back. "Will you please ask Willow and Xander to come over tonight? I could use the extra help to locate Aros."

"Will do, see ya," she said with a smile and wave. As soon as Buffy left Giles', her smile faded and she felt tears well up in her eyes. She could totally relate to this Voluptas. She'd loved and lost too. She knew how bad it hurt to have the man you love no longer there... she wiped at her eyes and abandoned that line of thinking. That way led to Angel and that meant pain and lots of it.


Under the post office in L.A.

Doyle was nervous as he performed the ritual. He knew the rules—only a Warrior was allowed to approach the guides to the mystery that was the Powers That Be, but he was determined Angel's plight should be heard—it wasn't fair. Angel was honestly trying to do the right thing and he shouldn't have to pay and pay for something HE didn't even do!

He threw the magical herbs into the pot and it flared up. "Please don't let them turn me into a toad," he whispered. Then in a stronger voice he said, "I beseech access to the knowing ones." A fire blazed out of the pot and a doorway appeared. Doyle took a deep breath as he stepped through. "Well, here goes nothing…" he muttered, gasping at the sudden drop in temperature.

He stumbled and looked around. Everything was white and blue and…cold. SO cold, he thought, rubbing his arms.

The male Oracle stepped forward. "What are you doing here? You aren't even a Warrior. You are beneath even the lowest of beings allowed here!"

The female Oracle laid her hand on her brother's arm. "He is here for the Warrior."

"That was settled and we aren't to speak of it again! What is done cannot be undone, you know this. He must leave."

She shook her head. "His heart is pure and he is a hero…" She gave her brother a smile. "Watch and see." She held out her hand. "What have you brought for us?"

Doyle gulped. He knew he'd forgotten something! He dug in his pockets and pulled out a locket. It was Cordy's. The one he'd told her earlier that he'd go and get the chain repaired for…

The female laughed with glee and the locket disappeared from his palm and landed in hers.

Horrified and more than a bit afraid at what Cordy would say, he scratched his head and shuffled from foot to foot. "Um…about that locket—"

"What?" the male Oracle interrupted. "Did you really come here with nothing but yourself to offer?"

Doyle saw even the female wasn't smiling anymore and realized it was Cordy's locket or Angel. He sighed. His Princess was going to be pissed. "Um, no… not at all…I was just wondering if you liked hearts is all," he said giving the female his most charming grin.

The female giggled. "I like hearts—it's what makes a Warrior strong."

Doyle agreed. Angel's heart is exactly what was motivating him right now. "My thoughts exactly an' I was thinking about a particular warrior's heart as a matter of fact."

The male scoffed. "You mean the Vampire?"

"Aye, I'm meaning Angel. He's sacrificed….he gave up what he wanted more than anything to save the world, and I'm thinkin' he should be—"

"Rewarded?" the male asked.

"Well, yeah. Not like winning the lottery or anything, but at least bind the man's soul, so he can be happy."

The female stroked the heart. "But he is no longer cursed. Once he became human and we took back the day—his soul became his own. A gift from the Powers, not a curse from the Romany." She raised a dark brow. "Why are you here asking us for what has already been granted?"

Doyle's jaw hung open, before he snapped it closed. "I—"

"It is done, now get out!" The male snapped with a wave of his hand.

Doyle flew through the air and bounced off the walls to land on his face in the dirt. Shaking his head, he sat up and grinned. He almost laughed out loud. Angel was cured. Man or demon…he could get as happy as he wanted with his Slayer. The Irish half demon jumped to his feet and hurried through the tunnels. He couldn't wait to tell his friend that he was finally free…



It was almost four in the morning as Buffy made her way across Sunny-Rest cemetery. She'd spent as much time running from would be suitors under the influence of the curse as she did dusting vamps tonight. She was checking headstones looking for the last name on her list, when she heard woman's voice coming from up ahead. Oh Lord, she hoped she wasn't about to stumble onto another orgy scene. Buffy had seen things tonight that would keep her blushing for weeks ahead. Voluptas had turned Sunnydale into a city of sin to rival Las Vegas! Rounding a large mausoleum, she came face to face with the goddess herself. She had her claws buried in…Buffy's eyes widened, "Oh no," she whispered as she recognized the platinum blond hair of Voluptas' newest victim.

The Goddess stopped chanting and turned to Buffy. With a smile she held out her hand. "Ah, the Slayer. Come my sweet, I can help you forget the agony that lives in your heart."

"Um—my heart's just fine, but thanks for the offer," Buffy replied, keeping a watchful eye on Spike. The last thing she needed was him chasing after her looking to get busy.

The goddess laughed girlishly. "Lying will not hide your pain. I feel it—" Her face went hard as stone. "I KNOW it!"

She flew at Buffy. The Slayer batted her away, but Voluptas' nails scraped along Buffy's arm. In an instant a rush of heat swamped her petite frame. Her pulse accelerated and her skin felt tight—sensitive and much too hot. Buffy looked down at the scratches. "Why am I thinking I'm in trouble here?"

The Goddess smiled. "You're not in trouble, but soon you will be free to go after what you desire."

"Still thinking trouble…" Buffy muttered as visions of naked Angel began to dance through her head.

Spike suddenly turned to her. "Hello pet, are you feelin' what I'm feelin'?"

"Not for you…" she said, her breathing becoming erratic as her whole body tightened with barely restrained lust. Buffy moaned. "Oh, yeah—definitely trouble." But she was helpless to stop the flood of desire as it slithered through her insides, making her need ten times stronger.

Spike started forward, but Voluptas restrained him easily. "She is not yours," she said to him, then turned back to Buffy. "Go to him…" the Goddess said with a smirk. "Take what you want—you know you want to."

"Oh, I want—I want a whole lot, but…" Buffy chewed her lip and tried to fight the temptation. She now had proof Voluptas could infect vampires. She really needed to…she couldn't remember what was so urgent. The only urgency she was feeling right now was the need to go see Angel.

"But nothing. Why must we women always wait for the man to make up his mind?" Her eyes glowed fiercely in the moonlight. "We are powerful. YOU are powerful." She left Spike standing next to the mausoleum and grabbed Buffy by the arm. Buffy tried to pull away, but the claws only dug in deeper giving the Slayer a second dose of pure lust. "Go after him and take him. It's what you desire—make him see that."

Buffy bobbed her head like a robot. "Want-take-have," she whispered. "I finally get that."

The goddess smiled with satisfaction. "Yes, exactly."

Buffy nodded absently before taking off at a run. The goddess was forgotten as she sped across town. The only her only thing on her mind at that point was getting to Los Angeles and taking what she needed…


Angel Investigations:

Cordelia looked up from her computer as Doyle entered the office. "Well, it's about time! Jeez, I've been calling you for like…ever!"

Doyle pulled out his phone. He noticed it was off. He turned it on and sighed. She'd called twice. "Um—Cordy, calling me twice in the last half hour doesn't really say forever, if ya know what I mean."

"Whatever. It felt like forever and why didn't you answer anyway? Angel's been looking for you."

He sat on the edge of her desk. "I was on a mission." He fiddled with her papers. "So where is tall, dark and broody?"

Cordy ignored the question and asked one of her own. "What kind of mission? Oh and did you drop off my locket?"

Doyle almost fell off the desk. He righted himself and swallowed hard as he debated whether to tell her about going to the Oracles and her necklace, but decided against it. He liked his head right where it was, thank you. Cordy was territorial and she considered this office and Angel too, in a way, as hers now. If she didn't kill him over the necklace, she definitely box his ears for telling Angel he could be with Buffy now. "Nothing serious, just settling up a debt," he lied, hoping he didn't look as guilty as he felt.

Her eyes narrowed and she stared at him long and hard. Doyle fought the urge to fidget under her scrutiny. "Were you gambling again?" she asked finally.

He almost sagged with relief. "I was and for once luck was on my side…and hopefully it'll stay that way…" he said mysteriously as he got up from the desk and headed downstairs to Angel's basement apartment.

Cordy watched him go and snorted. "Couldn't have won that much—or why else is he still dressing like that?" she muttered.

Doyle entered Angel's apartment and wasn't surprised to find the dark vampire training still, but he was nervous about telling Angel he'd kind of meddled in his personal life. "Still trying to work off that Slayer tension, eh?"

Ignoring that comment, Angel swung the broadsword in a well executed arc that would easily decapitate any opponent he was facing.

"Before you go and start chopping anything or anyone—I got a bit of news for ya."

Angel sighed. He knew Doyle wouldn't leave until he said his piece. He pointed the sword's tip at the floor. "What now?" he asked.

Doyle shuffled his feet, suddenly wondering if Angel might not be happy he went behind his back and talked to the Oracles without asking him first. "Well…if you could have anything ya wanted—" He noticed Angel was gripping the claymore tighter now. "Can ya be unarmed when I give ya my news?"

Angel's brows lowered and his eyes drilled into Doyle's. "Why am I thinking I'm going to WANT to be armed when I hear what you've done?"

"Done? What makes ya think I've done anything?"

"Because you have something face, that's why."

Doyle frowned. "Is that actually an expression?"

Angel growled and Doyle jumped. "Alright—don't go all growly on me, man." He flashed a grin. "When we were talking earlier—It got me ta thinkin—"

"Not sure if that's a good thing," Angel teased. He was starting to get a nervous tension in his belly and he wasn't sure he wanted to hear what Doyle had to say.

"Ach man—can ya let me tell ya? Believe me, you'll be thankin' me before long."

Later, after Doyle explained what the Oracles had told him, Angel paced the entire length of the room. "Are you sure? What if it's a trick?"

"For the tenth time, yeah, I'm sure and the higher ups don't really have a sense of humor, Angel." Doyle was confused at Angel's reaction. "Hell man, I thought ya'd be a bit more happy about this. Ya can finally have what ya've wanted in your life and you're acting like I just tried ta stake ya!"

Angel felt dizzy. He sat down on the couch. "I don't know what to say."

"How about thank you," he replied with a grin.

"But…" Angel shook his head. "Nothing's changed. I still can't give her what she wants—a normal life."

Doyle knew Angel was no dummy, but in this he sure was being dense. "Have ya ever asked the girl what she wants? Or did ya just make up her mind for her?"

Angel shot him a disgruntled look. "Me and Buffy don't belong to ourselves, Doyle. We belong to the world—fighting."

"And is it written somewhere ya can't do that together?"

"No it's just—she deserves better—someone who can take her out in the light, not lurking in the shadows. That all I have to offer her…darkness."

"Angel, I don't really know Buffy, but if ya ask me, the girl didn't seem the type that don't know her own mind and if ya haven't noticed, she's the Slayer—her gig kinda lives in darkness, with or without you, boyo." Doyle put his hand on Angel's shoulder. "Think about that before you decide to give up on what could be. You're both champions, ya both live in the shadows fighting for the hapless human race. Seems ta me the two of ya are perfect for each other, but then I believe in leprechauns, too," he teased. Angel snorted and Doyle grinned. "Just think about it, Angel…now if ya'd excuse me, I'm gonna go a try and take me own destiny in hand and finally ask Cordy out for that dinner."

Angel stopped him before he headed up the stairs. "Doyle…" The Irishman turned. "Thank you," Angel said quietly.

"Tell ya what…you can thank me by NOT telling Cordy about her locket and by letting yourself be happy. Whether ya believe it or not, Angel, you're the genuine article—a real champion and ya deserve a bit o' happiness. "

Angel watched his friend leave and wished he believed that as much as Doyle did. Try as he might, his mind kept drifting to that day that never was. Buffy had been so happy. But that was him as a human. Would she really be happy to have him back in her life as a vampire?

Memories of their time together before he lost his soul floated across his mind. She'd instantly accepted him, always loved him no matter what. He recalled the sewer conversation and how she'd told him she wanted her life to be with him, but their second sewer talk when she'd told him she was actually having a pretty good life now that he was out of the picture made him wonder. Would it really be fair to her to tell her about the clause being removed? He knew she wanted normal. He could still see her as she laid her head on his chest and said how 'for the first time' she felt like a 'normal' girl with a 'normal' boyfriend. He'd loved hearing that then, but now it burned, because he wasn't normal anymore, was he?

It seemed like an eternity as he flip-flopped back and forth, call her—don't call her. Finally, after going over it again and again, he realized that nothing had really changed, except he could have sex with her now. That was a plus, since it meant no more Angelus, but he was still a vampire and she was human. That hadn't changed and it never would. He still couldn't give her that normalcy she wanted. Children, sunshine and a lover who hadn't killed as many people as he'd saved… Those were things Angel wanted for Buffy and she'd never have them if he wedged his way back into her life.

More depressed than ever, Angel got up, grabbed a glass out of the kitchen and got out his bottle of Jameson's. He poured himself half a glass and shot it down quickly, enjoying the burn in his belly. He appreciated what Doyle had tried to do for him, but a part of him wished his well-meaning friend had kept his mind on his own problematic love life and had left his alone.

Angel gave up the glass and took a drought straight from the bottle as the pain of losing Buffy all over again made him want to curl up into a corner and cry. Tipping the bottle again, he took another huge sip of the whiskey, and settled on getting drunk instead.



"What do you mean he can be as happy as he wants?!" Cordelia exclaimed. "What about the curse?"

"That's what I've been trying to tell ya, Princess. The curse isn't a curse anymore. His soul is all his own—a gift from the powers themselves."

"When did this happen?" Doyle looked away and mumbled something she didn't understand. "What? Care to repeat that for those of us who don't mumble?"

He sighed; he KNEW he should have kept quiet. "Well…it happened when he gave back his humanity, but he just found out about it today."

"Why didn't he tell me? It'd be nice to know I'm not working for a vampire that can turn evil at any minute!" Her expression suddenly changed, and she crossed her arms and exhaled loudly. "Great so when can we expect Slay-gal to show up?"

"I don't know that he's called her yet or if he's gonna truthfully."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh puhlease, he'll call her alright and when he does you'll get to see first hand the trauma that is the Buffy/Angel show."

"Cordy, don't ya think they deserve a little happiness after all they've been through?"

For a moment Cordy looked a bit ashamed, but only for a moment. "I guess. So when was he planning on telling me what happened? I'm his friend too, you know."

"Maybe he thought you might be upset?' Doyle offered.

Cordy gave him a dirty look. "It's not that I'm not happy for him. I am, but I'm just worried too, I mean what if Buffy wants him to go back to Sunnydale. What will I do then?"

Doyle sighed and shook his head, sometimes there was just no understanding the girl…


Using her Slayer stealth, Buffy crept through the door to the office of Angel's Investigations. Her body was humming now, he was so close—she could feel him, her blood was singing in her veins and she'd never felt so hot and achy in her life

The tingle in her belly led her down the stairs. As she entered his apartment, she looked around. The place screamed Angel. Warm, but dark and a bit dangerous, she thought, as she noticed the weapons hanging on the wall. Her tummy was doing cartwheels—he was right here. That place between her thighs was throbbing now.

Angel had drunk himself into a good buzz by the time he lay down, hoping to sleep off his melancholy. But his head had no sooner hit the pillow when his senses went into alert and his body started shivering with electric tingles. He sat up and ran a hand through his hair and blinked, looking around for the cause of his sudden prickling of his flesh. He only felt that when…his eyes widened and he leaped off the bed. "Buffy," he gasped and headed for the living room.

She was waiting for him. "Hello, lover," she purred. Her eyes raked over his face and body. "I missed you," she said, sauntering closer to him, hips swaying in a way that made Angel's body tighten with lust.

He backed away from her. "Buffy?" His back hit the wall and he gulped as she kept advancing on him. "Why are—?" She pressed her body against his and her hand drifted down his chest to tug on his belt. "What're you doing?" He almost didn't recognize the squeak that was his voice.

"Doing?" she asked, rubbing against him like a cat in heat. "I'm not doing anything…yet," she whispered, leaning up on her tiptoes to nip at his throat.

Angel's head banged off the wall as he tried—and failed—to avoid those perfect little white teeth. She bit down on the corded muscle of his neck and a shudder went through his body that almost buckled his knees. "God…" he moaned and helplessly turned his head to give her better access.

Buffy's hand drifted down to cup the erection straining the confines of his pants. "Happy to see me?' she said with a teasing light in her eyes.

Angel clenched his eyes shut and took several deep, gulping breaths to try and control the raging desire that was coursing through him. "Buffy," he groaned. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong. As a matter of fact…now that I'm here, everything is just right," Buffy said, rubbing her thigh against Angel's leg.

He gripped her wrist and tried to pull her hand away from his crotch. "Stop. Buffy, wait…we can't."

Angel yelped in surprise when her hold on him tightened until it hurt as much as it delighted. "Shit," he gasped, pulling at her wrist in an effort to make her let him go. "Buffy, what the hell is wrong with you? Are you under a spell?" he asked, trying to reason with her. He knew something must be up because her behavior was so unlike her.

"Nope, no spell…but I did hear an interesting conversation earlier…" Her eyes blazed and Angel realized she was not only more aroused than he'd ever seen her, she was seriously pissed too. "Wanna know what I heard, lover?"

Since she had him by the balls—literally, Angel could only nod.

"I heard that a certain vampire is all souled up and curse free." She raised herself on her tip-toes and licked the shell of his ear. "Isn't that funny?" She wasn't laughing though. As a matter of fact, she looked downright dangerous and shivers raced up his spine at his vulnerable position and how easily she could seriously hurt him.

"Buffy, I can explain—"

"No. No explanations. No talking. I don't want to talk. I wanna take your shiny new soul out for a test drive."

She was stroking him now through his pants and Angel was having a hard time putting together a coherent thought, much less finding a suitable reason why he shouldn't just give her what she so obviously wanted.

"But I haven't talked to the Oracles. It might—"

She stopped fondling him for a second and gave him a strange look. "You talk to Orcas? Why?"

He couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face at her misunderstanding what he'd said. "Not Orcas, as in whales," he said, chuckling. She really was adorable—even pissed. "Oracles. They're the messengers for the Powers That Be."

"Powers That Be…what?" Before he could answer, Buffy decided she really didn't care, they'd wasted enough time. She needed him naked and now would be nice. "Whatever," she said and before he could stop her she'd ripped his shirt open, sending buttons flying everywhere. Buffy practically purred as his pale, well muscled chest was exposed to her hungry gaze. "God, I'd almost forgotten how perfect you are."

"Jesus," he breathed as she began to place open mouthed kisses across his chest, pausing to swirl her tongue around first one flat male nipple, before moving on to give the other one the same treatment.

He could smell the magical influence around her, but it didn't matter, she was so turned on, Angel knew, even if he wanted to, he wasn't going to stop his Slayer from taking what she wanted from him. Not to mention it was becoming impossible not to give in to her demands—it was what he wanted too. Just then she bit down on the hard tip of his nipple and with a groan Angel caved. His arms went around her tiny waist and with a snarl of raw lust; he hauled her up against his body and kissed her with a desperation he'd thought to never feel again.

Buffy aided his assault by leaping into his embrace and wrapping her powerful legs around his waist. The ache there was unbearable and she grinded herself against him, trying to find the right amount of pressure to give her the relief she needed.

Angel growled and made his way to his bedroom without putting her down or breaking the kiss. He fell backwards onto the bed with Buffy still wrapped around him like a second skin.

As soon as they hit the bed, Buffy straddled his hips and her hands went to the button of his pants. "Need you…naked," she panted.

Angel was in total agreement and his hands immediately started to divest Buffy of her clothes. She raised her arms so he could get her top off then went right back to his fly. The sound of his zipper being lowered made Angel tremble with lust and he returned the favor. Buffy stood, grabbed his pants from the bottom and pulled. Angel lifted his hips and they slid of easily.

Licking her lips, she feasted her eyes on his naked body. "Commando? I like it," she said playfully before she shimmied her way out of the rest of her own clothes.

His growls were getting louder as he took in her tanned, perfectly toned naked body. She was lean and firm, but curvy in all the right places and Angel had never seen anything more beautiful. "Buffy," he sighed, raising his eyes to hers. "Come here, baby," he said, holding out his hand to her.

Buffy didn't need to be asked twice. "God, I missed this—you," she whispered as he pulled her down and on top of him.

Buffy rubbed herself against him, relishing the feel of his cool skin sliding against her burning flesh. "Touch me, Angel. I need you."

He was already close to coming, but then again, so was she. He didn't want to embarrass himself, but he was under no illusions that this first time would be anything but quick. He flipped them over so that she was beneath him and his hand found its way to her dripping center. He could feel the heat emanating from her before he even touched her. "You're so hot," he murmured.

Buffy arched completely off the bed when his fingers slid through her damp curls and touched her intimate folds. "Angel, yes!" she gasped, spreading her legs wide, offering herself to him completely.

She was so wet, so ready for him, Angel had to grit his teeth to get his body under control. He had to get her off first, because he doubted he was going to last more than a few seconds inside her. He inserted first one then another finger inside her as his thumb played with her over-sensitized clitoris. Buffy raised her hips, seeking more of his touch and Angel obliged, adding yet another finger into her. He applied a bit more pressure on her clit and wriggled the fingers inside her—it was enough and with a cry Buffy spiraled into her first orgasm.

Angel was panting with lust as he gripped his cock and rubbed the head against her sopping entrance. "Buffy…baby, I'm sorry, but this is gonna be quick," he muttered. "But I promise I'll make it up to you the next time…"

A muscle ticked in his jaw as he slowly pushed his way into her body. She was so tight, he could feel her stretching to accomodate his size and his eyes rolled back in his head when she rippled around him. He began reciting the alphabet in latin as he fought the urgent need to come right then and there. She was so responsive, her soft moans and whimpers of pleasure urged him on and he slid even deeper.

"God Buffy, you feel so good," he growled. It had been so long, she was clenching around him so hard, it was almost painful. "So tight," he groaned, wondering how he was going to maintain control when her inexperienced movements were driving him wild. She was practically still a virgin and Angel was a bit stunned at how much that thought pleased him. It made him all growly, possessive. She was HIS.

On the heels of that thought, he was reminded of what Spike had told him about her being with some asshole who'd used her a while back. While it enraged him to think of anyone else inside her, he'd left her and he couldn't blame her for seeking comfort from someone, but to have some jackass screw her and toss her aside—that burned. While those thoughts helped his control, it jacked up his temper, and Angel made a mental note to find, and at the very least, torture the prick sometime in the very near future.

Unaware of what was going through his mind; Buffy wrapped her arms around his back and tried to pull him deeper. "Angel," she whined. "Need you all the way in…"

He couldn't help it, hearing her begging was too much and with a groan he gave her what she wanted. Their cries echoed off the walls as he buried himself to the hilt, filling her completely. Angel gulped unneeded air as he willed himself to slow down, but she was fluttering wildly around him and though he wanted to savor the feeling of being inside her again, he couldn't stop himself and began thrusting within her. His pace was moderately slow at first, but all too soon his movements became wilder, frantic almost as he felt his orgasm building.

Buffy arched under him and held on for dear life as her belly tightened and the stirrings of another climax began to tingle it's way through her. "Yes! Harder…oh God, Angel, please… I'm so close!"

He was too—he couldn't hold back any longer. "Christ," he growled and slid his hand between them to find her clit again. He tweaked it gently and groaned when she bucked under him, crying out his name as her release hit her. Her inner walls contracted around his cock, gripping him like a hot glove and with a shout of her name; Angel followed her into the abyss, shuddering wildly as he spilled his cool semen into her womb.


Okay guys, I hope you liked it so far...Part two will be coming soon, so please feed musie so she will feed my brain!! ;) :) ;) :)