I was sitting on the bed, with a cup in my hand, thinking about how I got here. It'd been a long and painful road, I thought, but a necessary one. I lifted my right arm, flexing the muscles in my hand. "Hmm..." I said, nodding my head. "I can do this." If only I had someone here to help me, I scoffed at myself.

I'd undone my pants and noticed the familiar tent popping up through my boxers. I was always hard it seemed these days. I pulled my cock out and took hold of it. It felt different than what I'd been used to this past year. It was thicker, I realized, as my hand continued to stroke up and down. This shouldn't take me long after what happened this morning. I'd been hard ever since.

I had woken before the alarm, the sun was shining through the window and I'd been watching him sleep. I sometimes did this. I'd watch the rise and fall of his chest, and the way his mouth rested slightly open. His expression was peaceful and I sometimes missed that when he was awake. It had been tough for us... tough for him. It took us well over a year to get our lives in order and fully come out to our friends and family. It didn't come as a surprise to some of them, others, well we knew we'd lose touch over the year and we had. Conversations had been awkward and forced, but things had calmed down enough to make it seem like nothing had changed between most of us.

My mother finally came around and forgave Jasper. I think it took her longer than it did me, but she eventually came to think of him as another son, especially when she found out his own mother hadn't accepted the idea of us. Jasper's mother chose to stay in denial and still introduced me as "Jasper's dear friend." He often joked how she'd take it if and when we ever decided to get married, but I knew it hurt him even though he tried to hide it. He wanted her to accept him, but she couldn't. My mother did her best to make up for the absence, but of course it wasn't the same.

He ended up moving here, giving up his life in Chicago. It just made sense for him to come here. I couldn't leave my children, and Alec and my parents were here so that had been relatively easy. We'd bought a place. It was bigger and in a much better neighborhood and with Jasper's income and my trust fund, it allowed us a comfortable living space, one big enough for the kids to have their own rooms when they stayed with us. Explaining the living arrangements to the children wasn't easy, but they were too young to understand and they both loved Jasper because he loved them wholeheartedly and that was all that mattered to them.

It was hard for me to trust him again. For the first few months, if he was late coming home I wondered if he was coming home at all. And when he had to go back to Chicago, I wondered if that would be the last time I saw him. The seed of doubt had been planted and that lil' bugger had deep roots. But each night he did come home, and each trip to Chicago brought him back to me with an aching need and the seed starved and eventually died. He stopped lying to everyone, and to me and more importantly himself. When his confession finally came, it was grueling to hear and a part of me didn't want to know what he'd been doing for those weeks, but he needed to get it off his chest so I listened without judgment. And at the end of it all, he didn't just owe me an apology but his wife as well, and Alec of course.

There were moments like the one I was having this morning when it all didn't seem real. I was lying in bed, naked, next to a man. But it wasn't just any man, it was Jasper. I was happy. Happier than I'd ever been. Sure we had our challenges, but what couple didn't. He still was a moody fuck, but now I knew him inside and out, literally, and he knew me.

"Mornin'," he said without opening his eyes. No matter how hard I tried not to move, save for opening my eyes, he always knew when I was awake. He rolled over, throwing his arm over my chest and kissed me 'hello.'

"Morning," I mumbled in return.

"Stop thinking." He touched the crease between my eyes, smoothing it out like he always did when I was deep in thought. He kissed me again, but this time it was harder, and there was more behind it. "I know how I can distract you." His hand trailed down the length of my torso, under the sheet and rested between my legs.

"Mmm," I groaned. "Do you think that's wise?"

"Knowing you..." I heard the laughter in his voice. "It won't matter."

"Fuck you."

"No... that's what I plan on doing to you." He threw his leg over mine, and I could feel his cock against my thigh. Jasper loved to fuck in the morning. I was more of an evening guy, but he loved morning sex. Maybe it was because he had to get up and go to work, where as I got a little more time in the morning to wake up before I had to pick up the kids and take them wherever they needed to be. Either way, I never complained... the two of us were always up for something.

He had rolled on top of me and was staring down at me smiling. "I fucking love the way you smell," he said as he kissed my neck. He sucked hard and bit down.

"Don't even think about it!" I moved away from him laughing. "No way! Not today. I'm not walking around there with your fucking marks on my neck."

He was laughing and kissing and sucking his way down my chest. He bit down on my nipple and I yelped.

"No one will see it here," he said.

"What if I have to take my shirt off?"

"Trust me... you won't have to take your shirt off."

"How do you know?"

He stopped tonguing my nipple and looked up at me with a grin. He rolled his eyes. "Ahhh... I've been there, done that."

"Rrr-ight," I said, letting him continue. "Ow! Fuck!" I yelled as he bit down again. He knew my nipples were sensitive, but he just chuckled some more while I rubbed the tender spot. "That hurt."

He ignored me and kept kissing and sucking until I felt him grab my balls. He squeezed them, but at least gently, while his other hand took hold of me. His mouth covered my head and I groaned in reaction. I threw my head back against the pillow and breathed deeply through my nose. I had a hold of his hair in my fists as he took me all the way into his mouth. He knew exactly what I liked. There were no secrets between the two of us anymore. His teeth lightly grazed my cock as he moved up and down. His fingers inched their way back until I felt him touch me intimately, rubbing circles, teasing the entrance of my body. He pressed gently at first and then harder, slipping a finger in and my hips rose up to meet it. He pushed another one in and my cock was soon forgotten as he rolled me over lifting my ass in the air.

After that first time, it had taken us some time to get used to each other. It was a month or two before we'd ventured into that territory again. Both of us had been terrified about trying it, and we were content to just suck each other's cocks. It was an alcohol induced evening with a bedside table stocked full of lubrication, when Jasper finally stuck his cock in my ass for the first time, and we'd not looked back since.

I heard him squeeze the bottle that had been lying on the table and prepared myself for what was coming next. His fingers prepped me, and I felt his cock waiting, laying squarely down the center of my crack. He hesitated, wanting me to say yes before he went further. I took a deep breath, our signal to each other and he entered deep inside of me.

"I'll never get tired of this," he said, and I shared his sentiments. With Jasper it was never enough, like we were never satiated. It was a little shocking how sexual we had become. For the past year we'd spent more time in bed than out of it. We were making up for twelve years of denying ourselves of each other and we were doing a pretty good job of catching up.

He hadn't moved, and I needed him to, desperately. I glanced behind me wondering what the fuck he was doing back there. He grinned that wise-ass grin of his and then slid out a bit before slamming his hips back into my ass, grinding himself deeper than before. My eyes rolled back in my head and I had to bite my lip while I grunted in response. But he stayed there again and when I looked back at him he was still grinning. How he was able to control himself, I didn't know, but it was pushing me to the edge.

"Jas... please," I said, moving my hips forward to get some relief.

I heard a low, drawn out growl and then he grabbed my thighs and started to move. He fucked me hard and fast, keeping a steady rhythm. It was always like this in the morning. No time for anything long-lasting and gentle. It was quick and dirty to get the release we both needed when we woke up with our pricks hard.

When I noticed his soft moans grow louder, I shifted my hips, deepening the angle. He thrust a few more times and told me he was going to come. I reached for my cock and started to pump my hand up and down, hoping we could come together.

"No..." he grunted, reaching for my hand. "Don't. I want you in me." My heart stopped. It wasn't often Jasper let me fuck him. We both preferred it that way. It wasn't that I didn't enjoy it or he didn't, it just always seemed to happen that way. Maybe it had something to do with that first time, or maybe it was just our natures, but whenever I did put my cock in him, it was rare and neither of us lasted long.

"Well, fucking hurry then," I said. His words caused a throb in my cock but he was still buried balls deep inside of me. "'Cause I won't make it." After a few more hard thrusts he cried out and fell on top of me, panting against my shoulder. He was cursing, and the sweat from his brow dripped on to my skin. He slid out of me and we both hissed, but the only thing on my mind was to get myself inside of him. I flipped him over so he was lying on his back with his legs lifted. I felt his cum, dripping down the back of my thigh and made a mental note that the sheets were going to be a mess.

I licked his lip, and sucked on it while I ground my dick into his stomach feeling the sticky mess between us. "Are you sure?" I asked, stopping to look in his eyes. He was still panting and his skin was all flushed. His hair was stuck to the side of his face where the sweat had dripped. I followed the moisture trail and moved down to kiss the bulge on his upper arm. The vein was popping out from all the exertion and I trailed my tongue along it.

"I need to feel you today." His voice was a little sad, and my heart clenched knowing what he was going to go through this morning.

"This isn't going to change anything."

"Yes it will."

"Not between us."

"If I can't do it," he said, "I want to have a part of you in me today."

I drove my tongue into his mouth wanting everything he was offering me. He pumped my cock a few times, while I reached to the table. I readied him for me and he slid my cock up and down his ass before resting it at his hole. He grinned at me again and I couldn't help but laugh back.

"What the fuck? Stop laughing," I said.

"I'm trying not to, but the look on your face..." He grinned again. "You look... hungry."

"Shut up," I said. My dick twitched against him and both of us stopped laughing. I was hungry, that was for sure. His eyes darkened and he gave a slight nod of his chin before we both took a deep breath.

"Done dicking around?" I joked, directing my cock toward him.

"Clearly not."

A shrill cry rang out at that inopportune moment, startling us both back to reality.

"Fffuck," he said, slamming his hand into the mattress and the second ring from the phone pierced the air. We heard the answering machine come on in the other room.

"What time is it?" I asked in a panic. It must have been late into the morning for someone to be calling.

"Yahoooo, boys!" Alec's voice echoed out from the machine. "This is your wake up call. Stop fucking around and get where you need to be. You're late because you've been diddling each other all morning. I know... Alec knows all. Anyway, good luck today, Edward. You sure as hell wouldn't catch me doing what you're about to do. Ta-Ta!" he said, and then added one last thing. "Oh! And don't forget. We have dinner at Jared's on Saturday. He's introducing us to his Sam, so you two be on your best behavior. From what Jared tells me, he's not big on the PDA so keep yours to a minimum, you horny little bastards! Okay... Love you!"

"Shit! We're late. Shit. Shit. Shit," Jasper said, and I knew he'd checked out. I was shit out of luck.

I looked down at my now painful erection, and almost whimpered. "Just a few minutes? Please?"

"She's going to kill us. You're going to have to hang on to that big boy." He slid out from under me and rushed into the bathroom.

"Oh, sure! You get off, but not me. Huge fucking blue balls here!" I yelled after him, stroking my cock. I couldn't leave the house like this, just a few more minutes and I'd be right as rain.

"Edward," he said, poking his head out of the bathroom, "no time." He was laughing at me.

"You're a fucker!"

"Come, on! We're really late. You're just going to have to save it."

"You're a dick."

"Yeah," he smiled, "but you've known that for years."

I threw a pillow at him, cursing obscenities.

"Fuck!" I said, as my body reacted to thoughts of this morning. I could feel my balls start to draw up, and the muscles at the base of my cock began to tighten. I was so fucking close. I pumped my hand up and down. Just a few more strokes, I thought as I bit my lip, raising my head to stare around the room. My hand was moving at a furious pace, and I looked for the cup that I'd accidentally discarded earlier. This was going to be messy trying to get it in there. A loud, eager knock banged on my door, causing me to cry out. It scared the shit out of me, or… more like scared the jizz out of me... déjà fucking vu. I'd come violently all over my hand, but at least I'd managed to get some in the cup. I could only grunt in response to the continuing bangs on the door.

"Cullen! What the fuck, man!" I heard through the door. "You need a hand? You've been in there forever."

Fucker! He'd done it to me again and I started to laugh. My heart was beating at a frenzied pace. I was standing with my pants down in a room with posters of fetuses and uteri on the wall at a clinic for 'making babies.' My face was flushed from having 'beaten the bishop' to a bloody pulp and the evidence of said beating lay all over myself and this tiny plastic cup in my hand.

"Fuck off!" I yelled back at him. I heard the doorknob rattling as he tried to get in.

"I can make it worth your while..." he said in a lowered voice through the door.

I hurried to clean myself up, using the small metal sink in the counter. I put the orange cap on the cup and put it and all of its contents in the brown paper bag. I threw the door open and there he was standing against the wall in those same dusty boots from College. His arms were crossed, his tongue rested against his bottom lip and he had a devilish grin on his face.

"You really are a fucker," I said.

"You're the one who wanted me to come with you for moral support." He wriggled his eyebrows at me... and I couldn't help but smile. I loved this man.

"Yeah, support, not ridicule, asshole."

He pushed away from the wall and grabbed hold of my collar pulling me toward him. He kissed me deeply. "Thank you," he whispered. "I know this wasn't easy for you."

"Yeah, blowing my load in a cup... something I've always wanted to do. You'd at least think they'd have let you come in with me."

We heard a giggle coming from down the hall. There were two nurses standing in the corridor watching us. Their faces were flushed and their mouths were hanging open. We were used to the stares by now. Our looks had always garnered some kind of attention from the opposite sex... even when we were straight. But now, the public displays of affection between the two of us left nothing to their imagination...for both women and men.

Jasper smiled at them, and then pulled on my collar again. "God, I fucking love you," he said and kissed me one more time while my arms still hung loosely at my sides. He let me go and turned to the women. "Mine," he said apologetically, walking toward them. "But this is yours... or rather my ex-wife's." He grabbed the brown bag from my hand and passed it to them while he led me out the door.

"That was cruel," I said as we exited the building.

"Maybe. No use giving them hope though." We got into the car and he drove us out of the lot.

"Where we going?" I asked, stretching out my legs. He didn't answer me, but I wasn't surprised. "Want to get something to eat?"


"Then what are we doing? You've got that look... like you've planned it all out. We still have to pick up the kids at three for the weekend."

"Nope. Your mom called. She said she knew how important today was, so they're taking the kids for a few days. She worked it out with your ex." We stopped at a red light and he turned to me. His eyes were dark. "I'm taking you home. We never got to finish what we started this morning."

"I'm spent, Jasper. I can't possibly—"

"You can't keep up with me?" he asked, laughing. "Pussy."

"Oh! So it's like that now. I just whacked off in a sterile clinic so you could have a baby and you're calling me a pussy," I said feigning outrage. "Huh. We'll see who's the pussy after I'm through with you."

He lifted my hand and kissed the back of it. His lips were soft and tender and his eyes held so much meaning in them. The light turned green and he stepped on the gas, speeding through the intersection. He chuckled and said, "I was hoping you'd say that."

(Well... sort of.)

Thank you to everyone who has been SO incredibly supportive! Man...what a ride!

I hope to see you soon! ;]


ps... I get to check the complete button!