Thoughts

I do not own the History Boys and I make no money from this fanfiction.

This fic is dedicated to my friend Antonia as she has been asking me to write History boys fanfiction for a while.

Posner is alone in his room. It's late and he's already done hours of work, he just can't do any more, so he's left to wallow in his thoughts. Naturally the first thought that springs to mind is a thought about Dakin. About Dakin and Irwin. Nothing has happened between the two of them, at least that's what he thinks, maybe it's just what he wants to believe. But he knows that Irwin likes Dakin. And that Dakin likes or is at least somewhat interested in Irwin.

It hurts. It hurts more than he expected it would. He'd almost got used to the fact that Dakin was 'dating' Fiona. But this was different. It showed that Dakin was capable of liking guys. That made it all personal. He could almost deal with the idea that Dakin was incable of liking him because of his gender; what he didn't like to think was that it was something to do with him personally.

Besides he didn't really see what was so special about Irwin. Sure he was clever, but was not Posner also clever? He was up for Oxbridge and his praises had often been sung by teachers.

He'd tried to change himself of course; to try and make himself attractive to Dakin. But nothing worked. He was just poor pathetic Posner who wore his feelings for Dakin so openly that it would be impossible for anyone not to notice. In their eyes, in his eyes, he couldn't change. He wished he could be less pathetic. He wished he could be in control of a situation for once (like Dakin always was). He wished he didn't have to show his emotions to everyone all the time.

Wishing never did him any good. He'd made a thousand wishes; whilst he was blowing out the candles on his birthday cake, in a wishing well, when he found a stray eyelash. So far no wishes had come true. (Of course that could have been because he wishes were all one wish repeated over and over.)

He wonders what will happen between Dakin and Irwin. If anything happens at all. After all Irwin is a teacher, it's against the rules, which is probably why Dakin wants him so much. Anything to test the limits. Which is probably why he doesn't want Posner. Posner doesn't have limits, he offers everything to the world, there are no barriers between him and the world. Nothing for Dakin to push against.

He can't stand this. Always having to think about Dakin and his mysterious ways. He can't do anything about it so he picks up a book, he's read it before, at least this way he knows there will be a happy ending.

The end...please review, it makes my day!