A/N: Okay, so I wrote this a while ago, just trying to pass time in between taking STAR tests… So, Tony is kind of an ass in this one, but…Hey, it goes with the song, so enjoy…

Disclaimer: I don't own the song or NCIS characters…

Emotionless

A song he had never heard came wafting threw the speakers. The screen was still black when the lyrics started.

Hey dad 'Emotionless' moved across the monitor.
I'm writing to you
'By?' came a second after that… 'Tyler, Robbie, Elise, Jason, Ariel'. His kids made this Tony realized. 'Tyler, Bass. Elise Guitar, Jason back up vocals, Ariel drums, Robbie lead vocalist'
not to tell you, that I still hate you
A picture of the boys ten years ago streamed by.
Just to ask you
A lot of pictures of them and Ziva came on, ones he noticed that he took.
How you feel
and how we fell apart
how this fell apart
as the slideshow continued, Ziva got bigger, obviously pregnant with Ariel.

Are you happy out there in this great wide world? The movie's pictures jumped to when Ariel was born, she was, what looked to be, four months old.
Do you think about your sons?
Do you miss your little girl?
Birthdays flew by. He saw Gibbs in the pictures with the kids, along side him, Abby and McFinally, Ducky sometimes and Jimmy would make their ways in.
when you lay your head down
how do you sleep at night?
First days of school pictures, all of them dressed all nice.
Do you even wonder if we're all right?

but we're all right
we're all right
A Christmas family picture popped up, the six of them smiling while someone took their picture

it's been a long hard road without you by my side
why weren't you there all the nights that we cried
you broke my mother's heart
you broke your children for life
it's not ok,
but we're all right
I remember the days, you were a hero in my eyes
but those are just a long lost memory of mine
I spent so many years learning how to survive
Now, I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive
They grew before Tony's eyes and it made him tear up. He missed so much of their lives and they didn't even want him back.

the days I spent so cold, so hungry
were full of hate
I was so angry
the scars run deep inside this tattooed body
there's things I'll take, to my grave
but I'm okay
I'm okay

it's been a long hard road without you by my side
why weren't you there all the nights that we cried
you broke my mother's heart
you broke your children for life
it's not ok,
but we're all right
I remember the days, you were a hero in my eyes
but those are just a long lost memory of mine
Now, I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive
yeah, I'm still alive

sometimes
I forgive
yeah and there's times
I'll admit
that I miss you, said I miss you
Ariel was about five in the video. Five years ago. This was how they felt, their father had left them, abandoned them, and Tony should have known it was going to be hard to raise four, plus the one he didn't know about, kids on her own. He really screwed Ziva over.

it's been a long hard road without you by my side
why weren't you there all the nights that we cried
you broke my mother's heart
you broke your children for life
it's not ok,
but we're all right
I remember the days, you were a hero in my eyes
but those are just a long lost memory of mine
Now, I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive
Tony thought it would be cool to live in LA, and it was, but he was self fish. He never thought about what his leave would do to his children. It was all about him, him, him.

And sometimes
I forgive
and this time
I'll admit
that I miss you, I miss you
hey dad
The screen was black once more and Tony reached over to shut it off when something popped up. A boy probably sixteen, seventeen, long shaggy hair that reached his shoulders, dark brown. His eyes also a deep brown, and he had tattoos covering his body.

The next looked eleven, light brown hair with mossy green eyes. His hair had the bowl cut, but it looked like he was growing it out.

The other boys, thirteen and fifteen, both had green eyes like the younger boy, and dark brown, almost black to a point, hair that was shoulder length like the oldest one.

The last person was a girl, little, a kid and was a mini-Ziva.

It was his kids.

TBC…

A/N: Sorry it took so long…Here it is…Ta da!