Welcome to my Akatsuki/Sakura crack!fic.

This first chapter features Hidan/Sakura, a couple that I've been waaaaay too eager to explore.

The chapters will not be connected in any way, unless stated differently. Alright, without further ado, please enjoy Narcotic!



Latin; n; to surrender to another


Three weeks ago, Kakuzu had dragged a bloody carcass into her med bay and dropped it on a gurney.

Immediately, Sakura had pounced on him, but her questions ("Who is that?" "Is that all his blood?!" "What the hell happened?") seemed to roll off Kakuzu's stitched shoulders like water off a ducks back. He merely turned his chilling black and green eyes on her and growled, "Fix him," before stalking out.

Sakura had turned dubiously to the pulpy mess. She was flattered by the obvious faith Kakuzu had put into her healing abilities by bringing her this victim from a B rated slasher film, but she was a medic, not a miracle worker.

The horrific mass of fleshy bits and bone fragments on the examination table roughly resembled what a human body would look like if someone had dumped it into a giant blender and hit puree. Yet to Sakura's surprise and morbid medical fascination and he was still alive. Rolling up the metaphorical sleeves, the kunoichi had instantly gone to work healing the battered nin.

Several labor intensive hours later, Sakura had transformed the mess of blood and bones on her gurney into a man with movie-star good looks. He was tall and long limbed, with the well muscled body of a shinobi, and snow white hair which fell messily around his handsome face.

Suddenly, his long lashes fluttered, casting delicate shadows against his pale cheeks before slowly opening, reveling gorgeous violet eyes which turned to look at her. His voice was hoarse from dehydration, but he parted his cracked lips to thank her,

"That uniform is sexy as hell, seriously."

"Excuse me?" Sakura blinked, certain she had not just heard what she'd thought she'd heard.

"What, are you fuckin' deaf? I said you look hot as fuck in that nurse getup, bitch."

Sakura had felt her cheeks flush in anger, and her white-haired patient had a few seconds to look nervous at the crazed gleam in her eyes before, in a moment of blind rage, the medic nearly undid four hours worth of work with one punch squarely to the freshly healed shinobi's jaw.

Kakuzu had returned an hour later to find his partner passed out on the gurney with an angry purple bruise along the right side of his face. His strange eyes slid over to Sakura, who sat near the door, a scowl on her lips. The dark-haired shinobi cocked an eyebrow, examining the silver-haired Jashinist again.

"Did you hit him?" He asked, tone light.

Sakura's eyes flashed angrily and she glared at him. "You bring him here half-dead, get blood all over my lab, tell me to "fix him" without telling me what the hell happened in the first place and now you're accusing me of hitting him? Huh? HUH?"

Kakuzu stared silently at her, and after several moments Sakura deflated, shrinking back in her chair.

"Yeah. I hit him." She sullenly admitted. "He deserved it." She added, fiercely.

Kakuzu smirked, leaning down and hoisting up his unconscious partner.

"Well, good luck getting rid of him now," He said mysteriously, dragging the Jashinist out of the med lab.

The pink-haired kunoichi frowned after him. "What does that mean?"

He was staring at her, again.

"How about I give you a checkup, huh? Seriously."

He leaned in the doorway, arms crossed over his bare chest and bone white teeth bared in an aggressive smile.

Sakura studiously tried to ignore him, looking calmly through patient files. Frowning, she watched from her peripheral vision as Hidan preen in the doorway, running his fingers through slicked white hair, violet eyes fixed intently on her.

Three weeks later, and he showed up every day like clockwork. Masochistic, foul-mouthed jerk.

Today he seemed particularly energetic, his chakra buzzing excitedly under his skin. Seeing he was not going to just sit there quietly and try to unnerve her with his stare, Sakura sighed, setting the folder down on her desk.

"The only one qualified to give anyone around here a checkup is me, Hidan." She tapped her nails against the desk, green eyes narrowing distrustfully as he smirked at her.

"Oh, I'm fuckin' qualified, bitch," He licked his lips, purple eyes trailing over her curves. "Why don't you strip out of that uniform and let me get a look at you, seriously!"

Exasperated, Sakura stood up from her desk and took several menacing steps toward the crazed Akatsuki.

"Unlike you apparently, I have actual work to do," Sakura glared, "So get out before I resort to physical violence."

"You threatin'n me?" He grinned. "'Cause that's fuckin' hot, seriously." His eyes brightened as Sakura cracked her knuckles.

"Bring it, pinkie!" He laughed, pushing back from the door frame to stand before her, a wide, excited grin on his handsome face. Sakura turned her back to him and took a deep, steadying breath.

He's just trying to rile you up, she told herself, slowly unclenching her fists. The disappointed look on Hidan's face did not escape her notice.

"You just want me to hit you!" She snapped, turning to face him. Angry green eyes immediately zeroed in on pale skin. Sakura blinked, finding her nose practically pressed against Hidan's well muscled chest. She swallowed (I am NOT nervous!) and slowly tilted her head back to glare menacingly at him.

Hidan's violet eyes twinkled mischievously, that same aggressive smirk still on his lips.

"Nah, I just want you to touch me, seriously," He grinned, leaning down to whisper in her ear. "But if you wanna hit me then I'd be totally into that, too, shit." His voice was a seductive purr, but the words sent shivers down her spine – not romantic shivers. Disgusted shivers. The feel of his fingers trailing up her arms tickled pleasantly and she quickly shook him off.

"Out," She demanded, pointing toward the door. "Now!"

Undaunted, Hidan sauntered over to the exam table and casually began to loosen his pants.

"What are you doing?!" Sakura did not screech. She asked him very calmly and reasonably. She didn't blush either. Really.

"Oh, c'mon," He cackled, "you're a fuckin' medic! I thought you'd appreciate getting to see some anatomy, seriously!" He stretched, well muscled arms reaching up high over his head. His sweatpants hung low on his hips, revealing a well defined groin cut and chiseled abs.

Sakura suddenly felt dizzy.

Hidan's smug grin quickly had the pink haired kunoichi finding her center of balance, however.

"I've already seen everything you've got," Sakura huffed, quickly turning her back on him once more. She didn't see Hidan's eyes light up with wicked amusement.

"But you know you wanna see it again," He purred, leaning down over the petite medic, his hands bracing against the exam table on either side of her. He nuzzled her hair, and she could feel the heat emanating from his body. It seeped through the thin cotton of her nurses uniform and seemed to worm it's way inside of her to curl up low in her belly. Dangerous. Sakura wanted to turn around and lay him flat with a chakra laden punch, but something told her he'd like that. Like, really like it.

"I really wasn't that impressed the first time," Sakura said dryly, doing her utmost to ignore him instead. He paused against her, and the kunoichi could feel the growl working its way from his throat. He was way to close, Hidan's chakra and pure physical presence were suffocating. She needed to find a way to diffuse this entire situation, and quickly before --

Forget diffusing. A bomb went off in Sakura's head at Hidan's next words.

"I wanna fuck you right here." He breathed. His words were hot and ticklish against her neck, and did sinful, sinful things to her elsewhere.

Sakura looked over her shoulder at him, green eyes dark and her voice low and accusing (she didn't want him to think she was considering it because she wasn't. Really. Honest.).

"You're a freak."

Hidan hardly look offended. He certainly didn't pull away in anger, like she had hoped. Instead, he winked saucily and dipped his head, nipping her shoulder.

"You have no fucking idea, seriously," He growled, his hands now on her hips.

"You're such a pig," Sakura gasped as he laughed, his fingers slipped under her skirt to brush along the inside of her thigh. Her cheeks flushed and she glared up at him, finally reaching up to press her hands against his chest, fully intending to shove him away and give him a piece of her goddamn mind.

Her hands met warm, unyielding flesh and she paused, feeling the shinobi's hands tense at her waist. She looked up at him, seeing the smirk gone from his face and a determined look in his eyes. His brow furrowed as she pushed half-heartedly against his shoulder.

There was no power behind it and Hidan's purple eyes were hooded as he gazed down at her knowingly.

"You're really not going to leave me alone, are you?" Sakura asked, gazing up at him, her lips set in a grim, serious line.

Hidan smirked, baring his teeth in a menacing smile. "Fuck no," he growled in reply. The medic nin eyed him warily. She knew his game. He had spent weeks wearing down her resistance, and today, Sakura just didn't feel like fighting him off. He might be a foul-mouthed, homicidal jerkface, but dammit he was sexy as all hell!

"Fine," Sakura sighed, rolling her eyes heavenward in a show of mock annoyance.

Grinning triumphantly, Hidan grabbed her hips and hoisted her up onto the exam table, his hands everywhere at once, hardly giving her a moment to catch her breath.

"Is that lace?" Hidan growled in her ear, fingers sliding over her panties.

Sakura arched, her hands slowly sliding down his abs, her green eyes slightly glazed as she looked up at him from under dark lashes.

"Yes," She whispered, licking her lips.

"Fuck, Sakura," He groaned, leaning down and fiercely pressing his lips to hers. The medic nin whimpered, reaching up and ran her fingers through his hair before roughly tugging at the strands. Hidan grunted in surprise, pulling back for a moment to stare at her.

Sakura smirked, her emerald eyes challenging as she suddenly raked her nails down his back hard enough to draw blood. Hidan groaned lustily and shoved her back against the table, his mouth devouring hers, hungry, dominating.

The pink-haired kunoichi squirmed, wrapping her legs around his hips, both of them groaning as he ground his hips against hers. Suddenly, his teeth were at her neck, nipping and kissing, and Sakura was desperately tugging at the drawstring of his sweatpants while he was snarling and slipping his fingers into the waistband of her panties.

"Next time I'm gonna use my fucking teeth to get these off of you, seriously." He growled, his words making Sakura dizzy.

She kissed him, if only to stop that foul mouth of his.

He really liked her hair, twirling the soft strands around his fingers, and then watching them unwind as he let them go. Sakura closed her eyes, feeling lazy and enjoying the quiet between them.

"Pink is for fucking sissies, seriously." Like glass shattering, Hidan's raucous voice broke the silence.

Sakura frowned, cocking an eyebrow up at the white-haired shinobi.

"My, has anyone ever told you that you have the sweetest pillow talk, Hidan?"

He smirked devilishly down at her, tugging gently at her hair.

"Next time you should come to my place. There's an actual bed, seriously."

Sakura eyed their rumpled clothing on the floor. He still wanted a "next time"? Instead of annoying her (like it should), she found the thought to be... well... nice. She smiled at the Akatsuki.

"Oh, but we medic nins like it in lab. Sterile is so sexy..." She teased.

Hidan stared down at her, blinking. "You're a freak." He grinned, resting his chin in one hand as his eyes roamed hungrily over her. "I fuckin' love it, seriously!"

Sakura smiled and rolled her eyes, pushing him off of her.

"Get up – and give me my panties. I have other patients to see today."

Hidan loomed – pressing her back down once again against the frigid examination table.

"I'll come pick you up after work. You're fuckin' coming over tonight, seriously." He kissed her breathless, brooking no argument.

Sakura blinked dazedly as Hidan pulled away and practically skipped out the door.

With her panties

Blushing furiously, Sakura hopped down from the table and pulled her white skirt down quickly, seeing red.

"Hidan! I'll kill you, you jerk!" She howled.

Obviously, Hidan likes it rough. I bet he can't wait until later, when Sakura'll really beat the ever-loving shit out of him.

If you want to see more (and by adding this story to your favorites or alerts, I'm assuming you DO) then please give me the fuel I need to write and leave a review!