Of Geniuses and Percents
She had been stuck there for well over a year, and although she'd deny it profusely, Sakura Haruno had fallen for the detective. A certain sugar obsessed, genius detective. And oh, had she fallen hard. In fact, every time L's gaze lingered on her for more than a few seconds she grew a blush that could put Hinata to shame, as her Inner self had once said.
And now she was stuck with him, every day, while they tried to catch a murderer, a certain 'Kira'. She had equal parts love and hate for being stuck with him every day – love, because he was there and she got to see him, watch him, look at him; hate because she was stuck with him, and things got awkward.
'Look, we both know that you're in love with him – hell, I'm in love with him too, because technically we're the same person – but it's time that you just told him that you like him. How much longer are you going to let this awkwardness go on? Until we catch Kira? Sakura, you have to realize that every day with him could be your last – you never know what will happen! What if he gets hit by a bus, walking to the store, or what if he chokes on a piece of cake? Or, god forbid, what if Kira gets him? Really, girl, suck it up and tell him how you feel.'
Sakura huffed angrily, her irritation at her Inner's words quite visible. 'Don't suggest such a thing. There's no way that he can die – he's L, for god's sake. I think it's impossible for him to die.'
Her Inner sighed. 'Pein thought the same thing, remember? And you know full well what happened to him. He's dead and nothing can change that. Everyone thought he was immortal until Naruto killed him...so don't think that L is immortal either.' Sakura sighed, frustrated. 'Look, I'm done with arguing with you, okay? L can't die, so shut up about it. I mean, how the hell would Kira-'
"Sakura? Did you hear what I just said?" Her train of thought jerked to a halt as she blinked, her mind coming back to the normal world. "Uh...what?" She asked stupidly, and then she realized that while she had been arguing with her Inner, L had been talking. And it was obvious that he had asked her a question and she was zoned out.
"Oh...uh, er...sorry, could you repeat that?...Sorry..." L sighed patiently and repeated the question. "I was asking what you could deduce from these new facts on Kira. Yagami-kun gave me his ideas but I wanted to hear your insight as well. You have a good intuition for these sorts of things." She flushed, pleased with his compliment but never willing to admit it, and her Inner laughed and reminded her that when she blushed, people could see it.
"Um, well...can you repeat the facts? I wasn't really listening, sorry..." L was staring intently at her and that only made her blush harder – she could feel the heat rushing to her cheeks. "Uh, is there, um, something on my face?" She spluttered, embarrassed. L cocked his head slightly and then said, "There is a twenty percent chance that the color on your cheeks is due to illness, thirteen percent that it's due to makeup, and a sixty-seven percent chance that you have feelings for someone in this room." She flushed harder, choking on the air that she was breathing.
"What – what – what are you saying?" Sakura spluttered, feeling her face burn. L was silent for a moment before he announced, "There is a ninety-seven percent chance that it's Yagami-kun." Sakura stared at him for a moment. "WHAT?!" She shrieked, while the rest of the Special Task force looked on at the unfolding scene and laughed. "Ugh, how could I like him?! I'm not into little kids!" She shouted, her defense making her yell.
Light started up angrily. "I'm not a kid, you idiot!" Sakura paused and glanced over at him, her face furrowing in confusion. "What?" Light sighed with frustration. "I'm not a kid. I'm the same age as you are – seventeen." Sakura's jaw dropped open before she hastily closed it, and she asked, "When the hell did this happen? I thought you were like, fourteen or something! I mean, you're so much shorter than I am!" Light stared at her like she was crazy.
"What are you talking about? I'm taller than you are." Sakura paused, her head cocking slightly to the side. "Really?" Light sighed. "Yes. Come stand next to me. You're shorter." She did as he had asked and stood next to him, and true to his word, she was indeed shorter than Light Yagami. "I never noticed that you were taller," she said mildly, and he groaned. "How do you not notice something like that?" She paused and then stopped.
"I'm used to hanging around my boys, and they're shorter than I am....oh shit, wait, they're probably taller than I am! They've been lying to me this whole time! How could this have happened?!" Light, along with the rest of the Task Force, stared at her. "How does someone lie to you about height?"
Sakura shrugged, but murder burned in her eyes. "They're so gonna die when I get back. Damn little blond, always telling me how tall I am... I don't wanna be short!" She sniffled, and the whole group – L, Light and all – looked at her and shook their heads, every one of them thinking the same thing: Women really are from a different planet. L spoke up again as soon as she had stopped sniffling in self-pity.
"Because your affections aren't for Yagami-kun, that means that there's a forty-eight percent chance that it's Matsuda." Sakura stared at him, her jaw open, while Matsuda giggled, a sound that no grown man should ever make. "No, it's not him," she managed, slapping a hand to her face in exasperation, and watching as his shoulders drooped in disappointment.
"...Is it Mogi?" L asked, and Sakura shook her head vigorously. "Since when did this become a game?" She asked sourly, but L continued on anyways. "I'll assume that's a no...Aizawa?" He guessed again, and Sakura did a heebie-jeebie dance, shaking her head hard. "No, no, no, sorry Aizawa, but no..."
L kept going. "Soichiro?" Sakura stared at him, twitching, while the senior Yagami let out a word of protest. "He's married, you idiot. That'd be so wrong." L paused for a moment. "But that doesn't mean you can't like him." Sakura shrieked, glaring at him. "I think I just threw up in my mouth....ugh, no! Idiot!" L paused, a pouting expression coming over his face.
"I've never been called an idiot before," He mused.
"....Watari?" It took Sakura a moment before she realized why he was saying his name; and then she literally screamed, covering her face with her hands. Watari spoke up from his corner of the room, shaking his head slowly. "Oh dear. I certainly hope not." Sakura pointed accusingly at L. "Why do you keep whoring me out to the older guys?" She wailed, shaking her head.
"I don't like any of them! I like you, you moron!" And with that she burst into tears and rushed out of the room, slamming the door behind her. L was silent before he said, "I've never been called a moron either." All of the other Special Task Force members just stared, wondering how someone so smart could be so stupid at the same time.
There was silence before L said, "Wait, she likes...me?"
And he very promptly tipped over and fell off his chair in shock.
A.N: Hello readers! DON'T ASK US WHY WE'RE WRITING THIS PAIRING OKAY? It was all Kitsunegirl1's idea. She goes through these weird (really weird) phases of liking certain pairing, and for some reason her deranged mind decided to like LxSakura. GO FIGURE. Anyways this was fun to write...a bit of crack to lighten up your day. Considering that we're trying to write more serious stuff, and then we turn around and write this. Oh yeah! Good idea! ...I'm rambling now aren't I?
Anyways, hope you enjoyed the fic - read and review OR ELSE ^.^