Yooo, everybody!!

Alrighty, so I got this idea for a fic a while back and I wanted to finish the whole thing before I put it up but I'm in a bit of a dilemma...cuz I've run out of scenariors and I wanted to ask readers for help. Might as well get all the info out of the way, first, yo:

Summary: Following an unfortunate accident while cleaning out one of Komui's old research department rooms, Lavi gets turned into a kid and Kanda's the one stuck looking after him.

Setting: post-war and nobody has a job anymore (and I have no idea how they pay for their stuff, though the Church does provide em with a place to live an eat an all, which is why this story is bordering on crack XD but I am trying to maintain a plot even though it doesn't seem like it)

Oh, and since I'm not a fan of yaoi and a huge fan of LK friendship (since there isn't enough of that around here, huh!) there is no shounen-ai in this :)

Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-man, as you all know, yo

So, without further ado, I bring to you, Childhood! (oh, and the name's gonna change too cuz it really isn't relevent to the story...at all...so, I'm up for suggestions)


As a "favour" for Komui, the two of them (the only ones available on hand) had been told to dispose of all the storage in one of the old research department rooms.

"Tch, that Komui is so annoying." Kanda hissed under his breath as he lifted up a tower of small boxes and carefully manoeuvred through the maze of stock so he could set his load down in the corridor outside the room.

"Yeah, I can't believe this," Lavi whined, "I was thinkin of spendin all day lazin around and Komui went an spoiled it for me."

Kanda snorted as he piled up more boxes. "That's what you get for slacking off."

"Hey!" Lavi exclaimed, sounding offended. "I've not had a decent break in days! I'm tired, ya know!"

"Whatever." Kanda scoffed. "You just don't like to work."

"I do too!" Lavi argued. "I work all day every day! It's not too bad to want a day off, right?"

The Japanese man quirked a dark eyebrow, "you work all day every day? What manner of dishonesty is that?"

"It's not a lie!"

"Yes, it is. If it weren't, you wouldn't be bothering me all the time."

"But I have ta spare some time for my friends too, right? Otherwise I'll grow up an become like Gramps…" Lavi trailed off at the mention of the old Bookman and resumed the task he'd been doing with fervour.

Kanda gazed across at his friend and sighed. "How many times am I gonna have to say this? If it hurts you so much, why don't you try contacting him, idiot?"

The redhead shook his head without looking up. "He made it clear when he left that he wanted nothing more to do with me."

"Screw that. He meant a lot to you, didn't he? If it bothers you so much, you should get in touch with him."

"I can't!" There was sudden anger in Lavi's voice as he replied. He roughly grabbed a box and swung around to face the door. "That's all in the paAAAAAAH…!" Having moved without looking where he was going, he crashed into a pile of boxes and fell with a loud thump. The box in his hands was sent flying into the air and then dropped back down to alight upon his head.

Something in the box spilled and Lavi gave another muffled cry as smoke swirled upwards. Kanda rushed over. "Oi, are you okay?" He swatted at the smoke to see what was going on. Lavi was soundless. Knowing how…questionable Komui's experiments tended to be, the swordsman was beginning to get a little concerned. But, the smoke soon cleared…and Kanda gaped at what he saw.

Sitting up on his knees and looking around the room, in clothes that were much, much too big, was a little child. He could be no more than four years old. And this child had Lavi's red hair and one green eye. The eye patch looked like it was barely staying over his other and his favourite blue-green and black bandanna had slid halfway down his head.

"L-Lavi…?" Kanda stuttered.

The little boy looked up at Kanda and blinked a few times.

Maybe this is like that time we got turned into kids? Kanda thought, recalling the incident in the old HQ when everyone had lost their minds due to some trifling ghost or something. "Oi, Lavi, say something," he ordered.

But the boy kept looking up at him, his big green eye unblinking. And then a slow smile spread across his lips and he rose to his feet and lunged at Kanda. "Papa!"

"EH?!" Kanda exclaimed. He made to back away but remembered in time that if he did something so thoughtlessly, he'd end up like his friend too…perhaps even worse. Little Lavi latched onto Kanda's leg and looked up at the man happily.

"Pick up!" He cried, holding his arms up.

S-So he's…really…a kid? What the hell would posses someone to try an experiment on something so useless like this?! The swordsman thought, outraged. "I'm not picking you up! You walk! And we're goin down to Komui's office to fix this right now!" He glared down at the little boy.

Lavi's green eye started to fill with tears. "P-pick…up…?" He asked weakly, still holding his arms up.

Kanda didn't know what to do. He'd never been good with kids. But if the boy started to bawl, then it would just get on Kanda's nerves and he might do something he'd later regret. And the kid in question was his close friend; he couldn't just go berserk on him, could he?

So I have to pick him up? The dark-haired man thought with something akin to dread. No way!

"Papa!" little Lavi cried out again, still leaking tears.

"I'm not your papa!" Kanda snapped.

The waterworks went up a notch at the harsh tone. "Ah…! Sh-Shit!" Kanda cursed, inwardly cringing as the child started to sob loudly. To make amends, he held his arms out and the little boy gladly jumped forward.

Kanda awkwardly lifted him up and blanched when the pants and boxers were left on the ground. He looked at the boy with a pained expression. "Y-You're…" he stammered. He wanted to say "not wearing any underpants" but he just couldn't force the words out. He'd die of embarrassment. How humiliating! What if he got peed on?!

"KOMUIIIIIIIIIIII…!" And he bolted out of the room, still clutching the infant at arm's length, knocking over piles of boxes but somehow avoiding falling over any in his haste to get away.


"Ah, I remember this potion!" Komui said brightly as Kanda finished explaining what had happened.

He'd put Lavi down on the paper-strew floor and, much to his relief, the redhead hadn't started bawling to be picked up again. Instead, he was gathering up masses of paper and was making confetti out of them. Komui didn't seem bothered at all.

"This was years back. Section Chief Reever and I were looking into age reversal and I came up with the idea to mentally and physically alter a person so that they appeared younger than they really were. It was to help out the more…older Exorcists."

"Like who…and how?" Kanda asked dryly. "Since you've been here, there's never been any Exorcists who've been incapacitated by old age and what use is anybody if their mentality reverts back to how they were at the age that they appear?"

Komui smiled. "That is true, but we were thinking about the future. We didn't know how long the war would last, did we?" His eyes took on a strange gleam. "And besides, we scientists must seize every opportunity we get to delve into the infinite possibilities of this world!" He even pumped a fist enthusiastically into the air.

Kanda snarled. "That's it, isn't it? You just wanted to mess around with things that you should have left well alone. You make me sick."

Komui looked offended. "How dare you insult a scientist?!" his hands clapped down on the hard surface of his desk as he stood up. "It was for the good of the whole world that we scientists did what we did!"

"It was all useless anyway." Kanda snorted. "Is there a way to reverse this?"

Komui grinned, his anger abruptly forgotten. "Nope. Once the liquid gets in contact with bare skin, it starts to alter the body and mind as quickly as possible and the individual will stay in that state for up to around two weeks."

"Two weeks?!" Kanda exclaimed. He looked down at the happy little boy, still throwing tiny pieces of paper into the air as if it were snow.

"Yup!"

"So who's gonna take care of him?!"

Komui's grin widened. "You, of course.

"What?!" Kanda snapped. "Me?! No way!"

"Yes, way." the Supervisor sighed. "This potion was made so that the person who was affected by it would immediately trust in the person they saw first."

"What? That's crazy. Why?" Kanda demanded.

Komui walked around his desk and stopped before Lavi. "It's just one of the weird side-effects, and it only happens if the person who used the potion was already quite young and got reverted to an age where they're still developing. Regardless of how Lavi was actually like when he was at the age of three, the first person he saw now was you so he'll not want to stick by anybody else." The boy looked up in puzzlement. Komui held a hand out and Lavi immediately scooted over and hid behind Kanda's leg.

Kanda gritted his teeth, his annoyance displayed clearly on his face. There was no way he was going to look after a little kid for two weeks! No way! He wasn't a goddamn babysitter! "I. Will. Not. Do. This." he ground out.

Komui sighed again and stood up. "Well, the choice is yours. But he probably won't let anyone else near, which means he'll be without a carer and he won't be able to look after himself. If you care anything for your friend, you'll take him in. It's only for two weeks."

Kanda looked down at the little boy, who had now emerged from behind the swordsman's leg and was resuming his making of paper snow, casting wary glances at the Supervisor as he did so. "Two weeks is a long time."

"Oh, don't worry!" Komui said with his usual careless grin. "I'm sure you'll have a blast. You might just discover you make a good dad."

"You're taking the piss, aren't you?" Kanda glared at the older man. "I'll kill you."

"Now, now, Kanda, there's a child in the room. Don't want him picking up your bad habits, do you?" Komui laughed. Kanda's glare intensified.

"Well, whatever," he finally said as he turned on his heel and walked out the door, "Lavi, move it."

"Ok, papa!" The boy abandoned his task and caught up to the man, clutching the material of his pants with one chubby hand. The door closed shut behind them.

"I'm not your papa!" Kanda snapped. Lavi's head turned to the floor as his eye watered and the little fist holding onto Kanda's pant leg tightened. Kanda groaned inwardly and bent down so that his head was level with the boy's. He tried to find the best way to get the kid to stop crying. "Um…Sorry…But don't call me papa, ok?"

Rubbing at his eye with his fist, the little boy frowned. "So…what should Lavi call papa?"

Kanda had to struggle not to let his irritation show. "I'm. Not. Your. Father. Just call me Kanda." I bet old Bookman would know what to do in this situation, he thought. He could have done with the old man's help; he knew next to nothing about looking after a baby. But at least he'd decided that he wasn't going to be leaving his friend alone to fend for himself. He wasn't that heartless.

"Kanda…?" Lavi mumbled. After mulling it over for a second or two, he smiled. "Ok, Kanda-papa!"

Kanda groaned as he smacked his palm to his forehead. "Just Kanda! No papa!"

"Kanda-papa!"

"No! Just Kanda, you stupid little runt!"

"B-but…" Lavi's eye watered again at the insult.

Kanda groaned once more and stood up. "Come on, let's go find you better clothes."

The oversized shirt was barely staying on the boy's tiny shoulders. The dark-haired man wondered where to get the appropriate garments from and realised he had no idea. There certainly wouldn't be any in HQ so he'd have to go out and buy some. "Tch, so troublesome." He decided to enlist the help of a certain female Exorcist.


Once I start writing at a steady pace, the chapters will be longer...I hope. Anyway, sorry for any OOCness but...I reckon it's all explained in later chapters ^_^ hope you enjoyed it