I just didn't get it. Everything that everyone said was nasty. One day, when I was making fun of the things Bella said, Rose gave me a new rule.
"Emmett, If you say anything even kind of provocative or nasty, You will not get any for a month," She laughed evilly. I DID NOT want to go a whole month without some Rose. That would kill me.
~A Month Later~
"But it's broken, Rose. . ." I said. Rose wanted me to vacuum the bedroom, but I couldn't because of the vacuum cleaner was messed up.
"BROKEN, MY ASS! It's not broken; You just want to--" She stopped because I was rolled in a ball on the floor, laughing. "What are you laughing about? You think getting in trouble is funny?" She emphasized 'funny', making me wince a little.
"You said 'Broken, my ass'. Get it? Broke-In My ass? Muhahaha," My laughter boom throughout the house.
"That's it. None for you for a month!" She grimaced, knowing it would hurt her too.
"I didn't do anything. . . ."
~After 29 Days Without Any Rose~
I spent my days curled in a ball, rocking myself back and forth. I was used to some Rose about six times a week; Willing myself to stay alive, I was forced to. . .well. . . service myself. Rose caught me once and just kind of. . . ignored it.
Later that day, I asked her when I was getting some-- as I did every day now-- and begged her to loosen up my sentence. Finally after ignoring my questions for four hours, she spoke.
"Why do you have to make everything so hard for me? It is hard to ignore your sexy-ness, but you deserve everything you are getting. I don't understand-- Why are you laughing?" She narrowed her eyes.
"You said I make things hard for you! Shouldn't it be the other way around. . . ?" I laughed, my eyes bulging.
"That's it, another month for you." She walked away.
"Would you rather say difficult?" I asked innocently.
"I will; Just don't make a joke out of everything.
~Three Days Later~
"You think your sentence is too long, Emmett?" Edward smirked, turning towards Bella to kiss her.
"Bahahaha! Too Long? You know it. Eight inches, last time I checked," I said smugly.
"Oh Roooooossssseeeee!" Bella yelled.
Rose appeared within a second. "Yes?"
"Emmett, tell her what you said," Edward demanded.
I hung my head and told her. Edward and Bella left the room, sensing a fight coming on.
"HA! Eight? More like four," Rose challenged.
"And you're a D cup? More like
B," I spat.
"Do you want any? Ever? Because I have an eternity to tease you," She sneered, taking off her shirt, revealing a lace bra and her perfect stomach. My inner man told me to pounce on her, but my anger over-powered him.
"Listen. . . you can make me difficult all the time if you want, but--"
"I can make you difficult? What?!?!?"
"You told me I wasn't allowed to say hard. . . ." I looked at her sadly.
"Oh Lord. . . ." She kissed me and gave me some. Muhahaha