II. Broken Pieces
I never lost anything before I met you.
I never realized I had lost something until you came along.
I lost my heart the day I met you, and I don't think that I'll ever get it back.
If I could start over again, I don't think I would. There is nothing I could do that would change the way you feel about me. Even if you didn't have your perfect boyfriend, you still wouldn't love me. It's just too much to ask for.
I put all I had into getting you: my heart, my soul, my life, my everything. I gave you everything, but you still wouldn't have me.
I don't know what I did wrong: I know that I love you and I tried to show you that, but you wouldn't listen.
It didn't start out like that, y'know. At first, you were just there. I thought you were cute, the way you pranced around, your hair swinging around your head. You were even cuter up close and you have the softest lips that I have ever kissed.
Did I ever tell you that I gave you my first kiss?
And then, suddenly, everything changed. Everything was different. You changed, practically overnight, from being that cute girl I was supposed to fight against to the person that I would die for.
I did die for you, too. And even then you still didn't love me. You cried for me, but you didn't love me. I thought that you would realize, realize that I would do anything for you, but I was wrong.
I lost my heart, my life, my dignity and you still didn't love me.
You still thought it was a joke, but, Ichigo, how could I joke about love? How could I when love means so much?
Bet you never knew I was a hopeless romantic at heart.
Ichigo, why wouldn't you see? Why was it so hard to notice that I love you?
Was it Masaya? Was it him? Was he the reason that you never looked me over twice, never once bothered to give me a chance?
Or was it something else?
Was it that I was too harsh, too passionate, too... Sincere?
I don't think it was because I was the enemy.
Then again, you always had strong morals.
You were always so keen to hate me, to watch me leave you alone. At times it sometimes seemed like your favorite activity: see how much I can take before I break, before I...
Before I lost to you.
I lost all that I had when it came to you, one of which being my sanity. You drove me gradually insane, so much that I began to wonder how I had lived without knowing you.
Even though everything slipped away in the end, I will never regretting meeting you. I will never regret stealing kisses, even when you screamed at me and told me to go away, because I felt alive. Every time I saw you there was that glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, you could love me back and we could be together.
I don't think I can ever regret being with you.
But every once in a while, I wish that I had never met you. If I had never met you, I wouldn't be screaming at the top of my lungs, "It's not fair! I found love: I found you! I love you and you don't love me!"
You broke my heart into a million pieces, and I still love you! I still love you even though you destroyed me. Even though you rejected me time after time... I can't let go of you.
I've tried, believe me, I have. I've tried everything, but it all leads back to you.
But even then, and I can't explain it, I would do it all again. I would loose everything for you, right now, if I was just given the chance to see your face again.
Just to be with you because enough is never enough.
I would give it all up again, but would you take me then, Ichigo?
No, I don't think so. I don't think if I even looked "normal" to you that you would even look at me. You would never give me a chance even then.
Maybe we didn't have any potential. Maybe that was the reason.
But if you asked me, we had the best potential in the world.
It doesn't matter anymore, really, debating on the matter. I mean, I'm gone. I haven't seen you in so long, but I would still keep coming back for more.
So one last question: is it really over? Is everything really done? Or was it just beginning?
It doesn't matter how far away I am from you or the fact that so many years have past since I last saw you. You would still always be gorgeous to me since we first met.
If we met each other again, would you even give me a chance now? Or even then, would it be too late?
Even if you wanted to be with me, would it even work out? Would it even be accepted?
I want to be with you, and I can't.
But even so, it's a fact that I still love you and I will always do so.
It doesn't matter the space between us or your attitude towards me. It doesn't matter that you never loved me or that you never once kissed me back.
I will always love you.
And I know that I'll never be able to hold you again, or kiss you again, and it kills me. It kills me because I want to so badly and you don't want me.
Now no one can pick up and put together the pieces anymore. Only you could, Ichigo, and you would never want to: never did, never do, never will.
Hi again! :] So... second part is posted.
Many, many thanks to FallingAngel27!!! Your reviews mean the world to me, and I'm not lying when I say they make my day. This person is the reason this came up so quickly... Great motivator! :]
If anyone is thinking about the title and its significance... The "Shattered Fragments" is for Ichigo because she still has her life together (fragments are sections of something), but it's "shattered" because it isn't the same since he left. As for Kish, the "Broken Pieces" are because there are chunks of his life but he think that they everything is beyond repair to be fixed. The whole idea came around when I was thinking late at night about certain things, and the phrases just sort of came to be.
So, everyone, let me know what you think! I'm thinking about writing another part about this, not quite sure yet how, so tell me if it's a yes or a no go. For now, this is complete!
Thanks for reading and many thanks to everyone who reviews!