This is what happens when you're waiting for the beta'd version of a chapter to come back so you can make the final adjustments and post the chapter. (Yes for those of you reading about Kacey, I'm talking about chapter 69!)
Totally cracked not really related to anything. Movieverse, takes place after the first Transformers live action movie. Optimus and Ironhide just having a chat about their mojo.
Do We Still Have Our Mojo?
Ironhide stomped noisily out to the overlook where Optimus stood. The Autobot leader always appeared regal, elegant when still. Ironhide knew better. He knew that in a moment's notice his young friend could spring into action with savage brute force, much like himself, and ripped the head of a Decepticon in two. Although Hide preferred to just blow things up with his cannons. Much easier on the gears and less dents in the armor.
"What brings you out here? Ratchet didn't send you to sparkling sit me again, did he?"
"No," Hide sighed.
"Then what is troubling you my friend?" Optimus asked in earnest when he noticed the long look on Ironhide's face plates.
"I was talking with Lennox before he went out on a date with his wife. He commented about getting his mojo back now that the baby was sleeping in her own room."
"The dog?" Optimus asked, puzzled.
"No, not the rodent. Mojo as in a person's groove or sexual attraction."
"Ah and you were wondering if you still had your…mojo?"
"Exactly! It's been so long since…well since either of us have been with our femmes. Do you think Chromia would still be attracted to me?"
"Ironhide, Chromia is the most weapons crazed mechanism I've ever known, next to you. To this date I have never come across another couple who have actually interfaced during the heat of a battle…while I was laying cover fire! You two are perfect for each other…a match made my Primus himself. You were meant for each other. Trust me, you don't lose your mojo with a femme like her."
"Even with my new armor?"
"It's not your armor she'll be looking at when she arrives," Optimus snorted, his gaze returning to the twinkling stars above.
"What about you and Elita? Do you think she'll fall for your flames the way the human females seem to?"
"Elita and I are like you and Chromia, only not as crazy. We're meant for each other. It doesn't matter how I look in my new armor. She'll love me for the mech I am...mojo or no mojo…we love each other deeply."
"I suppose you're right," Ironhide grinned, rolling his shoulder. "Thank you Optimus. I feel much better now."
"Glad to help my friend," he smiled, patting Hide on the shoulder.
Ironhide nodded then turned to walk away.
"So…Hide…" Optimus called, making the mech turn back around. "How does my aft look?"
"Elita always had a thing for my aft. I'm worried about how it looks with my new armor and I can't exactly find a mirror my size to look into without drawing attention to myself."
"It's kind of dark…oh…turn this way so the moonlight hits it," Ironhide suggested, grabbing Optimus by the shoulders and rotating him around slightly.
"Bend over a little and stick it out so I can get a good look."
Optimus did as Ironhide said and waited for his trusted friend to critique his armored aft.
Ironhide swung his large foot as hard as he could and kicked Optimus' aft and sending his young friend sprawling to the ground.
"Looks fine to me!" Ironhide said and quickly walked away, snickering. "I've been waiting decades to do that!"