Everybody knows that Mitsukuni Haninozuka loves sweet things. He likes cake, and chocolate, and strawberries, and ice-cream; he likes biscuits and sugary tea and hot chocolate so thick with cream and sugar the spoon practically stands up on its own; he likes candy-bars and gum and mints, gumdrops and sherbet lemons and jellybeans in every entirely unnatural flavour and/or colouring known to mankind – well, you get the idea. Honey-sempai just loves sweet things. Sweet things make him so happy. Everybody knows that.

Everybody knows a lot about Honey, in fact. Everybody knows that he's actually in third year, actually eighteen years old, although he's just so adorable it's hard to believe. Everybody knows that his best friend in the world is Takashi Morinozuka, who looks after him just like the little kid he looks like. Everybody knows that he's member of the Host Club, and all the girls just love to look after him, because with a cute little face like that – well, you just have to look after him.

Everybody knows that Honey is just so sweet, and so adorable, and so utterly cute that sometimes you just have to give him a big hug. Of course, in order to do that, you also have to spend a little time with him, and maybe feed him some (very, very expensive) cakes, and have a little tea with him. Because that makes him so happy, you know? And maybe, if you're just nice enough, and you're just pretty enough, and you feed him enough cake – because everyone knows Honey loves cake - he'll do that heart-wrenchingly adorable smile, with the big, innocent honey-toffee-coloured eyes and the little hands hugging Usa-chan to him, and that makes you feel so happy, because Honey is happy.

And then, when your time is up (and it just flies by, doesn't it, and I'm so sorry, miss, but Honey does have other appointments this afternoon, and never mind, we'll be seeing you again tomorrow, won't we, hmm? Because that would make Honey so happy) you settle your – well, bill just sounds so common, doesn't it? Let's just call it your account – with Kyoya-sempai, and you leave. And tomorrow, you come back again; because how can anyone possibly abandon Honey?

Every once in a while, when you're at home, you sometimes look at your bank statements, and realise that, well, you are spending rather a lot at the Host Club, and maybe you ought to cut back on your visits, just a little. Because, well, Honey wouldn't really mind that much if you only come once or twice a week, would he?

Would he?

No. Of course he wouldn't mind.

After all, there're loads of other girls who just love him. Not as much as you do, of course. But still, they'll look after him. Maybe... maybe they'll even do better at it than you do. Maybe he'll like one of them better than you. Maybe you'll turn up one day and he'll refuse to see you because he's busy with the other girl, who turns up every day, not just once or twice a week, and feeds him cake and sweet things and sweet words, and then you'll never get to see his face light up just for you again. No-one else will ever see that again, because he'll be too busy with the other girl to see anyone. And everyone'll be so angry with you. And then you won't have any friends, and you won't even have the comfort of seeing Honey, because he'll be busy with the other girl.

You sigh, and screw up the bank statement, and throw it across the room. Well, you don't really want those shoes. And your thoughts turn back to Honey, and you smile, and ignore that little niggling feeling at the back of your mind that somehow, somewhere, someone is laughing at you. Because that would be stupid.

Honey-sempai wouldn't do that to you.

Honey-sempai's too... too sweet to do something like that.

Everybody knows that.

A/N – Because we all know there's more to Honey than it looks like. You know he's evil, really. And, sigh, no, I do not own Ouran High School Host Club. If I did, would they be in Japan? No, they would be here, fanning me with giant palm-leaves whilst dressed as my Egyptian slave-boys. *Sighs dreamily* Mmm. Twin slaveboys. I never realised I was so perverted. *snaps back to sad, far-too-hot reality with no twin slaveboys* Anyway, thanks for reading and please review, it makes Paddy happy.