DISCLAIMER----I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING---CHARACHTERS BELONG TO STEPHANIE MEYERS
WILL CONTAIN LEMONS---YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!! DON'T LIKE/DON'T READ---ALL HUMAN---ENJOY!!!!!!!!
I was standing at the edge of the town's city limits. Having hitch hiked from the airport to give myself time to think. I hadn't stepped foot in this town for five years. The memories washed over me as I stood on the threshold. It was hell on my emotions. I had left this town in a hurry and had no plans to ever return. It had been the best time of my life up until that point. The day my world crashed at my feet. I would never forget the feeling of freedom I got as I packed my bag and crossed this imaginary line. It was enough to lift my spirit until now. Now I was back and I would have to face that drowning hell all over again. It occured to me as I stood , about to take that final step into my past , that I had been running for the past five years. I had never faced the problem , just buried it deep within myself. Well , here goes nothing.
As my foot touched the first bit of land that fell inside Forks , I felt my mind wandering back to the last time I had stepped foot here. It had been five long years ago. Up until that point , life was amazing. I had the best friends a girl could ever ask for. Alice , Rose , Emmett , Jasper , and Edward. Hell , it hurt to think their names. We had been friends since diapers. Never apart , always worshiped. Then in high school it all changed. Our group got a little closer. We began dating each other. That was what resulted in my fleeing. Rose and Emmett were a perfect match. As was Alice and Jasper. I wonder what happened with them after I left. No , I don't need to know.
Edward and I had been the last to start dating. Everyone swore we were a match made in heaven. Soul mates. That wasn't the case. We were polar opposites. I saw the truth , he was blind. I loved him , sure , but that's not always enough. We had dated up until we graduated. I knew that the time was coming when we would end. I made the decision. I took the first step. I could never have imagined the outcome. If I had , I would have gone back in time to change the whole thing. I do that in my dreams sometimes. If only it could really happen. That was the worst day of my life and now I had to come to terms with it.
The day I left I had no intention of ever returning. Fate had other plans. My father died , so here I am. Maybe I really needed this. I hadn't been in a relationship since and I needed to face my demons. Funny how that's what I call the best friends I ever had now. I found my way to Charlie's house. It stared down on me menacingly. This house held a lot of memories. The day my mother left and never looked back. The day I gave Edward my virginity. The day I packed up my life and never looked back. Until now. I gathered up my strength and unlocked the door to my past.
The house was the same as I remembered it. The living room held the same furniture. That weathered couch that I had spent countless hours on kissing Edward. The recliner that was Charlie's sanctuary. The flat screen that kept him in touch with Billy Black and his son , Jacob. Everything in this house held a memory. I just needed the strength to endure it. I slowly climbed the stairs to the one room that held the most memories. My room. This was where I had given a part of myself to Edward. A part that no one else could ever have.
The room hadn't changed either. Charlie had kept everything right where I left it the day I ran. Clothes I left behind were where I had thrown them. My bed was still unmade. It was a museum of my last moments in this room. It brought back every feeling I endured in that moment. I made my way to the bed and sat on the edge. Could I really handle this? I really didn't know , but I could always go home again. It would take a few weeks to settle Charlie's affairs then I would be free again. I just needed to hang on until then.
I felt sad about the way I had left Charlie. Just a note saying I couldn't handle it anymore and that was that. I was gone and he was alone. Obviously he held onto the hope that I would be back. He worked and ate and lived for that moment. Now it had come and he never got to see it. He was gone and I was here. He had been shot on duty. They couldn't fix the damage and he was dead. A part of me was angry at myself that I let my issues steal these years with him. He would understand though. I doubt he really knew though. No one , but the six of us there that day know the truth of what happened. I hope no one ever does.
I walk through the empty house the rest of the day. Reliving the ghosts of my past. I've dealt with enough for today. I make an easy dinner then pick at it. The emotional roller coaster has reeked havoc on my appetite. I head to bed after seven rolls around. I'll need my rest in the next few weeks. I stop in front of my door. Can I really sleep in that bed? No , I can't. I turn and make my way to Charlie's room. This is hard to , but I'll take the lesser of two evils. I fall asleep in minutes , the day wearing on me. The night is filled with dreams I haven't had in three years. Who knows what tomarrow will bring.
I know she's back in town. We all did. She hadn't been here in five years. Since the day she turned her back on us and ran. That day was the worst I ever had. Now I'll have to deal with her again. I don't know if I'm ready to. She walked out on us. Me more than the rest of them. Hell , I haven't talked to them much either. Alice was easier. She was my sister. I can't ignore my family. Even though she was partly responsible for Bella running , I can't hate her. She didn't force her to run. I don't see Jasper much. Not since he and Alice split. I never understood the whole reason why , but who cares.
At least Emmett and Rose are still together. They made it last. They were married last year after they both graduated college. I still have a ways to go. Medical school takes a while. They both plan to open a garage in the fall. I'm actually happy that they have found their happiness. Alice wants to open a boutique. That girl and her fashion. Jasper is , well Jasper. He graduated a history major , but spends his time lost in music. He'd starve if he didn't have a hefty inheritance.
Now Bella's back. It's forced me to think about that day again. The pain of that day took a long time to deal with. I'm still not completely through it. She left me then she left town. It wouldn't have been so bad if Alice hadn't ganged up on her with Rose. They were taking my side , but that doesn't make it right. Sure she was telling me that we were over , but she wasn't being cruel about it. Rose and Alice were malicious with their defense of me. Then Charlie shows up at ten o'clock that night screaming ' where is she? ' We had no clue what he was talking about. Then he laid it all out for us. I remember it like it was yesterday.
We were all sitting around watching a movie. We figured that after she cooled down , Bella would be back around. When the doorbell rang , I thought she had come to her senses. I took my time answering. I figured she deserved it a little. Then the pounding on the door made me speed up. It was almost frantic. I threw open the door , about to make a rude comment to her about impatience when I found Charlie standing there. I immediately thought he was gonna kick my ass for upsetting her , even though she broke up with me.
"Where the HELL is she?" he asked angrily.
"What are you talking about?" I asked him.
"Bella. Where did she go? I know she told you!" he screamed at me. His face was changing colors slightly.
"What do you mean? I haven't seen her since she broke up with me and ran out the door." I told him honestly. He immediately changed from red to white. It scared me. I reached for him in case he fell over. He took a forceful step back , returning to the angry red.
"Then it's your fault she's gone." he said as he looked at me.
"What do you mean she's gone? She's probably angry and waiting to cool off before she comes home." I tried to reason with him.
"No. She left. As in she left town. She left this on the table." he said as he thrust the note in my hand. There it was in black and white. Her last words to him so he wouldn't think she was dead.
That was the last anyone heard from her. Charlie never spoke another word to me. He always looked for her though. He never found a thing as far as I know. Alice had felt bad , but that was the extent of it. After a while she seemed to forget her. I never could. I'd lay awake at night and wonder if she was still alive. Jasper was never the same towards me after that day. It may have contributed to the end of his relationship with Alice. Emmett took a long time to come around. We still aren't exactly the same , but we're better than me and Jasper. Rose showed her true colors. She had never really liked Bella. I wonder how they'll deal with her being back. Me. Well , I still love her. I know I have a lot of shit to apologize for. Shit that they don't even know about. Sometimes I felt bad when they would talk about it. They didn't know about the other girl , but I couldn't bring myself to tell them that she was justified in ending it with me. Hell , she didn't even know about her. Things just got so out of control that day. Now I have a chance to make it up to her. I really want to.
I can't believe that after all this time she's back. After that day I assume she hates us all. Even if I didn't play a part in it , I'm still to blame. I didn't stand up for her. I haven't even been able to be around Edward anymore. Alice...well Alice was a lost cause. I couldn't be with her after what she did that day. Yelling at her was bad enough. Then she had to hit her. It was the godfather of all punches. None of us even helped Bella. We just watched her turn and walk away from us. It was three months after she left when I had had enough of the shit coming out of Alice's mouth about her. She really didn't care that her best friend of years could be dead. I had to end it.
The years after she left I always thought about her. Wondered if she was alright. Edward was a real dick. Then Charlie was killed and I knew that if she was alive , she'd have to come back. Now she was here. I had thought about what I would say to her if she ever returned and now I would have to put it to good use. That's if she lets me. I wouldn't blame her if she never even looked at any of us. I just want to tell her how sorry I am that I never helped her. It was never any of our business , but Alice and Rose had to step in. Emmett and I could only look on in shock as Alice hit her. Sometimes I don't know how I ever loved her or how Rose and I could ever be related. She had laughed right in her face when Alice decked her. I just hope she'll hear me out.
I can't believe she had the nerve to come back. After all these years. She doesn't deserve to come back and disrupt our lives. She ran and she should have stayed gone. I felt bad the first few months , but then I would think of what she had done to my brother. That pissed me off more and more. Finally we just stopped talking about her. The last time she was mentioned was when I was arguing with Jasper. He wondered if she was alive and I was so pissed I told him I didn't care. That was the last day we were together. We all went off to college and returned different people.
The thing that pisses me off even more is I can see how much my brother still cares for her. If I see her I won't hesitate to deck her ass again. She broke his heart then ran like a coward. The whole thing was fucked. She thought she was better than all of us. That wouldn't have bothered me if she hadn't ripped Edward's heart out. The look on his face when we walked in was unbearable. She probably just wanted out so she could be with someone else. The whole thing gets my blood boiling. She better watch her back.
She had returned. Yippie! Not. I know Alice's gonna be pissed. She was always pissed whenever Bella came up. She didn't like what she had done to Edward. That jackass still loves the little slut. I don't understand why. I never liked her , but I dealt with her cause the rest of them did. Now she's back to stir up trouble. Hell , maybe I'll bitch slap her this time. I know she was the reason Jasper broke up with Alice. I swear I love my brother , but he can be an idiot sometimes.
As long as this doesn't cause problems with me and Emmet it'll be fine. After I get in my hit of course. She was never anything special so I don't know why everyone has to make a big deal about her being back. Hell , she's probably married or knocked up by now. That'll put a damper on Eddie's mood. I never knew why he loved her so much. He's just an idiot. Either way I'm getting my hit in. For the problems she caused between us.
I can't wait to see my lil sis. If she even talks to me. That day sucked for all of us. In truth we should never had been involved. It was between her and Edward. Things were never the same after she left. I always wondered if she thought about any of us. She must have. I missed her over the years. It's strange how all those years of friendship were washed away in a moment. The tipping point for her had to have been Alice hitting her. Then Rose had to laugh. I could see the tears forming in her eyes as we all turned on her.
Even if me and Jasper didn't do anything I think that was the point. We didn't stop them or say a word. It ate Jazz up inside. We were never the same after she was gone. She seemed to have been the glue that held us all together. Sure , me and Rose are still together and she hangs out with Alice a lot , but the rest of us are scattered. I still talk to Edward , but it's not the same. Me and Jasper are closer , but he never even says a word to Edward. He hasn't said much to Alice either. I think he only talks to Rose because she's family. I hope that little squirt will let me apologize for not being there for her. She was always like my sister and I abandoned her like an ass in her time of need. Maybe tomarrow.