Writer's notes:

Sorry I took quite a damn long time into releasing the first chapter. Well, I have life to catch up to, exams are getting near (just this coming Monday WOOT!). If everything goes well, then maybe I'll have more time to kill. This is my last semester though, but I'm being held back for repeating a paper one per semester, and I have two of them to boot. Oh well, nothing that disturbing anyway. Also to mind you folks, I'm somehow… an artist before a writer, and I have doujinshi in the planning…

Anyway, this is a multiple re-edits on the released preview I had stuck there quite long ago, so expect differences from the preview to be apparent. Gotta thank someone for beta-reading this though, but even as much as I try doing some improvements there I figured out there are some things I still can't figure out, so I guess from here on I might get to know it later.

Based on the first episode of the anime up to the point Mikoto caused a city-wide blackout.

"Such misfortune!"

"Hold it, you dipshit!"

"Wait, you coward!"

And behind me was a group of people I shouldn't have showed off myself to.

You know, one can never be too skillful.

And today, somehow I forgot that magic catchphrase when I beat the crap out of someone.

I, Kamijou Touma, am leading a way of life that is undoubtedly blessed with misfortune.

Yes, July 19th. I went into a family restaurant in a rather good mood since summer vacation began the next day, and ordered a bitter melon and escargot lasagna from hell.

That was when it happened.

I saw a girl being harassed by some delinquents, thought I'd be a little hero, and that was when my luck ran out – or simply, I'm just too peaceful of a person and decided to flee instead after I sent someone flying with my fists.

Of course, not even I would be enthralled at the sight of bodies laying on the floor after being beaten to a pulp; and trust me, I'm already trying my best not to boast.

"C'mon…" said one of the people harassing the girl.

And that's when I decided to be the hero and stepped in to intercept.

"Hey you!"

The delinquent and the girl turned to look at me as I barged in, with the delinquent giving me a "Huh?" look on his face.

With an "Ehem!" trying to look cool, I began what would be my lines as a Good Samaritan.

"She looks troubled."

But as soon as I said that, a group of people came out of the toilet behind me, and if I were to say things in sarcasm – man, I'm pretty lucky, huh?

"Feels good?" said one of them.

"Feels good man!"

In reality, though, what I had in mind at that time was "Oh, crap."

"What's up with this guy?"

"Got something to say, eh?"

Of course I do, but if you're not the kind of people who prefer a one-to-one communication, then I don't think I have anything for you.

A few options flashed in my head and somehow I chose the option of 'Give that delinquent in front of you a direct hit and send him flying.'

And so it did… wait. Oops.

Did I just pick the wrong option? So I thought before I decided to run for the hell of it.

To be honest, I actually learned a few styles of Chinese kenpo. It's kung fu if you still don't know. That was why the guy was sent flying. But seeing how the guy was sent flying… well that was my mistake. I don't want to be a murderer… and it's not like how my knowledge of it should be used that way.

Especially this right hand which seems to deprive me of sweet Lady Luck's blessing.

"Don't think you can escape you bastard!" Roared one of the delinquents.

Such misfortune.

**1st HUSTLE: A Certain Damsel (Not) In Distress**

On a certain bridge I didn't even know I had run off to, I managed to outrun them somehow. Just as I want to take another breath of relief after such an incredible distance of running, however, looks like there was but one person who trailed me here.

"What were you doing?"

It was that girl back then. Yeah, back at the restaurant. A short-haired brunette wearing a hairpin… and I recognize that school uniform she's wearing.

"Being a good Samaritan by protecting the delinquents? Are you a certain hot-blooded teacher?" she continued.

What hot-blooded teacher? Ah, whatever. So these guys stopped chasing me… that can only mean one thing.

"The fact that they stopped chasing after me means…"

"Yeah, I burned them all up to save trouble." How nonchalant of you. And so she said, as she strokes her hair, complete with an electric spark coming from that action of hers. Literally.

"So that's what happened…" I mumbled.

"Hey, do you know what a railgun is?"


"Railgun?" I asked. I'm not quite smart to know what it is so I decided to say it anyway.

"Also called a super electromagnetic cannon. By borrowing Fleming's momentum, it can fire shells like a cannon." She then threw a coin up, and the next thing I knew is that a flash of blinding electrical light shone. "Something like this, see?"

And before I knew it, a beam somehow was launched with great power and velocity, that went past me… no, wait. What the hell is she doing!? Showing off with such a flashy display that can kill!? And I'm right here in the whatever-gun's way!

"Even with a coin like this, if it can go at three times the speed of sound, it can deal a substantial amount of damage, see?"

So you were trying to tell me that you want to blast me to space like a certain Team Rocket with that thing?

"Don't tell me you burned those people with that?"

"Don't take me for a fool. I'm quite adept at taking care of useless Level 0 espers," she said with yet another spark crackling from her. I don't need to see her doing that again, but I guess she has pride in what she's doing, somehow.

But, Miss Sparky Sparky, hearing you say "useless Level 0 espers" somehow makes me feel like I'm being stabbed by a certain Spear of Longinus while I'm crucified.

Yes, I wasn't trying to save her. She got that right. I was actually trying to save the guys that were carelessly trying to approach her. You know, missy, at least one getting thrown out of the restaurant by a punch is better than having you barbecuing them all by electrocuting them, because I knew you can do just that.

"I'm quite aware that you're one of the only seven Level 5 espers in this Academy City, but I think you should change your habit of talking down to other people, really." Err, wait, I'm not even sure I chose my words right either.

More electric sparks are coming from her. Uh-oh, looks like this God of Misfortune had pulled another one off from his fantastic power of misfortune, I suppose…

"That's something only the strong would say…"

Oh great, I don't know whether I can still live if she's ever going to pull something like that whatever-gun again... well, one can never have too much things to say…

"Hey, hey, hey! I'm a Level 0, too!" Too bad. She's already going to start.

And it all came down on me.

So it did.

Guess I had no other choice…

The flash from that thing she just shot at me went out.


A moment of silence.

"… And why are you, a Level 0, unhurt? AND WHY YOU'RE HOLDING THAT COIN!?"

"Huh?" … Oh yeah, the coin she used to shoot me that thing is still fine. And I'm holding it. Obviously, it was because I dispelled that thing firing towards me and grabbed that coin shortly afterward. It was a reflexed reaction though. Geez, for some reason I'm glad it didn't melt… but…

"Ow! Ow ow owies ow! Hot!" I instantly dropped the coin.

Only after cooling my fingers a bit with some nice air that I'm breathing out did I get to reply her.

You know, missy, if I were bad-tempered enough I'd try to beat you up this instant for doing that to me. I had to feel glad that I'm not, though…

"Uh, I don't know what you're getting at with this coin, but do you normally thank people this way? It's surely a flashy way of saying it, but you're welcome anyway…"

Science is so wonderful, people do get creative in everything. Though I wasn't sure if the coin was a sign of thanks… anyway, uh, did I just hit a bad joke?

"YOU…! I DON'T NORMALLY THANK PEOPLE LIKE THAT! Seriously, what the hell do you think I am!? Anyway, you haven't answered my question! Why are you still standing even after that!? And... THAT COIN!"

Yes, the joke was bad…

"… Oh, me? I don't know how to explain, but apparently this hand of mine holds a weird power which can stop any esper abilities from working… well, just like that."

"… Huh?" Only a puzzled reply was heard from her.

There is another reason regarding why apart from stopping that damn thing, I later managed to grab that coin. I won't explain this bit of information to her, but naturally for someone versed in martial arts, reflex actions are an important thing. And this is Academy City, where science makes things do wonders, so I guess what I've learned about reflex in P.E. classes is the only thing that I found useful in my knowledge of kenpo. Not that just by knowing kenpo helps you from avoiding extra classes, though…

"By the way, do you want the coin back? I guess it might be very important to you—"


Uh oh, she snapped, I don't know why. But this looks bad…

Right on the spot, from this cloudy night in the sky… a sudden lightning came crashing down from the sky. Oh grea—

End notes: Hoo boy, Touma… isn't it good if you actually knew Kung Fu in canon.