A/N: This idea came to me awhile ago, and I couldn't resist turning it into a story. This is my very first Suite Life fanfic. Reviews and constructive criticism welcome. Thanks and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the Suite Life franchise.

Prologue: How Did This Happen?

The first time I set foot on a boat I was awfully seasick. I was 10 years old and my family was on our first and only vacation, to Cousin Cletus's alligator farm in Florida. The whole trip sucked, especially the boat part. But that experience didn't stop me from applying to Seven Seas High six years later. I was desperate to get out of Kettlecorn, and high school on a cruise ship seemed like my only chance to escape.

And now here I am on the S.S. Tipton, thousands of miles away from Kansas, in a 12 x 12 cabin that I share with my boyfriend, Zack Martin. Not bad for a 16-year-old girl from the sticks, right? I haven't even been seasick once. No, the queasy feeling in my stomach has nothing to do with seasickness.

I look over at Zack, who's sprawled on his back in the bed next to mine, snoring as usual. The moonlight streaming through the porthole in our cabin accentuates his dreamy features. I don't even mind the snoring, to be honest. Growing up in a farmhouse full of brothers, I'm pretty used to snoring. At least Zack doesn't cut the cheese in his sleep like Woody Fink, who lives across the hall.

Zack and I have been together for almost three months now. We are basically having a secret torrid affair behind the backs of everyone here at Seven Seas High. This is as much as fun as it sounds – most of the time. Zack is a great guy, but he's not exactly Mr. Sensitive. Plus, he's a slob and a terrible student.

If only he were more like Cody.

This statement is troubling for so many reasons. The first being that Cody is Zack's twin brother. The second being that Cody also happens to be Woody's roommate (very troubling for Cody). Third, Cody thinks I'm a boy. Fourth, so does everyone else at Seven Seas High—well, except for Zack, that is.

Lately I've been feeling like I, Bailey Pickett, am starring in my own personal Cruise of Deception. How did my life become such a soap opera? Where do I even begin?