Wow. So this is the last chapter. Wow. Sorry that parts of it are so terribly predictable. But this is the ending I've had planned since the beginning, so this is what you get. Hope you love reading it as much as I loved writing it.
Sorry I didn't update sooner, but this time it is NOT MY FAULT. I tried to upload this chapter on Friday, but it refused to upload. I kept getting this message saying that FanFiction could not convert my document or something.
BTW, the trailer for my next story is up on YouTube. If you want some idea of what it will be about, you can watch it. It's called How to Crush a Crush: The Easy-to-Use Manual on Losing a Stalker. I'm super excited about it.
I don't own JONAS.
14 Reasons Why Not
Chapter 15: Sleepless Nights and Song Lyrics
The clock on the wall said, "4:42." Kevin had been staring at in since it said, "2:56." He wasn't sure how long he'd been awake before he started staring at the clock, or even whether he'd ever fallen asleep at all. Either way, he was sure there would be no falling asleep now. There was too much on his mind.
He kept repeating the list of 14 reasons over and over in his head.
She's too obsessed with me.
She's too emotional.
She can tell when I'm lying.
She's too brave.
She's too spontaneous.
She makes me fall down.
She makes me second-guess myself.
She makes me lose focus.
She makes me stupid.
She makes me tongue-tied.
She just might suffocate me.
She makes me lose touch with reality.
He cursed himself for ever making the list. The first few days it had made sense. When she fainted into her lunch, and when she'd whacked him in the face with a lacrosse stick, and when she'd gotten into a fight with Jerry Valentine at the mall. But why did he keep going after that? After he almost kissed her while trying to teach her the song he'd written for her on his guitar…
He sat upright in his bed, hitting his head hard on the bunk above him. Shaking it off, he rolled out of bed and ran to his guitar conveyor belt. Seizing his trusty acoustic, Linda, from the rack, he bolted to the firehouse roof.
"What are you doing up so early?" Macy's mother asked, finding her daughter sitting at the kitchen table at 5:30 A.M. with a notebook in front of her and a fine-tip Sharpie in her hand.
"Making a list."
"In permanent marker," her mother observed. "Must be something big."
"It is," Macy said, miserably.
Macy's mother read the title over her daughter's shoulder. "14 reasons I am not in love with Kevin Lucas?"
"Mom!" Macy cried, coving the page. "That's private."
Her mother took a seat next to her and put an arm over her shoulder. "I, uh, noticed you didn't have any reasons written on the list yet."
Macy looked up at her mother with tear-filled eyes. "That's because I can't think of any."
"Kevin? You'd better wake up. If you ditch school again, Mom will ground you from your guitar again."
"Huh?" Kevin moaned, sitting up and stretching. "Where am I?"
"On the roof," Frankie informed him. "Joe and Nick left for school without you. They couldn't find you."
Kevin snatched up his guitar by the neck and jumped to his feet. "I'm gonna be late! I can't be late today!"
He rushed toward the ladder and slid down it before racing bare-footed down the driveway.
"Where are you going?" Frankie called after him from the roof.
"I have to get to school!" Kevin shouted, without looking back.
"But you're in your choo choo train pajamas!"
"No time to change!"
Frankie shook his head as his oldest brother raced toward Horace Mantis Academy, his guitar strap sailing behind him.
"I actually share DNA with him."
"Let me get this straight," Justin said to Macy, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "After a week of trying to get Kevin to act civil toward me, you want me to just tell him I can't be his friend anymore?"
"Of course not."
"But you said…"
"I want you to stop speaking to him entirely."
"But he…I spent a whole week…Kevin introduced me to the entire cheerleading squad. I got half their phone numbers thanks to him. A dude can't just cut off that kind of friendship."
Macy stopped walking and stared at Justin crossly; clutching the cardboard box in her hand with so much tension that Justin could see the veins popping out of her wrist. "So you'd rather cut your friendship off with me, the first friend you made at this school?"
"Why do I have to stop being friends with anybody?"
"He said I was crazy, Justin! On that list, he called me crazy! I am not crazy! I'm not, I tell you!"
Justin shrank away. For someone to tiny, Macy knew how to intimidate a guy.
"Okay. Okay, I'll stop talking to him. Just stop yelling at me."
Macy nodded curtly and continued walking toward her locker.
"So, uh," Justin hesitated to ask, "what's the box for?"
"Hey, there's Macy," Joe said, nudging Nick.
The two brothers sat at the foot of the stairs in the Horace Mantis hallway, which seemed darker and gloomier than it had the past two weeks.
"She looks horrible," Nick commented.
It was true. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her hair was messy and tangled as if it had been slept on and not brushed. She must have been grouchy too, because Justin, who was standing at her locker with her, looked positively frightened of her.
Joe sighed. "Kevin must feel awful."
"I feel awful," Nick said. "I was in on the bet. This in one fourth my fault."
Joe nodded. "I feel bad too. So does Stella. Macy's her best friend."
"Imagine how much worse Kevin must feel," Nick responded. "He's in love with her."
Joe looked at Nick. "You think?"
Nick nodded. "Definitely."
Justin shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he watched Macy begin ripping things out of her locker and tossing them into the cardboard box at her feet. He spotted Stella nearby, looking miserable, and waved her over. He'd heard before that misery loves company, and right now, it looked like Macy needed all the company she could get.
Stella approached with caution as Macy viciously tore a strip of photo booth pictures from her locker and threw it into the box.
"Kevin stuff?" she dared to ask.
"Stella," Macy replied, "you are looking at an all new, liberated Macy Misa."
Stella pulled Kevin's jacket out of the box. "Don't you think you're being a little hard on him?"
"Hard on him?" Macy repeated. "I'm doing him a favor. Why should I stay friends with a guy who apparently hates so many things about me?"
"Maybe he doesn't hate you," Stella said. "Maybe he just, I don't know, tried to tell himself he didn't like you because he was afraid to admit that he really does like you."
"That's a good theory," Justin commented, suspecting Stella of knowing a little more than she was letting on.
"Stella, I know you've been friends with JONAS, like, forever," Macy said, "but I think you're giving Kevin just a little too much credit."
"You've read the teen magazines," Stella replied, pulling a magazine with JONAS on the cover from Macy's cardboard box. She pointed at the inscription under Kevin's picture. "Kevin is the sweet one. Everybody thinks so."
Macy shook her head. "You didn't see the list."
Stella sighed. She felt as if she were as much to blame for this as Kevin was, if not more. Macy was her best friend. She had to tell her the truth. "Macy, I have a confession to make. I kind of told Kevin to…"
Justin cut her off. "Do you hear music?"
Stella and Macy listened.
"Yeah, I hear it," Stella said. "But I don't recognize this song."
Macy's eyes filled with tears. "I do."
A hush ran over the hallway as Joe and Nick made way for Kevin to walk down the stairs, picking at his guitar.
"Is he wearing pajamas with trains on them?" Justin whispered to Stella, who looked absolutely furious.
"Weeks of hand-stitching that beautiful new blazer for him, and he comes to school in pajamas."
They noticed that he was also barefoot, as he walked toward them, still strumming on his guitar.
"I have to go," Macy whispered to Stella. "I can't deal with this right now."
"Wait!" Stella whispered, grabbing Macy by the wrist before she could run away. "Just listen."
"I know you're mad at me," Kevin said, approaching Macy. "But I promised that when I wrote the lyrics, you'd be the first to hear them."
Macy scanned the crowded hallway, finding that all of the students were waiting eagerly for her to respond. A few of them even had their fingers crossed. Finally, she surrendered. "Go ahead," she whispered.
Kevin began to sing:
"There's no one else out there
who makes me feel this way
Like I'm just a boy with a guitar
and you're the reason that I play
I try to get you off my mind
but you're the song stuck in my head
and there are just too many reasons
I should sing something else instead
Because sometimes you like me just a little too much
Because I get hurt every time we touch
Because your craziness can make me crazy too
Because there's too much behind your brown eyes
Because around you I can't tell a lie
Because not everyone can be as brave as you
It's your unpredictability
It's the way you make my knees go weak
It's the way you always make me feel unsure
Because around you I can't concentrate
Because all my thoughts evaporate
Because only you can leave me lost for words
Because I can't breathe when you're around
and my feet can't seem to touch the ground
I'm sorry, but I must tell you the truth
The 14 reasons I can't fall in love with you"
By this time, tears were pouring down Macy's delicate cheeks. Stella, too, had tears in her eyes, and even Justin was trying to nonchalantly wipe his cheek with his hand, pretending he was only scratching his face.
"Allergies?" Nick whispered to Joe, who nodded, wiping a tear away.
Kevin continued his song:
"And I can't seem to stop myself
no matter how hard I try
Because for every reason why not
I can find a million reasons why
Because I like you just a little too much
and I get this feeling when we touch
Because your craziness can make me crazy too
Because there's so much behind your brown eyes
Because I never want to tell a lie
Because you make me want to be as brave as you
It's your unpredictability
It's the way you make my knees go weak
It's how you always seem to feel so sure
Around you I can't concentrate
and all my fears evaporate
Only you can leave me lost for words
I catch my breath when you're around
My feet don't even touch the ground
No guy could ever deserve a girl like you
And I'm so amazed by everything you do
That's why I can't help but fall in love with you"
The hallway broke out in applause, led by Nick and Joe, who were both whistling and cheering loudly.
"So?" Kevin asked Macy. "What did you think?"
With all the force she could muster, Macy slapped Kevin hard across the cheek. He took a step back in shock.
"If you think you can hurt me the way you did and just make everything better by writing me a song…" Macy began. She shook her head, her face softening. "…then you're right."
Kevin's face broke into a smile as he took a step closer to her, absent-mindedly handing his guitar to Stella.
The two were standing inches apart when Macy spoke again. "But next time, it'll cost you two songs."
"There won't be a next time," Kevin assured her, his face getting closer and closer to hers.
"I'm sorry I slapped you," Macy whispered.
"I'm sorry I deserved it."
"You're not wearing any shoes," Macy breathed.
"Don't you ever shut up?" Kevin asked her, pulling her in for a kiss.
The hallway broke into applause once again. Mrs. Calf emerged from the biology room to see what was going on.
"Break it up, you two," she warned, smiling. "This is a school, not your bedroom. And Mr. Lucas, that, uh, outfit is not regulation."
Kevin adjusted the shirt Stella had come up with for him and the pants that Joe had wisely kept in his locker in case of emergencies. The shoes had been a little harder to come by. He'd had to settle for Justin's football cleats, which were two sizes too big for him and caused him to fall down four times already because of the metal spikes on the bottom. But it had been worth it. He was sitting beside Macy among his friends at a round cafeteria table. Joe and Stella sat side by side, holding hands under the table. Justin sat beside Stella, and Nick sat on the other side of Justin, staring at something at the other end of the cafeteria.
"So let me get this straight," Macy was saying to Joe. "This whole list thing was all a bet to get Kevin to admit his feelings for me?"
"Yep," Joe replied. "Although it didn't work quite as planned. We thought he'd cave on the third day."
"And then the fourth day came," Stella added. "And the fifth. And before we knew it, it was day fourteen, and he was still being stubborn."
"In my defense," Kevin put in, "I would've kissed her on day four if you three hadn't barged in and ruined the moment."
"So it's our fault?" Joe asked.
"And then I was going to again on day eight," Kevin added. "But then Justin showed up and starting touching me all inappropriately…"
"I was checking for broken bones!" Justin shot back. "It's not my fault you fell down the stairs!"
"My point is," Kevin told Macy, "for those two weeks, the timing was never right. Whether it was because you fell asleep, or because I hit you in the face with my guitar, or I accidentally handed in a list that looked way worse than it really was to Mrs. Calf…"
"Or because you were a big chicken," Macy replied, kissing him on the cheek to show him she was only kidding.
"I'm just glad it's all over now," Justin said. "No more of this romantic tension always lingering around and people refusing to admit how they feel about other people."
Kevin, Macy, Stella, and Joe all nodded in agreement
"Nick?" Joe said, suddenly noticing how distracted his younger brother was. "Who are you staring at?"
"What?" Nick said, snapping to attention. "No one."
Macy grinned and turned her head in the direction he'd been staring. "That's Farrah Dawson. She's on the volleyball team."
"I wasn't staring at her," Nick insisted.
Stella grinned. "You like her, don't you?"
"What? No! I've never met her. I mean, I have. But just once. In English class, when she dropped her pencil and I picked it up for her and handed it to her. And then our hands touched, and they sort of lingered there for a minute and…I do not like her!"
"Clearly," Stella replied.
"Besides," Nick went on. "She's not my type. I'd never go out with a girl like her."
Kevin smiled. "Are you willing to bet on that?"
This is the part when I must put this story to rest. It's time to say goodbye. RIP Justin, Jerry, Pete, Talon, old lady in the thrift shop, Tony and his daughter from the basketball game, and any other OCs I forgot to mention because you're just not as important to me. You will live on in my heart forever. Except, of course, for those that I've forgotten to mention, because clearly you're not important enough for me to remember.
14 Things I Learned While Writing 14 Reasons Why Not
1. OCs are simply the funnest things ever. The only major OC I'd ever written before was Aaron Schinn in I Hate You More, but this story was full of them. RIP Justin, Jerry, Pete, and all of the less major but equally loved OCs in this fic.
2. I love cheese. No, not actual cheese. I'm talking about Joe's Stella song cheese. Love it.
3. I am painfully predictable. But what could I do? Change the ending to my story just because all of your reviews were accurately predicting what was to come?
4. For someone not alive in 1985, I'm way too into John Hughs films.
5. xovickixo and Fabled Diamond are the most amazing reviewers in the world. Not that I don't love all reviews, but I can't read a review from either of these two without cracking up.
5b. I think I might be engaged to Fabled Diamond. Is that weird?
6. Never promise to update soon. It will bite you in the butt.
7. People actually hold their hands flat in foam fingers. I had to ask my little brother. I also had to ask him stuff about sports and biology, because I know nothing about either.
8. Two a.m. is the best time to write. Seriously, what can distract you at two in the morning?
8b. I am easily distracted.
9. Eating is totally necessary, not matter how into your writing you're getting.
10. Fan fiction trailers are way fun to make, but Windows Movie Maker sucks.
11. Checking email on my phone every twenty minutes at work does not make reviews magically appear.
12. A lot more people read the Misc. section on FanFiction than I thought.
13. Kevin Jonas is so underrated and really does have the best hair out of the Jonas brothers.
14. Fiction trumps reality.
So that was 14 Reasons Why Not. I hope you all loved it. My next story is coming…I don't know when. When it's ready, I guess. But school has started already, so I don't know when that will be.
Thanks to everyone who read and everyone who reviewed. I love you all forever.