Rated M for language and possible future happenings.
It was a day like any other for the members of the Varia. Blood-stained and insane with the after-taste of death. While Squalo dug around the rubble and strewn, lifeless bodies under the orders of Xanxus, his and the other members of the elite and reclusive independent assassin squad of the Vongola, otherwise known as the Varia, the boss they believed capable of being the 10th generation Vongola mafia boss.
"Why do I get stuck with all of these jobs? Those bastards go on a killing spree, and I have to clean everything up and find the target," Squalo grumbled to himself, kicking over a body to examine the face.
"Oh really, it's not as if you're doing this by yourself, Squalo-chan," Lussuria cooed as he past by Squalo.
Squalo ignored his fellow Varia member and continued to search. Without realizing it, Squalo had taken a path from the direct battlefield to an extremely barren area with only flowers and a small group of huts with considerably less damage. Once he realized that, he was about to turn back around and leave, but he heard faint crying. He thought it was a victim that had survived the onslaught, so he searched for the source to put the wretched soul out of his misery.
"Well what do we have here?" He asked aloud as he found the unexpected survivor, a small newborn wrapped in a snowy white blanket, "Might as well kill you anyways,"
Just as he swung his blade down to end the infants life, the baby grabbed at the blade and giggled joyously, stopping his tears instantly. Squalo, for whatever reason, smiled at the child and picked it up from the ring of anemone, snapdragon and yellow carnations that surrounded it. The baby smiled at him and grabbed a hand full of his silver hair.
"You're not so bad, are you?" He asked the baby, the tracess of affection and caring in his cold voice.
"Yo, we're leaving now!" Levi yelled out from a few feet away, completely ignoring the baby in Squalo's arms.
"Shut up, you asshole!" He yelled over his back at the Varia member.
Levi shrugged and left Squalo alone to a tough and life-altering decision. Would Squalo kill this innocent and adorable life like he had originally planed or would he take this child with him and raise it as his own? True, the Varia would find out sooner or later if he kept it, but being the morons that Squalo thought them to be, he figured it could be years before they figured it out. But what was one more life if he did kill it?
"Sphft," The baby blew a spit bubble and it popped in his face.
Squalo rolled his eyes, aw hell, he couldn't kill this kid. This big-eyed brat was just too cute to harm. He shook his head, there was no decision to make, this kid would now be his kid.
"Today is your lucky day," Squalo said to the infant child and carried him back to the waiting Varia.
It was too much of a pain to try to hide, so Squalo didn't even bother trying to hide the cheerful babe. Bel was the first to notice Squalo and the baby.
"Shi shi shi, what's the meaning of this?" Bel laughed, unable to fathom why Squalo was holding the baby.
"If you pay me enough, I could take that kid off your hands," Mammon said greedily from the top of Bel's royal blonde head.
"Like hell! None of you lowlifes are even going to touch a hair on his head!" Squalo threatened, his fangs barred at the lot of his teammates.
"I think it's wonderful to see Squalo-chan be so protective! It will be so nice to have a new face around the place!" Lussuria sided with Squalo, much to the annoyance of the later.
"Like Xanxus-sama would let you keep the brat," Levi said without a concern in the matter.
"What wouldn't I let happen?" Xanxus asked, stalking up stealthily behind Levi and scaring the shit out of him, "Squalo, answer, this seems to concern you,"
Squalo stopped toward the boss, "I found this kid,"
Xanxus closed his eyes as he listened to Squalo's story, opening them slowly as he made up his mind on his final decision, "I think we should keep the kid,"
"Excuse me? I'm a prince, I shouldn't have to raise some kid," Bel glared at Squalo and the baby as he tried to plead his way out the situation in the most dignified manner possible of a prince.
"Think of it this way, you can teach this child to be more noble than the likes of these ruffians without having to even touch a woman," Lussuria shuddered at the thought.
"Unlike you, I'd rather go the woman route," Bel muttered darkly, speaking as if that was the lesser of two ultimate evils.
"Then it's settled, we'll raise this kid, but Squalo is ultimately the main father figure," Xanxus declared, meaning that they would all teach the child valuable skills, but Squalo would have to raise the kid with only volunteered help.
Suddenly, as if triggered by Xanxus's order, the baby started to cry. Nobody moved at all as they just stared at each other. Squalo too didn't know what to do, so he just looked at the baby. Finally, as the tears wore on everyone's last nerve, Bel shouted at Squalo to do something.
"Hurry and shout Belphegor II up right now! He's killing my princely ears," Bel shouted with his hands over his ears.
"Belphegor II? No, I think Rich is a much better name," Mammon started a naming war with that single sentence alone.
"No, he should be Xander or Xi or something like that for the boss!" Levi jumped into the conversation heatedly.
"Hardly appropriate. The baby should be named Vanilla, or Van for short," Lussuria suggested, playing on the Vongola family's favoritism of the letter V.
While they fought, Squalo had found out that the baby was in need of a diaper change. So, while everyone was beating everyone else up, he went into a barely standing store and grabbed what was needed.
"Squalo, what's taking so long?" Xanxus, who just sat on on large hunk of building and watched his subordinates fight and Squalo handle the baby, asked in an irritated voice, "Can you not do something so simple as change a diaper?"
Hearing his boss's pissed-off voice stirred the paralyzed Squalo, "No,"
Xanxus sighed at his underlings stupidity and went over to replace Squalo at the makeshift changing table. He let out a booming roll of laughter as he saw what had so effected Squalo. Surprised to hear their boss laughing, everyone ceased fighting and stared over at Xanxus to see what had sparked his laughter. They too were amused and shocked to see what the problem was.
The elite and reclusive assassin group the Varia stood around as they began their first steps as fathers. Squalo and Xanxus stood before the baby that they were changing and the rest of them just watched in amazement. Finally, after the diaper was changed on the baby that Squalo had found, everyone had found their voices again.
"That baby....That baby isn't a boy," Levi managed to force out what everyone wanted to say.
"Well spotted, you fucking moron!" Squalo hissed at Levi.
"Watch your fucking mouth in front of the damn kid," Xanxus snapped, a sudden protectiveness absorbing him and the rest of the Varia.
"So, what do we call it?" Bel asked, probably the most disturbed to find out that the baby was a girl and not a boy like everyone assumed.
"Does anyone know any girlie names?" Lussuria, who was the fastest to recover, asked the group.
They looked at each other in shock and dismay. If Lussuria didn't know any female names, they no one in the group did. Or was that the case?
"I have a book that might come in handy," Bel admitted boredly, acting as if he was speaking to himself rather than his teammates.
"I don't know what surprises me more. The fact that Bel has a book or the fact that he can read," Mammon snickered.
"What a minute, Mammon's a baby, maybe he can help us" Levi mused out loud.
They ignored him, because they all knew that wasn't the case at all. Xanxus grew bored of their prattle, so he stood up straight and grabbed the baby girl in his arms. They all moved froward anxiously, but Squalo was the most noticeable. Xanxus smirked at how attached Squalo had already become.
"Relax. I'll take the baby home and on the way, you all can get the necessary requirements," Xanxus took the job that he thought would be less aggravating, not the easier job.
"Uh, can I come with you? We need to get our little bitches ready, and I think I can whip them in shape the fastest," Bel requested, calling his and the rest of the Varia's grunts so kindly.
Xanxus thought it over, "Do whatever you want,"
My second KHR fic. The first was/is "Love is Timeless, Isn't It?". It's a GokuderaxOC fic. Pitch over. I don't own KHR.