Really bad, I know... before bashing me on the reviews, keep in mind this is my very first fan fic ever so my writing skills aren't that great.
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"He won't cross you today," I reassured her. "He values his life too much. Esme's got them finishing things up out back. Do you want some help? I could do her hair."
Bella's jaw fell open
I sat in my empty room, thinking about that moment. Edward and Bella were gone on their honeymoon, so for one night my thoughts were mine and no one else's .
Was I really that bad? So bad that she would gape in astonishment when I offered to help her? Guilt sprung in my mind. Of course. This was a result of my treatment of her. Instances when I could've been nicer flash before me. The times I've glared at her. The one memory which stabs me in particular is when I told Edward Bella was dead.
The wedding was the beginning of a new life for Bella. And it was going to be a new beginning for me. I need to be nicer to this girl.
But, how could I? How could I get over this girl, who has everything I every wanted--things I would give up my beauty and life for—and is just throwing it away.
I admit that part of me admired her. I marveled at her maturity, a characteristic I still lacked. I could no longer consider her a danger toward us—in fact, I never did. That was all deception to cover up my jealousy of her. Edward knew, of course, but he had the heart to not tell anyone—not even Bella. She never showed me bitterness, despite all that I showed her.
But her kind and innocent nature plagued me, along with her choices. Didn't she realize that once she became a vampire, there was no turning back, no undoing? Didn't she realize the separation she'll endure with her family as a result? Family: one of the many things I gave up, something that I will never get back. Tears fill in my eyes at their memories, tears I cannot shed. And she's just throwing hers away? Is beauty the only thing that matters to her? Did she want to become like me? And of course, children. She would never know the joys of motherhood or never experience the joys of starting a family. What would I give to have any of that! Isn't aging- of all prices- sufficient for this? I could never have these things. She, however, could.
Silently, I made a promise to myself. Bella was still human—thank god. I still had some time to convince her to make the right choice. It might be easier this time, since her heart was no longer torn over my brother and that dog. I would use better persuasion this time. Surely she would see what she was missing.
I closed my eyes and began my plan.