The Adventures of Mikaela and Wheelie

A Mikaela/Wheelie Series

Chapter Nine: Food Fights and Canceled Dates

"Stop looking so pathetic," Mikaela sighs, as she watches Wheelie sulk underneath her kitchen table. "It's not like it's the end of the world."

Wheelie gives her a glare before responding with, "Warrior Goddess, you don't have to watch yourselves share organic fluids all day, so sue me if I'm a little uncomfortable with Sammy boy coming over."

Rolling her eyes, Mikaela returns to reading her mom's recipe on the best double chocolate brownies, ever. Yes, it was true. Her boyfriend of three years was coming over for his mandatory girlfriend time, and Wheelie (for obvious reasons) was not too happy about it. "So says, the robot who finds my leg to be the greatest humping pole on the planet." Mikaela deadpans, and hears Wheelie's gears shift at the mention of her leg.

"And don't you slagging forget it" Wheelie answers back, earning a chuckle from Mikaela as she begins to mix the gooey batter into the bowl.

The kitchen counter is filled with eggs, milk, and other human foods that Wheelie knows he'll have to clean up sooner or later. With a groan, Wheelie returns to his sulking because nothing is worse than having to clean human intake. He's not exactly being verbal about the whole "Sam-coming-over-and-ruining-everything-thing," Wheelie kinda, sorta understands that Sam makes his Warrior Goddess happy and he begrudgingly accepts that fact.

Even though she's hot, when she's mad. He likes it when his Warrior Goddess is happy too.

Just because he's only part of a whole idiot, doesn't mean he doesn't notice these "human" things. Like how her eyes almost glow, when she's on the phone with him, or how she starts laughing to every little joke Sam says. He finds it revolting sometimes, and he has to fight the urge to purge his energon breakfast all over her computer when they get all "goo-goo-ga-ga" over each other. In his sulking, Wheelie watches Mikaela mix the chocolate batter with a look of concentration on her face, and wonders if he'll get a reward tonight for being on his best behavior when Sam comes over.

What can he say? Mikaela's right leg is a godsend to all drones everywhere.

Her cell-phone rings to the song "Before It's Too Late," and Mikaela almost misses the call because she's putting the brownies in the oven.

"Sam!" Mikaela answers, "I made you your favorite brownies!" a smirk forming on her lips as she expertly closes the oven door with her foot.

Rolling his optics, Wheelie doesn't need to hear the lovey-dovey conversation that was bound to happen with the two. Climbing onto the kitchen table, he becomes a little worried when a frown sets on Mikaela's face. She's clutching the phone to her ear, as she leans against the counter closing her eyes as Sam continues talking on the phone in his usual fast pace manner.

"You can't be serious, Sam" Mikaela says, "I haven't seen you in like three months!"

There's a pause, letting Sam talk before she answers with, "I know, I know that acing that class is important, it's just...I miss you."

Wheelie watches the conversation play out, and finds that college is a bitch, for a lack of a better word, on relationships.

"This sucks major ass, Witwicky" Oooo that's definitely not a good sign, Wheelie thinks, and hopes that Sam is in the slagging doghouse for making his Warrior Goddess slave over human food over a broke promise.

"When will I be able to see you?" Mikaela asks, and after a pause she says, "Okay...yeah, me too" and finally hangs up the phone.

With a small groan of exasperation, she sinks down onto the floor of the kitchen, not caring that it's probably ruining her favorite khaki shorts. She wasn't lying when she said that she missed Sam, and it already hurt enough that the best she could do was take courses at Tranquility Community College. It hurts to know that he's so far away, and the rest of her alien friends have sort of forgot that she, too helped save the world.

"So, Sammy boy ditched you?"

Mikaela looks at Wheelie, too fucking depressed to glare or make some form of witty comeback to excuse Sam's absence. With a shrug she draws her knees to her chest, and buries her head into her arms. Well at least I can get fat off of mom's double chocolate brownies, Mikaela thinks knowing that in about fifteen minutes the brownies will be done.

Wheelie was on the verge on being in "Warrior-Goddess-Panic-Mode" because of how freaking pathetic she looked, sliding herself on kitchen floor like that. And that was one thing his Warrior Goddess wasn't, a pathetic fleshbag, unlike the rest of her kind.

"C'mon, Warrior Goddess, forget Sam!" Wheelie says from his perch on the kitchen table, "He's not worth moping around, like the time Megatron kicked Starscream in the aft for getting the wrong kind of energon grade"

"You really don't like Starscream, do you?" Mikaela replies back, raising her head from her arms.

"No one does! Not even my mindless brother drones!" Wheelie exclaims, almost manically. "He's a bitch! I wouldn't be surprised if he's picking up energon waste from Megatron's aft right now!"

Mikaela smiles, and Wheelie feels somewhat proud of himself that he's able to at least make her smile. It fades a bit, and Mikaela returns to her original position with her head in her arms, and Wheelie can't slagging stand it.

He turns to his right, and finds the carton of eggs is wide open.

With an evil glint in his optics, he knows the only way to get his Warrior Goddess's spark back was to get her extremely mad. And this time she might actually kill him, but at least she'll be back to normal.

So he picks up the egg and with gifted precision he throws the egg straight into her glossy black hair.

Upon impact, Mikaela stands abruptly with a yell, trying to get the yolk off her face. "Wheelie!" Mikaela yells, while he smiles. "What the hell was that for?"

Before Wheelie could answer back, Mikaela reaches behind her and throws a fistful of flower into Wheelie's face, and the Food Fight officially begins. The battlefield? Her kitchen, and her enemy? A tiny perverted ex-Decepticon who likes to hump her leg.

Immediatley, Wheelie, carrying a carton of eggs hops down from the kitchen table and overturns one of the chairs in her kitchen as his fort against Mikaela's (more than obvious) height advantage. Mikaela clears the table and makes her fort with a carton of eggs, a box of Ziploc bags, and a bag of flour as her only weapons.

Wheelie launches his attack with a manic laugh, as he throws three eggs towards Mikaela's direction and manages to hit Mikaela with a splash of yolk.

"You're so going down, you sad excuse of a robot!" Mikaela yells, and sends a Ziploc baggy grenade of flour over Wheelie's "wall" of the chair and sees a small explosion of flour pour all over his head as he looks up from his position in shock.

"You'll pay for that, Warrior Goddess!"

"You started it!"

And the fight continues with eggs exploding in various places of the kitchen, as Wheelie begins to use his size as an advantage and moves around kitchen with expert speed, sending the left over brownie batter towards Mikaela's "fortress" through the use of the mixer.

"I'm bringing the rain, Wheelie!" Mikaela yells with a laugh, remembering how that was Will's phrase.

Finding a bag of stale marshmallows in the kitchen sink, she starts a full frontal assault of marshmallow bullets by throwing them directly at Wheelie's alt mode of a toy car. Transforming, Wheelie throws a stick of butter towards Mikaela's head as a distraction before expertly throwing cup of milk towards her exposed body.

"Hey!" Mikaela screams, the milk dripping down her shirt. "You pervert!" Wheelie grins, forgetting that he's now out in the open with no weapons. Besides she only had two carton of eggs! We used them all! Wheelie thinks smugly.

His smug grin fades though when he sees a white egg in Mikaela's hands, and before he can run to the safety of his chair "fort," he slips on an egg yolk.

Oh slag!

With a shit eating grin, Mikaela takes out her secret weapon that will end this little food war. Using the last egg from her carton, she throws a direct hit towards Wheelie's face and takes out her cheese wiz can, and sprays it all over Wheelie's head making an outstanding "sundae" all over him.

"I surrender! I surrender!" Wheelie screams, as he finally realizes he's covered in human food!

When he sees Mikaela smiling at her apparent victory, he really couldn't care less/

Breathing heavily, both human and alien, share fit of the giggles, before the tall-tell signs of smoke reach both nose and scent receptor.

"Oh shit! The brownies!"


AN: This chapter was so much fun to write, and it didn't take me so long either, the words just flew off the page. Remember to review! :D Only one more chapter left!