Sticky Note War
Hmm, this is a DeiSaku oneshot I wrote for Vesper chan's 'Sakura Oneshot Contest.'
The song featured is Battlefield by Jordin Sparks.
Eh, I don't own Naruto.
(Sakura's Point of View)
'Don't try and explain your mind, I know what is happening here
One minute, it's love
And, suddenly, it's like a battlefield.'
'How did I manage to get myself in this hell?' Is all I could ask myself as I read through each and every piece of paperwork.
Why every piece you ask? It is because Deidara's too busy stealing and eating donuts from the teacher's lounge!
Sometimes, I just have to stop and as myself why in hell's name do I date the guy! I mean, seriously, I could be on the field trip to some orchard with a bunch of copse and eating endless apples, but no!
I guess it isn't too big of a loss because walking around outside in Konoha's humid weather isn't what I'd call 'nice.' Really, I'm perfectly fine in the air conditioned school with only like a dozen other kids and about four teachers.
But, on the flip side, all this damn records and shit are murder! Why the hell is it in such small text?! Ugh, Deidara…you make me wonder at times…
"Speak of the devil." I said as he walked in with one glazed donut in his mouth and a dozen more in a box.
He had sprinkles and icing all over his face and his hair was all sticky too.
He has this big red splotch of strawberry jelly on the chest of his uniform and it looked like someone shot him with a jelly filled donut. 'Wonder who that was?'
As he finished with the sugary donut that was previously in his mouth, he looked like he was about to say something, what, I don't know because he stuck a cinnamon stick into his mouth instead.
"Damn it Deidara! You're gonna have such a sugar high I'm going to have to tie your ass to a damn chair!" I'm serious too. The guy is like the energizer bunny when he was the least bit of chocolate!
"Mhy, shakumraa? Ru just jealous that I have donuts and you get paperwork instead?" He cockily asked as he finished up the donut right in mid-sentence. I sighed, there's no way in hell I was going to finish all of this! Especially with Deidara not helping!
"You know what Dei-kun? You are the very example of a Paragon. What makes you special though is that you're the king of all things a lousy boyfriend is! I mean, come on! Tsunade said, 'Do all this paperwork, or else!' and, I really don't think you're making the effort!" I stated, exasperated.
I looked at him and he had on a small pout and confusion written all over his face. Now what?
"Did you just call me a dragon or some shit?" I should've known, Deidara and big vocabulary don't go together. I didn't feel like making an explanation so, I reached for a pink sticky note pad.
I wrote down the definition in hopefully a language he can understand. It read, 'pair-uhh-gone! Some 1 who is the very best ex-sample of some thing!' I underlined the keywords, pair, gone, and ex for him to put the pieces together.
I am not going to work with him because as his girlfriend, I have to be the one that does all the work.
I stuck the note to his forehead and he plucked it off, leaving a trail of cinnamon crystals in its place. He read it about two times over and looked at me in disbelief.
Hmm, it really isn't over-over, just until the end of the day but, I won't tell him that.
'One word turns into a
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down?'
"What the hell, Sakura! So, you're just breaking up with me because I know how to have fun?!" Wow, is he really that pissed? Well, might as well diss him while I'm not dating him.
"No, Deidara, I'm breaking up with you because you're an opportunist that doesn't get the big picture. Eating donuts while I'm in here slaving over some damn records isn't a good boyfriend!" Man, he's even more pissed now.
Hmm, last time I seen him this mad was when Sasori and I broke his IPod and told him we'd buy him a new one.
That was when Sasori and I went to an old garage sale and bought him an old timely music box. It was a cross between a radio and a satellite dish I think. Plus, when Sasori gave it to him, he blew up.
Hilarious! Sasori couldn't get within ten foot of him or he'd start yelling curses like a banshee straight out of hell!
Plus, he looks like now he's about to explode on me. It would be the first he ever has yelled at me hatefully but, whatever.
'My world's nothing when you're gone
I'm out here without a shield-can't go back, now'
When a few moments passed, he just stormed off to the storage room and brought back about a dozen blue, yellow, orange, pink, purple, and green sticky note pads and started scribbling things down with a black ink pen.
He took a dictionary and began looking up words and writing some more on the little neon squares and I just watched in vague amusement.
After he had about twelve or thirteen filled out, he tackled me! I stuck one on my forehead, on my back, chest, and all in my hair. Then, the little ass leaned back and sat criss-crossed right in front of me.
'Both hands tied behind my back for nothing, oh, no
These times we climb so fast to fall, again
Why we gotta fall for it now?'
I plucked the first off of my forehead and read it to myself, 'Tutelary- acting as a guardian or protector. I love you babe.' Hmm, how'd he know what word to look up? Anyways, that was sweet.
I plucked one from my hair and proceeded to study it. The little yellow sticky note read, 'you always cosset- give me excessive attention and care. I love you 2.' He thinks he's going to weaken me, he's wrong.
I looked up momentarily to see him smiling childishly at me with a lopsided smile and I forced myself not to give in. Sakura Haruno shall not be defeated at her own game!
I removed the one from my chest and began reading it as followed, 'you r a statue, a living work of art. I can't replace you ever…' God, I can't break. Deidara, I can't replace you either.
Geez, all the sweet compliments and shit…I want to kiss him. Damn it, I need the self-control right about now…
Instead of glomping and making out with him I pulled the one from my back with little to no difficulty.
In his sloppy handwriting I made out the phrase, 'You are like a smoke, you are my addition, my drug, my crack.' Hmm, nice way to put it I guess. It isn't very original, but, whatever.
I started pulling, ripping, yanking, and reading over all the other ones he stuck about my body and they were all sweet and innocent confessions about me.
I turned my attention to him who was grinning manically by now, right at me. Two can play at the innocent game, if that's the way he wants it.
'Better go and get you armor (Get your armor)
Get your armor (Get your armor)
I grabbed several different colors and wrote an adjective on each one, describing him. Such definitions were: bunny, for when he pouts, hot, attractive, stubborn, sweet, hilarious, so on and so forth.
After I finished up with each little advertisement, a screeched out, "Sticky Note War!" and so it began.
We each had like, fifteen pieces each at one time, pasting them onto the other's body. It was like a battlefield with him truthfully. We both were stubborn and dare I say very immature at times like these.
After numerous sessions of scribbling and sticking our ammunition was running low, so we eventually ended up in a pile on top of each other laughing our asses off for different reasons.
"S-Sa-Sakura! You've got the note 'sexy bitch' stuck to your ass!" Deidara choked out after several attempts.
I didn't try and take off instead because I had my own little comical scene. On Deidara's nose there was a hot pink note saying, 'suck it, I'll choose where.'
What was even worse was he was trying to lick it off. Damn, that is side-splitting wrongness! I was about to mention something but instead I heard the door open behind me.
Oh shit! The paperwork! The sticky notes! Tsunade…was laughing?! Why the hell is she laughing?
"Y-you two! What the hell have you been up to?! It looks like you've had a little war in here with…sticky notes?" Tsunade asked refraining from laughing too hard. Why was she laughing? Wasn't she supposed to like, be angry?
"Uhh, he-he, uhh, funny story there…" Deidara attempted, failing miserably. He still had that note stuck to his nose and quite frankly, about a hundred more across the rest of him.
But, I'm in the same situation were I'm sitting, from 'Sexy bitch' to 'Smack that!' from head to toe.
I didn't bother to ask why Tsunade, our principal was laughing so happily because the bell rang, signaling the end of the school day.
Deidara stood and helped me up and headed towards the donut box. He took it in one hand and mine in the other as we passed by our truly blonde principal and headed out the door.
"Hey, Dei-kun, will you go out with me?"
"Hmm, anything for you, blonde whore." He chuckled, referring to a neon yellow note on my arm. How did my note get on myself? Who really cares...
'Why does love always feel like a battlefield?'
I gently punched him and said, "Better yet, maybe I should just ask out Sasori. He is an artist."
Then, an awkward silence. If there was one thing I knew, my relationship really is a battlefield, in a good way.
"Seriously, you like him?!" Wow, oblivious Deidara, doesn't know how to take a joke.
"No, I like my… 'cocky bastard' just fine." And before he could retort in a smart ass remark, I kissed him.
'I never meant to start a war
Don't even know what we're fighting for'
He can have his little victories, but I have mine also.
Hey, well, there it is! Finished and ready to be review! This is my first one-shot that focuses on any one pairing like, ever.
Yay me! Er, sorry. Anyways, before I start writing random things I guess that's all.