Disclaimer: KKM is not mine. Also, first posted AU-fic, be kind, yeah?

Note: To my RL friends (you know who you are), I know you guys don't like Yuuri and Wolfram being obviously (physically) in love, so don't read this only to scold me afterward, please. This is pretty darn naughty, so don't like, don't read. Prompts by the extremely lovely rynankh! Everyone but Yuuri and Wolfram are kiddies, just so you know


"Okay kids, let's go! Remember, Wolfram's men take no prisoners!"

With a roar of childish glee Wolfram's side surged forward, lobbing projectiles with war cries and laughter, scowling as best they could before they dissolved into giggles.

Yuuri, on the other hand, was leading his band into retreat.

"Head for cover everyone, get some shelter! Every man for himself!" While he shouted Yuuri grabbed the nearest child, lifting him onto his shoulders with a shout and running for the swings and slides. His team was laughing too, because while Yuuri wasn't the openly violent type, nowhere was it said that he couldn't be sneaky.

Little Anissina with her hair in pigtails reached their secret stash first. With blood-lust Yuuri had only ever before seen in vampire movies she stuffed a couple of balloons down the front of her swimsuit, before climbing the top of the monkey bars to take aim and let loose on Wolfram's side.

Yuuri whooped in delight. Now they could fight back!

Anissina eyed the small frowning boy with dark grayish hair, and grinned with her teeth showing. "Heads up, Gwennie!" and threw it with so much force and accuracy a pitcher for the Red Sox would be proud.

Wolfram's head snapped up from throwing a balloon at Yuuri, and sensed the killing intent. Running with the realisation that a Gwendal injured due to the weird rivalry the boy had with Anissina could mean Wolfram losing his job as a worker at the day-care center, Wolfram made it in time to jump in front of a scowling Gwendal, balloon impacting and exploding on contact with his bare back.

He landed on the ground and flopped onto his back, breathing heavily. Anissina shouted in triumph from on top of the monkey bars, before a sneaky attack by an avenging Conrad shut her up.

The rest of Wolfram's side crowded around him.

"Wolf! You okay? You're not gonna die, are you?"

Wolfram smiled his most heroic smile, almost preening at the adoration and worry that poured off the little kids as they stared at him with big, innocent eyes.

"I'll... be... fine. Just remember to... look out for.... each.... other"

He played faint dramatically, barely restraining his laughter at the angry shouts at Anissina and the squeals of worry.

Just when he decided to 'come back from the dead' and shock the daylights out of the children, a jet of water impacted his chest.

Startled, Wolfram straightened up immediately, missing the small "Eeep!" sounds as worried girls who were leaning on his shoulders fell backwards.

Yuuri was there, looking at him with a big, toothy grin, water hose in hand and evil obvious in his eyes.

Yozak, a gangly orange-haired kid Wolfram had always felt an affinity for, sidled quietly to his side and plopped a fat yellow water balloon in his hand. A big blue eye winked, and Wolfram knew Yuuri had missed it, busy gloating as he was.

Wolfram started smiling, and Yuuri instantly knew he was in trouble.

Not instantly enough, as Wolfram's hand shot out, flinging the water balloon at point blank, exploding on Yuuri's face and further wetting every child who stood close to the two.

Yuuri's face was downright comical in shock, and Wolfram and the kids around him started laughing because between the two caregivers, Yuuri always had funnier expressions.

What made it especially memorable was that the tiger face painted on Yuuri's face was dissolving, running on contact with the water, giving the effect of a melting feline.

Wolfram doubted he looked much better. Prior to the water fight there had been a slightly mad body-painting session (With non-toxic paint, of course. Belal was likely to down any liquid his pudgy fingers came into contact with. His mother had apologised for his behaviour profusely after the time the boy pilfered and downed Wolfram's ultra-strong tea and bounced off the walls in a caffeine high), with the small children running around and demanding a body part each from the two adults to draw on.

Which was why Wolfram had a small, badly-drawn wolf on his left cheek and a kiss mark (he suspected Conrad of foul play. The brunet often looked innocent, but was usually in cahoots with Gwendal to make Wolfram do embarrassing things) on his right. The children weren't much better off, having gone wild on each other. Gisela had a red cross painted on her nose and a band aid on the entire left side of her face; Dacascos had accidentally upended a container of purple paint over his head, and was now the proud owner of shaggy violet hair; Belma had gotten her face painted as a big blue dragon by an adept Wolfram (the blue clashed horribly with her burning red hair, but Wolfram believed that cute kids could get away with anything).

Now paint was running off after the water fight, and some of the children ran up to each other and rubbed their cheeks together, giggling adorably at the transfer of colours.

Yuuri had decided Wolfram was too dangerous a target, and was now hosing off any child who came up to him with an innocent face and malicious intent. Wolfram decided that playing with sides really wasn't important, and began taking out tiny, thumb-sized water balloons he had stuffed his swimming shorts full off, hurling them at any non-vital body part that came into view.

The kids rebelled and banded together to attack their guardians. Bare back to bare back, Yuuri and Wolfram looked at their charges warily.

Wolfram groaned when Laila began juggling four water balloons at once.

"And we still have to wash all of them after this"

oOoOoOo

"It'll be fun, you said. They're just kids, you said" Wolfram groaned as he flopped onto the couch, ice pack on his head. Despite being a sporty person, he could get a heat stroke even after just a few hours in mild sun.

Yuuri simply made a consoling noise and sat on Wolfram's legs, ignoring the growl the blond made before he curled up to let Yuuri sit comfortably. Yuuri smiled when Wolfram straightened his legs again and laid them on Yuuri's lap. He rubbed a knee lovingly.

"They had a lot of fun, Wolfram, and you know you don't mind half as much as you're whining"

Wolfram blindly scowled in the general direction of Yuuri's voice. He had taken a couple of aspirins, but still felt like his skin was too hot for him. He would've taken a cold shower, but water was something he had had more of than he could take, today. He felt incredibly nauseous, and the scrubbing action associated with a good cleansing shower could end with him passed out by the drain.

Yuuri had moved on to rubbing up and down his shin by now, other hand massaging his sore, stockinged feet.

"I wish we'd played in the shade though, Wolf. I know it's never fun to be sick"

Wolfram waved him quiet.

"What kind of self-respecting kid would want to roll around on tarmac under the porch when there's grass and swings and sunshine? Not your fault, wimp"

Yuuri didn't bother telling Wolfram that he had just contradicted himself. His boyfriend was cute that way. A naughty idea made its way into his mind, a brilliant way to get Wolfram to feel better as well as a way to tell Wolfram what he had wanted to tell him earlier but had lacked the guts to.

Not that he had lacked the guts to actually do what he did, thought Yuuri wryly.

"Wolf, you might feel better if you take off your jacket. And socks. And maybe put on some shorts. Or just your boxers will be fine, really. I'll go get you something cold to drink, okay?" He leaned a little forward and kissed the elbow of the arm that held the ice pack to that pretty little forehead.

Wolfram grumbled something that might have been an agreement, and proceeded to remove his jacket without moving off the cushions. Yuuri pushed Wolfram's legs off and headed for the kitchen, deciding to pour Wolfram a glassful of his beloved strawberry milk.

When he came back, the blond looked like he hadn't moved from his position, but was now sans pesky clothing. He looked like an advertisement for underwear, but Yuuri knew that Wolfram's skin was too pale to mean that the blond was healthy. He sighed, and poked his shoulder. When the blond sat up with a groan, he handed him his drink and sat in silence while Wolfram downed his glass in one breath.

"Thank you Yuuri"

Yuuri put the glass on the coffee table, before settling into the chair and pulling Wolfram back on him.

The blond nearly purred. No cushion, even if it was made of Italian leather, could beat Yuuri as something to lean against.

"Yuuri... too many clothes"

Yuuri laughed somewhat evilly to himself as things began playing out the way he had planned, and quietened when a green eye slid open and looked at him questioningly.

He pushed Wolfram to the side, and took off his shirt.

Wolfram shoved him down and began kissing him soundly.

And then the plan flew out of his head, because when one was being kissed by Wolfram, there wasn't space in the head to think of anything else.

The blond kissed his nose and smiled warmly. Yuuri had never understood this quirk of Wolfram's, but he never questioned why the blond seemed to have an attachment to his nose, of all parts (Actually, it was because that on a night a long, long time ago Yuuri had nuzzled his neck with that very nose, and smiled his silly Yuuri smile, and said in his silly Yuuri voice, that it was nice how he could find Wolfram even in the dark, how when he thought of Wolfram in his head, there was even a delicious smell accompanying the name. How Wolfram's smell was so incredibly... Wolfram's)

Hands roamed and roamed and roamed; skin was land and fingers insisted on traveling. Neither body minded, obviously, even the heat-stroked one.

And Yuuri was on the stairway to heaven, accelerated, whizzing upwards by Wolfram's touch (maybe it was an escalator to heaven. Wolfram was an angel, wasn't he? He had to have some way to get up there to frolic with other angels on clouds and still be back in time to greet Yuuri with a smile or a secretly-smiling scowl) before it all stopped and nothing was touching him and God, that burned more than anything else they had been doing, even if they both still had pants on.

"Yuuri... One of the kids wrote my name on your hip!" Wolfram rubbed at the slightly protruding bone with a finger, frowning slightly. "It's dried completely, it's not even rubbing off"

"Wolfram-" This was what he needed to tell.

But then, Wolfram's mouth descended and

Oh.

A tongue was not, by itself, an attractive organ.

A tongue was, by itself, incredibly capable of imparting pleasure.

And Yuuri had always been sensitive to everything to do with Wolfram (how could anyone be anything but?), so he felt the warm, wet movement, looping with the curls, ending with a sweet kiss at the full-stop.

The blond looked completely oblivious to the blubbering mass of goo he had made Yuuri into, still frowning.

"It isn't coming out! You know, I bet you it was Antoine. He acts like a blubbering pansy most of the time, but I can see the glint of the devil in his eyes-"

Yuuri couldn't help his laughter; his expression of eternal love, and poor sweet Antoine was suddenly a criminal mastermind.

"It's a tat, yo"

Wolfram's face took on the expression he got when he stepped on something foul.

Yuuri blushed, and hastened to speak normally.

"It's a tattoo, Wolf"

"Why is it my name?"

Yuuri snorted.

"Because I don't need a permanent name tag on my hip"

Those big green eyes he loved more than he had ever loved any pair of eyes in the whole wide world widened.

"Wolf?"

"That doesn't come out you know"

Yuuri groaned.

"Yes, I figured as much when the man put the ink in under my skin. Rather excruciatingly well-made point, really"

Wolfram still looked shocked.

"It doesn't come out, and it's my name"

Yuuri felt fear, cold and twisted and nasty, coil in his gut.

"You... don't like it?"

Wolfram shook his head vehemently, before tracing the cursive writing of his name (tiny Japanese katakana spelling Von Bielefeld under it that he hadn't noticed at first; Wolfram could read and understand Japanese, because he knew Yuuri got a kick out of him reading road signs and making jokes with his mother when they visited Japan) with a look of open-mouthed awe.

"W-Why?"

"I wanted to add "Property of" but just writing your name nearly made me pass out"

Wolfram groaned a heartfelt groan. Yuuri had returned late yesterday, but Wolfram hadn't given it a second thought. The wimp sometimes had errands to run, and sometimes met up with old schoolmates for a night out in town.

"Wimp, wimp, wimp. Stupid, silly, ridiculous wimp" Wolfram was raining kisses on his face now, between calling him names.

Wolfram smiled at him, the smile that was sunshine and warmth and all that was good and right in the world, and Yuuri knew that he'd done good.

"My wimp"

And Yuuri was jumped.

oOoOoOo

"I can't decide"

"Hmmm?" Yuuri couldn't quite string words together right now. Maybe after the world stopped glowing a beautiful gold. Oh wait, that was Wolfram's hair.

Wolfram scowled at him, but they both knew there was nothing angry about it.

"I can't decide if I should get your name or just 'Wimp' done"

Yuuri swung an arm out and wrapped it around Wolfram's waist, dragging him close.

"You shouldn't get any done. People'd kill me if I was the reason your skin got blemished. Plus I don't think I want anyone to get to see your skin. Except for the kiddies when we're playing, but the minute they start staring at you longingly-"

Wolfram slapped Yuuri's head.

Yuuri grumbled and settled back to sleep.

"I'll do it for you, I'll write 'I love my wimp'. Wake me up in 6 hours and gimme a permanent marker, Wolf"

Wolfram didn't think it was bad idea at all.


A/N: Hiya guys! I'm finally free again, but I haven't finished YSTS, so this is a kind of peace offering. I've decided in order to combat my inherent fear of failure, I shall post every single damn thing I've ever written that I'm fond of, t'hell with how much or little it's liked. So expect more of this (I've been doing prompts, all AU. Feel free to request, I'll write what tickles my fancy), and I hope that this wasn't emotionally crippling or anything. Mainly because I really liked it myself :)