Hello!!! Can you believe it's been a year since I wrote Perfectly in the Right Mind? I can't!! It seems like only yesterday I was pulling hairs out of my head trying to write it…haha just kidding. I actually wrote this like in March or so, but didn't get to upload it because I promised my friends she'd be the first to read it…but she was quite busy with school and such and she said it was okay that I uploaded it.
Anyway, I really hope you enjoy this. This was actually suggested by Smart Angel. And I really wanted to do it sooner…actually before I ended PitRM, but I just got so busy…so better late than never, right?
This story takes place after the prologue and into Chapter 1 of PitRM. Here is a quick review in case you're a little fuzzy on story and don't wanna go back and read the big ol' long Prologue:
Yoh and Anna were close as children, but when Anna's mother marries a man named Haijime, things start to fall apart. A year later, Anna's mom dies and then things just get worse. Anna becomes usually quite and Yoh notices that something's wrong, but she won't tell him what. Yoh finally finds out that Anna is being abused by her step-dad father Haijime, and step-brother Kyosuke. Yoh steps in and tries to help, but only to get beaten instead, and later Anna's step-family moves away and Yoh and Anna never found out what happened to the other. Now this story takes place nearly eight years after.
So I hoped that helped rekindle your memory…And this story is dedicated to all those who read and reviewed to Perfectly in the Right Mind, without you guys…this story might not be here!!
Insanely in the Right Mind
Italics = Anna's narration
(*Note: in Anna's narration, usually when she says "you" and "him" she is referring to Yoh)
It seems I have dreamt of him again.
Kyoyama Anna roamed the streets aimlessly. Her face was expressionless and void of emotion; it seems it had been this way for a while and would continue on that way. She had no absolute destination. She turned whenever she pleased and stopped whenever she pleased. But she hadn't stopped in a while. She was weary and tired, but her body urged her to move on. When was the last time she slept? Not even she remembered. She had to keep going, she just had to. Why? Not even she knew.
I don't know why I'm doing this to myself. What is the point of running?
Up until now, she had been living with her step-family. No, she couldn't even call that living. She ran away, far away. She up and left, walked for days without a valuable amount of sleep and hoped that that was enough. She wasn't going to return to her old life. But…then what could she return to now?
My dreams of him won't stop. I tried to, but the dreams keep coming. Even during the day, I see visions of him. And I don't know why. Why…why now of all times to I have to think of him?
My mind wouldn't allow me to speak or think of the chocolate-haired boy who possessed my dreams for the fear of the pain it would bring to me. I would just stop thinking of him all together, but that was completely impossible. I've tired, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't prevent myself from dreaming of him. So I settled with forgetting his name. That way…maybe I could think of him less as a real person, but more as a figment of my bland and deranged imagination.
I would never see him again anyway. Why would there be a need to remember his name?
But. Remembering it wasn't the problem, forgetting it was.
I knew his name well. It was still fresh and crisp in my mind. But given enough time, maybe, just maybe I'll forget.
But my dreams of him won't stop. I don't even think they're dreams anymore. I haven't slept well in days and these "dreams" of mine have just become hallucinations. And even now as I walk down this unfamiliar street, I see him, running around laughing. But in a blink, he's gone. I think I have become officially insane.
It's been like this for a while though. I've been away from him for eight years now, and I absolutely hate that he's affected me so much. But…he was the only one…the only one who cared—Enough of that. He's gone. And he's never coming back.
Anna stopped as she reached a huge city sign that read "Welcome to Funbari!" She had to squint so her tired eyes could read the sign properly. The wind blew and she shivered. She hadn't really paid attention to anything since she ran away. Why did this city sign finally catch her eyes? She shrugged the thought off and decided to keep walking.
I had been wandering aimlessly for so long. But I don't think my body can take much more of this walking. I suppose I could stop in this town. I think I'm far enough ahead to stay here a night or two. I've never heard of this town…and being the dumbass that Kyosuke is, he probably hasn't either.
I still don't know how I did it. How I managed to escape Kyosuke and Haijime is beyond my comprehension. It feels like I didn't really do it. I've tried to run away before, but it never worked. They always found me the next day. But this time…it was different. They passed out drunk, and then I ran. Once I was out of the broken down apartment that was called home, I ran for hours upon hours. Morning came and I kept going; I didn't stop until I was completely out off that dirty, rotten town.
Whether or not Kyosuke would find me is a mystery to me, but at least I have a head start. But what now? What am I living for now? Why am I running all this way and still running? Why do I still have hope? Why am I stopping in this quaint little town?
If I didn't know any better, I'd say it was fate. Fate that let me to run away, fate that brought me to this town. It's a shame that I know better.
Anna stopped in front of an inn. "The En Onsen and Inn," is what the sign said. She looked in her pocket and brought out her wallet. There wasn't a lot of money in it at all, but it should last her at least the night.
She hesitated. She didn't know why. What reason was there to hesitate about? But she had this weird, indescribable feeling about this inn. After she saw a few costumers come out, she decided to go in.
She headed straight for the front desk, but didn't look at the employee. She decided to look elsewhere instead and examine the place.
"Welcome to the En Onsen and Inn, how may I help you?" The employee spoke in a deep tone. His voice oddly sounded somewhat familiar.
"Give me the cheapest room you got." She decided to keep looking elsewhere until he gave her the room she was to be staying in and the keys.
There was a pause. He was probably looking for a room to give her. But the least he could've done was give her a bit of confirmation, couldn't he have? What could be holding him up? Don't they usually have a vacant rooms list?
Her eyes widened as she slowly turned her head towards the boy who spoke her name. The voice was finally recognized in her mind.
That chocolate-colored hair…
These illusions just won't leave me alone. There's no where I can go. I'm always reminded of him. This can't really be him…because the real him is…
She backed away slowly, still wide-eyed. Then she looked down and closed her eyes tightly.
He's gone. There's no way I could see him again. This is just a hallucination.
She shook her head slowly and then turned around to exit the inn.
What the hell is wrong with me? Have I really gone insane?
Anna had to leave no matter what it took. Even though her body was exhausted, she pushed her way through the crowd of people on the street and even bumped into a few. Some yelled at her in protest but she just kept going. She had to.
"Anna!" The chocolate-haired boy called after her.
"Anna! Please wait! Stop walking so fast!"
She complied and stopped.
A hallucination wouldn't follow me this far.
Her face was composed and still void of emotions. She had to be. If she was going to face this ghost of the past, she couldn't risk showing anything. No feelings, no expressions. No attachments.
My mind only allowed me to speak that much.
I turned around to face him. To face this boy who now looks like a man. The boy who's been haunting my mind for the last nearly eight years. This…hallucination that couldn't possibly be here, because I…I thought…
"I thought you were dead."
He seemed struck by what she had said. He was at a loss of words and was visibly struggling for something to say. But he didn't need to say anything.
"I'm glad you're alive." Really, I am. But I can't do this. I can't go back to my past. My past is what I'm running away from. "Excuse me."
"Wait, Anna!" He called out.
Please, stop saying my name. You should hate me for what I got you into.
He wasn't speaking. Perhaps he was too angry to speak? I should've just kept walking, but a part of me wanted to know what he wanted to say. What was he feeling about this?
"…Well, Asakura…?" She turned towards him.
He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He looked as if in a trance, or rather as if he's seen a ghost. "It's just…" he kept pausing and Anna felt like just turning around to leave, "You want a place to stay, right? I own the En Onsen and Inn. I can give you a good deal."
'No. I can't,' is what my mind was begging me to say. There will be other inns or hotels to stay at. I don't need this one, even if he does cut off some of the price. My mind kept begging me not to agree; agreeing will only bring me more pain. I had always hoped to see him again, but never thought I would. Now that I have, maybe I could just settle with that. I don't need to be with him; I just wanted to see him. He's alive, and that's all that's important. I don't need to be with him. I can't be with him. If I were to be separated from him again, the pain would be too much.
My mind and my mouth were in two different places. And I guess my mouth was a glutton for pain.
"Great," he smiled, something I had almost forgotten about. Something I shouldn't dwell too long on. I'm only going stay here temporarily. I'll get a night's sleep and then leave in the morning, before he could even notice. It would be like I was never there.
Anna followed him back to the inn, not looking at him even once. She couldn't give him any impressions, nothing to make him assume anything. She wasn't staying. She would merely be a ghost passing through. But…what was the point said ghost was making? There must've been a reason she was brought here. There's no way she ran to this city and into his Inn on accident is there?
She didn't believe in signs or fate, or anything like that. At least not anymore.
But maybe…maybe I should at least apologize, or say thank you while I have the chance. If I'm only going to see him for today, then maybe I should speak my peace. Or at least leave him a note.
They arrived at the Inn, and he, like the gentleman he always was, opened the door for her. She decided not to think too much of it though and continued to walk in.
"Hey, so it was Anna!" came a deeper, yet familiar voice from the front desk.
"Ah, it's the other Asakura," she shifted her eyes to look at him.
I had almost forgotten about his twin brother. I was never to close to him, but he seemed excited to see me.
"Well, if it isn't he Kyoyama girl," the twin smiled at Anna, "You've definitely grown more attractive these past several years."
A compliment coming from the other? Things have changed, "Well I wish I could say the same for you. What's with your hair?"
"What?" The other sounded offended as he looked at his long chocolate hair, "I'll have you know that the ladies see it as sexy!"
"Tch. If the ladies don't see you as a girl first," I couldn't help but give him some of my old wise-ass remarks. That was a part of my nature that I didn't think would change, "If I was to look at you from behind, I'd think you were a girl."
"What? No way!" The other argued and attempted to continue the argument, but he interrupted.
"Hao," he spoke, "Can you give me the key to room 107?"
"Sure," the other a.k.a Hao said then was determined to get in a last word, "You're just jealous because my hair's longer than yours."
I suppose I should've just asked for my room then and there and left "Hao" hanging, but I couldn't resist but to leave him with a remark to defeat him, "As a man, you shouldn't be proud of that."
"Argh! Anna!" I knew he'd be flustered, "You're still the smart-ass you were years ago!"
"Worse, Asakura," she said, still somewhat expressionless and then turned to the other chocolate-hair boy she was seemingly neglecting, "So, Where's my room?"
"Follow me," he seemed a little upset as he guided her down the hallway.
Hao. I suppose I forgot his name. Well, no, if asked, I could probably remember if I thought hard, but it wasn't an off-hand name I'd remember. And in all honestly, I probably shouldn't have engaged in a conversation with him, but I couldn't help but tease him a bit. It did, though, bring me pleasure to fool around with his mind and make him mad. But I shouldn't have done it, because he was there. I can't let him, the neglected Asakura, get the impression that I'm staying or enjoying my time here. I am a ghost, and nothing more.
He stopped in front of the door, "Here's the key."
She took it and unlocked the door. Then she entered the room and put her bag down.
"Breakfast is from 6 to 9, lunch is from 11:30 to 1 and dinner is from 5:30 to 8:30, 'kay?"
"Got it," I wasn't really paying attention as I checked out the room, but I figured that I shouldn't ignore him.
"Anna…is that the only bag you have?" His voice sounded sad.
"Is that a problem?" I heard a hint of annoyance ringing out in my voice. I didn't mean for it to slip out, but it did.
"N-no, just wondering," he stuttered. It seems I still struck a little fear in him like I used to. I decided to just nod and then close the door.
I leaned onto the door and closed my eyes. He looked so…excited to see me. Then, towards the end, he looked disappointed. But he shouldn't waste his time on me; all he'll get is disappointment.
"—I'm not the same Anna you knew. She's dead and gone. The only thing left of her is a ghost, and a few remains of her insane mind."
I wish I could just say that. But I wish for no attachments. If I told him, he might argue that I'm still alive, that somewhere in me lives the old Anna. He will try…and I hate him for that.
Give up. It's a waste. You're so stupid, Y—
No. Don't say it. If I say it, I'll get attached, because his name means so much to me. Once I say it, it's all over, I will see him as who he was, as who he really is. If I avoid his name, then his body has no name, he's a no-body; a stranger who thinks he knows who I am, but is mistaken.
If I say his name, I will think of him. I will remember him. And I don't need that, I don't want that. I can't have that. What I need is utter isolation from the past, a new beginning, a new identity. Maybe I'll even change my name.
Unfortunately, the first name to come to my mind was Asakura. I had always loved that name…but no. I need something new. I need to be new.
Anna sighed and rubbed her temples. She was starting to get a headache. Then she looked at her bag and her room. A bath and then a nap, actually, a long bath and then sleep, that's what she needed right now. She didn't need to think about what will happen in the future or the past; she needed to think about now and how great it would be to get some sleep.
She gathered her stuff and went to take a bath. She soaked in the water for a long while and forbade herself from thinking about him and Kyosuke, who might be out there looking for her. She did slip up at times and think of those things, but she quickly composed herself and focused on how good the hot water felt. It had been a long time since she took a long bath.
This is how I need to feel everyday. Nice, warm, calm, relaxed. I need to feel like I'm in this bath, getting clean and feeling warm. But…is that possible? Can I ever really feel clean with the things I've done and become? Can I ever really feel warm, when I feel nothing but loathing and distaste?
I need to, but I can't. I would be insane to believe that I ever could. The warmth of a bath always fades, and in a couple of days, I'll be dirty again. Nothing ever lasts, and I'm stupid to think something will.
Anna got out of the bath, went to the room and made her bed. When was the last time she slept in a bed? A nice warm bed? Will she actually get to sleep without any disturbances? She didn't hesitate to find out as she lay down and put the covers over her. The covers smelt good and felt warm, she could really get used to this. She closed her eyes and let sleep take over her.
I was in a field. It had tall grass and stretched as far as the eye could see, and I ran forward. I don't know why, but I had to keep running, there had to be an end to it. There had to be.
"Anna, hurry up!" A voice called out to me. I heard it, but I couldn't see who it was coming from.
"I can't go any faster!" I cried, "I'm tired!"
"Oh, c'mon! Since when did you get tired so fast?"
I stopped for a second and bent over to catch my breath. I looked at how short my legs were and how tiny my hands were. I had been reduced to a little girl again, in my old school uniform.
"You have to keep going!"
"You're almost there!" The voice encouraged.
I don't know why, but I continued to run.
Suddenly, in my view, came a lake, then a tree with many branches. He sat on one.
"C'mon, Anna, you slowpoke!"
"Hey! I'll show you!" I tried to run faster. He smiled and laughed.
As I got closer, he reached out his hand. I was so close. I ran so fast, I almost couldn't stop. I would've ran into the tree if his hand wasn't there to catch mine.
"Come up here, Anna. The view is beautiful!" His other hand reached for mine. With both my hands in his, I used my feet to push from the trunk and he pulled me up. He helped me settle on the tree branch next to him.
I looked at the sun's reflection sparkling in the lake, "Wow!"
"See? Told you it was beautiful!" He just wouldn't stop smiling.
I looked down, and suddenly, we were much higher than I remembered. And the grass was so tall that if I fell off, I knew it would eat me. At that thought, I instinctively held onto him and he wrapped an arm around me.
"It's time to go now, don't you think?" He asked me.
"No," I held onto him tighter, "Not yet."
"Are you afraid of the height?"
"No!" I snapped, "I'm not afraid of anything!"
He just laughed. I felt myself smile.
"Anna!" The voice that called my name gave me chills, "Anna! Where the hell are you??"
"…Haijime…" I said slowly. I held onto him tighter and tried to see where the owner of that horrible voice was.
Suddenly Haijime was below me in the tall grass that seemed so far away, "There you are, you ungrateful little brat."
I cringed at the sound of his sharp voice.
"Get down here now."
I shook my head and held on tighter.
Again, I shook my head.
"Bitch." Haijime said as his arms suddenly stretched and he grabbed onto my foot.
I screamed and as he held onto me, "No, no, no!"
"You're getting down here whether you like it or not!" Haijime yanked onto my foot pulling me down.
But my companion on the tree was holding tightly onto me.
"—!" I know I screamed his name. I just know I did. But I couldn't hear it.
"Anna, hold onto me tightly!" He said as Haijime kept pulling on my foot.
Haijime finally got frustrated and grabbed my other foot, yanking me down. But since — was holding onto me too, he was pulled down as well.
He continued to hold me tightly and refused to let me go into Haijime's hands. I suddenly noticed that he was no longer the same size as me, he was now older. Haijime didn't seem too happy at that and started to curse and then started to beat —.
"Run, Anna," he said.
I shook my head.
"Run, Anna," he repeated, and for some reason, I complied. I ran. I don't know why. My head was screaming to go back, that I couldn't leave him there, that if I left him there, he will die. But my legs and feet didn't care, they just kept running. In that tall grass, I ran as hard as I could.
I cried and screamed out his name, "—!!!!————!!!!!!" I screamed as hard as I could, but I still couldn't hear myself.
The grass just seemed to get taller and taller until I couldn't see where I was going anymore, and soon, my feet were no longer touching the ground. My surroundings turned black and I fell.
"—!" I screamed one more time as I closed my eyes. I could see his beaten face, and Haijime and Kyosuke laughing at me. Their faces got bigger and bigger until I thought they were going to eat me. I screamed and screamed but nothing helped and nothing came out. No one could hear me, not even me. I think I was drowning. I think I fell into that lake and was choking on the water, but I kept falling. And his face kept flashing in my mind. I should've done something, but it seems all I could do was run. It was all my fault.
Finally I saw something at the end of my black abyss, a hole of light that looked eerie. The light was not inviting, it hurt my eyes and I tried to use my hands to shield them. Then I noticed that my hands were bigger, I was older. I looked down and noticed that I was naked and at my current age. As I fell, I started to turn, head first into the light. The bright, ghostly, uncanny light. I screamed.
Anna awoke to a knock on her door, "Are you all right, Miss?!"
I really screamed?
"I'm fine!" I snapped and sat up. I was out of breath.
"O-okay…" It must've been one of my neighbors who heard me. I was told that when I have nightmares, I talk in my sleep. I guess this time was no different.
Anna buried her face in her hands and moaned. How was she going to live with these nightmares?
She got up and headed to her bathroom to wash her face. On the way, she looked at the clock: 8:00. She had actually slept longer than she wanted to. She wanted to wake up at 6 o'clock and leave the Inn, but instead took her time on much needed sleep that now she wished she didn't have.
As she washed her face, her stomach growled. She moaned. When was the last time she ate? "I think he said something about breakfast goes until 9 o'clock…" she said quietly to herself as she went into her room to gather her clothes.
I shouldn't have stayed here. This was the most intimate dream I've had with him in it since who-knows-how long. Usually it's just a vision of his face or him running around, but we've never interacted with each other. And now that I've seen him again, there's no doubt that I will get more dreams like I did last night. And I can't help but wonder…does he ever dream about me? Honestly, I was surprised yesterday when he remembered my name. Why would he want to remember me?
He's too good for me. I should not get involved with him again.
Anna was done getting ready and decided to grab some breakfast before the diner part of the inn was closed. As she made her way down the hall, she hoped that she would not run into him or his brother. She knew that he wouldn't force her to say anything if she didn't want to, that was his nature. But the brother, his nature was completely different. The brother would ask her questions until she was forced to slap him. And she was ready if need-be.
"H-hey, Anna! What's up?"
Just my luck. He is here.
"I'm going to get breakfast." I couldn't face him right now. If I ignored him, he might get discouraged.
I always thought that. But, was it ever true?
Anna continued on into the diner to eat. She tried to avoid people and to eat quickly. Afterwards, she retired to her room and watched T.V. something she hadn't done in a long time either. There were a few some that were entertaining, and a certain soap opera that she found herself reluctantly getting into.
She definitely wasn't used to this "normal" life. There was so much and so little to do all at the same time. After a while she decided to step out and explore the inn very carefully. She didn't want to run into anyone.
Upon Anna's exploring, she found the staircase to the roof. She climbed up and opened the door. It was much windier then she expected, but the view was absolutely beautiful. She walked up the edge and the railing and looked down. She was so high up, if she jumped, there was no way she'd survive. She held tightly onto the rails. The height reminded her of her dream, except he was not there for her to hold onto. If she was pulled down, she was pulled down. No running.
Why? Why did he have to be so daring…so nice? Why did he have to care when no one else did? Did he feel obliged?
Anna sighed and looked down one last time before deciding to head back down stairs.
A couple of days passed, and Anna found herself still staying at the inn. Day after day, she would tell herself that it was her last night at the inn, but she found herself sleeping in later and later. Her mind kept telling her that she needed to leave, that that was the right thing to do, that there was absolutely no reason for her to stay. But her body betrayed her. Her body refused to get up on time or make the effort to gather her things to leave. Her mind wouldn't let her admit it, but she liked staying at this inn.
There were a few times she ran into him but she always cut their conversations short. She did feel bad…and honestly, she did want to talk to him, but she couldn't allow herself. He was to be involved in her life no more. He would only get hurt, probably in more ways then one. He might even be hurting now because of her coldness to him, but she had to. If she didn't, there was a possibility that he would hurt more. So she had to be distant. She had to…and she had to keep telling herself that.
I won't crack like last time. Last time, nearly 8 years ago, I cracked and told him about my step-father, he got involved and beaten. I thought he was dead…and I'm not going to scare myself like that again. Knowing he's a live should be enough, and I should leave it like that before he becomes too involved again.
Lately, I have been dreaming of the past. My dreams have been pleasant for the most part, but then towards the end, they spiral downward. Some start off with me and him as I remember him, others start off with me and him, but as he is now; like some kind of hopeful future for us.
In all, my dreams haven't changed too much; he was still the main character. The things that have changed since I came here, is that my dreams of him are more intimate, I wasn't so distant from him it seemed. But there was always something to tear us apart in the end. If I believed in signs, I would take this as one. It was our fate, our destiny, to be separated.
But I always wake up thinking, "I miss him." I have to remind myself: this is for the best; for the both of us.
Anna was on the roof again, it seemed to be the place to go when she wanted to clear her head. She leaned on the rails and knew that the subject of him could no longer be avoided. No matter how many times her mind tried to warn her and avoid the subject, she knew she had to face him someday or another, so, why not sometime soon? But what could she say? There was nothing she could say that he wouldn't respond to. Nothing with him could be quick and easy, he had to make it last for what it's worth, if it was worth anything. He was so annoying that was, so persistent. Why couldn't he just let her go? Why couldn't she just say her peace and leave? He always had to be difficult.
She'd never admit it, but she wouldn't rather have it any other way.
Anna saw a bright light reflecting off of the buildings and realized that it was sunset. A nostalgic sensation ran over her, sending shivers down her spine. She leaned further onto the rails and rested her chin on her arms. She watched the sun until it was all the way down and the sky turned color. She sighed and figured it was time to go back before it got too dark.
She took her time getting back to her room; there was a lot to think about, and no reason to rush. Once she got there, she put her hand on the door and her other hand in her pocket for the keys.
"Anna, can I talk to you?"
My body went rigid at the sound of his voice and my name. I guess the time had come. I turned toward him nonchalantly, "Now?"
"Yes and this time I want more than 5 words," his face showed that he was serious.
"Well, haven't you gotten more demanding?" I pulled the key out of my pocket, "How was that? That was 6 words."
He looked a little displeased, "Anna, I'm serious, I need to talk to you."
"What is it then?" I asked indifferently, I wanted him it spit it out, to hurry; I need this to be over with.
"Why won't you talk to me?" His eyebrows furrowed while he talked, "What's happened over the years? Are you mad at me?"
"I'm not mad at you," I mumbled as I turned to my door. Me? Mad at him? It should be the other way around. Why was he still trying? He knew how to get things out of me…I can't let him know…I don't want to hear this. It was the things he said like this that always brought down my defenses, "Besides, this is not your business."
"It is not, Asakura!" I said all too quickly, hoping he would not further pressing questions…but I knew him too well.
"I think I have the right to know why you talk to everyone but me! Wasn't I your best friend once?"
The key in my hand jingled when I almost dropped it, and the grip on my door became loose. This can't be avoided. It would probably be better if I just entered my room without another word. But I knew he'd still press on. Even if it wasn't tonight, he might be at my door tomorrow. That was just who he is. So stupid.
"All I'm asking for is an explanation," his voice was calm and somewhat gentle; "I wanna know why you're mad."
"I told you I'm not mad," my voice almost didn't come out.
"Then why won't you talk to me? I know that you were probably mad that I didn't listen to you all those years, but that's not a reason to hold a grudge for that long; even if you are "The Kyoyama Anna". And I'm really sorry if my meddling made your life worse. But I want you to know that I don't regret protecting you. I would do it again if I had to. I'm just sorry if protecting you somehow made your life worse…"
"It was worse, but it would've happened either with or without you," I quickly unlocked the door and slid it open, "But I would've rather been beaten, then sit there helplessly and watch you get beaten because of me."
…so stupid…The both of us.
"I want you to stay out of my business this time," I entered my room, wanting to hear no more from this foolish chocolate-haired boy, "I don't…I don't want to feel guilty anymore. Just please stay out of my business…and you won't get hurt."
I started to close the door, but his hand was on it and stopped me. He had a determined smile on his face, "Anna. I will never just stand there and watch you get hurt. I made you a promise, and I will keep it. Kyoyama Anna is entitled to happiness too. So I'm sorry, but I'm not going to mind my own business. You can be as distant as you want, but that won't change my mind."
I closed my eyes and sighed. I'm so tired of arguing. There is no way to get rid of him. "Do whatever fits your fancy. It's your life you're wasting."
He smiled as I closed the door. "Goodnight Anna."
"Goodnight……" I could feel a small smile come to my face as I breathed out the next word, "…Yoh."
It was almost as if I could feel Yoh's smile widen.
That was his name. My mind finally allowed me to say it, and for the next few times I said it, it couldn't be said without a smile, almost non-visible smile. But I could feel it. It was there.
Letting me say Yoh's name would be a lot less stressful, and I tried to warn him off. I tried to push him away. But that was just how Yoh was. And he wasn't going to change, so why should I try to make him.
I must be insane. I cracked again. I would've thought I'd know better by now. My mind was disappointed in me, it blamed itself for not being strong enough…strong enough to go against my heart. But strangely, it was proud of itself. It was happy to let my fond memories have a name. And it felt renewed. I must be Insanely in the Right Mind.
Well, its not exactly what I hoped…but I hope you still liked it!!! Sorry if it was a bit confusing with the "he" and "him" and all that. As I'm sure you could tell I didn't want his name to be said until the end.
It was kinda hard to end this chapter because I like ending on a "good" note…but as many of you might remember, the chapter after this pretty intense, especially with Anna. And doing the next chapter might be pretty interesting…but I don't think I'll do it. After doing this, I thought that maybe doing the story with her narration would be fun….but that's just too much, don't you think? Luckily this chapter was only 16 pages…XD
Anyway!! I hope you enjoyed it!!! Hopefully it won't be too long until you hear from me again!! I'm currently working on some fics, I just want to make sure I've got everything planned out and such before I upload it.
Please review!! I LOVE those!!! I hope you enjoyed!! Thanks so much for reading!!! See you next story!!!