Author's Note:

The idea of this fanfic based on fanfic "Edward's Buried Secrets" by arwa in Edward and Bella's fanfiction site. The original fanfic is complete, but I asked the author to write the alternate continues for the title because I saw a lot of possibilities includes some 'jitters' that happens to almost married couples. I also put some of qoutes and storyline from the original fanfic for you, readers. This fanfic follows after the events in "Edward's Buried Secrets."

The plot is following the end of Eclipse but mostly out of official Eclipse's plot. As usual, I didn't own the characters, events, or settings. It was just an idea of a story.

I know maybe some of my readers don't approve Edward had a story with another girl. It's just a story, though :)

Please R&R!


"And that girl, Clemence, how did you meet her? When? And why you never told us about her?"
"I met her in Egypt in 1920s, she was English!"
"And you had an affair?"
"Sort of"
"She left!"
"I met her again 8 years later in England…"
"but… how about Bella" all The Cullens turned to me, my face turned red, as I knew it had no expressions "I thought she was the first real love you had!"
"Bella is the only real love I ever had" Edward emphasized, looked at me and then turned his head to explain "I thought and believed I was in love with Clemence, but it was just a foolish small passion, that time killed it! I loved her, but it wasn't the same as Bella's"
"Why? Because she never loved you?"
"No…because the thing between us was never meant to be!" Edward stood for a moment, thinking, and quietly continued "Maybe, because I never loved her enough, I was angry and grieved when she died, but it wasn't because of great Love loss, she was a good companion, a friend more like!"


Chapter 1 - BPOV

I laid on my bed motionless. It's been a day since Alice and I just went back from England and it has been two days since I first encountered Edward about a paper I found in his bedroom. I still couldn't forget the words from the paper, it has been written in early 20th century style, so modest, too far away from my handwriting. I could guess this girl from Edward's past was beyond my reach.


Why didn't Victoria or The Volturi killed me right now so I won't feel this sadness, this pain of being betrayed? Albeit Edward already explained that the story between him and Clemence (I supposed that was her name) was just a past, but I still remember how the look on his face when he saw Clemence's painting in England. Sometimes I wonder if he ever looked at her the way he looked at me right now.

I closed my eyes and sighed, remembering the first time I realize I got the paper..


Every time I enter the Cullen's house, I get this awkward feeling. It's just too mysterious. I mean it doesn't look like those houses of the devil like the stories, but still, I mean I still remember the room Edward showed me when he told me about the history of Carlisle, now that one was interesting. Edward's room is sort of mysterious, but it's mysterious in a normal way, but I like it.

I've decided to wait for him in his room, I thought it's perfect for it makes me think about us. He has changed some few stuff since I last entered it, still looks good though. While I was trying to close the window (the wind was kind of cold) I noticed a big weird object on the new table beside the window.

The object was as I suspected a huge box that looked ancient, not vintage, but rather antique. It wasn't locked, so I took the liberty of opening it and looking inside, to find it was nothing but books and documents. They looked like literature books or rather history, there were about a dozen books, I couldn't presume anything familiar from the titles: "the lost memoirs of Luke Richofious' 'the memoirs of John McRickon' 'Edward Yollinkaus' 'Matthew Curdrew' and there was one that looked different and even bigger "the tragedy of a thousand years". Accidentally while was holding the latest one I drop a little piece of paper, cut in a half with few typed words on it:

'Dearest Edward,

I love you and you have to be aware of my affections for you! I had come to a conclusion that I should be aware of the circumstances of my decisions.

I know that you love me, I have your voice echo in my heart everyday! I had received your offer and promised to come back. I considered living with you and promised I would make a proper companion.

It was never my intention to break my promise, but sometimes faith leads you to unpredictable positions.'

That all was written, I stood for a moment thinking about it, what could be this, Who sent this one, how come Edward never told me about it, am I too stupid not to know. I felt betrayed.

Suddenly Edward walked in, "Bella! What you're doing here? I told you I'd be waiting in your room!" and he rushed giving me one of his sweet tender hugs, until the sight of the paper I was holding interrupted him.

"Of course you wanted me to wait in MY room so I won't see THIS!"


"Edward what it's all about?"

"it's… it belongs to the past"

"A past you never shared with me?… who is she?"

"An old… acquaintance" he said that as if he was looking for some more casual word.

"Acquaintance?! Do I look stupid Edward?"

"Bella! It's not how it looks like! She belongs to the past!"

"Yeah… sure the past… was it 50 years ago?"

He just looked at me.

"Why you never told me about it, I've been thinking you would never hide anything from me…and this" I throw the paper "what it was all about?…"

He stood there calm as ever, then he picked the paper, placed it inside the open book it fell from, and he put it down on the table.

He looked at me, and then bowed his head down, as if he was trying to think of an apology, explanation or excuse, I couldn't tell. At that moment I thought he's not ready to explain, so I took the first move and walked home, and wished he would at least say a word to stop me.


All the ideas of getting married or set a plan for my eternity seemed gone. There was still a stab in my heart when I heard that he was willingly to turn that girl to a vampire to be with him, the opposite way for me. Is it because he loved her more than he loved me?

It was already two days we didn't spend our time together. He never showed up in my room, which unnaturally I was grateful because I still didn't know how to react if I saw him right now. Alice always kept in touch with me, seeing me everyday in our last days of school. I guess she worried about me.

Knock! Knock!

I heard a knock in my room. I opened my eyes and looked at the door.

"Come in."

The door cracked open and I saw my dad's head popped up from the door.

"Hey, there. Are you alright?"

I tried to smile although it failed miserably. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"You didn't seem fine to me, Bells."

I sighed and got up when my dad came inside.

"Wanna talk about it?" He sat in my bed.

"It's not that hard."


"Is it something to do with Edward? Did he leave you again?"

"Ow, Dad. Get real. Why would he leave me if Alice kept seeing me everyday at school?" I tried to be reasonable.

"Yeah, you're right."

I sighed. "It's just something personal. That's all. The wedding jitters, I guess."

My dad chuckled. "Yeah, right. I can see that. They said you finally know the other side from your soulmate just before the wedding."

I laughed silently.

"Is it that bad?"

I sighed. "Not that bad. More like 'I knew him better now'."


"I'll be fine, dad. I was just about to sleep. I have to prepare for school final documents tomorrow and my recommendation for college. Also I have to set things up at Newton's before I go."

My dad sighed. "Okay, sleep well." He smiled and got up from my bed.

I curled up in my quilt after my dad left, trying to sleep.

The next morning came just like I was expected. I couldn't sleep so I looked terrible, of course. I got up, changed my clothes and have some short breakfast. My dad already went for work so I was alone. After I locked my front door, I went to my truck. Hopefully it still made to the school.

The school was not too crowded, only some students who mostly complete their papers for college. I parked among the cars and noticed the yellow Porsche among them.

I sighed and opened my car. As usual I fumbled with my key but I saw a quick flash of white hand retrieved it before I do. I jumped and saw him. He looked like Greek-God, as always, but his eyes, although it's light gold but full with sadness and concern.

"Hi," He said.


He gave me my key and I took it. "Thanks." I looked over the Porsche, "So, are you riding with Alice?"

He smiled. "No, I was running here after I saw you left for school."

"Oh." That was all I can say.


I sighed and looked at his eyes. "How you been doing? I missed you. Are you still mad at me? I'll do anything to fix it. Anything."

I couldn't find my voice.


I gulped. "Edward, it's too much for me. I need some time to think. I'm sorry."

Quickly, I turned around and it surprised me I didn't trip. I kept my pace and wipe a tear in my cheek.