This is just a little one-shot I made for Honeyfern, 'cause everyone's doing it, and I'm still not over her death. So, this is Honeyfern's journey to StarClan.
Honeyfern opened her eyes.
What happened to the pain? she thought. Shouldn't there be much more pain? Leafpool can't stop pain...
Why didn't she do anything? She didn't even send me on my way to StarClan...she just said "Goodbye." Why didn't she at least try? She could have tried...but I guess that doesn't matter now, since I'm okay.
Honeyfern got to her feet and looked around.
This isn't Leafpool's den...
It was a starry forest, where the very leaves on the trees glowed with tiny pinpricks of light.
I remember Poppyfrost's dream when she had greencough.
This was StarClan's forest.
"Honeypaw--er, Honeyfern!" A gray bundle of fluff shot out of the undergrowth and bowled her over.
"Molepaw?" Honeyfern meowed, perplexed. "You're...you're dead!"
Molepaw looked at her. "Yes," he meowed, bemused. "How are Poppypaw and Cinderpaw?"
"Poppyfrost and Cinderheart," Honeyfern corrected.
"Yeah, that's right." Molepaw scratched behind his ear. "How's Cinderheart? Is she fulfilling her dream of being a warrior?"
"Yes," Honeyfern meowed suspiciously. "But so did Poppyfrost and...and me."
Molepaw kept scratching. "Yeah, but still, you know. Cinderheart's a reincarnation of the crippled Cinderpelt. She wanted to live the life she hadn't been able to, so she came back as Cinderkit. Or, Cinderpaw, or, Cinderheart."
Honeyfern gaped at her brother. "Really?"
Molepaw nodded. "Oh, yeah." He mrrowed. "And I thought she was just my annoying little sister!" Then his gaze clouded. "Er...big sister now."
"Why am I here?" Honeyfern demanded.
Molepaw looked at her sadly. "You're dead, Honeyfern."
The forest around Honeyfern spun. "D-dead?" she repeated. "Dead?"
"Yup," Molepaw mewed cheerfully. "But StarClan's not all bad." Then he looked closer at Honeyfern. "You want to be with Berrynose, don't you?"
Molepaw shrugged. "It's something you get used to. I liked Hazelpaw, but...then I died." Molepaw shook his head. "Come on, I have a friend I want you to meet. He has annoying little sisters, too!"
Molepaw led the dazed Honeyfern through the forest, with so many twists and turns that Honeyfern thought she would never be able to find her way back. Finally, Molepaw brought her to a clearing, where she gasped.
Thousands upon thousands of cats milled around, talking and playing and eating with each other. Apprentices play-fought, kits bounced around warriors' paws, and leaders stalked about regally through their midst.
"This is my friend," Molepaw called to Honeyfern, bounding away to stand next to a gray tom that looked almost exactly like him. "This is Spiderleg's littermate, Shrewpaw."
Shrewpaw dipped his head in greeting. "Hi, Honeyfern," he meowed kindly. "How are Spiderleg, Birchfall, and those two younger ones?"
Two gray kits jumped around Shrewpaw's paws. "How's Birchkit?" they asked Honeyfern excitedly. "Is Birchkit still okay?"
"He's Birchfall now," Shrewpaw meowed gently.
Honeyfern responded to Shrewpaw. "The two younger ones are a tom and a she-cat, named Foxpaw and Icepaw. They're pretty good apprentices, and they're doing well in their training."
"That's good to hear," Shrewpaw mewed, and Honeyfern couldn't hear a trace of jealousy in his voice. "I like it when my brothers and sisters are well."
"Spiderleg is a father now," Honeyfern continued. "He mated with Daisy, and he has two kits, Toadkit and Rosekit."
"Toadkit and Rosekit," Shrewpaw repeated. "Yes, I like those names. And I'm happy to be an uncle now."
Honeyfern felt her heart nearly burst in sadness. Another cat taken before his time, she thought. "And Birchfall is nearly a father, too," she added. "He mated with Whitewing, and by the size of her, I'm guessing she's going to have about two kits."
Now Shrewpaw's gaze clouded with sadness. "That's nice," he mewed. "My little brother is growing up." He looked at the starry sky wistfully. "With the she-cat I wanted."
Honeyfern felt even more pity.
"She said she'd wait for me," he whispered.
Honeyfern wrapped her tail around his shoulder. "Don't you want her to be happy?" she soothed.
Shrewpaw nodded. "Yes. As long as she's happy, I'll be happy." He suddenly shot Honeyfern a hard look. "Which means you'd better do the same for Berrynose, if he finds someone else."
Honeyfern nearly choked. "He--he won't find anyone else," she croaked. "He--he'd wait for me."
Shrewpaw looked at her sympathetically. "That's what they all say," he meowed sadly.
Molepaw flicked his tail impatiently. "This isn't a time to make Honeyfern even sadder," he scolded Shrewpaw. Then, speaking to Honeyfern, he mewed, "There's more cats I'd like you to meet."
Honeyfern and Molepaw walked away, as the two she-kits next to Shrewpaw started mewling loudly.
"Birchkit's gonna be a daddy?"
"Didn't you like Whitepaw?"
"Ooooh, Whitepaw's pretty!"
Shrewpaw gathered them in his tail. "Now, Hollykit, Larchkit," he mewed gently, "their names are Birchfall and Whitewing now. And yes, they are mates, and Birchfall's going to be a father."
"Yay, Birchkit!" Larchkit squeaked.
"I hope he names them something nice!" Hollykit squealed.
Honeyfern and Molepaw threaded their way through throngs of starry cats, in which a few cats usually said welcome. Honeyfern felt her heart nearly break. I don't want to be welcome. I just want to live.
Finally, Honeyfern and Molepaw found a small pool of water. Two cats were crouched over it, one a dark gray and the other a sooty black.
"No," the gray one meowed. "This shouldn't have happened. Not after Molepaw. Sorreltail couldn't take any more after Molepaw."
"Yes," the black one agreed. "I gave my life to protect those kits, hoping that they'd have a happy life. And now this."
"Hello!" Molepaw called. The two toms started, then turned around.
"Uncle Rainwhisker?" Honeyfern meowed.
Rainwhisker's face split into one of sad joy. "Honeyfern." He came up to her and licked her over the ears. "I've been watching you in the pool. I'm very proud of you and your sisters."
The black tom came up to stand next to Rainwhisker.
Honeyfern dipped her head. "You must be my Uncle Sootfur."
Sootfur nodded. "Yes," he meowed. "I'm sad that I never got to see you alive. I was protecting the nursery when a badger broke both of my back legs. The last thing I remember hearing was Sorreltail screeching in pain."
So many cats killed before their time, Honeyfern thought.
Rainwhisker nodded. "I know the pain you feel," he meowed. "I, too, was in love when I was killed."
Honeyfern started. She didn't know that. "With who?"
Rainwhisker shot a meaningful glance at Sootfur. "Whitewing."
"I was also in love with Whitepaw when I was killed," Sootfur added.
"She is pretty," Molepaw meowed wistfully.
Rainwhisker cuffed Molepaw over the ears. "She was much too old for you," he chided.
Honeyfern sighed. Whitewing, though, had never loved them back. She and Berrynose had been so close...so close...and then came the snake.
Rainwhisker read her thoughts. "The snake is still a threat," he meowed, "but not right now. It is safe for now, at least, so you don't have to worry."
Honeyfern lowered her head. "What would have happened if I hadn't sacrificed myself?" she asked quietly.
Sootfur sighed. "I suppose you should know. But it won't make you happy."
"I want to know," Honeyfern whispered.
Sootfur averted his eyes. "Lionblaze would have killed it. It wouldn't have gotten to Briarkit, Lionblaze would have killed it first."
"So Briarkit, Lionblaze, and I would still all be alive," Honeyfern breathed, "while the snake was dead."
Honeyfern wailed in despair.
Rainwhisker, Sootfur, and Molepaw all closed in on her, giving her comforting licks and nuzzles.
"All I wanted was a mate and kits," Honeyfern cried. "Why did StarClan take it away from me?"
"StarClan had no control over that," Rainwhisker meowed comfortingly. "StarClan would have let you live, if they could do anything about it."
"And Berrynose will join StarClan someday," Molepaw added.
Honeyfern whirled on him. "But we'll never have kits," she grieved. "I'll never be a mother. Never."
Rainwhisker looked at Honeyfern. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
"Come on," Molepaw meowed, looking up at Honeyfern's shivering body. "You can walk in Berrynose's dreams."
"Really?" Honeyfern immediately perked up.
Molepaw nodded. "But only once for just a visit, and only with one cat. See, you can't just walk in dreams unless you're giving an urgent message. So if you want to see someone, you can only do it once. You can choose now or later, but still, only once. You won't be able to talk to them until they join StarClan. You will be able to watch them in the pool, though. I already used up my dream. I knew Sorreltail was really sad, so once I died, I went in her dream and told her that I was okay and happy in StarClan."
Honeyfern nodded, already making up her mind. "I want to see Berrynose. Now."
Molepaw shrugged. "Okay. Just look in the pool, wait for them to fall asleep, then go through the pool. You'll get into their dream."
Honeyfern rushed over to the pool that Rainwhisker and Sootfur had been looking in. She saw her body, and Berrynose sitting over it, looking at the stars.
"He'll be awake all night!" she groaned. "I won't be able to visit him!"
Molepaw looked at Rainwhisker and Sootfur. They nodded. Molepaw padded up to Honeyfern.
"You can go in now," he whispered. "You'll appear, as a transparent starry form to him. But he'll be able to hear you. No one else will see you, though."
Honeyfern immediately dove into the pool.
She was standing on top of her limp body in the middle of the camp. Sorreltail, Brackenfur, Poppyfrost, Cinderheart, and Berrynose were the only ones left by her. Her mother, father, and sisters were on her left, their pelts pressed together for comfort. They didn't even notice her. Berrynose was on her right, and his head shot up in amazement.
"Honeyfern!" he yowled, standing up. Honeyfern looked around nervously, but no one seemed to know. The whole camp had frozen in time.
"Honeyfern, you're alive!" he cried, throwing himself at her. Before she could say anything, he passed right through her.
"Honeyfern?" he asked, his enthusiasm vanishing.
"Berrynose." Honeyfern felt like she was going to choke. "Berrynose."
They stood facing each other.
"You're a StarClan cat, now, aren't you?" Berrynose meowed quietly. Honeyfern nodded. He let out a yowl of grief. "Honeyfern! Honeyfern, why? Why did you have to die?"
Honeyfern shook her head. "I had to save Briarkit. When we had greencough, she was like my own kit to me." A wail rose in her throat, but she forced it down. "She was almost like our own kit."
Berrynose hung his head. "Honeyfern, I love you," he whispered.
"I love you too, Berrynose."
"We'll never have any kits together," he croaked.
Honeyfern looked at him. "Berrynose, you don't have to wait for me," she blurted out suddenly.
Berrynose's head jerked up sharply. "What?"
"I said, you don't have to wait for me," Honeyfern meowed. She was finding this easier to say than she thought. "You're free to love any other cat while you're still alive. I don't mind. I don't want you to think you're betraying me. I'm..." Honeyfern sighed. "I'm setting you free."
Berrynose looked at her in horror. "Honeyfern, no, don't go!" he yowled.
Honeyfern looked down at herself to see she was fading.
There was a rush of wind. The ThunderClan camp vanished, and Honeyfern was back at the side of the pool.
"I wish I had more time," Honeyfern murmured. But she felt strangely happy. She was no longer strangled by sadness.
She had set Berrynose free.
Light on her paws, she set out through the many StarClan cats to search for her grandmothers, Frostfur and Willowpelt.
This story made me cry. WAAAAAAAA!!!! I'm going to start a new Honeyfern story. It's going to be sort of like the story In The Starry Night, which, btw, you should totally read. But it's going to be different in a surprising way...DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUN!!!!!! Anyway, sob sob, hope you enjoyed. Review!