Title: "He's Got The Brains Alright..."
Author: g_girl143 / gwendy Rating: PG 13 Summary: Penny is disappointed when Sheldon's idea for a first month anniversary was a brain scan.
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or the series A/N: I did not do much research on this so if there are medical discrepancies, forgive me. Just bear in mind that this is a fanfic ;)
A/N: Hello guys! This is my first completed S/P fic (I say completed because my first S/P fic is still unfinished). It started off when I was signing up in the questionnaire for the 1000 fans and I thought it was a good idea. BTW I did not do much research on this so if there are medical discrepancies, forgive me. Just bear in mind that this is a fanfic ;) Oh, and I didn't have a beta and English is only my second language so please bear with me if you see any grammatical errors.
I checked the mirror twice to make sure my hair was in place. I'd put on a nice, floral dress, which would've been conservative if it hadn't been for the neckline that showed a generous amount of my cleavage. My make up, though simple, was done masterfully. Not too bad, if I do say so myself, although I had no idea why I even bothered. Sheldon Cooper's never been the type to notice pretty women...not even his own girlfriend.
I'm talking about yours truly of course.
I sighed. If anyone had told me that I, Penny, the aspiring actress/Cheesecake Factory waitress from Omaha Nebraska would be dating the pompous, arrogant theoretical physicist next door, I would've told them they were out of their mind. But maybe I was the one who'd lost mine. Why in the world am I dating Sheldon Cooper, PhD? On the surface, we're worlds apart. He's a genius with an IQ pushing 200. I never graduated community college. Heck, Sheldon and I don't even get along most of the time. But I suppose it had something to do with his three-month stint in the arctic. I had missed his knocks, his intrusive questions, the diverse vocabulary that flowed effortlessly from his mouth, though it took several more months before I even accepted the idea that I could fall in love with Sheldon.
It hadn't been easy. His visits to my apartment had become more frequent, but he never asked me out or anything like that. Just spent more time with me playing video games, cooking, and watching TV and movies. It was torture, I tell you, to be so close to him yet never be able to do anything about it. I'd tried the usual tricks I did with guys to see if they liked me, like standing or sitting close to him all the time, touching his arm, his hands, laughing at his jokes even though I didn't understand a word, but I realized then Sheldon wasn't a normal guy. In fact, he seemed not to notice how I've been coming on to him, until I finally gave up.
Then, one day, during a heated Halo battle in my apartment, he had asked me if I would be his girlfriend.
I had dropped my controller, and in minutes, my character's blood was spattered all over the TV screen. "What did you say?"
"You heard me," he had said without taking his eyes off the screen. After a press of a button and the explosion of a plasma grenade, he had turned to me, his blue eyes intense and serious. "I propose that you and I enter into a relationship. Not like the one we are on right now, but the 'next level', as it is more popularly put."
The next word out of my mouth had been "Why?"
"Why?" He had arched one brow, the way he usually did when he deemed people to have asked a stupid question. "I would hardly call the current intensity of our friendship as platonic. We've spent an ample amount of time together, and have altered our daily routines to achieve that. And I noticed you have grown quite infatuated with me, which is not surprising. I am, of course, of a superior mind and therefore would be a viable mate for a female such as yourself."
I was pretty sure my face had burned back then. "Infatuated? Me? With you?"
"Is it not true?" Two brows had risen to Sheldon's hairline. "Because I've been given to understand that when a woman stops whatever she is doing to entertain a man, she is therefore interested. I first noticed this when I asked you to take me to the comic bookstore, despite your still memorizing your script for that play. And again, when I asked you to assist me in a quest in Age of Conan, even though you were still folding your laundry. Both times, you acceded to my requests without protest. So, I conducted an experiment and asked you to pick me up from work, though I knew for a fact your shift hadn't ended."
I never really knew until that day how much shock a human body can take. "You experimented on me?"
"The results were conclusive." He had shrugged his little Sheldony shrug, which had left me unsure if I wanted to hug him or strangle him. "You picked me up without complaint. Twice. Then of course, there's the constant physical contact and your laughing to jokes I myself find no amusement in. That had been my second experiment. From what I have read, women respond positively to what they would assume as comedic stimuli of the sighted male, despite its lack of sense. You laughed at no less than five of the corniest physicist jokes I've come across."
I hadn't been able to respond to that. But let me tell you, embarrassment and anger are two things that should not mix, because they tend to build up on each other until you feel as though you could kill anything within grabbing distance.
Sheldon had been in the line of fire, and if he hadn't said what he said next, I might have done him in.
"Be that, as it may, Penny, I have also grown fond, if not equally fond of you as you are of me. Which brings me back to my proposal..."
I had still grabbed Sheldon then...and shut him up with my mouth. And after several moments of kissing (I didn't know until later it had been his first kiss, and wished I could've been a little slower. He looked traumatized), he had asked if that was a 'yes.'
I smiled at the memory. That had been exactly a month ago, and I had agreed to take things slow. Sheldon even made me sign a contract, but I didn't mind. This was Sheldon Cooper, the genius who was so far removed from society, he had resorted to experiments to see if the blonde girl next door liked him, and offered for her to be his girlfriend without indicating he had liked her all this time. My Sheldon Cooper, always full of surprises. He was sweet even without intending to be. That was the trait I found most endearing, though at the moment, that wasn't in my thoughts.
It was, as I mentioned, our first month anniversary. Raj, Howard, and especially Leonard hadn't been too happy about my relationship with Sheldon at first. Howard had even bet we wouldn't last a week. He ended up paying Raj a hundred dollars after Sheldon and I went out to dinner for our second week. Leonard didn't speak to us for days, but eventually warmed up and now, he's dating Stephanie again.
Okay, I'm getting a little sidetracked. About my anniversary date with Sheldon...well, I'm really hoping today would be the day I turn him into a 'man'. My make out sessions with him had told me he was a virgin. He had explained how he had never thought of sex as a form of recreation, and believed it to be a complicated, time-consuming process, except when it was with me. He had driven me wild when he said that, and if I hadn't been bound to that contract, I could've resorted to rape, for lack of a better word.
Then again, I had managed to weasel out a change before I signed it. I had him add a clause, in which after a month, if I was successful at 'slowing things down' (that meant I would not initiate. I'd have to follow his schedule for 'physical intimacy'), the contract would be null and void. Either that, or he would have to allow me to call him 'Moonpie', especially when we were making out. I'd never seen Sheldon revise a contract so fast.
In a few hours, at 6:17PM, which is roughly two hours from now, I would have the pleasure of tearing up that contract. I was growing giddy from all the things I could do to Sheldon. All the things he could do to me, all the things I could teach him. Sheldon was a really, and I mean a REALLY fast learner, and he tackled kissing and petting like he did with science: with passion, vigor and concentration.
I don't think I need to elaborate on how eager I am to tear up that contract.
Minutes later, I heard Sheldon's three successive knocks, followed by my name. I giggled and let him finish his knocks before flinging the door open. I was about to hug and kiss him when he held up a hand between us.
"There is still one hour and fifty-three minutes to the end of the contract. Should you not hold your end of the deal, there will be heavy repercussions."
"Yeah. Heavy." I let my arms drop to my side and smirked. "That means no sex for Penny and Sheldon. Boo-hoo."
Sheldon's brows knitted. "Was that sarcasm?"
I rolled my eyes and stood on my tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. This, I was allowed. "Oh, honey. You still have a lot to learn. Don't worry. I'll behave for the next one hour and fifty-three minutes."
"It's one hour and fifty-one minutes. We've wasted two minutes on trivial conversation." He harrumphed, and I would've been pissed if he hadn't offered his arm to me.
"So..." I threaded my arm through his as we made our way down the apartment stairs. "Where are we headed, Dr. Cooper?"
"To the hospital," he flashed a grin, and I should've known it was an omen. "Today, you're taking me there to have my brain scanned."
I waited on the bench, bored to the point of insanity. It wasn't the first time I had to accompany Sheldon for a brain scan. He'd always been fearful of one illness after another, particularly towards his most prized organ, which was another thing that set him apart from other men. His prized organ lay between his shoulders, not his legs. I wondered if Sheldon had his brain insured, but I didn't want to give him any ideas if he hadn't.
I looked at the clock. Only fourteen minutes to the end of my contract, and Sheldon still hadn't come out. Did he even care, that I had prettied myself up for him? That this was not how I wanted to celebrate our first month together? Or has he completely forgotten? But Sheldon's not the type to forget. Maybe he didn't care at all...
My dark thoughts disappeared with Sheldon appearing from the door of the neurologist's office. He had a large manila envelope with him and an equally large grin on his face. Not the creepy one I had heard Howard and Leonard mention with fear (I was fortunate enough not to have seen it yet), but the kind of grin he got when he was excited about something.
He sat beside me and pulled out the slides from the envelope. I tried to stifle a groan. I already knew what was coming. He was once again, going to explain about the complexities of the brain, how his was brain was superior to a normal human s, and to sum it up, just how fascinating and beautiful his brain is. Obviously, I'm not very happy.
"I want you to look at this." He pointed to one of the many shots of his brain. For the life of me, I couldn't understand why he would think I'd find this interesting.
"Sheldon, honey, I've seen your brain a dozen times." I handed back the slides, but he shook his head.
"No, no, no. Look. See that brain activity there?"
"There's no activity," he said in a tone he normally reserved for reprimanding.
I stared back at him. "No activity? You're saying your brain's not functioning?"
"Not func..." I watched Sheldon take a breath and glare at the ceiling, the way he did whenever he was trying to calm himself. "Penny, you should know by now brains do not cease to function while the individual is alive. But I suppose I should start explaining from scratch."
I groaned. "Not again."
"Hush, hush, hush, hush, hush!" he said in a breath, and pointed to the slides again. "This is actually not one of my usual brain scans. This is a specific test to monitor the activity of my brain's oxytocin and vasopressin receptors in response to certain stimuli such as thought processes."
I had to ask. "What?"
He looked impatiently at me, but explained anyway. "Oxytocin and vasopressin are hormones released by the hypothalamus into the brain whenever a human is within close proximity, or is engaging in thought processes relating to a person or thing they desire. Oxytocin in particular is released after engaging in sexual intercourse, and depending on your genes, may be released by mere thought of coitus to someone you are deeply attached to. An increase of these hormones will give the person a feeling popularly known as falling in love. The more oxytocin and vasopressin produced, the more the aptly named receptors are activated. And this here..." he pointed to where it showed the most activity, "...was when I thought about you."
My breath caught, and it took a few more moments for me to swallow and turn to Sheldon. His blue eyes were intense on me. "Honey...did you just tell me you love me?"
"I don't see how I could've made it any clearer," Sheldon huffed, his lips twisted to convey either boredom or annoyance. "Why else would I drag you all the way here on our first month anniversary? I'm showing you the actual brain scans and yet you don't believe me. Perhaps I should have a second scan or--"
I didn't let him finish. Once again, I shut him up with my mouth, my hands on his face, keeping it there as I intensified my kisses until both us were out of breath.
I mentioned before Sheldon was sweet without intending to be. I mentioned before it was what I loved most about him. And this, this brain scan, weird as it may be, was the sweetest thing he had ever done for me, and I am once again reminded Sheldon Cooper is not like other men.
Other men say I love you right off the bat. Sheldon Cooper gives you slides of his brain to prove it.
I stopped kissing Sheldon and pressed my forehead against his. I would've thought this moment was perfect, when I looked at the clock and realized what I had done.
It was still 6:15PM.
"Oh no..." I moaned, and let him go. "I broke the contract."
"Not necessarily," Sheldon said, and showed me the second surprise of the day: the contract, torn precisely in the middle. "The contract expired the moment I tore it at 6:09PM, which is about five minutes after mylast scan showing the highest level of brain receptor activity."
I smiled, and once again, pulled Sheldon to me.
Didn't I say my Sheldon Cooper was sweet without intending to be?