Disclaimer: I don't own Code Geass. Technically, I don't own the line "Everybody wants to rule the world," as that probably belongs to Tears for Fears.
Pairings: KallenxCC, shoujo-ai, onesided?, and assumed LelouchxCC
A/N: The settings are R2 episode 22 and in-between the two seasons. Kallen-centric; her mindset before she realized she had misunderstood Lelouch (and I like to think that she did in the end). It's been awhile since I watched Code Geass, so I might have some things off (then again, those things might be intentionally skewed). It's quite possible the characters are OOC. Pretend with me!
Those were lips that had once touched the witch's; those were hands that had once felt forbidden skin, forbidden to all but Zero, forbidden to the hands of another woman. That was a body that had once loved the witch, a body that was entwined forever with the girl named C.C. Those were eyes that had seen all of C.C., eyes that belonged to her, eyes that would always connect him to C.C.
Those were all things Kallen knew she would never have.
It was betrayal, in a way, betrayal in both her and Lelouch. She coveted what he had, what she could never have. He held in his hands a power to change the world, to bend time to his will, but more than that, he could hold C.C. in his arms, forever and ever and ever. And yet he chose to waste it.
Lelouch did not deserve all he had been given. He did not deserve a drop of it. He did not even appear to realize the weight of it all. He wanted to use his power to take from others, to bend people's hearts and minds to his will, to rule the world. Everybody wants to rule the world.
What good is the world when you can't even appreciate the things you already have?
Kallen didn't want the world. She had her ideals, yes; she wanted to be free of Britannia. Mostly, she just didn't want her brother's death to be in vain. She wanted to believe he had died for something. She wanted to believe Zero had the power to change the world. She wanted to believe that power couldn't be tainted. She wanted to believe Zero wasn't human.
The things she wanted most in life belonged to Lelouch.
C.C. never smiled. C.C. rarely spoke. C.C. walked beside Zero, a beautiful unknown walking with the embodiment of ideals Kallen held so dear. A flicker of green hair caught Kallen's eye and the redhead would look up right away, would watch the enigmatic witch float elegantly through the room.
Kallen hated her. And then Zero vanished and C.C. was the one who could get him back. C.C. was not a threat to Kallen's ideals; she was an asset.
She didn't like to think of people as assets, but C.C. wasn't really a person to her at first. C.C. was an unknown, and so she was still a threat, because no one knew anything about her, no one had any defenses against her. Zero approved of her, so she was protected by an unfailing wall, and yet nobody could protect themselves from her. She was a witch. She was a nobody. She was feared.
Fear and hate bled into a soft admiration. It was difficult to admire someone apathetic, but Kallen liked to think she could hear a heartbeat faintly thumping in the witch's chest.
She liked to think she could see a person inside Zero's witch.
Kallen entered the room, feeling the weight of the hollow void, feeling the emptiness crashing around her. She wanted to sleep, because sleep took the sinking feeling away, if only for a few hours. She wanted to sleep because for a little while it could be like Zero never left.
Her eyes widened, filled with rage and confusion. Sitting on the bed's edge, hunched over in an uncharacteristic way, green hair drooping in her face, was C.C. Her golden eyes were listless and far away; even as she turned to gaze at Kallen, the redhead could tell easily that she was seeing something else, someone else, someone very far away.
C.C. wasn't going to speak, and Kallen knew this, but she could not bring herself to say anything. Her legs wobbled weakly, beads of sweat rolled down her back. Her eyelids sagged. Forcing every heavy word, Kallen finally shattered the eerie silence filling her room.
"What are you doing here?"
C.C. tilted her head to the side, her hair following. The eye contact was broken. Her eyes flickered with some unintelligible emotion, and then they glazed over once again.
"You knew him," she said.
Kallen narrowed her eyes wearily, but began to peel off her clothing. C.C. remained unfazed, her gaze still trained on the wall. Kallen suddenly felt self-conscious and so her movements became significantly uncoordinated. Clad in underwear, she tripped over the clothes she had tossed to the floor only moments before. She crashed to the ground with a thud and noises of displeasure.
She blushed when she looked up to see C.C.'s eyes on her, curious and calculating. In a fit of desperation, Kallen rushed to say something, anything at all, that might take the attention away from her embarrassing fall.
"I don't like you."
It was definitely a smile on C.C.'s serene face. Although it was the prettiest thing Kallen had ever seen, C.C.'s smile was sad, lonely, pining. Idly, Kallen found herself wondering what it was C.C. was waiting for.
"I can see why he likes you," C.C. murmured, and her smile slowly dissipated. Kallen pulled herself to her feet indignantly, red hair frizzed sloppily around her face, giving her a frenzied look.
"Get out!" she barked, pointing at the door for good measure. C.C. tilted her head again and then rose slowly to her feet. She moved toward the door like silk.
"As you wish."
The door was open. Kallen rushed into her self-proclaimed bedroom, exhausted yet again, hair sloppy and eyes half-lidded.
C.C. was lying on the bed, hair splayed around her messily, entirely exposed (her clothes were on the floor, mixed in with Kallen's dirty laundry she had neglected to pick up this week). Her body would have been perfect if not for the scars.
Kallen blushed again, and she could feel the heat of her cheeks. Internally scolding herself, she stared at C.C.'s eyelids, shivering at just the memory of the empty eyes laying beneath. She approached the bed, determined at first, but then her determination dwindled. Anger boiled and died. Kallen reached down discreetly to shift C.C.'s bangs away from her forehead, to better see the mark. Despite herself, Kallen allowed her finger to trace the familiar design.
"Where have I seen you?" she whispered, and was then embarrassed with herself for talking to a tattoo.
Her eyes lazily scanned the witch's sleeping form, and for the first time since she had seen C.C., Kallen felt powerful. There were no walls to protect C.C. This was equal ground.
She stripped and formed a bed of sorts with her dirty clothes and lied down on the floor. C.C.'s hand hung off the edge of the bed, pale and delicate. Kallen's eyes didn't leave it until she fell asleep.
C.C. wasn't so bad when she acted like a person.
Green hair whisked by, and Kallen stared. The redhead sat on the edge of the bed, peering up at the almost surprised C.C. dancing through the doorway.
"You're early," C.C. said simply, and she began to take off her clothes. Kallen continued to stare, knowing she didn't need to disguise it.
"Are you going to sleep here every night?" she asked. C.C. did not reply; with an extreme lack of poise only Kallen had been introduced to, she flopped down onto the bed and curled up.
But Kallen knew she wasn't the only one who had seen C.C. so unguarded. Zero had seen her. Zero had seen all of C.C., hadn't he?
She, too, curled into a ball, using the space C.C. did not take up. C.C. must have felt her bold stare, for golden eyes gazed down at the redhead curiously. Then Kallen pulled herself upright, crawled over to C.C.'s bare body, and hovered over the witch. The air was shared.
"Why?" Kallen inquired, feeling very dominant. She lost herself in the witch's vacant eyes and was thus overthrown. C.C. threw the redhead onto the bed and straddled her, lightly pinning the other girl's arms against the mattress. She did not really need strength. Kallen would not fight her.
C.C. leaned down, pressing her forehead against Kallen's. Kallen's breath hitched.
"You knew him."
"Lelouch, tell me why—" Why are you so ungrateful? Why are you throwing all you have away?
"Nice to meet you." Everything was always just a game. Lelouch was always playing games. "Do you mind if we take the long way around?"
His footsteps echoed. They thundered in her ears. He has everything. He has her. "Nostalgic, isn't it?"
She almost hit him. Instead she said, "I'm grateful for what you did." He had once upheld her ideals. He had once used his power to protect the things she held dear. It was better to thank him now.
Her eyes narrowed. "What are you really trying to do?" What are you doing? Don't you see I want what you have? Don't you see I would give anything to have it? Has it ever meant anything to you? She couldn't look at him. If she did, he would see how much she hated him. "Do you want more power? Do you want to be superior to everyone else?" She paused, fists clenching. "Or is this just a game to you?" It was one thing if she was just a pawn, a tool. It was another if…C.C.…
Kallen turned around. Hardly composed, she looked Lelouch in the eyes, the ones C.C. gave him. "What does she mean to you?!" She grabbed a fistful of his robe, pulled him closer. "You had better be grateful. You had better appreciate her."
She kissed him, because his lips had touched C.C.'s, because she was indirectly taking what Lelouch did not deserve, what she wanted from him more than anything else. It was the only piece of C.C. she would ever have.
Lelouch looked surprised. When Kallen pulled away, he almost spoke, but he was silenced by the raw fury in her glare.
Lelouch had C.C.'s lips. Lelouch had C.C.'s honesty. Lelouch had C.C.'s trust. Lelouch had C.C.'s body. Lelouch had C.C.'s mind. Lelouch had C.C.'s heart. Lelouch had time, Lelouch had memories, Lelouch had C.C. Lelouch had everything.
"The things I want most in life belong to you."