Disclaimer: I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya.

If I were God
By Silver Sailor Ganymede

"Wouldn't it be nice to be God for just one day?"

I was used to Haruhi making odd statements, but this one took even me by surprise. It had come completely out of the blue – and, perhaps most shocking of all, for once it wasn't the beginnings of some crazy scheme to track down aliens. At least I hoped it wasn't.

"Why do you say that?" I asked.

"Because then I wouldn't have any trouble trying to get espers or time travellers or aliens to contact me," Haruhi replied. "If I were God then all I'd have to do to find some interesting stuff would be to tell the interesting stuff to come to me. Life wouldn't be so dull then."

Privately I didn't think life was boring at all: then again maybe that was because the aliens, espers and time travellers Haruhi so desperately wanted to see wouldn't leave me alone for five minutes.

"If I were God I'd get espers and the rest to come and make my life interesting," Haruhi said, "But what would you do if you were God?"

"I'm not God," I replied. "So there's no point in even thinking about this kind of stuff."

Haruhi groaned, "You're such a bore, Kyon! I'm not talking to you now if you're gonna be boring." With that she stormed off ahead, leaving me to walk on my own.

So, Haruhi wanted to be God? I couldn't help but think how very ironic this was. If only she knew the truth…