A/N: This fic was inspired by the long running joke/theory that Bill Adama is a gay eunuch. There are no particular spoilers, but this fic does contain some sexual content that is certainly not appropriate for all readers. Be warned.
Disclaimer: The characters are the property of Ronald D. Moore and the SciFi channel.
"I swear to the gods, that quorum has used up the last of my patience."
Even as she cursed the quorum, Laura was thanking the gods for Bill Adama and his door, which was always open to her.
"Sounds like reasonable cause to airlock the whole bunch," Bill replied, his eyes smiling even as he kept his lips in a stern line.
"And what would you tell the press after you did so?" It was idle chatter now, something to say as she not so subtly eased into his space, kicking off her shoes and moving towards the couch.
"That I was simply fulfilling my commitment to the health, wellbeing, and satisfaction of the president."
"My satisfaction? Really?" She has to quirk an eyebrow at this one. Bill merely smiled and handed her a glass of ambrosia.
"Of course," he took a sip of his own drink and abruptly changed course. "So what treachery have they come up with now?"
Laura bit her lip in frustration. Bill was a great flirt, but he always managed to pull back just as things were getting interesting. But not today. Today she was going to call his bluff.
"You know Bill; I must admit I have a few doubts about your…ability to follow through with this commitment to my satisfaction."
Laura squirmed a bit under Bill's questioning gaze, but she was not about to let go of this.
"Well, it has crossed my mind that you might be gay, or a eunuch. Or both."
She finished her outrageous statement with an apologetic smile, but Bill was not amused and choked on his drink as he attempted to respond.
Laura smiled again and shrugged.
"I know, it's crazy right?" she replied lightly. Then her voice became serious. "But I do think they're valid assumptions given our history and the number of times you've passed on a free frak."
He was so distracted by her serious tone that he completely missed the fact that she was baiting him.
"Did it ever 'cross your mind' that I was just being a gentleman?"
"Oh Bill, stop using that excuse. At some point you moved past being a gentleman and right on to being a coward."
Bill's eyes bulged at the word 'coward'. Laura noted his reaction and called him on it.
"Well if not a coward, then a gay eunuch is still a valid assumption."
"Laura," Bill ground out his words slowly, his frustration palpable, "I assure you that I am the farthest thing from a gay eunuch."
Laura's eyes narrowed.
"Then prove it."
If Laura had known that a simple blow to his pride was all it would take for him to drag her to his rack, she would have tried it much sooner. As it was, it took him all of five seconds for him to process her words, and no time at all for him to accept her challenge. In less than a minute, Laura found herself flat on her back. Not the worst place to be, she decided, especially as Bill seemed to be taking her challenge quite seriously.
After depositing her on the mattress, Bill pinned her there by straddling one of her legs as he quickly removed his uniform jacket. As soon as his jacket and tanks had been thrown to the floor, Bill shifted his attention to the buttons on her suit jacket. Laura assisted him as best she could and when he had ascertained that she was willing to remove her own blouse, he took a moment to remove his boots and then his pants. Laura was pleased to note the tenting of his boxers; they were off to a good start.
Once the majority of their clothing had been shed, Bill turned his attention back to Laura herself. After gazing at her body for several long moments, he looked up to meet her eyes and Laura felt a shiver of anticipation run through her body; they were no longer playing around. This had suddenly become very serious business, and Bill was very much in control.
Keeping their eyes locked, Bill moved so that his body covered hers. His hands caressed her arms and then pinned them in placed above her head. Only when his hips had aligned with hers, and there was no way she could deny the hard evidence of his arousal, did he kiss her. His mouth covered hers firmly, his tongue sweeping across her teeth and stroking her own.
Laura's fingers, freed as Bill's own hands moved down to stroke her breasts, wound themselves into Bill's hair as the kiss continued. She moaned when their lips parted, but he ignored her and moved back until he was able to undo the fastenings on her skirt and pull it down her legs, followed quickly by her panties. She expected him to give some attention to her sex, clearly swollen and eager for attention, but he pulled her in for another kiss instead. His smirk against her lips gave away his teasing intentions; the fabric of his boxers brushed ever so slightly against her clit as he held himself above her, eliciting a quiet gasp.
"You have a few words to take back," he told her, his voice a low growl in her ear.
"Make me," she hissed, and used her feet to remove his boxers, pushing them down his legs.
He groaned as her bare thighs rubbed against his and did not hesitate before grabbing her left leg and moving it over his hip. Positioned, he rubbed his cock through her wetness only once before pushing inside. She grunted and dug her nails into his shoulders, but shifted her hips to help him penetrate her even deeper. He paused, and then pulled out partway before thrusting in sharply. She cried out this time, and again with every thrust.
"Ready to take it back?" His voice was strained; the words spoken even as he brought their hips together roughly.
"Mm, not yet," she whispered.
He kissed her, stealing her breath as she gripped his shoulders and met his hips with her own. She was close; the rhythm she had set with her counterthrusts was becoming erratic.
So he stopped, still inside her. Bracing himself on his forearms, Bill stared down at her.
"Laura," he said, as calmly as he could manage as he trembled above her, close to his own release. "Take it back."
She shook her head stubbornly and shifted her hips so that the sensitive bud of her sex was pressed up against his pelvis.
"Take it back," he repeated, and pulled out enough that their hips were no longer touching. She groaned and threw her head back in frustration.
"Okay, okay," she relented. "You're not a coward."
"And you're not a gay eunuch."
He thrust back into her as she finished speaking.
"Damn right," he grunted.
Their movements fell back in synch, her hips rising to meet his, and after a few minutes Laura's head snapped back against the pillow as she found release. Bill followed her seconds later and, despite his best intentions, collapsed on top of her.
"Satisfied?" Bill asked, after rolling off of her and taking a second to catch his breath.
"For the time being," she told him, her voice still raspy from lack of oxygen.
"I serve at the pleasure of the president," he told her.
"Good to know," she replied. "I have a few requests to make. I'll expect you to see to them in, oh, about an hour or so."
"Thank you, Admiral."
"My pleasure, Madam President."
"About damn time."