Kenny sat on the swings in South Park's only park, pushing himself back and fourth with the scuffed toes of his boots. A white cigarette rested loosely between the fingers of his right hand, and he was bent over a heavy hardcover book that lay open across his knees. He turned the page, and then stretched, arching his back against the slate gray sky.

"What are you reading?"

Kenny turned around, and saw the Mole standing behind him. He sat down on a vacant swing, and wrapped his fingers around the chain.

"The bible," said Kenny. "Don't look at me like that. It's for my comparative religions class. I have to read the Book of Job by Wednesday."

Mole looked at him like that. "Why did you sign up for a class about religion?"

"I thought it would be easy. Who knows more about that sort of shit than I do? But they got it all wrong. My teacher never even mentioned the luaus. They should let me teach the class. I mean, I've actually met God." Kenny dropped the butt of his cigarette into the bark chips under his feet.

"You never told me zat."

Kenny shrugged. "He dropped by hell to see how Satan was getting on without Saddam, and ended up staying for dinner. He hogged the salt. You're right about him. He is a bitch. He made humanity on a bet." He looked at the book in his lap. "I think he has a gambling problem. He's Buddhist, but just because he thinks they have the coolest robes. And he only lets Mormons into Heaven."


"I didn't ask." Almost as an afterthought, he added, "I did ask why I die."

Mole hesitated before asking the question. "What did 'e say?"

Kenny shot Mole a crooked smile. "He said he was drunk when he made me. Explains a lot, doesn't it?"

Instead of answering, Mole pulled a box of cigarettes out of his pocket. He lit a cigarette on the burning tip of the one in his mouth, and handed it to Kenny. The boys smoked in silence for a long moment, before Mole pulled the cigarette from between his lips.

"I can't believe your teacher never mentioned zee luaus."