don't own Ashes to Ashes

Warning: Smut, and potentially offensive material ahead. Short and shameful weekend One-shot. Enjoy ;)


He knew that they were both going to hell after this.

When he was a lad, his Mam told him two things; don't play with your food, and never swear in Church.

Well, he might not play with his food, but, if the string of obscenities that left his mouth when Alex Drake was going down on him in the empty, silent Church was anything to go by, he was destined for Satan's fiery pit, with a huge flaming trident shoved up his arse for the whole of eternity.

If he was honest though, there were worse things to go down for; and besides, technically, if his memories of Sunday School held true, there was no commandment about sex in Holy places... there might be something about pre-marital sex somewhere, and divorce too, probably, which meant he was pretty much out on his arse as it was, but he didn't think the words 'thou shalt not shag on Holy ground' had ever been scratched into stone... which meant really that, while he may well have been distracted during Chris and Shaz's vows by the sight of Alex's cleavage in that purple dress as she stood behind the blushing bride, and whilst he may also have dragged her somewhat inappropriately from the photos after the compulsory few, he was not really living in sin...

Even if she did have her mouth wrapped around his length in the back pew of a Church which had only half an hour ago been full of people wishing the happy couple well.

And it wasn't his fault, really; if the Lord himself hadn't decreed that Sunday was a day of rest, he might well have worked off all of his pent-up frustration and been able to wait, at least until they got to the reception, before dragging her away to a dark corner... It didn't matter that Sunday was six days ago, and he'd been away on work; it was one less day of shag-time, so he really, honestly, could not be held accountable, not at all.

None of it -none whatsoever- was his fault.

It was her fault, for looking so bloody delectable in that knee-length, low cut dress that made him want to bend her over the nearest surface and hike it up around her waist and have his way with her. It was most definitely not his fault she had an arse that called to him like a bloody magnet. Nor, he told himself, was it his fault that when the priest started talking about being united in body the only thing he could humanly think about was exactly that; uniting himself and Alex in body, right there in the middle of the church.

If you thought about it, the stupid priest should learn word things differently if it was that much a sin, right? Of course, he hadn't actually said that Chris and Shaz should unite right there on the altar steps –thank God! - but it was all insinuated quite plainly that, once they were man and wife, they could do whatever the hell they wanted, wherever the hell they wanted... so if him and Alex were married now, would that make this whole 'unity' thing less of a sin?

Anyway, Gene reasoned, the man upstairs was all about expressions of love and faith and hope and whatever else, so surely he should welcome Gene physically expressing his love of Alex right there in the middle of his church? It wasn't like he wouldn't be able to see him doing it elsewhere anyway, was it? If he could see everywhere, then Gene could lock Alex away in a dark, windowless room, and big G would still be watching on his cinema screen up in the clouds. So really, there was nothing sinful about it... just the small problem that, if the priest were to walk in, he would most probably turf them out and send the Devils curses down upon them.

But, as long as the Man of the Cloth stayed at bay long enough for Gene and Alex to finish, Gene really wouldn't care.

So as he pulled her upwards, away from the gloriously hard, aching erection between his legs, and laid her out along the bench, lifting one of her legs over his shoulder in order to grant himself better access, he assured himself he was not committing any sin by enjoying the body of the woman he loved... in fact, he thought, he was doing Him upstairs a great service, because, after all, he knew what a demanding, stroppy cow she could be when she didn't get hers – it wasn't fair to subject anyone, even the Almighty Father himself, to that.

"Gene," Alex murmured as he slid into her, "shit, Gene..." He let out a soft moan, bending over her, hand under the v of her dress, toying with her nipples beneath the lace of her bra, mouth teasing over the soft skin of her neck, breath heavy on her warm flesh. Sliding against her, he brought her mouth to his, slipping his tongue into her mouth against hers so that they tangled sensually against one another, breathing heavy as his hips moved slowly against her, one of her legs wrapped around his back.

"We're going to 'ell, Bols," he told her softly, hand squeezing her breast gently.

Alex grinned dazedly up at him through her pleasure. "In that case," she said, voice low and sultry, "can you go faster?"

Gene groaned, wrapping his arms around her and pushing her dress higher up around her waist, vaguely aware that he still clasped the knickers he'd torn from her form before sliding into her in his left hand. He gulped back the grunt of delight that threatened to burst forth at the thought of her swaying her pert little derriere around the reception with nothing beneath her skirts, then began to power into her, hips blurring as her body clenched down on him, fingers clawing his back as she whimpered and moaned beneath him. "Yes," she gasped, "yes... oh God..."

"Mmm... might need to beg His forgiveness after this, Bolly..." his breath was heavy as his mouth latched onto her neck, nibbling, licking and suckling as she continued to writhe willingly beneath him. He paused in his assault on her neck to murmur gruffly in her ear, "bu' not before you beg me for something!"

Turning her head, Alex caught his mouth with hers, devouring him, tongue duelling as she pressed her hips up to meet his rhythmic movements. "What shall I beg for?" She whispered, teeth catching his lip.

"Anythin'," he grunted, "I'm feeling Saint-like an' generous."

She grinned reaching down to cup his testicles teasingly, brushing against the base of his member, buried as deep as he could go between her thighs, causing him to tense and groan into her neck. "Saint-like?" she whispered, meeting his hips thrust for thrust. "That's... interesting..." a low moan passed through her lips before she whispered, "because I'm feeling like a horny Devil..."

Gene gasped, stilling himself, hands clamping down on her waist as he met her eyes with his, blazing lust echoed in them as he tried desperately to calm himself down. "You wanna be careful talking like that in a Church, Bols," he murmured, moving slowly again. "Man upstairs don't like that sorta chat..."

Wiggling her hips up at him, Alex smiled, ignoring his statement and saying, forcefully, "fuck me, Gene."

Gene groaned, still buried within her, trying to concentrate on the floral decorations attached on the opposite pew... unfortunately, they were unfocused and blurry, so instead, he closed his eyes, grinding out his reply. "Beg me."

"No," she said softly, "because if you don't fuck me, I'll get up and leave you in the House of God with a hard-on the size of Mount Everest."

He growled, bending down to nip on her ear hard with his teeth, but not arguing as he drove into her forcefully, nailing her against the hard wooden surface of the bench, sending her body sliding along it with the depth and strength of his thrusts, hearing her shouts and whimpers and moans as she called to the heavens. In minutes she was tightening, head thrown back, hair in disarray, dress bunched up beneath her breasts as he reached between their bodies, squeezing and caressing her tight bundle of nerves, feeling her body tense and tighten, quivering in an erotic haze before him, just as his own orgasm was torn from him in a white-hot wave of bliss.

"JESUS! SHIT! OH GOD!" Alex shouted, her voice echoing in the architecture of the building as the last crest of pleasure crashed down on her. Gene, face buried in her neck, chuckled in amusement, drawing out of her and murmuring to himself.

"Not quite, Bols, not quite."


As he watched her right her clothing, red with a full-body hot flush, her hair delightfully dishevelled and her lipstick beautifully smudged, he wondered how long it would be before they were missed at the reception; it had only been forty-five minutes, he reasoned, and dinner wouldn't start until at least half 4... They had another hour before they absolutely HAD to be there, and in any case, he didn't think he'd quite settled his lust for her yet, and nor had the novelty of having shagged her in a church yet worn off.

"I'm suddenly a devout follower of Christianity," he growled, pulling her flush against him, eyes dancing wickedly, "and I believe, as a newly formed Man of the Cloth, there's an altar I'm meant to be worshipping at..." With a grin, he caught her lips in his, pressing her into a nearby alcove and kissing his way slowly down the V of skin at her neck, falling to his knees and lifting one leg over his shoulder once again, pushing the dress up high enough that he could see the bare, un-knickered beauty of her. With a wicked grin, he muttered, "hallelujah!" before plunging his tongue into her wet heat.


When they eventually arrived, it was quarter to five; Alex had insisted they go back to their house so she could sort out her hair, resulting in an inevitable third round before they finally tumbled back into the Quattro, speeding across town to Luigi's and stumbled into the reception in time for the main course.

Ray leant across to Gene at the top table and muttered, "what kept yer, Guv?"

With a devilish smirk in Alex's direction, Gene muttered, "spiritual epiphany, Raymondo."


Later, as he held Alex close during the last song of the night, he grinned down at her, whispering in a quiet voice that only she could hear, "might 'ave to say a couple o' prayers fer forgiveness tonight Bols..."

She grinned. "Or we could just skip right ahead to the punishment?"

Laughing, he pulled her close.

If he was going to hell for shagging her, at least she'd be sharing his eternal punishment.


I am silently ashamed that my head thought this up, but once it appeared it wouldn't go away! Sorry if anyone was offended by this! I shall do my best to reign in the thought-devils in future!

Mage of the Heart