This story started as a joke on a message board. It is meant to be fun, and not taken seriously. I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it.
Neither the Supernatural characters, nor the Scrubs characters are mine.
After hunting the ghost of a pissed off Star Trek fan (Star Trek experience wasn't so great for him), Sam ends up seriously injured. While in the ambulance, they get news that all available hospitals are closed to trauma, except for Sacred Heart. Sam is rushed into the hospital, still unconscious, and taken into a trauma room. Dean tries to push his way into the room, but is stopped by a Doctor.
Doctor: Hold it right there, princess. Where do you think you're going?
Dean: That's my brother in there, I need to be with him. And why is everyone calling be princess all of the sudden?
Doctor: Well, I don't know, Suzy/Brianna/Charlotte. Maybe its because you're just so pretty.
Dean: Look here, Dr...(stretches to see Doctors id card) Cox. Seriously, Dude, your name is Dr. Cox?
Dr. Cox: Duuuddee. You got some paperwork to fill out. I've got some work to do on your "brother."
Dean looks about to say something, then heads over to fill out his paperwork. Meanwhile, Sam is moved from the trauma room up to the intensive care unit. A resident and his interns, working rounds, approach Sam's bed. Dean is still in admitting, arguing about their insurance.
Resident: OK, who here can tell me...(gazes off to the left and begins thinking to himself. This next bit is all in his mind. "And that's when I wondered, do Unicorns really fart rainbows? If so, I bet that would really hurt. But it would be so pretty...)
Intern: Dr. Dorian!
JD: Wha?! Denise, what was I saying?
Denise: This stiff's, I mean, patient's, brother is here.
JD: Right. Mr. McGillicuddy. Huh, like Lucy? Do you love Lucy? You don't really look like a McGillicddy. More like a Smith, or Ross,
Elliot, comes up behind the two: Oh, I know. You look like a Winchester! That's it, like the brothers from those books. Mmm, those men are hot.
Dean: Are you kidding me? Is everyone here a comedian?
JD: Well, since you mention it, I have been practicing a bit of stand up. Tell me, how do you feel about this joke. A man walks into a bar and
Dean: I hate it.
JD: But I didn't finish the joke! How can you hate it? *looks ready to burst into tears*
Dean: Because you're telling it. I hate it.
Elliot: Great, now you've hurt his feelings. You're going to have to apologize, or you'll never find out how your brother is doing.
Dean, under his breath: If I hadn't been to hell, I would swear I was there now.
JD: What was that? Did I hear an apology?
Dean: Will it make you go away?
Dean: Then, yeah, OK.
JD walks off in another one of his daydreams:
*JD dreams he is in the book Supernatural, taking on the role of Dean, while Turk is Sam. They are hunting the woman in white, who happens to be Elliot. She climbs into the car, and tells Turk to take her home when Carla invades the day dream, as Jess, and beats Elliot up.*
Dean: Will somebody please tell me what's wrong with my brother?
Denise: Oh, he's dead. Well, not really dead, dead, his hearts still beating, but thats about it. So, we'll just keep him here until that stops, then you can take him with you.
Dean: Did anybody ever tell you your bedside manner sucks?
Denise: As a matter of fact, they did. But I'm working on it. At least I didn't tell you he was screwed.
Denise walks off, leaving Dean alone in a room with Sam.
Dean: I feel like we've been here before, Sammy. Only the tables are turned. But don't worry, I won't let you die here. I'll figure something out.
Dean sits down in a chair next to Sam, staring at him. After a while, a woman walks by the room, then comes back to stare at Dean.
Jordan: You. Yeah, you. Your hot. Why don't you come make out with me. I'm bored.
Dean: I'm kind of busy, here.
Jordan: He's not going anywhere. He won't mind.
Dean gets up, crosses to the door, and slams it in Jordan's face. Jordan walks past the glass window, and makes a "what the hell?" face.
Dean: Has everyone around here lost their mind.
Dean pulls out his cell phone and calls Bobby, who doesn't answer.
Dean: Bobby, call me. It's Sam, and things don't look too good. And I don't know what to do. Could you, just, get here.
Dean hangs up the phone and stares at Sam.
Meanwhile, in Sam's mind:
Sam is being attacked by a woman that looks a lot like Jordan.
Jordan: Come on, Sammy. I'm so bored. I'm hot, you're way hot. It'll be fun.
Sam backs away from Jordan, running in to the wall.
Jordan: Don't fight me, Sammy, it will only make it worse.
Back in the hospital, Turk and Carla are standing outside of Sam's room.
Carla: I kind of feel sorry for him.
Turk: You feel sorry for him? He made JD cry. I should go in there and kick his butt!
Carla: You mean to tell me if your brother was lying in a coma, you wouldn't have done the same thing?
Turk: I don't have a brother.
Carla: OK, JD then.
Turk: Good point.
Dr. Cox: OK, listen up. It's come to my attention that Mr. McGillicudy has mad JD cry. Which means he is now my favorite person, and we are going to do everything possible to save his brother. You here me? Don't just stand there, go! Go!
Everyone scatters in panic, afraid to fail Dr. Cox. The Janitor walks up to Dr. Cox.
Janitor: You know, I think I know what the problem is.
Dr. Cox, makes his scary face: Go away.
Janitor: I'm just saying, the brain trust has figured it out.
Dr. Cox: Are you still here?
Inside Sam's head.
Jordan: Sam, I'm telling you, just give in. It will be worth it, in the end.
Sam: For a succubus, you really suck.
Jordan: You'll be sorry, Sam Winchester. They won't find me in the reality. You'll be gone before long. And then I'll be rewarded by Lucifer for ending your life, and keeping you from hunting him.
Outside the room, Janitor and Ted play rock paper scissors to see who will go talk to Dean. Janitor loses, picking scissors, and walks into the room. Dean is just hanging up the phone when he sees Janitor.
Dean: What the hell do you want?
Janitor: I know who you really are. Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. I'm really a hunter, and I've been hiding in this hospital for the last eight years. You wouldn't believe the things that go on here.
Dean: I don't know what you're talking about.
Janitor: I saw the tattoo on your brother. Not that I was staring. Plus I know your friend out there.
Janitor points a thumb over his shoulder at Castiel.
Dean: This is crazy.
Janitor: No, Elliot is crazy. This is life.
Castiel comes into the room.
Castiel: Dean, haven't you figured it out yet?
Dean: Figured what out?
Castiel: I don't have a lot of time. Sam is being attacked by a succubus.
Dean: Well, where is it?
Castiel: I've got to go. I don't know, but time is running out.
Castiel disappears in a rush of wings.
Dean: Great, this should be fun. Are you in?
Janitor: Of course I'm in. Let me get my bucket.
Dean: Your bucket?
Janitor: Holy water. How else are we going to find it?
Inside Sam's head.
Jordan: Time is running out Sammy. You are so screwed.
Sam: Not by you, I'm not.
Jordan: Ow, Sam, that hurts my feelings. For that, I'm going to get your brother, too.
Dean and Janitor are now wandering around the halls, with Dean in a pair of Janitors coveralls (rolled up, of course, because Janitor is so tall). Whenever a female walks by, Janitor splashes his mop water on them.
Elliott: Watch it!
Carla: Don't make me take out my earrings!
Gift Shop Girl: My new shoes!
Jordan: Oww, watch it.
As Jordan walks by them, they can see smoke from where the water hit her.
Janitor: I always new there was something not right about her.
Dean: Lets go, Sam doesn't have much time.
Janitor and Dean chase after Jordan, tracking her down to her office. They follow her in, and she slams the door behind them.
Jordan: Not so fast. You might kill me, but I still have a sister around here you haven't found. And she'll finish what I've started. And the rewards will be many.
Dean: Look, I don't want to fight. I'm tired of fighting. I just want my brother back.
Jordan: Sorry, Dean. I kind of like playing with him.
While Dean and Jordan are talking, Janitor sneaks up behind Jordan, grabbing her. Dean performs an exorcism, perfectly from memory, and the succubus is pulled out of Jordan. She collapses into a chair, face down on the desk. Janitor goes to walk out the door, but Dean stops him
Dean: Shouldn't we do something for her?
Janitor: No, she usually looks like that.
Dean and Janitor rush back to Sam's room, to find him wide awake, and being fawned over by a bunch of nurses and female doctors. Dean looks more upset to find he is being ignored by all the women, then he was when Sam was lying unconscious.
Elliott: OK, ladies, I think we should give the *cough* men some alone time.
Sam: Has everyone here lost their minds?
Dean: You don't know the half of it. Come on, let's get out of here.
Sam: When I was out, the succubus said something about her sister.
Janitor: Don't worry about it, I'll take care of her.
Dean and the Janitor wait outside the room while Sam gets dressed. As he walks out, all the nurses start to stare, and look at him flirtatiously. Sam looks really uncomfortable as he and Dean walk out the open front door.
Janitor: What the?! There's another penny in here!
What nobody notices is Denise's eyes, as the brothers walk by, flash black.