Disclaimer: I own not and make no money off of this.

Warnings: None.

Notes: And this ends Caldo de Pollo, look for the next set of drabbles. The Chicken Breast is for the Guest.

I'm Not Touching You
by Fairady



"Kitty? Kitty! No way! Why?" Rogue flopped over in the comfy armchair that'd appeared sometime between his last two missions. She looked like every teenage cliche as she giggled and continued to shit talk with whoever on a cellphone he'd never even seen before. "But he's so gay. Yes, he is. You know that time- Yeah. Uh-huh, Kitty knows it too! I don't know."

Deadpool hunched further and further into the couch with each squeal of girlish delight. His mouth opened once, but he quickly slapped a hand over it before a sound could be uttered. It tried to speak anyway so he used his other hand too.

"She's an idiot if she thinks that. You can't just- No, you can't," Rogue rolled until her feet were propped on the head rest and her head hung down, long stripey hair pooling on the ground. "Jubilee! You can't make a gay man straight! Sure, trying might be fun but Bobby- No way!"

The phone was pink and sparkly with something that looked suspiciously like Hello Kitty on it. It was so heavily bejeweled with tacky gems that it hurt to look straight at it. Deadpool grabbed for his bowl of Fruity Pebbles and started eating them frantically. Because if his mouth was busy eating it wasn't talking. He wouldn't lose, not this time. He'd shoot the brat to prevent himself from losing.

"That's stupid, John's always been an asshole. What's so different about this time?" Click. Click. The sound drew his attention like a moth to flame. She was playing with the dog tags around her neck. No, the two tags where on the floor. She was playing with something else. Something that glimmered and shined far too brightly between her fingers. A bright pink tag hung on the same chain as his old dog tags. "What's wrong with a little -or a lot- of violence? Please. They're pussies. They all are."

"Nnh!" No way. No fucking way. Deadpool chewed on the spoon unable to look away from the new tag. Which had a name on it in sparkling purple gems.

"X-Men, Brotherhood, big deal. They're both wrong," Rogue dropped the tag and started playing with the white streak in her hair. It slithered down the chain to clink next to the worn metal of his tags on the floor. "Well, John's an idiot too. Just let him do whatever. I'll smack him one for you if I ever see him, alright?"

His eyes zeroed in on the tag, now clearly visible, and the name written on it. Hannah Montana. The spoon cracked and so did his molars but those didn't matter much. He surged to his feet spilling his bowl on the floor as he screeched, "What the hell is that!"

Rogue smirked but didn't answer him directly. "Nah, just the sweet sound of victory. Talk to you later, Jubes," Rogue rolled off the seat and flipped her phone shut. The smirk was now directed fully at him. "Told you, you can't ignore me for shit."

"Nrgh!" He pointed one finger at- No, wait, that was a gun. He pointed his third favorite gun at her smirking face. "That's cheating!"

"All's fair in l-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence!" He clicked the safety off the gun.

Rogue pouted and stuck her tongue out at him. "You're just a sore loser."