Chapter 1: Thinking of a Plan
Myra Boutros Boutros Monkhouse was upset. The love of her life, Steven Quincy Urkel, or Steve, as he liked to be called, was getting married to Myra's worst enemy, Laura Winslow. Myra always saw no reason that Steve should love Laura, because Myra thought Laura was trying to win Steve's heart. Now they were getting married in two weeks. Myra sighed. She was sitting on her bed, which, of course, had a big picture of Steve Urkel on it. Her pillows, her carpet, even her walls, were covered in pictures of Steve. In fact, her whole room was filled with pictures of him.
Just recently, Steve had returned from outer space. Unfortunately, his life was in danger at the time in space. The satellite in space crashed onto the spaceship that Steve and two astronauts named Mitch and Alan were in. Alan and Mitch had fallen unconscious, but Steve was brave. He drove the ship until Mitch and Alan woke up. Alan had broken his arm, and Mitch had to control the ship, so Steve was the only one available to get the satellite off the ship. So he put on space gear and set out for it. He did manage to get it out, but he began to float away with it. There was no way for Steve to get back to the ship, until he thought of a plan. It worked, and the satellite led him safely back to the ship just in time. Laura made him promise never to go in space again, and Steve replied with: "Only when we kiss." So they did.
So now Steve was pretty much a celebrity. Myra sighed and plopped down on her bed. "I wish Steven wasn't going to get married to that creep Laura Winslow," Myra cried out. Just then, Myra's telephone rang, and Myra glumly went to answer it. "Hello?" she said into the receiver. "Myra?" a familiar high-pitched voice replied. Myra gasped happily. "Steven!" she cried. "Hey," Steve said in a quiet voice. "Did you break up with Laura? Did you break up with Laura? Did you did you did you?" "No, Myra," Steve said. "I was calling you just to say hi." Oh," Myra said. "Hi." She was glum again. "So...how are you?" asked Steve. "Fine, I guess," Myra replied. "But I still can't live without you." Myra couldn't help pointing this out. Steve sighed. "I'm sorry, Myra," he said. "But I'm engaged to Laura now. I can't just break up with her. We'll be married in two weeks." Myra's eyes were now the size of baseballs. She just hung up on Steve, then and there. Myra was so disappointed.
Myra slumped back towards her bed. All of a sudden, she had a plan. Her plan was to try and separate Steve and Laura forever. She would have to go and see Steve often when Laura wasn't home. Myra's opinion was that the plan would work. She could call Steve's alter-ego, Stefan Urquelle, again to help her, but she decided not to. You see, Laura had had a double proposal from Stefan, and then Steve not long after. So Laura had to choose who she wanted to marry. She decided to choose Steve after he planned to move to Russia where his parents lived, and he stayed in Chicago.
Chapter 2: Visiting Steve
At the Winslow household two days after Myra thought of her plan, Laura Winslow was getting ready for her bachelorette party. All her gal pals would be there: Maxine, Penny, Josie, Susanna, and many other girls (not Myra). Steve was proudly wearing his groom suit. "Ready to go, my lovely?" Steve asked. "Almost, Steve," Laura replied. "I just need to do my hair." "Okay, Laura Lee!" Steve said. Ten minutes later, Laura came out of the bathroom, looking gorgeous. Steve was surprised. He stared at Laura, mouth and eyes wide open. "How do I look?" Laura asked. "You look fantabulous, my sweet!" Steve said. Laura gave him a kiss on the lips. "Whoa, Mama!" Steve said, a little overjoyed. Good thing Steve's clumsiness was gone for good! "Get in the car, Laura Lee," Steve said. "I'll drive!"
Meanwhile, Myra's first step of her plan was to go and visit Steve. She had first done this soon before Steve and Laura's first date. "I'm going to Stevie's house to visit, Mommy!" Myra called. "Okay, Myra!" Mrs. Monkhouse answered. Myra got into her car and drove off to the Winslow household, where Steve was going to stay until he and Laura got married. Myra knockedon the door, but no one answered. No one was home. As you know, Laura and Steve were at their bachelor/bachelorette parties. But the rest of the family had other plans. Carl and Harriet Winslow, Laura's parents, were at the movies. Edward (Eddie) Winslow, Laura's older brother, was at Steve's bachelor party. Judy Winslow, Laura's younger sister, was at Laura's bachelorette party. Estelle Winslow, Laura's grandmother, was out with her husband Fletcher Thomas. Rachel Crawford, Laura's aunt, was bowling, and Richie Crawford and 3J Winslow, Laura's ten-year-old cousin and Laura's ten-year-old adopted brother, were with Rachel, bowling. Steve's parents lived in Moscow, Russia. That was Laura's whole family.
So Myra got the key out from under the welcome mat, wiped her feet, and went in. Myra watched some TV and ate cheese while waiting. An hour and a half later, Steve came bursting inside. Myra got up, grinning. "AUUUUUUUUUUGH!" Steve screamed. Myra got up and skipped joyously to him. "Hello, my little snuggle buns," she said to him. "AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!" Steve screamed again, and he ran away. Myra chased after him, with her arms out wide. "Leave me alone, Myraaaaaaaaaaaaa!" said Steve, screaming. But Myra wouldn't listen. She giggled away. All of a sudden, Laura walked in, with Judy behind her. "Steve!" they both cried. Steve and Myra stopped running. "Laura!" Steve cried. "Help me!" Steve tumbled and hid behind his fiance. Judy stared at him. "What?" asked Steve. "Nothing," Judy replied. She turned her attention back to Myra. "Myra, what are you doing here?" Laura asked. "I'm here for Steve," said Myra. Judy rolled her eyes. "Myra, Myra, Myra," she said. "Your plan is failing. Steve loves Laura now, and they happen to be getting married soon. So I suggest that you leave them alone." Judy put a hand on Steve's shoulder, and another on Laura's. Myra was hurt, distraught. "Okay," she said. "I'll go. Good-bye, Steven. Good-bye, Laura." Then she left.
Chapter 3: Step 2 out of 4
Okay, I have to admit, Myra's feelings weren't that hurt. She wasn't giving up yet. Step 1 of 4 of her plan did not work. She crossed out Step 1: Go to Steven's house to try to make the plan work. Step 2 was: Interrupt Steve and Laura's romantic dinner at Amore's (again) and flirt with Steven. "Perfect!" Myra put down her pen and paper. Tomorrow night, Steve and Laura were going to have a romantic dinner at Amore's. Myra knew this because she had reinstalled the little camera lens in Steve's thick glasses, and spied on him. In fact, she was spying on him now. Steve and Laura were chatting about Myra. "Weird how she did that, Steve," Laura said. "I can't beieve she would freak you out like that." With that, Myra blew raspberries at the TV screen when it showed Laura. (No, literally. She was eating a bowl of raspberries and she blew some out of her mouth.) Myra rolled her eyes quite hard and blew more raspberries (literally again) at the screen when Steve and Laura started kissing.
The next morning, Myra woke up extra early to spy on Steve, who was always up at 5:30 in the morning. Myra put on her Steve Urkel bathrobe and Steve Urkel slippers (I'm telling you, she is one sick puppy!). She got the remote out from under her Steve Urkel bed and turned on her "Stevie's Glasses Cam" TV on. Steve was looking through his closet, trying to find a romantic tuxedo to wear to his dinner with Laura that night. "Now let's see," said Steve. "Should I wear the blue tie or the red tie?" Myra replied to the TV with: "I think you should go with the blue tie!" Steve snapped his fingers. "I know!" he cried. "I'll wear...the red tie!" "Dang it!" said Myra. She pouted. Now Steve wasa choosing between suits. "Should I wear the black suit, or the brown one?" he asked. "Oh, pu-leeze!" Myra said. She giggled. "The black one all the way!" "Brown!" said Steve. He put the red tie and the brown suit on his bed and got dressed for the day (in regular clothes, luckily Myra didn't look at the screen while he was dressing). There Myra stopped spying and got ready for her big day. She got dressed in a short-sleeved white shirt and some jean shorts.
That night, Myra was all ready to go stalk her "Stevie-kins." "Mother! Daddy!" Myra called to her parents. "I'm going out!" "Okay! Remember Myra, your curfew is at midnight!" Mr. Monkhouse called. Of course Myra was wearing the same dress as Laura: a blue sleeveless sparkling gown.
"Whoa, Mama!" Steve Urkel exclaimed meanwhile. Laura was coming towards Steve at the restaurant, Amore's. Laura smiled. The waiter showed them to their table and handed them their menus. Myra spied on them in person as they were getting their extremely crunchy breadsticks from the waiter. Myra did not skip to the table, since she was wearing high-heels and had to be extra careful. "Myra!" Steve cried. "What in the name of Susie Q are you doing here?" "I came to see you, silly billy," Myra said happily. Steve stood up. "Myra!" he cried. "Why, you chased me all around the house yesterday, and Laura and Judy were eyewitnesses!" "Oh, then sorry!" Myra said with a little giggle. Laura said: "Look, I know you're in pain, but...you've gotta let Steve go! We happen to be getting married in less than two weeks!" Myra was upset (not really) and said her good-bye.
Myra sadly crossed out her second failed plan.
Chapter 4: Step 3
Step 3 was Make Steve fall for me when Laura is out.
It was a week later, and Myra was ready for her plan. She was carrying a radio in one hand and cheese in the other. Myra danced to the radio station in her car. Eddie answered the door. "Steve's in the kitchen," Eddie said. "Thanks, Eddie," said Myra, and so she did. In the kitchen, Steve and Judy were playing Crazy 8's. "Hello, Steven, hello Judy," Myra said. Steve looked up and rolled his eyes. "What do you want, Myra?" he asked. "Laura and I are sick of your dirty plans." "Yeah, you should leave them alone," said Judy. "I'm warning you." But Myra didn't listen. She turned on polka music and started dancing. Back then, when Myra did this the first time, he fell for it. But not this time. Steve and Judy stood and watced. Myra knew her plan wasn't working, so she got out the cheese wheel and turned off the radio.
"Oh, I'm hungry!" Myra said, and she took a bite of the cheese. But Steve still wasn't buying it. "Listen here, Myra," said Steve. "If you make one more plan, I'm going to call Carl or Eddie. They're policemen. Is that clear?" "Yes," Myra said softly. Laura had been watching the whole scene from the foot of the stairs. She'd been coming down to get a snack from the kitchen. "Steve? Judy? Myra?" she asked. "Laura Lee!" Steve cried. "Hold on. I have to finish scolding Myra." He turned to her. "You should go home now," he said to her. Myra left, her head hung down.
Chapter 5: Final Step
Myra sadly crossed out Step 3: Make Steve fall for me when Laura is out.
Three days later, it was the day before Steve and Laura's wedding. "This is my last chance to finish my plan," Myra said to nobody in particular.
At the Winslow household, Laura was showing Steve her wedding dress. "I can picture you in it now, Laura Lee," said Steve. "You'll look so, so beautiful. Just like you do now." They hugged. "May I see your groom suit?" Laura asked. "Of course!" Steve said. "Make way for my groom suit!" He showed it to Laura. "You'll look very handsome, like now." Then they started kissing.
Meanwhile, Myra was wrting the last step of her plan: Go in disguise as a detective so Stevie won't know who I am and my plan will work.
Later that day, Myra drove herself to a store called Chicago Disguises to look for a decent detective disguise. "Excuse me, Mr. Looney" Myra said. "Where are the detective disguises?" "Ah, it's Loo-neigh," said Mr. Looney. "It's French. The detective disguises are right over there." He was pointing. "Thanks!" Myra skipped away.
Steve and Laura were going to pay Myra a last visit before their wedding. Steve finally got rid of his Isetta because he knew they would have kids someday and was driving a much larger car. Laura had put her hand on the arm rester of Steve's chair. Steve put his hand on top of hers.
Chapter 6: Finding Out Everything
Laura and Steve found that Myra wasn't home. You know where she was at. So Laura and Steve decided to go see her room one last time. Myra still hadn't redecorated yet. "It's gonna be expensive to redecorate," said Laura. Steve nodded. Then he saw Myra's plot on a sheet of paper. "Hey, what's this?" Steve asked. He read it aloud: "Myra's Plan to Break Up Steven and Laura." "What plan?" asked Laura. "Listen, sweetums," said Steve. Then he read: "Step one, visit Stevie when Laura the Hag isn't home." Laura was insulted. Steve read out the rest of the plans.
"Oh, that little-" Laura began, but Steve interrupted her. "Honey, no need to get mad. I'm going to call the police as soon as she gets home." Laura noticed the remote for "Stevie's Glasses Cam." "Um, Steve?" Laura said. "Yes, my pet?" "She's been spying on you again." Laura pressed the Power button on the remote, and in came the "Stevie's Glasses Cam" TV. "Time to do something about it!" Steve said. He stepped on his glasses and malfunctioned the camera. All of a sudden, Myra came in, practically out of nowhere. "AUUUUUGH!" she screamed. Steve got out his cell phone and dialed 911 immediately. Luckily for Steve, Carl Winslow, Laura's father, answered. "Carl?" Steve said. "It's Steve." Steve told Carl about how Myra was always stalking him and trying to get him to cheat on Laura. "Okay, what's the address and phone number?" Carl asked. Steve told him, and Carl said: "Steve, I'll be there as soon as possible." They hung up.
Myra tried to run out, but Laura was quicker. She locked the door and guarded it.
Exactly fifteen minutes later, Carl knocked on the door. Laura opened it, and Carl put Myra in handcuffs. Myra squirmed and wiggled, but Carl led her away. As soon as they left, Steve and Laura smiled at each other. "Let's go home, Laura Lee," said Steve. "Okay, sweetie," said Laura. Steve held out his hand, and Laura took it. They walked out of the house and rode home smiling.
When Myra was thrown into her prison cell, she burst into tears and didn't stop crying for three hours. Her plan had failed. She, herself, had failed too.
Later that evening, she found out that she had a five-year sentence in prison.
The next day, Myra was so sad, upset, and disappointed because Steve and Laura's wedding was going on right now.
Steve and Laura did visit her a few times in jail, but Myra always told them it wasn't the same. Nothing was ever the same.
A year later, Myra learned that Steve and Laura had a baby girl. Her name was Vanessa Marie Urkel. "Congratulations," Myra mumbled. Steve and Laura had visited her once to show her the baby.
Although Myra was living the saddest life ever in jail, she was ever so slightly happy that Steve and Laura were living a happy life.