Ed Abuse II - The Return of Eddy's Brother

By Tfiction

Author's Notes: I plan to make three of the Ed Abuse series. The first one was an idea of mine (for a controlled dream), but making that, I had ideas for this and a third in the Ed Abuse series. I plan to make one for each Ed. Ed Abuse I about Ed, Ed Abuse II about Eddy, and Ed Abuse III about Edd. All of them about their family. (Ed-Sarah, Eddy-His Brother, and Edd-His Parents? I'm not sure about the last one. XP) This fanfiction is rated PG-13.


Chapter 1 - The Scam

Edd woke up, slamming his pestering alarm clock to make it turn off. He looked at the clock.

7:00 AM

Edd added another mark to his tally mark record. Another day in a row had he woken up at a perfect timing thanks to the alarm clock. He added his mark to another hundred tally marks, then got out of bed to start his day.

He put on his clothes. "Is all Eddy says about his brother.." Edd pondered to himself as he put on his shirt. "...legitimate?"

He went into his bathroom to take a shower. However, he was still thinking about the dream.

As he ate his cereal, he decided that when he met up with Eddy, he would talk about the dream.

Suddenly, Eddy came bursting through Edd's door, with Ed following right through the door (quite literally).

"Ed, not the screen door again! Father still hadn't recovered from the last two times you've done that!" Edd complained, but he knew by now that Ed wouldn't understand.

"Hey Sockhead!" Eddy greeted.

"Greetings, Eddy," said Edd, sighing. "Um, Eddy?"

"Yes, Double D?"

"I have something to ask you," Edd said.

"What is it, Double D?"

"Do tell, Double D!" Ed said.

Edd hesitated for a moment or two, then finally started to ask, "Is all you say about your older sibling true, or fal- MMPH!" Edd never got to finish his question, for Eddy put his hand on Edd's mouth.

"Shut up, Sockhead," Eddy said without a hint of fear.

"I never got to finish my sentence, Eddy," Edd complained as soon as the hand went back.

"I don't want the others to know," Eddy said, looking at the screen.

"What do you mean, others? And why are you looking at a wall like there's something there?" Edd inquired.

"Because of legal issues."

Edd and Ed stared blankly at Eddy, who tugged at Edd and Ed's shirt. "Come on! I've got a good idea for the scam! Who's with me?"

Edd and Ed looked at one another. "Like we have a choice?" Edd asked jokingly. It was a rhetorical question, which Eddy didn't get.

"Okay, so here's how we're going to do it," Eddy said, explaining the scam. It turned out to be a mysterious car driving with a UFO on it, and the kids pay for the Eds to "check it out". In actuality, the UDC (Unidentified Driving Car) was a normal car with a toy UFO on it, and the Eds retrieve the UFO and say that they were trying to probe a human's car to the alien's home planet.

"So, Edd, make the tracking device and machine to put the toy UFO on the car. I'll handle the UFO itself. Ed, you just... entertain yourself until we're done. Like its that hard..." Eddy explained. Ever since that nightmare about Ed and Sarah and Eddy, Eddy was not only thinking even harder that Sarah should treat Ed like a better person, but he was actually starting to do more of the work, instead of letting Ed do it.

Ed looked at Eddy for a minute. Idiotically, he checked his behind, and started chasing it as if there were a tail on it that he wanted to chase. Edd sighed, and asked Eddy, "You don't have to do all the work, Eddy. Maybe Ed wants to help."

"Sockhead, ever since that dream, I fear that Ed is mad at me," said Eddy, sure that Ed won't hear him.

Edd said, "But Eddy, Ed is your friend. He can't be mad at you like that."

"Maybe. Maybe not," said Eddy as he constructed the UFO.

Edd sighed. If only your brother were here would you snap out of it. Edd thought.

Very soon, the UFO was constructed, and the tracking device and crane were built. Of course, Edd took some time to test the crane and the tracking device, so it wasn't until Noon that the scam was ready.

"Crane in place, Double D?" Eddy asked, sitting on a lawn chair with Ed.

"Crane in position, Eddy," said Edd.

"UFO on the crane?" Eddy asked again.

"UFO on the crane."

"Aliens in the UFO?" Ed asked.

"Aliens in the... wait what?"

"Ed, even though I did the work you'd be able to do, shut up."

"Eddy," said Edd, spotting a red car. "Car in range, and driving near the cul-de-sac."

"Perfect. Just enough for the pigeons to spot it," Eddy said, thinking of the money they would get after the scam was over.

As the car went up to the crane, Edd calculated the distance. "Distance 50 meters, Eddy."

"Okay, Double D," said Eddy.

The car came up closer.

"Distance 20 meters, Eddy."

"Okay, Sockhead," said Eddy, irritated.

"Distance 10. Ready to launch, Eddy," said Edd, holding on to the button.

"Fire at will Double D!" Ed said.

"Very well, Ed."

CLICK! And the UFO was on, as well as the tracking device.

"Are you tracking it, Double D?" asked Eddy.

Edd nodded to answer Eddy's question. "It's going to pass the cul-de-sac in five... four..."

"THREE!" Ed shouted.

"TWO!" Eddy shouted.

"One," Edd said, as the car passed the cul-de-sac.... or at least that's what Edd's calculations and test runs said. The real deal? It went right into the Cul-De-Sac.

"Oh dear," sighed Edd.

Eddy, meanwhile, was focused on the rest of the cul-de-sac. "What's taking the pigeons? I bet they're on to us."


Without looking at Ed, Eddy said, "Ed, 1. It's a joke, and 2. Lay off the Star Wars movies."

"Um, Eddy?"

"Yeah, Sockhead?" Eddy asked.

"Ed has a point. He's talking about the car that was supposed to drive past the cul-de-sac, but ended up in your driveway."

"Yeah yeah... wait, my driveway?" Eddy asked, stunned. He looked back at the car. "You know, that car looks familiar.

And so was the driver once he got out. As the door opened, Ed recalled a certain scene where an electronic door slowly opened and gas came out, Edd waited patiently for the driver to come out, and Eddy forgot all about the scam.

"Care to explain why a UFO and a tracking device is on my car, pipsqueak?"

There was an awkward silence in which no one spoke. Eddy knew the only person who would call him pipsqueak. Eddy broke the silence.

"...bro?" Eddy suddenly found himself going unconsious. "Erp. Mind shutting down. Going unc... uncoo.." Eddy looked at Edd expectantly.

"Unconscious, Eddy."

"Going dead from the neck up," Eddy said, before going down.


Anyway, I welcome thee to Ed Abuse II. I snuck in a 4th wall break and a Star Fox reference. Can you find them both? Also, the truth about Eddy's Brother is still plausible in my mind. XP THE MOVIE WAS NOT CANON TO ME! XD

What will Eddy do now that his big bro's returned? Will Eddy's Brother be nice? Why am I asking all these questions? Is it to make more words on the story? Maybe, maybe not. Find out next chapter, and as always, REVIEW!