AN - I own nothing! I'm just borrowing from J.K. Rowling!
Severus Snape narrowed his eyes at the Headmaster as the old codger continued to speak. A bachelor auction for charity?! By far it was the most senile idea that Albus had ever come up with, Severus thought. Maybe the old man finally lost his mind, even after the war with Voldemort ended five years ago.
"So you see Severus," Albus continued, "the males that will participate for the auction are all heroes of the war—all single Order members, as well as a few outstanding citizens that have gained notice by the Ministry. It will take place during Valentine's day."
"I will not participate," Severus said lowly. He absolutely wanted nothing to do with it.
"Ah, but you must, and you will Severus my boy," Albus said with a bright twinkle in his eye. "You are a war hero, and a role model to many. You must set an example towards them, and participate."
"Headmaster, the key word is participate," Severus said firmly. "Defined as to take part in something. I will not take part in this auction of yours."
"Severus, you know how much fund raising for war damages means to me," Albus reminded the dark wizard. "The money is used for many things. Families who lost their homes, children who now live in orphanages and even the rebuilding of some of the damages to our school. Everyone has agreed, even Harry since he isn't married, but so must you."
"I am old Albus," Severus said lowly.
"The same age as Remus and Sirius, who have also agreed to take part," Albus said back.
"I am broken. No woman would want a broken wizard."
"You never know Severus, and it's not like you have to court her and become her boyfriend."
Boyfriend. Severus cringed at the word. He so didn't like it. He didn't like the idea of a significant other in his life. A man of solace is what he was, and he was content with the way things were. He didn't need anyone.
"The woman who wins will just have one dinner with you—one," Albus said. "I don't see the harm in that."
"I refuse! That's the harm," Severus snapped, his blood starting to boil in anger. "I said NO Albus."
"Severus," Albus said, looking straight into black angry eyes.
"You aren't going to give me a choice are you?" Severus asked in disbelief. The face and the glare that Albus was giving him was all too familiar. He had seen it too many times in his life, knowing that he wasn't going to get anywhere. Albus had made up his mind already. "No woman in their right mind would want to bid for me, otherwise they'd be as crazy as you are Albus."
"Oh I'm not so sure of that," Albus chuckled. "I'm sure there is at least one witch that is interested in you."
Severus gulped as one name came to mind. Sybill Trelawney.
The goggled eyed Divinations professor was more of a pain in the arse to Severus than anyone when the both of them became colleagues. Her behavior was strange, but stranger than strange and far more uncomfortable when she was around him. The witch claimed that she liked him—or was in love with him. Sometimes, she would swoon all over him and say that they were destined to be together. Severus of course, would just shove her away, growling at her in annoyance. There was no way in hell that he ever thought of being with Trelawney on any intimate level. He wasn't attracted to her at all.
The thought of him kissing her made Severus gag. He wasn't stupid, and like any wizard, he knew a beautiful witch when he saw one. Certainly it wasn't Trelawney. Most of her prophecies may have been correct, but damned if they were destined together. He'd rather die or even face Voldemort all over again before letting her false destiny become a reality.
"So, you have a few weeks to plan for that special dinner," Albus said with a smile.
Severus stood up from the chair, jaws clenched as he glared dangerously at Albus. "You'll regret it you old coot!" he said as he pointed a finger at him. With that, he spun on his heels, and exited the Headmaster's office, his robes billowing behind.
"Oh I don't think I will," Albus spoke when Severus was already gone. The bright twinkle was back in his eyes, as he hoped something good would happen to Severus during the auction.
Severus walked down the school corridors, went down into the dungeons, heading off to his office. He stopped midstride and stiffened when he heard a familiar voice, accompanied by some hurried footsteps. He turned around, eyes widening in shock before it was too late.
"Oh Severus!" Sybill greeted in excitement as she wrapped her arms around him tightly, and looked up at him dreamily. "Did you hear about the auction? I absolutely cannot wait!"
"Hands off me Professor Trelawney!" Severus growled, attempted to pry the witch's arms off him. When he succeeded, he took two steps back, and raised his arm in between them so that she couldn't get within arm's reach.
"Are you ever going to call me Sybill?" she asked him, batting her eyes.
"Not in this life," he answered back lowly.
"Not to worry my Muffin!" Sybill smiled. "I'll win you in the auction, and it will be a night you'll never forget." She giggled and blew him a little kiss, and walked away, dancing on her feet.
Severus stepped into his office and slammed the door behind him. He leaned back against the thick wood, and thudded his head, wincing only slightly by the pain. He had to come up with a plan. There was no way he was going to let Trelawney bid for him and win. Merlin help him, he prayed.
AN – I've read a few Snape auction stories, and have decided to write one of my own. Of course with my own twists and laughs into it. Review!