I don't own vampire Knight or any of the characters...*sigh*
Thirst and Nostalgia
As defined by the dictionary: A good and beneficial object or event come upon by accident.
That is the only word that could possibly describe what happened, on the fateful day that Kaname-sama came to visit.
~one week earlier~
I was sitting in my living room, absentmindedly playing with a stuffed animal that Kaname had given me for Christmas. It was a decently-sized bunny that fit easily in my arms. Pure white with big, neatly painted blue button eyes and a big fluffy tail, I loved it. Kaname-sama, I sighed to myself while my heart picked up its pace a bit.
I thought back to his face when he gave it to me with a fond nostalgia.
He had pulled it from behind his back wrapped in shiny, pink wrapping paper with a large red bow on top.
I almost didn't want to unwrap it. I thought to myself, lightly smiling. Everything about it was perfect, all the way down to how the ribbon curled up slightly at the bottom.
But his face was truly what caught my eye, it was a million times better than any present could ever be. His eyes were shining gently with, what I could only assume was anticipation, I had never seen him so radiant.
Not that he usually wasn't, but that night, he was just, more.
More everything, his eyes were brighter, his cheeks were glowing, and I could only see a tiny hint of the usual hidden sadness in his smile.
I laughed aloud, my heart was beating ten times faster than what could possibly safe, just by thinking about him.
"What's so funny" A deep, angelic voice called from behind me. My heart froze.
I smiled, three beats, my heart skipped three whole beats just from hearing that voice. I knew it better than any other voice in the universe.
I jumped up and spun around happily, running in the direction of the voice and there he was, leaning magnificently against the doorway.
Kaname Kuran, a picture of perfection.
"KANAME-SAMA" I yelled smiling as I ran to his arms.
I walked through the front door, not bothering to knock, (The chairman had already told me several times, that I didn't need to.) and was instantly surrounded with a warm comfortable feeling that carried the presence of my girl with it.
Her scent was everywhere, filling the entire house, and making me feel at home for the first time in months.
I heard the faint sound of tinker bell laughter and followed it down a hallway lined with pictures, to the adjacent family room and leaned against the door frame.
She was sitting, curled up on the couch smiling down at the stuffed bunny, that I had given her for Christmas. With her hair, cascading down in gentle waves over her shoulders, coming to rest by her small waist.
Yuuki's hair looks so soft, God I want to touch it. I thought to my self, feeling my hands ache for its thin beauty.
But then again, what's stopping me?
"What's so funny?" I grinned, fully aware that her heart skipped a few beats as she realized I was there.
She spun happily to face me, with a beautiful, heart-stopping smile and quickly jumped into my open arms, crying out "KANAME-SAMA" in the process.
From within my embrace I was able to feel the subtle differences in her appearance, since the last time I had seen her.
It always amazed me, how quickly she grew and changed, I could feel from under my touch that, in the few months I was gone, she had grown about an inch. Her hair seemed to be a little bit longer too.
It's been way too long. I sighed leaning back to hold her weight, before sliding gently to the floor. With her still in my arms.
I rested my cheek on the top of her head, reveling in her closeness and silently examining just how much she had changed in are time apart.
"Eh? Kaname-sama are you okay?" She asked starting to squirm impatiently in my hold.
I tightened my grip just enough to stop her from moving, before closing my eyes and breathing in her scent.
"Yes Yuuki, Im perfectly fine." I closed my eyes slowly before continuing "I was just thinking that I have been far away for far to long."
I lifted my head to look at her, and she stared back at me with a cute, childish curiosity.
One day, I thought sadly to my self, I may walk in here and not be able to recognize her at all. She grows so quickly....
My heart started to pound rapidly in my chest and all of the sudden couldn't breath. I felt like I was drowning, every breath I managed to take was short and uneven.
I pulled her back in to my arms holding her tightly against my chest. I might be missing out on her entire life! Humans live and die so quickly. At that thought, I clenched my eyes tightly shut. Imagining a large hall filled with people, a funeral, for Yuuki and I would be sitting in the back, looking exactly the same as ever.
"Kaname-sama?! You really don't seem like your fine!" she called from my chest.
I took a steadying breath about to speak when, something hit me, we were alone.
Obviously, I had realized that no one else was in the room. But, It suddenly dawned on me, there was no one else, anywhere in the entire home.
I let her go.
"Yuuki" I asked, changing the subject, and vaguely realizing that my breath was still jagged. "Where is the chairman?"
"oh uh, he had to run to meet someone, or something" She stated blankly, blinking at the sudden loss of contact.
"and he left you...alone?"
"Yup!" she nodded energetically "He said I was old enough now that Im nine!"
At her words and to my horror, I felt my throat burn dry.
I blinked several times, trying to clear my head all while a small voice in the back of my mind started whispering crudely.
Go! Bite her, she's all alone...
If you don't she'll grow old and die...
Besides, how long have you been starving? I think four years is enough.
I shook my head again, trying desperately to ignore the truth in the thoughts.
I looked back at Yuuki, who was standing just a few feet in front of me. All I would have to do is reach out my hand and..
NO! My conscience screamed, If you bite her, Juri would have died for nothing!
I took a deep steadying breath, my conscience was right, I had to ignore my thirst born thoughts. For Yuuki's mom and Yuuki herself, if I drank her blood now, while I was starving, I would probably go insane, I could wind up seriously hurt her.
With that thought, my thirst died down, but only for a brief moment. Before the monster in me whispered softly.
You could have her...
I paused, well that was definitely true, If I bit Yuuki here and now, she would have to stay with me. I could keep her by my side, I could never be thirsty again. Never be lonely.
Yes, thats right. Never lonely...
Horribly, painfully lonely....
What does It matter if Juri died making her human?
The monstrous thirst inside me whispered again.
Juri also told you to take care of Yuuki...
As long as she's human, it's the chairman taking care of her, not you...
You're breaking your promise to Juri...
My line of vision became fuzzy as my throat started to feel as though it were on fire, and my eyes instinctively found her smooth, porcelain neck. I licked my lips hungrily, as my thirst whispered more rationalizations in my ear.
It's your duty as her fiance....
How can you protect her when she's human...
You have too, you're throat's burning...
Jut tell the chairman you had stop the fire somehow, he'll understand...
I tried, I tried so hard to resist. I fought and I fought, but I failed.
My resolve broke and my mind went blank, at that moment I didn't care about any thing other than soothing the burning pain in my throat.
I reached out and grabbed her harshly, dragging her closer to me.
I wrapped one arm around her, holding the small of her back and pulled her wrist up to my nose, inhaling the delicious aroma from the blood that flowed freely, just beneath her skin.
Her weak, fragile skin.
I opened my mouth just slightly, trying deciding where I wanted to bite first.
Or maybe some place more...Fun? My thirst chuckled darkly into my ear.
Some place else does sound like fun, I thought vaguely, and she would probably even enjoy it too.
"Kaname-sama?" A very small voice whimpered from beside me. Oh right, I thought, my head in a deep fog, this isn't just a she..it's...Yuuki.
I slowly looked up, distracted from my thoughts by her voice. It had sounded like she was...scared?
Yuuki shouldn't be scared...
My eyes followed their way up her arm, to her shoulder, past her neck and onto her face.
I looked into her slightly-teary but beautiful, brown eyes and,
the fog covering my mind cleared,and my thirst died instantly, along with its influential voice.
"and he left you...alone?" Kaname-sama asked me.
"YUP!" I replied nodding "He said Im old enough, now that Im nine!"
I looked back up at Kaname, who gulped loudly.
There's something odd about him, I though while examining his normally calm, but now almost panicked, face with my eyes. His cheeks looked slightly flushed, and his breath was uneven.
But what really caught my attention were his eyes. They were different somehow,
what's different!? I screamed silently. This frustrated me beyond belief.
How many times have I looked into those eyes?
They look darker, some part of my mind whispered weakly, Like they want to eat you.
No, Kaname wouldn't do that. He's different. I argued back.
Kaname-sama shook his head beside me almost as if,
Almost as if he was disagreeing with me...
I gulped and took a shaky breath, telling myself not to be so ridiculous. When Kaname shot out a hand, grabbing my wrist painfully.
"owww." I moaned almost silently, unable to bring myself to speak any louder.
I thought, at that moment, that he was going to break my arm, his grip was just so tight.
Kaname, seeming oblivious to my pain, pulled my wrist up to his mouth with a dazed look and took a deep breath, smelling me. My heart shot into my throat.
No, he's not going to...
I felt my eyes fill with tears as I started shaking.
A vampire's going to eat me..
no, no, No, No, NO! Kaname would never hurt me, ever. I pulled on my arm back, praying to god that he was going to let go.
Please let go..
Please don't eat me...
But it was of no use, Kaname's grip just tightened, holding me painfully in place.
He slowly lifted his, now menacing, gaze to stare blankly at me. He blinked a few times, as if trying to remember something important, before silently gasping. Realization dawning in his eyes.
"Oh, Yuuki" He dropped my hand instantly, pushing him self away from me so that his back hit the wall. He looked at me one more time, but now, with a gaze full of remorse, before covering his face with his hands.
There was a long silence, as I watched him just sit, curled up against the wall. After what seemed like an eternity, he removed one hand from his face, leaning on the other one.
"Are you okay?" He asked in a deep, rough voice.
I looked at him for another long moment, trying to tell if he was really back to normal.
"Ya." I replied in my young, childish voice. I was about to say more when, he gave me what seemed to be a reassuring smile. But looking into his eyes, all I could see was a deep, never ending, sadness.
I took a steadying breath and looked towards the ground. No matter how scared I had been just a few moments ago, this feeling was far worse. I couldn't even put into words what I felt seeing his eyes, realizing just how badly he must be hurting.
I felt my eyes swell with tears, Was he really that sad, was he really THAT lonely?
I thought back as far as I could remember, trying desperately to remember a time when he had a smile that wasn't drowned in sadness. But it was of no use,
Nothing, not one time has he ever looked genuinely happy. I realized, feeling my heart ache.
A few tears escaped down my cheek.
"Oh. Yuuki, Im sorry, You were scared right? Im really, truly sorry." He choked, reaching out a large hand, as if he were about to hold me.
But he stopped, his hand hovering inches above my skin, frowned and made a fist, pulling it back.
But I reached out, hugging his out stretched arm to me.
"Are you really that lonely?" I asked. I blushed slightly as I said It, all my instincts telling me to shut up.
But I needed to know.
Kaname's eyes widened in shock.
Does that mean Im right? My heart started pounding loudly in my chest as I took a daring step forward.
"I don't want Kaname-sama to be lonely. I cant even stand the thought of it,"
I blinked a few times, and looked into Kaname's eyes, as tears started to pour endlessly down my cheeks.
"You can have my blood, I'll stay with you, just please don't be lonely." I sobbed desperately, covering my eyes with my hands.
Kaname seemed to be frozen on the spot, his mouth sagging slightly open, apparently only able to stare down at me. But, his gaze softened and he wrapped his large, warm arms around me.
"Shhh, Yuuki, Shhh." He muttered into my hair. "It's okay, I'm not lonely."
"You look lonely" I cried into his shirt "Kaname-sama, I'll do anything for you. Please. Please, just don't be sad and lonely anymore."
There was a long pause and I could hear his heart rate pick up slightly through his shirt.
"You'll do anything for me?" He repeated. I wasn't sure whether or not this was a question, but I nodded vigorously into his chest anyway.
"Okay," He said lightly, pushing me away.
I glanced up at him, and for the second time that night my heart skipped several beats. He was smiling, but this time it wasn't one of his sad-smiles. For the first time in as long as I had known him, he showed me a truly, wonderfully, happy smile. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
And what he asked me, erased from my mind anything bad that had ever or would ever happen to me. Leaving only thoughts of him and his insatiable beauty.
" Can I be your heart?"
Please review!! Also if anyone has story idea's that they want to see let me know and i'll give it a try.
Thanks for reading and reviewing...*Hint, hint*