What if everything we thought of as fantasy was true? Every idea has to go somewhere, whether it is made reality or not. What happens when Earth and the Planet collide? Total chaos with a dash of romance!
This is a self insertion Me/Sephiroth romance adventure, though the character that is supposed to be 'Me' may change herself. I'm not just a writer; more like a Typing Monkey. I may set the scene, but I don't control the characters in my really good stories. I simply let them control themselves and I type. Where you see a bold numberlook at the bottom of the chapter for a further explanation of what came before it. Just match up the numbers. Also any time you see 'mimimi' is where something's gone untranslated. It may as well be unintelligible, so I decided to just write it as some meaningless syllables.
Also, I'd like to make a note that I've recently gone through and edited this story (as of June 05), so grammar, spelling, and a few plot things are slightly changed- not enough to alter the story, but I made it so that the ideas I had in the beginning of writing this match with what I've got further on. In my editing, I've kept the chapters as they were posted originally, except for taking out the various author's notes as they don't really apply anymore. My excuse for this fic taking so bloody long to finish is because I'd started college when I started writing it, and since then I've stopped talking to Chris, the guy I call Chris Flowers, and Michelle, so it's been a bit hard to keep writing it after they've ditched me. Oh well, makes me feel okay when I have their characters killed in nasty ways. Sadly, the cat I mention later, Mauxi, has also died. I miss Mauxi.
Suggestion: if you ever write a self insert fanfic, don't include your friends or anything you really would like to keep. I think writing them into a fic curses them.
On another note, this fic is rated 'Mature' for a reason! If you're squeamish about Citrus-type fics, don't read this one. If you read it anyway and are disgusted, then don't bitch at me, because this thing's full of Smut.
Please Review if you read this fic and give me suggestions on things such as description and plot and characterization, as I am using fanfics to practice my writing skills.
Velvet blackness was the root of all that existed in the void. It stretched for eternity, yet was small as a single tear. All things floated within this calm chaos. A breath would stir the stew of ideas like a flurry of snowflakes, yet things remained calm. One watched over this creation of chaotic order, she sat silently, waiting for her chosen few to call on her power.1
Her long flowing blonde hair swirled around her lithe form as she moved. Kicking off her seat of stars, she glided through her chaos like an angel through the mist. Her white robes floated around her as if in water; such orderly things as gravity had no hold on her. No light dared to show upon her face, for to do so would put order to what she embodied. Instead, she smiled and drifted through her worlds of Order, waiting for them to crumble and return to her.
Katy sat staring at her ceiling, not bothering to count the bumps, there were too many and she just wasn't that good at math or remembering where she'd already counted. Instead, she waited for the time when she would have to answer the call of morning and get up. Sure, it was Christmas break but she still had to get up and do things. She turned her eyes toward her right, and smiled at the wall scroll hanging beside her messy queen-sized bed. Sephiroth stared straight forward from where he stood on his white background with Meteor behind him.
"Ah... what I would give to actually meet him and have the chance to make him like me... of course, I'd rather have a crack at him before the Nibelheim incident. Damn Jenova. It's all her fault." She smiled a little wider as she imagined what it would be like to meet a teenage Sephiroth and let him do some things to her. She sighed then, her mind returning to reality as she recalled how incredibly disappointed with her first boyfriend she'd been. "Maybe he'll grow? And at the same time, maybe he'll grow up? How could I have settled for less than what I really want? Pity? Obviously." She scratched her head and pushed her unruly bangs back from her face. They were past her chin now and she wasn't going to cut them. She wanted to be able to clip them back into her usual ponytail or maybe even put them up Sephiroth style, but she didn't have enough hair to do that.
"Reality sucks," she proclaimed under her breath. "I don't want to have to go to school to get ready for a job. I don't wanna work with customers. I don't wanna work with math. I don't want to do anything other than what I love, and yet there seems to be no call for DEMONIC FANGIRLS in the workforce these days." Katy let loose a giggle at the thought of her so called "bad side" which she'd named DEMONIC FANGIRL. Of course, Sweet Angel Girl didn't show up all that often, Katy had let her best friend control that little character. "Do I even have an 'Angelic' side at all? If I had the body and confidence in myself for it I'd be out wearing black leather like Naga does!"2
Katy sighed and shifted in her bed, kicking her blankets off her gold nightgown clad figure. The fabric of her nightgown was gold satin and Katy figured that she could even wear it as a dress if she got the rest of herself dolled up good enough. Though, she had nowhere to wear something like that.
"I wonder if terror is a kind of bravery?" Katy said aloud as the thought occurred to her and she sat up. "Maybe I should write something about that?" she flopped back down, "too tired." A yawn escaped her and she lifted a hand to her mouth. After the yawn passed, she looked at her fingernails, once again finding blood underneath them.
"What is it that I keep scratching? I swear I don't have any scabs on me..." Once more, Katy sat up and adjusted her nightgown before sliding her feet toward the left side of her bed. "Hmm... so much for that superstition of getting up on the wrong side. The right side of my bed is against the wall!" Well... technically. Since she didn't have a headboard or footboard, her bed was sort of upside down, though she always slept with her feet towards the window, so maybe she was getting up on the right side of the bed. She let the thought drop as it was a bit too complicated to think about at... she glanced at the clock set on a locker shelf in the gap between her bed and the wall- oh... noon.
As she got up, her leg scraped against a box beside her bed and she hissed in pain. "Bugger it." She kicked the box away and put her feet on the blue-grey carpeted floor. "I want doughnuts for breakfast. Wonder if I can talk mom into giving me money to buy them? Probably not." Flopping back on the bed, she stared up at Sephiroth and imagined dirty things once more, a slight smile on her face.
Sephiroth sat at the campfire nearest his tent, his legs folded Indian style, hands hanging between his knees. He gazed at the flames before him, watching his bangs flow into his vision from time to time. What is the point of all of this? He asked himself in his mind, taking the time to think the words out rather than just pondering the question as an amorphous form. It had definition now, though there still were no clean edges for him to find and rip the answer from.
What is the point of being here? Even if I win the war, life won't improve for any of these people. With a sigh, he shifted his position, his foot starting to fall asleep from having his thigh resting so heavily on it. He glanced up to find some of his men watching him covertly. It wasn't often that Sephiroth came out of his tent at night and seemed the least bit like he wanted to be with other people. They don't know how lonely I am. They don't know how much I'd like to just forget about all of this and be normal. They talk of their loved ones at home and I have no one.
Finally, he stood and left the warmth of his campfire, heading back into his tent. The canvas flap fell back into place behind him once he was inside the small white tent and he reached toward the dimly glowing lantern hanging from the pole in the center of his tent. Deftly, he turned up the flame on it and sat down on the pallet on the ground that he'd been sleeping in for almost a year now. This war is useless. And yet it's my job to stomp the daylights out of the people of Wutai. What if I feel sorry for them? What if I like the way they live? He heaved a sigh once more and reached into his pack, pulling out a notepad and pen.
He needed a release of some sort from the leaden feeling in his heart. Slowly, he penned out his deepest wish onto the paper and stared at it. "Stupid," he muttered and ripped the page out of the notebook. He looked at it carefully again, staring at the black ink letters. Finally, he ripped off the strip that he'd written on and crumpled the rest of the paper, stuffing the notepad, pen, and rest of the paper back into his bag. He stared at the strip of paper he held once more. I can't throw it away. I'd be throwing my own desires away, as if I didn't even matter to myself. With great care, he folded the paper and tied it, sticking it into the pocket of his coat before he took it off and turned down the flame on his lantern.
Laying back down on his pallet, he stared up at the roof of his tent, feeling the chilly air of deep winter creeping in from under the edges of his tent and rising from the ground. He closed his eyes, forcing his body to relax. His thoughts returned to his wish and he fell into sleep, still thinking of it.
1 LoN: Lord of Nightmares, Lord of the Dreams that Terrify, or L-sama, she is the creator of all order, the embodiment of chaos. To call upon her power is to invite her into your own body. To lose control of the spell that calls upon her power is to doom your world to a reunion with its creator, the Lord of Nightmares. (Slayers)
2 Naga: Naga the White Serpent, a very well endowed woman with a laugh bad enough to scare off even saints. Her usual outfit actually covers less than her bathing suit. (Slayers)