A/N: Everyone ready? Okay! *Takes a deep breath* HAPPY LAVIYU DAY!! (Why can't you use different font sizes here?) Today's the day, finally, and I've got three stories to publish! Two oneshots and the first chapter (or rather, the prologue) of my long AU fiction. :3 So this is the first one. And... MY FIRST LAVIKANDA STORY! WOOT! I dunno WHY I haven't written anything before! Lazyness I guess. I needed a deadline to get my ass to write some, apparently.
Rather generic title, blah, but whatever.
Title: You Can't Fool Me
Summary: Lavi has always been fake. Kanda knew that. But it was only when they became really close that he found out just how right he had actually been. LaviKanda/LaviYu, oneshot, light yaoi.
Pairing: LaviKanda/LaviYu. It might seem a bit hinted AllenLena, but you can choose if it's supposed to be or not yourself. It wasn't meant to be pairing-ish. xP
Genre: Drama (I think? I'm not sure I can write it all that well... Heh), romance.
Warnings: Light yaoi, which means boyxboy love. Don't like, don't read. Kanda's dirty mouth, err... Hopefully I don't have to warn for crappines? I like this one... Yeah, I think that's it.
I don't own or in any way claim to own DGM or its characters. They all belong to Hoshino Katsura - bless her. I just like to play around with her characters. I apologize. xD
There may be some spelling mistakes in there, because I had to write this in WordPad which doesn't have any spellchecker, but I did read it through quite a number of times so I hope it's alright.
And please review. I wanna know what you guys think!
Okay, I'm not gonna keep ranting anymore. Enjoy!
You Can't Fool Me
Kanda Yu may be a very short-tempered and quite rude man, but he did have a strong sense of justice and principles and whatnot. Lying for example was a horrible thing. What was the meaning? Sure, he could lie to, but it was always for special reasons. What those may be? If he had for example gotten ordered to do it, then it was his duty to do it, even though he didn't exactly like the idea. If it could help him finish a mission, then he would do it too. But those were the only times he would do it. Well, almost, anyway. There were a few secrets he would do anything to keep hidden as well, so he did lie to do that. Not that he was a very good liar in the first place...
That was one of the reasons he liked Lenalee so much. She very rarely lied. He wasn't sure she had ever lied, to be honest (and he was most often very honest). She was very honourable like that. If there was ever a reason for her to lie, it was to protect someone close to her, and if you asked him that was a good reason to. There was just nothing wrong with her. Well, alright, she had her flaws, but nothing too big.
People he didn't like on the other hand were those who lied in hopes of not hurting those close to them when in reality they just did the opposite. Like Allen, for example. As much as he seemed like a sweet, polite and honest person, he was just one big fake. A liar. All of him. He would hide it all behind that beaming smile of his and pretend it was all alright. Like when he seemed to be down and Lenalee asked him about it, and he would say that he was perfectly fine and smile like that.
Alright, so Kanda had done that a few times too, aside from the smiling part (eww, just no), but he didn't do it all the time. He could sometimes tell Lenalee if something was bothering him, but most often it was just none of her concern. He knew he could rely on her anyway. He knew he wasn't all alone like he would like to be, while Allen just seemed to refuse to accept that and kept on thinking that if he just kept lying he wouldn't hurt anyone else. What bullshit. Lenalee was hurt by how he never told her anything when he was obviously troubled.
Komui was a very honest man too. Almost too honest, sometimes. Although he did know when to keep his mouth shut. Kanda admired him quite a lot, even if sometimes he was just plain stupid and you couldn't help but wonder how the hell he became the Supervisor. When he acted all business-like however you could really see why. If he could just grow out of his stupidity...
And then there was Lavi... The biggest lie of them all. As much of a great actor as he may be, Kanda knew. Because Lavi was, even though he wasn't all that happy to admit it, one of his closest friends. And he wasn't stupid. He had always had a hunch, but when he finally realized that it was actually completely true, he had somehow actually ended up in bed with that redhead.
Yeah, so they were closer than just friends. Kanda wasn't sure how it had happened, exactly, but it did happen. And he got the true face of Lavi with the same package.
. . .
Kanda's rather pleasant sleep was interrupted by the tickling of hair on his neck. Normally he wouldn't have woken up by such a thing. The reason he was this time was that it reminded him of just what had happened yesterday night. Something he didn't want to happen again, damn it all. Why did it keep happening? Didn't he have any willpower at all? That warmth just wasn't pleasant anymore.
He pried the arms that were embracing him off himself and slowly sat up, wincing slightly. Damn that decreasing healing rate. Damn that idiot Junior Bookman.
. . .
Hot breath brushed past Kanda's ear and caused him to shiver, which he surely didn't like. He didn't welcome that breath, but his body was reacting to it anyway. He was pressed deeper into the cushions of the bed and tried to struggle. Growling, he glared up at the redheaded idiot as best as he could in that position. Damn Lavi for being so physically strong and heavy... He didn't really have a change when it was just those two things that made the difference. He could win, or whatever, but it was tough.
But with that heavy weight on his back and his wrists held firmly in place by those rough and inked hands he was rather powerless, as much as he hated to admit that.
"I said that we're over with," he said dryly and bit down on his lip to keep quiet as Lavi's tongue darted out to lick his neck quickly. That redhead was freaking purring, as much as a human being could purr. If you could call Lavi a human being... And the purring was annoying like hell, because it really told Kanda how pleased the guy was and he didn't need that. That freaking bastard just wouldn't understand.
"You keep saying that but you still let me do this," Lavi mumbled smoothly.
. . .
Kanda buried his face in his hands, frowning and glaring down at the floor. It was so damn annoying because Lavi had a fucking point. It had been a tough decision but he was sure that was how he wanted it, and yet he couldn't get himself to stop feeling. He didn't want to have feelings for someone like that. Lavi was just one big lie and Kanda had seen the real him. And the real him was unpleasant as hell. It was like he just saw through everything and didn't have any feelings. He was just so blank and cold, but he still said that he loved Kanda.
Kanda just didn't understand that. He didn't want that person to "love" him and he didn't want to have feelings for that person. No, he didn't love that person. The actual Lavi maybe (Okay, not maybe, he did love Lavi), but not that version of him. And he was still mad at himself for loving someone who wasn't even real. It was so fucking stupid. Out of all people he could fall for...
It was so annoying that the version of Lavi that he wasn't sure what to call knew about his feelings too and obviously used them; as much as Kanda insisted that they were no longer together he still couldn't properly refuse the redhead what he wanted. He could talk, sure, but he couldn't act to live up to what he said. He did somewhat like it too, though he hated it. And even if he did sort of like it he wasn't really comfortable with it because it wasn't Lavi. Not the Lavi he knew anyway. Even if Lavi was a lie, he still loved him. Damn it. And he had been so sure about breaking up too, but the longer time that passed the more he doubted that decision. And "Lavi's" (though Lavi would most likely be the same on that matter...) stubborn nature surely didn't help, because that redhead hadn't accepted his decision. Or just refused to believe that was what he wanted.
His thoughts were interrupted as he felt arms wrap around him and something hot pressing against his back. He tensed slightly and twitched a bit, turning his head to the side to glare at who he knew was there. "Lavi" with that fake smile (a smile more fake than usual; it had always been fake). Why hadn't he heard the shuffling of blankets or whatever sound that redhead had made when he moved to do that? He should have.
"Let go of me," he said coldly.
"Aww, come on now, don't be like that the morning after," Lavi said with a slightly whining tone and pouted, nuzzling his nose against Kanda's ear.
Kanda shivered lightly and cursed himself for finding the sensation pleasant. But Lavi's words just made his annoyance grow. Lavi talked as if he was just some sort of possession, and it pissed him off. The redhead did that often, really, and that was exactly what the biggest problem was, the thing that bothered Kanda the most. He wasn't some fucking thing that Lavi owned, damn it. He wasn't a toy.
He snarled and leaned his head slightly forward. As he drove his head backwards again he was satisfied to hear a muffled pained sound and a barely noticeable crack. He was pretty sure he had at least made a crack in Lavi's nose bone. He smirked and forcibly moved away from the arm that was still holding him – the other arm had probably moved to hold a hurting nose.
He ignored the silent pained noises that came from Lavi as he limped around the room to pick up his clothes, a frown on his face. He wasn't planning to stay, so as soon as he put on his boxers and pants he went for the door. He was just about to open it when a hand slammed against it beside his head. His frown deepened and he turned his head.
"What is it?" he asked in a low tone.
"What did ya do that for Yu-chan?" Lavi asked instead of answering, lips brushing against Kanda's ear, breath tickling. His voice sounded a bit strange due to his nose nearly being crushed. Kanda had trouble making out the kind of tone in it, if it was blank, cold, malicious or innocent... It somewhat scared him that he couldn't, because he should be able to. He knew Lavi, damn it all.
"Because you wouldn't let go," he replied as bluntly and blankly as he possibly could and really hoped none of his hesitation shone through. "I'm done here, so I'm leaving."
"That's not how it works, Yu-chan," Lavi said with slight amusement in his tone. Kanda could feel the smile against the skin of his ear, and it angered him, causing him to twitch and barely keep himself from snapping completely. And Goddamn that awful nickname.
Wait, nevermind not snapping. Why should he care about that? Who the fuck was Lavi to tell him what worked and what didn't anyway? He snarled again and turned back around, gripping Lavi's shoulders and pushing him back, letting out a low growl and glaring at the Junior Bookman with as much hate as he could manage towards that man.
"Don't you fucking come and tell me what's right and what's not," he hissed angrily. "Last time I checked the one here who's pulling all of the bullshit is you, not me. You don't give a crap about me, you're only doing this for your own sake. So why the fuck should I CARE?!"
He shoved Lavi away hard enough for the latter to fall violently to the floor and stormed out of the room, looking so pissed that anyone he passed didn't even dare to give him strange looks for the current state he was in and his slight limping and simply moved out of the way as quickly as they could.
. . .
Kanda wasn't able to calm down completely until he had showered, fixed himself a bit and settled down for some quick meditation. The darkness of the calm mind managed to cool him down rapidly and he had stayed there for a while to get some peace. He was still slightly irritated as he stopped and went to get some breakfast, but at least he wasn't fuming so much that he couldn't think properly. Once he reached the cafeteria he put on a scowl so that no one would dare even look at him as he ordered his food and walked to sit down at the farthest corner of the room. He didn't know if Lavi was there, neither did he care. Seeing the redhead right now would probably just piss him off again anyway, so he was just happy that he didn't see him anywhere. It wasn't like he was searching for him.
He was hoping to get a peaceful meal, but someone just had to decide to walk over there and sit down opposite of him. He saw it out of the corner of his eyes and he twitched. It better not be Lavi. If it was he would make sure that the idiot rabbit were on his knees and begging for his life. Kanda's lips formed a smirk at the image of it as he raised his head to glare at whoever dared interrupting his meal.
His anger subsided rapidly as he was met with the worried eyes of one Lenalee Lee and he bit back the rude greeting that almost slipped out of his mouth. He didn't like when Lenalee looked at him with those eyes; it made him feel guilty. It meant she was worried about him, and he didn't like to be the reason for her worry.
"Lenalee," he said with a slightly surprised tone. "Is something wrong?"
She tried to smile, but it wasn't very successful at all, and straightened out her skirt before folding her hands in her lap. She was a good girl...
"I just want to check and see if everything is alright with you," she said softly. "You seem to be more tense than usual lately so I was beginning to wonder. I already tried talking with Lavi since it's the same with him but he wouldn't say anything."
Kanda tensed at the mention of Lavi's name and clenched his teeth, returned his gaze to the bowl of soba and continued to eat. He felt Lenalee's eyes on him and swallowed the bite. Closing his eyes, he sighed softly and tried to calm himself down again and relax. He knew very well he might as well just have said that he and Lavi were not exactly on the best of terms at the moment when he reacted like that.
"I'll manage," he said bitterly and stabbed the chopstick into a rather big onion piece. "You don't need to worry." He glared at the wall behind Lenalee and put the onion into his mouth rather violently.
"Kanda," she said sternly and he reluctantly looked back at her again. "You can't tell me that I don't need to worry. You're my family." He snorted lightly. "I mean it. You're important to me and if there's anything wrong I will worry."
Kanda sighed and shook his head slightly, deciding to just continue eating his food for now. She would most likely come up with some theory, she always did. And most often it was right too.
"Something happened with you and Lavi, right?" she asked carefully after a minute or two, tilting her head slightly and eyeing him with a sad frown. "There has been this tension between you two lately and I hate to see both of you like that."
Straight on the spot. She was really a very smart girl. Kanda wasn't happy that she could figure things out like that, but he probably would have told her eventually anyway because he couldn't stand seeing her worried and he knew that keeping it from her would only make it worse, even if he wished it wouldn't. She would have found out eventually either way and he had expected her to notice and ask sooner or later, too.
He simply nodded as an answer.
Lenalee was the only one who knew as far as he had been informed, although it wouldn't surprise him if Bean Sprout knew too; Lenalee seemed to share everything with that brat (or maybe she didn't, but it sure seemed like it). Whatever, he didn't care... anymore.
The Chinese girl sighed and smiled sadly at him. "You should sort it out with him," she said, softly but still with a sharp undertone.
"Che!" Kanda answered furiously as he finished the soba and swiped up the tea in one breath.
"Don't you 'che' at me," she said and frowned. "I'm serious. Running from it won't help and Lavi—"
He slammed the tea cup onto the table and stood up. "Lavi doesn't care!" he growled. "Whatever it was that drove him to it in the first place I have no clue about, but I'm completely sure that what drives him now is nothing but his own selfish need and greed to experience and find out everything. 'Lavi' is just one big fucking lie and we're NOTHING but objects whose feelings and thoughts don't matter AT ALL to him!"
He had somehow ended up screaming and catching the attention of everyone in the cafeteria, but he didn't fucking care because Lenalee didn't see it and thought that bastard actually had a heart or something of the like. What bullshit!
He stormed out of the cafeteria, nearly knocking down Allen who was rushing towards what he guessed was a very upset Lenalee. The brat had probably glared at him with hatred too but he didn't care. Why should he? Allen was just a naive kid. He felt a bit of guilt for yelling at Lenalee, and such a thing too, but it was quickly pushed away by his anger.
. . .
Allen sat down next to Lenalee and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her a bit closer. Her head was lowered, concealing her eyes, so he wasn't very sure how she was feeling. But he guessed she was quite upset. It looked like it anyway. Damn that Kanda, he was such a jerk! Allen had considered marching after him and throttling him for saying such things at first but had in the end decided to try and comfort Lenalee. But he was sure to deal with that "pretty" Japanese later.
"Don't listen to that idiot, Lenalee," he muttered and stroked her arm. "That jerk isn't worth listening to, you know. He should—"
"Allen," Lenalee interrupted and raised her head, looking at him with a stern gaze despite her teary eyes. "Kanda's not a bad person." He barely managed to suppress a loud snort, though she was probably right. "He... does have a point, although he exaggerated it a bit." She sniffed lightly and turned a bit so that she could rest her forehead on Allen's shoulder. "Lavi used to not care very much, when he first got here, you know. He seemed very fake."
Allen blinked and stared at Lenalee. That felt a bit unlikely; the redhead had never given him that kind of idea ever since they met, and he was pretty much a master in faking. It had come with being a student of General Cross, partly. He guessed he was at fault too sometimes, but he always had other's best at heart. Although Lenalee had scolded him for that, saying that he didn't need to hide it and that others would always be there for him. He frowned at the memory.
"But that changed," Lenalee continued, quieter this time. "And Kanda knows that too. He's just hurt, and Lavi's the one who has hurt him. He must've stopped believing that Lavi actually cares... Lavi's just very stupid and dense sometimes." She laughed softly and lifted a hand to clench Allen's shirt slightly. "He has a hard time understanding when he does something wrong and someone has to tell him. I guess Kanda doesn't want to sit him down and tell him off. It's not what Kanda does."
She sighed softly and raised her head again, looking at Allen. She already looked like she felt a bit better. "I'm going to do that instead," she said with a determined tone and nodded, as if to confirm it. "I'm going to talk to Lavi and tell him how much of an idiot he is."
Allen smiled. Lenalee was back. "Sounds like a plan," he said and removed his arm from her shoulders.
Well, Lavi could be a bit of an idiot, that was true.
. . .
So much for the calm Kanda had managed to recollect during his meditation. And this time he didn't manage to do it again. There were simply too many thoughts swirling around in his mind. First was the anger at Lavi and his stupidity that was the most obvious, then came the guilt from yelling at Lenalee, then came the doubt, then the irritation at the Bean Sprout... And there were a few others there that he wasn't sure what it was.
Kanda wasn't used to having so many thoughts in his head. He was usually a rather simple person. He wasn't simple minded or ignorant, no (...well, maybe sometimes), he just didn't like to think too much. It was beginning to give him a headache, having all those things screaming at him in his mind.
Eventually he just settled with lying down on his bed and staring at the ceiling for a while. That was actually quite calming too, although it wasn't as efficient as meditation. In most cases anyway. Surprisingly it seemed to help a lot towards this, as staring at that one spot in the ceiling made it possible for him to just ignore all those thoughts easier than he had while meditating. He felt like just staying there for the rest of the day because he didn't want to hear those thoughts again, but he knew that eventually he would have to move.
Apparently the peace wasn't meant to last for all that much longer... He heard the door open but kept his gaze firmly upwards. He didn't need to look to know who it was. There was only one person in the whole HQ stupid enough not to knock before walking into his room, and that was Lavi. What the fuck did he want now?
"Get out," he greeted. "I don't want to see your face."
"Then don't look at it," came Lavi's reply. He didn't honestly think it was that simple, did he? If he did, Kanda was going to kill him for being so damn stupid.
It actually did sound like Lavi, though, so Kanda was almost, almost, tempted to look anyway. But he wouldn't, because then he would do what he said he wouldn't and he would hate himself for it.
'...I really need to stop thinking so much,' he told himself angrily.
"Che," he muttered.
"Lenalee talked to me," Lavi continued.
Kanda barely stopped himself from glancing at the redhead. What?
"She was quite angry."
There was a light scratching sound. The idiot probably scratched his head.
Didn't he have anything better to say? Like telling Lavi to get the hell out again?
"Yu, would you please just listen to me for once?"
The tone was pleading. Kanda was slightly surprised by that. Despite what he said, he tore his eyes from the ceiling and looked down at Lavi, eyes slightly narrowed.
"Why should I?" he asked, sneering. The Junior Bookman opened his mouth to say something, but Kanda wouldn't let him talk. "You just lie all the time. You can't fool me. Everything you do, everything you say, it's all fake. I'm not going to listen to someone like that. You've got nothing valuable to say."
"Yu, I'm not lying to you!" Lavi insisted and made a tired motion with his hand. He looked ready to give up. Kanda wasn't going to get fooled, though. It had to be an act. Where the hell did the cold and uncaring Lavi he had seen so often go? What did the redhead think of him? He wasn't dense. "What reason do I have to do that?"
Kanda sat up and put his hand on the hilt of his sword. "You know I've got secrets but I won't tell them," he stated and twitched. "You're curious about why I'm so annoyed all the time. You crave to know as much as possible, but you know nothing about me. What better way is there to get it out of me than getting as close to me as possible?" He felt a bit contented at Lavi's stumped expression. "I know you. Now get the hell out before I cut you up. I never gave you permission to go into my room."
"Is that how you think of me?" Lavi asked silently, apparently ignoring the last two lines – no surprise there. "That's harsh..."
Lavi often said that. But it had never sounded this sad and honest. Kanda almost felt his stubbornness break. But he wasn't that weak, was he? No, no way. Lavi was a great actor. He had to keep that in mind.
...but why did it seem so real even if he did?
He was really getting too soft, wasn't he?
"Is it really?" he snarled. "What reason have you given me to believe anything else?"
So at least the idiot knew he had done something wrong. He probably didn't know just what, though.
He pulled the sword out a bit. "I've got nothing more to say to you, so leave," he hissed.
Lavi looked like he was holding something in, so Kanda raised an eyebrow questioningly. It wasn't like Lavi was going to leave either way... Kanda might end up seriously hurting him soon, nevermind how honest he seemed.
"Why won't you tell me if I'm doing something wrong?!" he burst out and made a rapid motion with his hands. He was beginning to look frustrated. "You become cold and you shut me out and you tell me a lot of things but you never say what's wrong!"
Kanda snorted. "If you can't see it, you're really as stupid as you seem," he stated and unsheathed Mugen as he got off the bed. "I'm done with you. We're done with each other, so get the fuck out already! I don't want to see you in my room again ever again, you hear me?!"
He raised the sword, but Lavi had walked up to him and grabbed his wrist before he could do something. And before he knew it or had the time to say anything Lavi's lips were covering his own.
He twitched and was about to bite down on the redhead's lip, but he never got the chance as the short kiss broke just before he managed to do that. Damn it.
"You need to tell me, Yu," Lavi said softly, and Kanda could feel his breath on his lips.
He narrowed his eyes, Lavi's calm and slightly sad look only serving in annoying him more. How the hell did the redhead manage to do that? He didn't feel like hurting that idiot anymore. Could it return, perhaps? He would like that very much.
Fucking rabbit and his persuasion skills (Maybe it hadn't exactly been persuasion, but that wasn't the point).
"Because I don't know how things work!"
Kanda raised both eyebrows. "What the fuck are you talking about?"
Lavi kept saying that he didn't know things but he didn't explain... He who usually talked so freaking much, and now he barely said anything at all. He usually didn't make any sense, but now Kanda really had no clue what he was trying to say.
"This whole relationship thing!" Lavi was really beginning to look desperate and... hopeless? Now that was ridiculous. ...well, Lavi was ridiculous, even more so now. Why did Kanda fall for him again?
The Japanese snorted. "And you think I know?" he asked ironically. "If you do, you're mistaking. But I do know when there's something off. If you can't see it for yourself, then why should I bother?"
Lavi frowned sadly, his eye seeming to beg Kanda for something – forgiveness maybe? He wasn't sure how much longer he could stand his ground right now... How could Lavi make him so soft?
"Because you love me, and you know it," the redhead said, with a tone that made Kanda free his wrist and jump back, pointing Mugen at the face of the man in front of him.
"That's what I'm talking about, you jerk," he said silently, slowly, maliciously. "You talk as if you know everything, as if you own me, as if I should give up everything just because I 'love you'." Lavi tilted his head to the side, but still looked somewhat sad and confused. Kanda paused for a while, just glaring at the Bookman Junior, before he spoke again, somewhat softly and with a hint of regret. "I don't deny it... But I do have self respect. If you think I'll take just any crap from you because you're important to me, you need to think again."
"I... Yu... I don't..." Lavi said and let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair. "...don't point that thing at me, please, you're not helping."
"I'm not trying to," Kanda said and smirked a bit. "I just want you out of my room."
"Then why aren't you throwing me out?" Lavi asked.
Kanda frowned. That was a good question. Why wasn't he? He could easily do that. He didn't want Lavi to stay deep down, right? He didn't want this to work out, did he? That was stupid, naive, foolish, it wasn't going to turn out like that. He had given it a shot, but it hadn't worked out.
'But what if it just needs some work? You were happy before things started to go wrong,' a little voice inside his head suddenly said. He twitched.
No, that was bullshit. He didn't want to try to work on something. He had been fine before without the kind of intimacy that having a lover brought. He could be fine now too, right?
...but before he hadn't known how it was to have someone that close, and he had actually liked it in the beginning...
"I don't know," he muttered bitterly and looked to the side, glaring angrily at the wall. "Maybe because I don't... really... want you to leave."
There, so he had crumbled in the end anyway. It pissed him off somewhat... His feelings for Lavi had more power over him than he liked. He did enjoy being around that rabbit even if he wasn't treated like he wanted. Maybe it was worth fighting for? He didn't really know, so perhaps he should try.
The air suddenly disappeared as Lavi had apparently decided that this was a reason for him to deliver one of his literally breathtaking hugs. Kanda twitched and tried to squirm, but that hug really made it impossible to move.
"Lavi... Let go," he managed to barely get out, though he must have sounded somewhat threatening at least as Lavi actually did let go right afterwards with a quick "sorry".
"Che," Kanda grumbled after he caught his breath. "Baka Usagi."
Fine, he would give it a shot. Though Lavi better try to change his ways a bit.
Or maybe he shouldn't expect too much...