Howdy y'all! We're very excited to bring you the first chapter of our latest Twilight-themed story: Vampire-O-Lanterns: A Cullen Family Halloween Special. Now this is just the first chapter and it will be the set-up for the rest of the story but we hope you enjoy it nonetheless. As you'll see a few certain someones are already getting into trouble in the name of Halloween. I'd like to thank my co-author for helping with the title and coming up with part of this chapter and some of the ideas for the coming chapters. "Do you have anything you want to say to the people who are reading this, *insert co-author's name*?" "Um, enjoy! Grab some candy! Sit in the car. Try not to get any caramel in your hair."
Once again we ask that people who think the characters are acting OOC or that this story is "too silly" we politely request that you not bother us. We're not writing this story to be published, we are simply two crazy girls who enjoy wreaking havok in the lives of the Cullens and Bella. Any people who wish to tell us that our story was funny or cute or anything along those lines, please, don't hesitate to review! Oh and all characters are (c) of Stephenie Meyer! Thanks!
Chapter 1: Omelets Anyone?
Sometimes I like to imagine what it would be like if I wasn't friends with Alice or if she wasn't a vampire like the rest of the Cullens. I suppose even if she was human she would still have the same enthusiasm and love of fashion. This means that the only way I could have avoided this disaster was if I wasn't friends with Alice. But I was dating Edward and was very close with his entire family, which included Alice. In hindsight I really should have seen this coming.
It seemed like just an ordinary Wednesday. Boring classes, except for those I had with Edward, and lots of homework. Finally, though, it was lunchtime. This meant I got to see all the Cullens together for a period. I sat down next to Edward with my usual tray of food and caught the end of Alice's argument with the rest of the Cullens.
"All we need is to go to them and they won't be able to resist us! We'll pour on the charm and we'll be sure to get our way. Besides, it will be so much fun and you know Carlisle and Esme will enjoy it. And Rose you can come with me and I've got a bunch of great ideas."
I leaned over to Edward, "What's going on?"
"Alice is getting ready for Halloween."
"You guys celebrate?"
"I usually don't but Alice and Jasper seem to think it's their required duty to celebrate, being vampires and all. Rosalie and Emmett use it as an excuse to buy more clothes and disturbing outfits and Esme and Carlisle usually just get simple outfits and hand out candy."
I took a bite of pizza and watched Alice go back to pleading. Then she noticed me and smiled. "Bella are you excited for Halloween?"
"Nope. I don't celebrate it. I'll sit at home with a white sheet over my head and pretend to be a ghost while passing out candy to whoever comes to the house."
"Aw, you're dull. Why don't you spend Halloween with us?"
"Alice, why do you always-"
"Great! Now that you're on board I need your help. Mike is on the student council and I need you to convince him to let us have a costume contest that runs for a week."
"Why a week?"
"Because I can't decide on just one theme."
"Wait a minute, you guys are doing this, too," I asked, turning to look at Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper. "Even you, Edward?"
Edward grimaced. "I'm afraid I don't have a choice, love. Alice is blackmailing me. Or, more specifically, she's blackmailing you. And I won't stand for that! So I had to give in and sign us up for Alice's Halloween scheme."
"Edward, scheme is such an ugly word. I prefer master plan. As in, my master plan for world domination." She grinned evilly. I sighed, just another average day with the Cullens.
The rest of the period went by without much excitement, Alice was rambling on about her plans for brainwashing the student council, Rosalie was filing her nails, Jasper and Emmett were talking about something with video games or sports; I didn't really pay attention. And Edward and I sat and talked about our plans for this weekend; nothing new was happening but we were going to watch a movie and spend the day together, like always.
But I should have known that something terrible awaited me at the end of the day. The signs were all there, but I was in denial, refusing to believe that Alice would go through this. Refusing to accept the inevitable torture. But sure enough as soon as classes were out I found myself being dragged to the student council room by Alice.
"Alice, tell me again why I have to come along."
"Because, Bella, Mike is the representative for our grade. And I need you to charm him because he won't fall for my vampire tricks."
I groaned. "Does Edward know I'm doing this?"
"Yes, and I don't like it," Edward said, appearing next to us. "But Alice is blackmailing you so I don't think there's any getting out of this."
"You mentioned that before. What does she have that's so incriminating?"
"Bella, do you remember when I took you shopping the last time you stayed at our house?"
"Which time? The time when you bought the cheerleading costume or the time when we bought the maid's uniform?"
"The first one. Well no one ever made me delete it. So if you don't do what I say then the yearbook is going to have some very interesting photos in it."
"You wouldn't dare."
Drat, she had me there. "Fine, I'll do it. But you might want to keep a barf bag handy for after this. And some mouthwash. This is going to be worse than torture."
And so I'd steeled my shoulders and barged into the room. Ten horrifying minutes of complimenting Mike's "muscles" and his "adorable" haircut and generally pretending to flirt with him, and a few persuasions from Alice later, we had our contest. As long as the students did all the set up we were allowed to hold the contest in the gym and we agreed to meet again tomorrow to sort out the official details.
We quietly exited the room and I rushed into Edward's waiting arms. "That was horrible," I grumbled. "I don't think I can get this horrible taste out of my mouth. My lips feel dirty from having complimented Mike so much."
"Maybe this will help," Edward said, leaning down and kissing me, long and soft.
"Mmm, that definitely helped. More. I think a good make-out session should solve this little problem. But not here, my house. Charlie won't be home until late."
Edward smiled and next thing I knew we were sitting on my bed and kissing. And it was wonderful . . . at least it was wonderful while it lasted. All too soon I felt Edward frown and heard Alice's irritatingly cheerful voice begin to ramble on about Halloween costumes and themes.
I groaned and pulled away from Edward, settling on his lap, his fingers weaving through my hair, stroking and braiding it.
"Alright, Bella, let's start with your costume first, because you'll be the hardest one. Let's see," Alice tapped in chin for a moment in fake consideration. I knew she would have already planned something out, but since Edward wasn't objecting fiercely I figured that it couldn't be too bad. "I've got it! You'll be a bunny!"
Well it wouldn't have been my first choice of costumes, but considering it was Alice I was dealing with, a bunny wouldn't be too bad. Might even be halfway decent with her fashion sense. Maybe this Halloween Costume Contest wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
"Yep," Alice said. "You would make an adorable Playboy Bunny."
"What?" I yelled.
"What!" Edward bellowed, accidentally and involuntarily jerking on a section of hair he was braiding.
"Ow, ow, ow!"
"Sorry," He apologized. "Alice caught me off guard, all she kept thinking was 'bunny' and she was holding onto an image of a fluffy white rabbit like you see in children's books and cartoons."
"It's alright, Edward," I said as Edward began to cautiously braid my hair again.
"Whoops," Alice said. "Maybe it was a little soon for that one. How about we just do a traditional angels and devils theme first?" This time we knew better than to respond until we heard her full explanation. "For you two I'm thinking something along the lines of this," she pulled out a piece of paper with very detailed sketches. We looked over the designs she had for each of us and, unable to find anything explicit, finally agreed. "You guys shouldn't be so nervous; I'm capable of keeping your costumes PG." She grinned as a wave of extreme calm floated over us.
"Jasper," Edward groaned. With came out as more of a mumble given his relaxed mood.
"And that's my cue to exit," Alice said, darting to the window. "By the way, Bella, Charlie will be home in about twenty minutes. And he'll need you to make dinner, better get your homework done now. And do it quick!" And then she was gone.
I sighed. I didn't want to do homework but I figured I had no choice. Sure enough, Charlie sent me a text message, with the words all spelled out, saying he would be home early and asking if I could make dinner earlier. I sent a reply and then started on my homework which, with Edward's help, went very quickly. And in no time I was down in the kitchen with Edward chopping vegetables for stir fry. I was using the recipe we had learned in cooking class last week.
I was mixing the chicken and pasta in with the vegetables in the wok when I felt Edward give a quick peck on the cheek. I heard the echo of his voice saying, "See you later, love," and then Charlie walked in the front door.
"Hey, Dad, dinner's almost ready."
"Ah, thanks Bells. Sorry to work you like this but they announced a surprise staff meeting for later tonight and I have to go."
"Its fine, Dad. How was work?"
"Pretty good, Bells, pretty good."
The rest of the night went smoothly, Charlie finished his dinner, showered and then headed off to the staff meeting, I checked my email and replied to Renée who had sent me a message, and then Edward stopped by to hum my lullaby.
In other words everything was business as usual. The only thing that was different was Alice rambling on about the costume contest at lunch. The only benefit of us being involved in the contest was that we got to skip our last two classes to plan things out with the council. By the end of school on Friday, everything had been planned out. Since most of the student council had elective classes, like cooking, woodshop, study hall and gym, in the second half of the day, it was decided that the members would be allowed to skip class in order to prepare the gym; of course the Cullens were included in this group. The contest would have three categories students could enter under: single, couples, or group. Each student, couple or group could enter as many times as they wanted provided that each day had a different costume. On the final day there would be a big dance at night and the winner, or winners of the contest would be announced.
Basically the thing was going to take over the school, classes would grind to a halt while the students tried to gather groups and finish costumes and build the runway and make decorations. The contest would begin on Monday the twenty second. Which was still awhile away, considering it was only the twelfth.
After school Alice bounced alongside me, simply pulsing with excitement. "Are you excited yet, Bella? Are you ready, Bella? Do you want to come shopping with me yet, Bella?"
"Alice," I said, spinning to face her. "If you were a human I would tell you to lay off the sugar and switch to decaf."
"But I'm not human! This means I have endless hours to go shopping for Halloween supplies! And if you don't come with me then you can't stop me from buying you crazy things to wear!"
Drat, once again I was stuck. I would have to go shopping with Alice to ensure that she wouldn't come back with a shirt whose neckline was down to my waist and heels that were a foot high.
"Don't worry; Rosalie and Esme are coming, too!" Alice chirped, hopping into my ancient truck and gunning the engine. In no time at all we were back at my house and Alice was scrawling out a note for Charlie. I took out the left-over vegetables from the stir fry and put it into a big pot so that Charlie could have soup for dinner in case Alice kept me out all night.
And in the next moment I heard someone honking outside and sure enough, Rosalie was leaning her head out the driver's window and shouting for us to get in. We did and suddenly I found myself standing outside the mall . . . again. Ever since I met Alice and Rosalie, it seemed like I was at the mall more than I was at my own house. Before we went inside Alice gave us all assignments.
"Rosalie, you were helping me make the costume designs so you know what you're looking for. You are in charge of finding any dresses, shirts, pants or skirts that we can use in our outfits. Bella, you're the most familiar with the human side of Halloween. You will be in charge of finding good candy and other Halloween themed foodstuffs. Esme, you'll go with Bella but you will be in charge of finding decorations, everything from toilet paper to blow-up lawn ornaments."
"Why do we need toilet paper?" Esme asked.
"Teenagers like to prank each other on the thirtieth of October, or Mischief Night, by throwing toilet paper in their neighbor's trees."
Esme still looked confused but she shrugged and we all hopped out of the car.
"Hey, Alice, what are you going to be getting?"
Alice grinned, "Shoes!"
I rolled my eyes; I really should have expected that. And thus began our exciting trip through the mall. Although, for once, nothing exceptionally crazy happened. No one popped out from behind the candy displays, I didn't trip and go falling down a flight of stairs, and no major disasters befell the stores we visited. Esme and I stocked up on plenty of candy and decorations, and toilet paper, and then headed off to rendezvous with Rosalie and Alice.
We found Rosalie first, several large and colorful shopping bags were at her feet and several more were swinging from her arms. "Hey Rose, I see you've been busy." She smiled. "Where's Alice?"
And sure enough a minute later Alice came sauntering through the mall, shoe boxes stacked precariously in her arms, a small army of men trailing behind her, all trying either not to crumble under the weight of the shoes or spill their loads. "Hi guys! I don't know about you but I did pretty well with the shoes. I couldn't find everything I wanted so I had to settle a little bit. But overall I'd rate this a modest success."
"This is a modest success? I'd hate to see a great success," I mumbled.
We all attempted to pile into the car. Humans and vampires first, then shoes and other purchases. It was a miracle that everything fit; luckily one member of Alice's army was a Tetris fan and was able to pack everything in. We stopped back at the house and dumped everything in what Esme called "Alice's Activity Room" which was complete with mannequins and the fabric dummies that fashion designers use. We gave the decorations to the guys, who were sitting around playing video games in the living room, and told them to decorate while we were gone.
"Behave boys; I don't want to come home to a house in ruins. And Carlisle this goes for you, too," Esme said, glaring at her husband who pretended to be fascinated with the curtains. "We have to go talk to Charlie and get some building tips for when we start making the run-way. He's promised to take us to the hardware store to buy supplies. Have fun, but be good. And please, don't do anything stupid."
And with that we were back out the door and off to my house and then the hardware store. We got a few how-to books, a lot of wood, some basic tools and Rosalie filled up a few notebooks with tips from Charlie. She was quite the mechanic but didn't have much experience with wood. By the time we were driving back to the Cullen's house we were all in a good mood and very satisfied with the progress we were making.
But that all changed as soon as Rosalie got her camera out of her bag.
As soon as we pulled in we heard a strange sound as something other than gravel crunched under the wheels of the car. I stuck my head out the window.
"There are . . . egg shells? Yes, that's what they are. Egg shells are everywhere. The shells and the yolks! All over the yard! Oh my . . . Esme you might not want to look at the house."
But of course once I said that everyone had to look at the house. They all gasped in unison. "My house!" Esme cried. The entire front of the house was coated with runny yellow egg yolk. More egg shells were stuck in the yolk and some were stuck on the roof and the window sills. All of Esme's flowers now had a yellow tint to them.
And strung up on the house like a fisherman's prized catch . . . was Jasper. I'd like to say this was the first time I had found him hanging upside-down in a strange place, but sadly it was not. I still vaguely remembered the time I had stayed with the Cullens when I had my period and Jasper was hanging upside-down from a tree branch outside Edward's room.
This time he was wrapped in toilet paper and hanging from his ankles. Apparently he had either been threatened and forced to stay where he was or hanging there was better than what was going on inside. Of course he was probably using this as an excuse to avoid the blame of the mess in the yard. As we drew closer we saw that his blonde hair was matted with more egg yolk.
"Oh Jasper!" Alice hopped out of the car and rushed to her husband. "What have they done to you? What have they done to the yard?"
Jasper put on his saddest vampire face and tried to look as pitiful as possible, which wasn't hard, considering he was covered in egg. "Omelets anyone," he asked as he hung in the air, gently swaying back and forth.
"No Jasper, you have to cook the eggs to make omelets."
"Oh," Jasper said. "Hair treatments anyone?" We just stared at him. I didn't think that anyone would want to be rolling around in the grass just to make their hair shiny. Not even Alice would go that far.
Rosalie came up, holding her camera. "Hey Alice, let's get a picture of this!" Alice had to jump up onto the porch railing in order to grasp the rope that was tied to Jasper's ankles. She gave a thumbs up like a proud fisherman showing off his latest catch. We laughed and Alice quickly untied Jasper, who seemed to forget his vampire reflexes and crumpled to the floor. He hopped up quickly and turned the toilet paper mummy wrapping in to small shreds.
With Jasper at our side and Rosalie's camera at the ready we slowly opened the door and went inside. The first thing we all noticed was that it was dark. We all opted for Jasper to go in first, just in case they had laid any traps for us. They had. Jasper almost immediately triggered a trip wire. He didn't trip but the lights flickered and mock thunder boomed and lightning crackled. We moved farther inside and bumped into a sticky fake spider web as soon as we tried to go into the dining room. And of course that triggered the giant fake spider to drop down from the ceiling. We decided to check out the living room next. Another trip wire activated the jangling chains and creaking doors. Candles flickered to life, throwing nervous shadows over everything, creating faces that weren't there and creating traps where there were none. Slowly something began to rise off the floor. It had a strange shape and at first I couldn't recognize it. But then two more rose up on either side of the first one. They all came to rest at an angle, almost upright but still slanted so we couldn't get a good look at them. The doors all creaked open at the same time. Our demonic hosts greeted us.
"Good evening," the one in the middle, who must have been their leader, said.
The two on either side of him hissed, the candles still throwing shadows over their bodies.
Esme turned on the lights. Carlisle, Emmett and Edward were all standing in old-fashioned coffins, like the ones you always saw in bad vampire movies. Since they lacked proper costumes they had draped their bed sheets around themselves and allowed their fangs to peek out of their mouths. They smiled at us in an attempt to look evil. Rosalie snapped a few photos before the boys noticed the lights were on and that no one was scared.
Frankly it was hard to be scared when the biggest of the three vampires had a cape with little cowboy hats and lassos on it. Of course it was hardly a surprise that Emmett had cowboy bed sheets. He probably saw them in the little boy's section and demanded that Rose buy them for him. The others at least had more grown-up style bed sheets. Edward's were black and Carlisle's were a deep purple, most likely Esme's preference.
"Just what do you think you're doing," Esme asked, taking on her 'I'm-your-mother-and-I'm-very-disappointed-in-you' voice. She glared at all of them but especially hard at Carlisle. "What did we tell you before we left today?"
Carlisle mumbled something.
"You told us not to do anything stupid."
"And what did you do?"
"We decorated the house for Halloween," Emmett said, gesturing around at all the Halloween decorations that covered the walls and windows.
Rosalie made a noise, "Wrong answer!"
"I'll ask you again," Esme said, "What did you do?"
"We did something stupid," Carlisle admitted.
We gave each of our husbands, or boyfriend in my case, a good long glaring.
"You will clean up this house and then when everything is cleaned and put away in its box where it belongs, you can come upstairs for the first costume fitting," Esme said. And with that we tromped away and headed upstairs to work on the angel costumes.