AN: This one-shot idea came to me as I was reading a fan fiction in which Zack was being a complete idiot (which is why I love him). Sorry for the crappiness of this story, just something I came up with on the spot and didn't have time to properly plan out.

DISCLAIMER: All characters could never belong to one as lowly as I. Especially Seph…..3

Why Seph is a Light Sleeper

Sephiroth fell onto his couch, exhausted from his recent grueling mission in Wutai. He shrugged his coat off in an attempt to be more comfortable. After pulling off his boots, he lay down, eyes drifting shut. In seconds he was asleep, oblivious to the outside world.

Floorboards creaked. A keycard was slipped through a scanner. A door opened and closed back shut after two pairs of boot-clad feet. A muffled snicker seemed to slice the air, but Sephiroth was out cold and missed it. Hands reached out and……

Sephiroth's eyes cracked open. He had been dreaming of blood and death from the War but had been awaken by a strange sound. Had he heard….a giggle? Slowly he sat up trying to focus through his exhaustion, fingers rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Another sound, a footstep. He spun around, his back cracking as he spied the maker of the noises. Scratch that, the makers.

"Zach, Genesis?" his voice was rough from fatigue, "What are you to doing here?"

The black haired man paled visibly, stammering out, "Uh, w-we wanted t-to see how you were d-doing!" The last part came out in a rush and Sephiroth narrowed his eyes, green orbs glittering with suspicion. He turned his attention to the other man, "Gen?"

Genesis looked like he was trying to hold back an explosion of laughter. He shook his head, managing to get out, "He's right, you didn't look so good when you came back so we thought we would check up on you but we found you asleep. We were just leaving."

A look of confusion crossed Sephiroth's face. As a SOLDIER, he had been trained to read emotions and could tell if one was lying or not. Genesis was not lying but neither was he telling the entire truth.

"Well I'm awake now, you two can stay if you like…." Sephiroth offered.

"NO! I m-mean, we have somewhere to be now, right Gen!?" Zack looked terrified and amused at the same time.

Genesis nodded, "Later Seph," he turned and swept out the door with Zack close behind. The door clicked shut but not before Sephiroth heard the two of them burst out with laughter. He shook his head, a hand running through his hair. At least trying too. He felt a mass of knots and tangles as he tried to figure out what had happened to his normally perfectly groomed hair. He jumped to his feet, crossing the apartment in a few quick strides to the bathroom. His eyes widened in pure horror as he gazed into the mirror.

"I'LL KILL YOU!!!!"

Cloud turned his head, stunned at the outburst from the General. At least he thought is was the General, But Sephiroth had never raised his voice before, and so Cloud couldn't be sure.

More yelling, "YOU'RE F****** DEAD WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!!!!"

Cloud could hear running footsteps from down the hallway. He squinted his eyes and did a double take as he saw who was coming toward him. The Commander was up front, sprinting as he let loose a hysterical and maniacal laugh. Behind him was Zack, a 1st Class and Cloud's friend, giggling like a fiend, his face red with exertion.

"I WILL FLAY YOU ALIVE!!!!"

The only reaction this got was another round of laughter from Genesis and Zack to pick up his speed.

"Zack?" Cloud said faintly as the SOLDIER got closer.

"Hi Cloud, Bye Cloud!" The man passed him and dashed around the corner, still tailing the Commander.

Cloud turned his attention back to the opposite way that the two had been running. And promptly fell to the floor laughing. The General was sprinting headlong after Genesis and Zack, his face a contortion of murderous rage. Cloud would have found this horrifying if it wasn't for Sephiroth's hair, a chaos of braids, ribbons, colorful hair clips and anything else that Gen and Zack had been able to lay their mischievous hands on. Cloud could only hope that Zack would be able to find a safe hiding spot before the General could catch him.