I wrote this story a few years ago and just pulled it out of the "attic". I think it takes place at the end of season one beginning of season two but I can't remember. It's well before season four at any rate. I'm not sure why I decided to torture Dean the way I did but I did, maybe because not all monsters are supernatural in nature. If you notice something that should be changed or fixed then feel free to let me know. Or just let me know what you think in general.

I don't own Sam or Dean, unfortunately or else they'd be tied up in separate beds for my enjoyment. Everything else I did create and Sheriff Valenti burrowed from that other show.

The Other Side

Dean stood in the shower, letting the warmish water wash away the grime of the day. He thought he heard the door but didn't really pay it any mind. It was probably Sam with dinner. When Sam didn't identify himself, Dean began to wonder.

'Sammy? That you? What you get?' He called through the door, there wasn't any point to hiding as the shower wasn't exactly quite.

Dean, with shampoo still in his hair, grabbed a towel just as the door slammed open.

'Hi honey! I'm home.' A man who was a good foot taller than Dean and had about a hundred pounds on him stood filling the door.

'Oh shit!' Dean didn't have anywhere to run as the window was tiny and had bars over it.

Dean had accidently stolen the girl from the brute in the doorway and he still hadn't gotten over it.

'You are a hard man to find.' The giant, Andy, Dean suddenly remembered his name. Andy grabbed Dean and tossed him onto the bed like he was nothing. 'You won't need this.' He pulled the towel off of Dean who tried to grab it back. Andy punched Dean in the side of the head causing Dean to fall back to the bed, stars in his eyes.

'No wonder she left with you.' Andy said obviously admiring Dean's still damp nakedness.

'She didn't leave with me, I put her in a cab and sent her home.' Dean said hoping if Andy found out that he hadn't slept with the girl then Andy would leave.

'A handsome fella like you? I find that hard to believe.' Andy said unconvinced of Dean's innocents. 'You know I have never had the thoughts I've had about you about a guy ever. And I don't like it.' Andy informed Dean who didn't like where this was going. 'But when I get these thoughts about woman the best thing to do about it is to just giver!' Dean's eyes went wide and he began trying to get as many things between himself and Andy as he could not wanting the big man anywhere near him.

'Whoa! Don't you think we could talk this out or have dinner first or something?' Dean asked trying to figure out how best to get out of this without having to kill Andy or himself.

Andy grabbed Dean's leg and pulled him to the edge of the bed. 'There ain't no way your talkin your way out of this!' Andy pulled Dean up so they were face to face and he grabbed Dean and began to fondle him.

Suddenly Dean headbutted Andy as he kneed his crotch and as Andy howled in pain blood gushing from his nose Dean scrambled to the door, not really caring about his lack of clothes, just wanting to get away from the giant.

'I don't think so pretty boy!' Andy yelled grabbing Dean by the arm and slamming him into the wall hard enough to both wind Dean and break the plaster. Andy drove a giant fist into Dean's gut driving any remaining air out of him. He dropped to the floor gasping for air.

Andy pulled the cord out of the nearest lamp and used it to tie Dean's hands behind his back. 'You know this is more fun than I thought it would be.' He sneered as he forced Dean onto his stomach on the bed using his own leg to spread Dean's. Dean hadn't yet quite come to his sense as he was still remembering how to breathe. Andy undid his pants and as Dean heard the zipper he renewed his struggle against him. 'Ah, ah, ah. That only makes me want you more.' Andy pulled a long hunting knife from his belt and it was the cold steel that Dean felt against his neck that made him stop. Dean, who had faced vampires and werewolves, strigas and zombies and countless ghosts was terrified of what the man behind him was going to do, he could feel Andy even through the man's jeans.

If he had his hands he could stop him, and where the fuck was Sam? His eyes widened as Andy reached around to play with Dean. He closed his eyes willing the tears not to fall. 'This won't hurt much.' Andy sneered about to thrust himself into Dean. Then with a final serge of strength Dean flung his head back feeling cartilage crunch on contact, sending stars in his own head then he grabbed Andy and twisted. Andy howled letting go of Dean who rolled off the bed and somehow landing on his feet ran for the door. He was stopped in his tracks when he felt something sting his left thigh and he fell to his knees in front of the door. Laughing Andy grabbed a fist full of Dean's short hair and threw him into the couch.

'Way, way more now,' Andy said through the blood than was running from his broken nose. He slid is leg between Dean's spreading them he pulled the knife out and wiped Dean's blood off on his jeans. 'We can't have you running off again,' Andy said as retied Dean's arms not only together but to his body making sure he couldn't use them. Andy pushed Dean down and held his neck his other hand explored Dean who couldn't move, Andy had locked his legs with Dean. Dean was, for the first time since he could remember, helpless. Andy pressed himself against Dean and leaned to Dean's ear, 'I was going to make this quick.' Dean closed his eyes and no matter how much he fought against them like Andy, the tears finally won as he thrust himself into Dean. He didn't know how long Andy lasted but it was like Dean left his body. He was watching this happen to someone else.

Finally after what seemed like hours Andy finished. 'It won't hurt as much next time sweetheart.' Andy laughed pulling Dean up by his short hair and began to touch him again. When Dean didn't respond he tossed Dean aside like a used napkin a little disappointed. Dean stumbled into the bathroom and tripped knocking himself out when he hit his head on the tub.

He hadn't been out for long and when he came to he could hear what sounded like fighting in the other room. Maybe Sam was back. With his hands still tied behind his back he managed to crawl back into the shower, the water still on.

*

When Sam walked into the hotel room he was sharing with Dean he could only stare with something that resembled utter confusion and profound horror because he couldn't even began to guess what had happened. There was blood on his bed and the mattress had been pushed off the other one, the couch was on its back. Of the four lights in the room only one worked and it was on the floor.

'Dean!' Sam rooted through the room half expecting to find Dean dead under something. When he didn't, he noticed that the water was still running. Rushing into the bathroom he was relieved to find Dean sitting in the shower with his head on his knees. Dean groaned but he didn't move. Sam turned off the water which was now cold and cut the cord around Dean's arms. 'Dean?' he lifted Dean's face to his own Dean's eyes fluttered open.

Sam was visibly relieved that Dean was still amongst the living. 'Dean what happened?' he got a cloth and began to dab gently at the cut on Dean's forehead that he'd gotten when he'd taken the header into the bathtub.

Dean winced as Sam touched the wound. 'I don't… I don't know.' He worked at getting circulation going through his arms again, clearly worried about what had happened. 'I don't even remember checking in.'

Sam gave him a small smile. 'That's because you didn't. I did.' He said hoping it gave Dean some comfort to know that one thing. The mess outside didn't match up with Dean's injuries and Sam couldn't hide the concern all that well. Something wasn't right. Sam really didn't know what had happened and Dean couldn't remember what happened. Not that either one wanted to know.

'Get dressed, I'm sure we can figure out what happened.' Sam replied helping Dean stand.

Dean swore rather colorfully and sat on the edge of the bathtub. 'What is it?' Sam asked concerned now edged with something Dean couldn't identify.

'I don't know if I want to know what happened.' He replied. He used the counter to help him stand slowly. His back was stiff and his stomach was sore plus his head would spin if he moved to fast, he had to put all his weight on his right leg. Not to mention it felt like he had gone horseback riding for far too long.

'Jesus Dean,' Sam got a good look at the stab wound Andy had given Dean. Sam patched Dean up as best he could, both brothers aware of Dean's nakedness but neither commenting, Dean seemed to be in a world of his own. 'Come on, let's get you dressed, big brother.'

When Dean didn't rise to Sam's meager bait his concern intensified. 'What the hell happened here?' he wondered. Dean had seen a lot of things in his 28 years and the only time Sam had ever seen him truly terrified was when his brother had gotten on a plane but this was different and it scared the hell out of Sam. As Sam helped Dean out of the bathroom Dean paused at the door reluctant to step out of what seemed to be a sanctuary for him. Dean stopped in the doorway and closed his eyes. 'Dean?' Sam asked when Dean didn't move. He seemed to fighting something and he was, his brain was trying to make him remember what had happened and he didn't like it. He opened his eyes and Sam saw the tears. 'What happened, Dean?' Sam asked, concerned.

Dean didn't reply he shook his head slightly, telling Sam he either still didn't remember or didn't want to tell him. Dean closed his eyes again and tears rolled down his cheeks. He backed away from the door much to Sam's confusion. Whatever had happened to Dean had happened in the main room. Sam watched Dean for a minute, it was the first time Sam took in Dean's appearance since he'd found his brother. Dean was a mess, he was still wet and his beard was longer than normal, he had bruises on his arms and neck along with the stab wound in his leg. 'Dean' he said kneeling in front of Dean who had sat on the closed lid of the toilet. He reached out to touch him and for the first time that either of them could remember, Dean flinched away from Sam's touch. He started to shiver and Sam grabbed a clean blanket from the other room, he wrapped it around Dean, who pulled it tighter. 'I'll get you some cloths.' Sam said, but Dean made no indication that he even heard him. 'Why won't you tell me what happened?' he asked even though he didn't know if Dean was listening.

'It was like I wasn't in my own body.' Dean said suddenly. Sam turned to Dean, expecting to hear more but when he'd turned around it was like Dean hadn't even moved, he was still sitting on the toilet the blanket wrapped tightly around him.

When Sam got back Dean was brushing his teeth, and as Sam walked back in the bathroom with clothes for Dean he looked slightly sheepish. Like a teenager caught with his Dad's dirty magazine. 'You feeling better?' he asked, not bother to hide his concern for his older brother.

'Yeah, I just felt like I had to do something mundane.' He finished up and took his clothes from Sam.

'I got breakfast, whenever you're done.' Sam offered. Dean nodded and offered his younger brother a small smile.

'I'm fine, Sammy, just a little dazed.' He said reassuring his little brother. 'I'll be out in a minute.' When Dean went to join Sam he had stood in the doorway not wanting to leave the bathroom. He had been getting brief flashes of what had happened to him since Sam had cleaned him up. Sam hadn't noticed the pause in the doorway but he noticed that Dean was shaking as they ate.

When they finished they worked at cleaning up the small room, fixing what they could. Finally Sam spoke again. 'You want talk about what happened?' he asked as they sat on one of the beds.

Dean gave him a sad sort of smile, 'I would but honestly I don't really remember much,' it was a lie and Dean hated lying to his brother and Sam knew it was lie but he figured Dean would tell him eventually.

In truth Dean remembered most of it. He remembered Andy showing up and tossing him around like a rag doll, he closed his eyes and shook his head as he remembered why Andy had come in the first place. He didn't remember much after that, he definitely didn't remember hearing the fight between Andy and whatever else had been in this room earlier.

'Did you find out anything?' Dean asked picking up the papers that were scattered around the room. They were notes for the latest gig, a series of haunting in rural Michigan.

'About what?' Sam asked, as soon as he'd walked in the door all thought of the case had deserted him.

Dean held up the file, 'The case genius, why we're in this lovely, lovely town.' The sarcasm and bitterness was not lost on Sam. Dean's attitude toward the town had changed drastically when they'd arrived Dean had thought it had been a nice town, but now he seemed to hate it.

'Oh, yeah all the electrical shortages were caused by old wiring.' He replied, 'so the string of haunting's is not anything but faulty construction.' He gave Dean a halfhearted smile.

Sam watched his brother baffled he had never seen him like this. Dean looked like he wanted to punch Sam in the head repeatedly as well as curl up under a blanket and sob. 'Great, pack up. The sooner we can leave the better.' Dean headed into the bathroom to get his stuff but he resumed his position on the closed toilet seat. He hated himself at that moment more than he ever had before. This wasn't their thing, he hated Ellen at that moment. She'd been the one who suggested it and it turned out to be nothing. They had driven all this way for nothing. He decided that he wasn't listening to Ellen again. He threw the half empty bottle of shampoo at the mirror shattering it.

'Dean?' Sam asked gently pushing open the door. 'You okay?'

'No, Sam I'm not okay! Some guy busts into the motel room while I'm in the shower and attacks me for no reason. I can deal with a lot of things. A lot! But I can't understand that with all the evil in the world people still insist on inflicting it on each other.' Dean finally looked up to Sam and Sam was surprised to see tears in his brother's eyes. 'I don't understand.'

'Dean.' Sam reached out to touch his brother.

'No Sam!' he pulled away from his brother practically yelling, 'Don't,' he shoved Sam away, 'Just don't!' he calmed down slightly but as he left he slammed the door.

Sam ran out after his brother but before he could do or say anything Dean grabbed his head in both hands and fell to his knees. 'Dean!' Sam shouted as he dropped down beside his brother. 'What is it?' he asked trying to get his brother to look at him.

'He's got her and he…' he finally looked up at Sam, 'he's got her and he's going to kill her.' Dean looked petrified, and that scared the shit out of Sam.

'Who? Who has who?' He asked as the two of them got to their feet.

'Andy, the guy from last night has Kat, the girl.' Dean replied as he limped as fast as he could to the motel clerk.

'Where's the nearest factory?' he asked as he almost pulled the screened door off its hinges.

The young clerk looked up more confused than anything, 'About 2 miles that way,' he pointed west. 'But it's been closed for about 6 months.'

'Shit.' Dean swore before he thanked the clerk then ran as fast as his injured leg would take him to the Impala.

'Dean, where are we going?' Sam asked he had no problems keeping up with his brother as both his legs were slightly longer and less injured.

'To that factory, because if we don't Kat is going to die, if she's not dead already.' Dean replied as he got into the Impala. The engine growled to life as Sam got in, ten seconds later they roared out of the parking lot and sped down the highway to the factory.

Kat woke up dazed and confused. Her hands were tied above her head and she seemed to be hanging in the middle of a large room. She wanted to call out but just then Andy lumbered in. 'Your awake.' He sneered. 'You're boyfriend isn't going to save you this time.' He came up behind her and slid his hand down her skirt. She squirmed trying to get away from him but he was bigger and stronger then her and it really didn't do much except get him more excited.

'You're a sick fuck!' she spat at him as he made her face him. He punched her then grabbed her throat, crushing it. He let go before she passed out, she couldn't find her voice.

'Why thank you, that is the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.' He faked sincerity. 'This is gonna be more fun now that you're awake.' He grinned then hoisted her legs around his waist. She struggled against him but he only laughed as forced himself into her. When he finished he hit her splitting her lip.

'Why are you doing this?' she asked, eyeing him not wanting him out of her sight.

He thought for a moment, cupped her breast squeezing it, he was behind her now and again he forced himself into her, moaning with pleasure, she squeezed her eyes shut fighting back the tears but they came anyway as he replied, 'Because I can.'

Sam and Dean had quietly entered the factory, not that it mattered it was huge and empty. They had no idea where Andy had Kat, well at least Sam had no idea. 'Call if you find anything,' Dean said heading left.

Sam went to protest splitting up but Dean had already vanished into the darkness. 'Damn it.' he cursed but didn't go after Dean, he headed right, alert to anything that moved.

About 10 minutes later Dean stopped and inhaled sharply, he'd come upon a room that very much resembled one he'd been in just a few short months ago. There was a young woman tied to a poll hooked to an IV that has long since dried out, she seemed to be asleep. He slowly moved to her and suddenly he was hit by the smell. She was obviously dead, and had been for quite some time, the smell had seeped into the sheets and still lingered.

Dean moved further into the room, the sounds of sloppy sex drifting over to him. Curious he went to investigate. He found Kat, her hands were tied above her head she was hanging from an old forklift that had rusted. Andy was behind her still, enjoying himself too much. Dean was at once terrified not just for himself but for Kat as well, and enraged. He was standing in front of them and if either one looked they'd see him. That's when Kat opened her eyes. She almost cried out but he silenced her with a finger to his lips. She nodded and tears stung his eyes. She let a painful groan and Dean flew into action. He tackled Andy, all thought of any weapon he had forgotten. The pair rolled on the ground and when Andy realized who had attacked him he laughed.

'Back for more sweet cheeks.' He said, grabbing Dean's ass, still laughing.

Dean punched Andy in the side of the head, and then drove Andy's dagger into Andy's hand. 'Keep your hands to yourself, asshole.' He growled. Kat almost cheered.

'What the fuck?' Andy tried shoving Dean off but Dean who was sitting on Andy's stomach continued to wail on Andy, each punch landing with a sickening thud.

'Dean stop!' Kat finally yelled. It sent her into a coughing fit. The yelling had hurt more than it should have. Dean stopped suddenly and stared at Andy's mangled face. He backed away from Andy horrified at the mess. Andy lay still and Dean, who had backed into Kat's legs slowly got up.

'Are you okay?' he asked pulling her hands down to untie them.

'No,' she replied honestly, 'but I think I will be. Thanks to you.' she gave him a grateful hug and as Dean wrapped his arms around her, her knees gave out and she started to sob. He picked her up and carried her out.

'Dean!' Sam shouted suddenly. Dean spun around and dropped to the ground with Kat who screamed. Andy was behind them and he lunged at the pair as shots rang out in the empty factory. Dean still holding Kat looked up Andy was now lying on in a puddle of his own blood, really dead.

Dean looked to the shooter expecting it to be Sam, who was running to them, gun still in hand. It hadn't been Sam, Valenti was standing where Sam had been.

'Dean…' Kat said, her voice still hoarse from the damage Andy had done. He looked down at her then to the growing red spot on her abdomen. Andy had managed to get her with the dagger that Dean had shoved in his hand.

'No, no, no, no.' Dean said in disbelief putting her down trying to cover the wound and stop the bleeding. Kat's eyes fluttered, 'Stay with me Kat, keep those beautiful eyes focused on me.' They opened slowly.

'You really think so?' she asked giving him a hopeful smile.

'I know so,' he replied, unable to stop the tears. Behind them Valenti called for backup and Sam tried to find something to help Kat with.

'I think I'm falling in love with you Dean Winchester.' She whispered her hand snaking around his neck. He kissed her gently, and her hand fell away.

'Kat?' he looked down at her confused, 'Kat, open your eyes.' He commanded as a hand fell to his shoulder he shook it off.

'Dean we gotta go.' Sam said trying to pull Dean up away from Kat.

'No!' He shoved Sam back.

'Son, you really should go, you shouldn't be here when the cavalry gets here.' Sheriff Valenti said gently.

'You are not my father!' Dean suddenly shouted at the stunned sheriff.

'Dean?' Sam looked incredibly confused.

'I know I'm not, but that doesn't mean I can't worry about you.' Sheriff Valenti replied calmly.

'You don't even know me.' Dean shot back, taking his anger out on the sheriff, who was well aware of it.

'I don't,' he admitted, 'But I've been following your work across the states and I followed your fathers work. This world needs people like you to defend it from the monsters they won't believe in. You can't do anything about it in jail.' It was a convincing argument.

Dean's anger seemed to lessen and turned to sadness, 'what about people like him?' he vaguely pointed in Andy's direction.

'That's what I'm here for, that's my job. And speaking from experience it doesn't always turn out the way it should. People die every day for all the wrong reasons and this is one of them. Guys like you and me we do what we can whenever we can but sometimes it just isn't enough.' His ears perked up, he could hear sirens in the distance, 'Now you boys better be leaving before they get here.' Sam pulled Dean out of the factory, he didn't want to be there but he didn't want to leave.

When Sam asked Dean for the keys he freely handed them over, then got in the passenger side slamming the door hard enough to rock the Impala. Sam stared at him unsure of what to do or say. So he didn't do or say anything. He started the Impala and was gone before the rest of the police department got there.

'Fuck!' Dean swore suddenly slamming his fist hard into the dashboard. He leaned back his arms across his face, he kicked the dashboard. He dug the heel of his palms into his eyes.

'Dean?' Sam asked pulling over.

Dean finally looked at Sam, his eyes were red and wet. 'Just drive.' Sam drove back to the motel. They stayed one more night, it was already paid for. That night Dean wouldn't talk to Sam or eat which bothered Sam more than the not talking to him did.

'Dean, what happened to Kat sucks. Valenti was right, shit happens, you should know that by now.' Sam said trying to get Dean to say something.

'It's my fault she's dead. I turned and…' Dean started, he'd been wallowing hard core since they'd left the factory.

'Shut up Dean.' Sam interjected. 'If you want to blame someone blame me, I'm the one that made you turn around. Or Blame Sheriff Valenti he followed us here demanding to know why we were here. If he hadn't shown up I could've found you sooner. Blame Kat she's the one that stopped you from beating Andy to death. Blame Andy's mother for carrying him to term. Hell blame Andy's father for fucking his mother. Dean no one is at fault. Like the book says it was a series of unfortunate events.'

'Thanks, I feel a hell of a lot better.' Dean replied unimpressed.

'Dean I know how you feel.' Sam tried again, a new tactic.

'Why because you had to kill Madison? Because you watched Jessica burn? No Sam you don't.' he said bluntly. 'I had her in my arms,' the tears that he had banished in the car reappeared, 'we were so close to the door.' He started to hyperventilate. He tried to say more but his voice was trapped in his throat. He was struggling to keep control and as Sam watch, the weak hold that his brother had on his emotions withered and died. He squeezed is eyes shut and once again dug the heel of his good hand into his eye. He bowed his head and surrendered, unable or unwilling to stop the tears, Sam never knew which it had been. There are a lot of things that Dean has never told Sam, most of those things about woman he's slept with or wanted to. What Dean never told him on this particular occasion was that the utter sorrow that had caused Dean to lose what little control over his emotions he had was only partially caused by loosing Kat. Everything that had happened in the last two years had come crashing down and now he was finally feeling them. Loosing John, Ash, the psychics, Jessica, Madison, Sam, all the others that had lost people even if they had helped. Andrea had lost her father, all the kids in Medford with no parents, the entire town of Rivergrove. Sam had never seen Dean like this, he was at a loss for what to do, so he pulled Dean into an awkward hug. Dean had the weight of world on his shoulders and he never complained about, it had finally broken him.

Eventually Dean fell asleep; the emotional breakdown had drained him of all energy.

'Look Dean about last night…' he started when Dean woke the next morning, he wanted to apologize to Dean.

'Yeah, me too.' Dean caught him off.

'But Dean,' Sam protested.

'What did I tell you in Jericho?' he asked seriously.

Sam looked confused as Dean watched him expectantly, finally it dawned on him. 'No chick flick moments.' He repeated exasperated.

'Thank you.' Dean nodded.

'Jerk.' Sam was glad that Dean seemed to be back to his old self.

'Bitch.' Dean shot back as he packed his cloths. Then he looked around the room. 'Where's my coffee woman?' Sam just pointed to the small table that didn't have any of Dean's clothes on it. 'I knew I kept you around for a reason.' He savoured the first mouthful, than looked at Sam, with a contented smile. 'This is by far the worst. Coffee. Ever.' That small detail didn't stop Dean from drinking it though.

They checked out, which was basically dropping their key in a drop off box by the door. As they headed for the Impala Dean played with his keys, as they got to the Impala he made his decision. 'Hey Sam, why don't you drive for a while?' He tossed to keys to Sam who stared at the keys like he'd never seen them before. His brother had never actually voluntarily given Sam the keys before, it had always been out of necessity or because Sam had demanded to.

'Who are you and what have you done with my brother?' Sam asked.

'Shut up and get in the car before I change my mind.' Dean said tossing his bag in the trunk he'd opened before giving the keys to Sam.

After a few minutes of silence Sam decided to ask one more time, 'What did he do to you?' They both knew exactly what Sam was referring to.

Dean gave him an ironic sort of smile before answering. 'Look… You're my brother and I'd die for you, but there are something's I need to keep to myself.'

Sam gave Dean a half smile, he sort of understood, he'd said that exact same thing to Dean over a year ago. He wasn't offended, just a little frustrated, which he guessed Dean had been at the time.

Dean watched the people as they headed out of town, one caught his eye. She was standing on the corner wearing a flowing white gown. Her hair was a vivid red, and she was absolutely gorgeous. Kat gave Dean a warm smile and as someone walked in front of her she disappeared. Dean sat back and watched as the world sped by.

Author's note: Any resemblance to the last scene in 'Bloody Mary' is in fact coincidental. The song playing over that should actually be 'Laugh I Nearly Died'. I really wanted Dean to say that line. As for 'Knocking' that song just happened to come on as I was typing that scene, where Kat dies, but upon further examination of the Kat character and a revelation the song should actually finally be 'Stairway to Heaven.'