by Gunman

Disclaimer: I do not own Eva or its characters

Summary: Shinji and the others prepare for a Naked Synch Test, even as Gendo tries to make a get-away and Asuka tries to find out why she got screwed over.

To reiterate the who's who: Melchior is the part of Naoko Akagi as a scientist, Balthasar is the part of Naoko as a mother, and Caspar is the part of Naoko as a woman.

Idea from Marq Fyori-Josdyas Auricor


Chapter 5
Naked Synch Test

(SEELE Virtual Meeting Room)

"What do you mean he's gone?" SEELE 7 asked.

"Just that, sir. He's gone." the subordinate said.

"How The Hell Could You Let That Bastard Escape?" SEELE 6 asked.

"He was supposed to be under lock and key! At The UN Headquarters!" SEELE 4 said.

"We don't give The Commander of NERV enough credit." SEELE 2 said.

"Even a resourceful and well-connected man couldn't have gotten out of UN security on his own. Not without some measure of notice. And I mean 'violent' notice." SEELE 5 said.

"He will be found. There is only one place he could possibly be going." Keel Lorenz said.

"Back to NERV Headquarters in Tokyo-3." SEELE 3 said.

"We will have to have our people stationed to intercept him." SEELE 8 said.

"Should they be capture orders... or termination orders?" SEELE 7 asked.

The group was silent for several minutes, until Keel Lorenz spoke.

"Which ever is easiest."

(Inside The Magi)

"That bastard is more resourceful than I expected." Melchior stated.

"But you can find him, can't you?" Caspar asked.

"Of course I can find him. Thanks to the wonder of satellite video surveillance, not to mention all the security and traffic cameras, and with the right tip off..." the scientist said.

Just then, Balthasar stormed into their 'room'.


"Huh?" Caspar asked.

"What?" Melchior asked.

"I'm Talking To You Caspar!" Balthasar shouted.

"What did I do now?" Caspar asked.

"THIS!" she shouted, throwing the digital document down before the pair. "I was reviewing several of the new protocols that NERV has established for the sake of the children's continued piloting of the Evangelions... And I Found This Amongst The Reports!"

The pair looked at it. Caspar actually grinned at seeing it, while Melchior sweat-dropped.

"Uh... Balthasar..." Melchior said.

"Don't defend her, Melchior!" the mother said. "This just reeks of something that you'd do!" she said, pointing at the document. "And all to get Shinji naked!"

"Well, yes, it does seem like something I would suggest..."

"So You Admit It!"

"Actually, I don't."


"I. Didn't. Do. This." Caspar said slowly. "Believe me, I'd like to take credit for this, 'Naked Synch Test', but I had nothing to do with it."

"And I should believe you... why?"

"Because... if I had anything to do with this... I Wouldn't Be Denying It!"

Balthasar looked at Melchior, who could only nod in affirmation.

"I see. I apologize for my outburst and accusation." Balthasar said with humility.

Caspar just smiled. "Hey, I would have accused me too. Heck, this is just the kind of thing I would suggest, but..."

"If you didn't suggest this..." Melchior stated.

"Then who did?" Balthasar asked.


"Tell me again why we're doing a 'Nude Synch Test' with all three of the kids?" Misato asked.

"Because I want to get the most accurate reading possible from the children to their Eva's. That means no trace of foreign contamination..." Ritsuko started.

"Which is why you wanted them to take a VERY extensive series of showers." Misato nodded.

"And why they will have to forego their plugsuits for the duration of the test." she finished.

"And tell me why I needed to sign off on this, even after you got The Commander's approval?" Misato asked.

"Because, in addition to being the Director of Operations for the Eva Pilots, as well as the guardian of two of the children, it is essential that you sign off on this little project as well." the faux-blond said.

"You do know that Asuka was moved into another apartment, away from me and Shinji-kun, right?"

Ritsuko blinked. She hadn't heard that.

"When did this happen?" Ritsuko asked.

"The day after the 10th Angel attack."

"Oh. I... didn't know that."

"Yeah. My request for a new apartment actually came through. Though... I didn't expect to get a penthouse out of the deal."

"Penthouse?" the scientist gasped.

"Yeah. Really, really nice place."

"Wait, when did you ask for a new apartment?"

"It was..." Misato said, then paused and blushed as she realized something.


"Uh... nothing."

"Misato!" Ritsuko declared in a stern voice.

"Well... it was... kinda... before... Shinji moved in." Misato explained.

All at once Ritsuko understood exactly where Misato's thought processes were going.

"I don't believe... well, actually I do, but... MISATO!" Ritsuko snapped.

"What?" Misato asked, like she was trying to act ignorant.

"You Tried To Get A New Apartment Because You Were Too Lazy To Clean Up The One You Were Already Living In?"

"Well, with everyone moving away from Tokyo-3, it seemed..."

"Like a good idea instead of cleaning up that landfill you called a home, you requisitioned to move into another one? You wouldn't have cleaned it up yourself... or hired a cleaning service... or asked for help?" she stared at the woman incredulously. "And then... when Shinji moved in... and cleaned everything up... you just accepted that you could live in your apartment. MISATO!"

"Hehehehehehe." Misato grinned sheepishly.

"Ugh! If it were in my power, I'd move Shinji out into his own apartment. FAR AWAY FROM YOU!"

"Now, Ritz, don't start freaking out over such a small issue."

"Small Issue?" the faux-blond scientist gasped in complete astoundment. "Misato... before Shinji actually came to stay with you... no one could even find the floor of your apartment! In any room of your apartment. Even at the front door!"

"It wasn't that..."

"Yes! It! Was!" Ritsuko stated.

"Oh, look! Naked Teenagers!" Misato quickly said, distracting the faux-blond from concentrating on her apartment problems.

(NERV showers)

Asuka Langley Sohryu stared at the wall of the shower, letting loose another angry sigh as the urge to punch the wall rose up within her.

I can't believe this! Asuka fumed. I'm A Designated Pilot Of NERV! My Value Is Of The Utmost Importance To This Entire Organization! I Pilot An Evangelion In Order To Protect The Asses Of Everyone In This City! On This Planet! And They Have The Nerve To Stick Me In That Craphole Of An Apartment? And Next To The First?

Of course, that also got Asuka to thinking about something.

But why was the First living in that apartment in the first place? I mean... she's a pilot too. And she is the Commander's favorite. So why is she living in a place where even roaches wouldn't stay?

While Asuka had never bothered to question exactly why certain things happened in the world, unless they happened to her, this entire situation had actually got her to thinking. Over and over she couldn't understand exactly why.

But these questions pushed themselves out of the mind of the Second Child, as the reality of her current situation reared its ugly head.

(How are you kids doing?) Dr Akagi's voice chimed over the speakers.

I can't believe we're doing a naked synch test! This is absolutely ridiculous! And With Shinji And The First Of All People! Asuka thought, knowing fully well that her current apartment-mate and former roommate were here as well.

"I Swear, Third Child, If You Look At Me While I'm Naked, I'm Gonna Kill You!" Asuka shouted at the boy.

(Calm it down, Asuka!) Misato's voice shouted over the speakers.

"Easy for you to say! You're not the one who has to walk to your Eva's entry plug bare-ass naked!" the redhead shouted.

(Just think of yourself as a Super Model, strutting your stuff down the runway at Milan!)

"You Perverted Libertine!" she shouted at her ex-guardian.

(Are you ready?) Dr Akagi asked in an exasperated tone.

"Yeah. Just how you want me! Butt-Naked and run through the wash 15 times!" Asuka hissed.

(Good. Now, make your way down the special corridor to the awaiting entry plugs. Don't worry we've got all the video cameras turned off and the entire access route has been specially cordoned off so that no one, other than you, will be there. All the way to the test entry plugs.)

"Fine. But Shinji Goes First!" Asuka shouted.


However, unbeknownst to anyone, including the Magi, a small virtually undetected Angelic presence was slowly making its way towards the Fortress City with only one intention.

Actually, considering that it was a hive-like minded personality, it had only one goal, but there were numerous thoughts that permeated its unusual mind.

Angels don't think like human beings. And this newest Angel was no exception. It possessed a very unique style, much like its 'siblings', as well as a method of attack that was also unique.

And it would be an attack at the very heart of the organization that held its progenitor prisoner.

(12 Miles from the New UN Headquarters)

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I AM DENIED?" Gendo shouted at the bank machine. "NO ONE DENIES GENDO IKARI!"

After getting out of the UN holding area, by subduing the guard who thought that Gendo was sick, The Commander was now trying to collect as much money as possible in order to get back to Tokyo-3 and reestablish his scenario before anymore attention came to light on this issue.

However, his natural calm and cool demeanor was shattered by the very simple denial of his own bank funds.

And naturally, this outburst was enough of a distraction to allow several armed officers in uniform to show up, surround and draw their weapons upon the commander.

The second the hammers on the guns clicked, Gendo gulped.

Several of the uniformed officers approached him, but not with handcuffs. With night sticks.

"Sir, would you kindly step away from the bank machine, put your hands behind your head and get down on the ground, belly first." the first cop said.

"Do you have any idea who I am?" Gendo asked.

"Actually we do." the second cop said.

"You're that filthy degenerate pervert who likes sticking it up the ass of young boys." the third cop said.

Gendo paled, realizing where this was going.

"That wasn't me!" Gendo said, despite that he knew they wouldn't believe him.

"Really? Because the video images we have of you screwing that boy, were very clear. In fact, they were clear enough to be used for your wanted posters." the second cop said.

I have wanted posters? Gendo gasped.

"You are Commander Gendo Ikari. Wanted for the rape of some boy who, for some reason, doesn't exist." the third cop said.

"And you being part of a secret organization with enough resources to erase someone." the first cop said.

"It's kinda easy to conclude that you screwed him..." the second cop said.

"Erased his identity..." the third cop said.

"And sought to hide behind your secret authority." the first cop said.

"And just so you know..." the second cop said.

"Most of us... are family men. Parents." the third cop said.

"And a lot of us have sons." the first cop said.

And that's when the beatings started.


Authors Notes:

It has been a very long time since I have updated this story, and I am sorry, but because of that, I think that this latest update turned out better than expected. I am still in the process of writing up a workable finish to this entire story, which is thanks to some of my reviewers and associates, but it is still in summery form.

And I didn't want to kill Gendo just yet, mostly because I'm not done screwing with him.

That said, I hope everyone enjoys this story and will give me more ideas for any future chapters.


OMAKE by Shinjithegoodsharer

Keele: "Ikari! How dare you?"
Gendo: (confused) "What?"
SEELE-02: "You used the MAGI to commandeer all our funds to an account labeled under the Ikari name!"
Gendo: "I did not!"
Shinji: (walks in) "Father? What's with all the new Zero's added to my paycheck this month?"
Gendo: (sweating nervously and slowly turning back to the fuming SEELE committee) "..."

/ on the bridge /
Maya: "Sempai? Why are the MAGI printing out line after line of evil laughter?"
Ritsuko: "I dunno, but I have a feeling I should be drunk and well fucked when I find out or the stress will kill me. Let's go find Misato and head to a bar."



(Gendo's Hearing)

"Commander Gendo Ikari. You have been charged with the rape of a teenage boy, within the confines of your top-secret organization, called NERV." the judge said.

"I would like to state that I did not have any form of relations with any boy, regardless of what you say on the matter." Gendo declared.

"Considering that we have documented, recorded evidence that says otherwise?" the prosecutor asked. "Furthermore, we have located the boy in question."

"WHAT?" Gendo gasped.

Just then, the doors opened and in walked two armed guards, and one Kensuke Aida.

"You!" Gendo gasped, recognizing the military otaku who went to school with his son, and had made numerous requests to become an Eva pilot.

"Ah, so you know this boy." the prosecutor said. "Your honor, this is Mr Kensuke Aida, of Tokyo-3 Municipal Junior High, who, if I am not mistaken, has made numerous requests to become an Evangelion pilot for the NERV organization. Both of which are controlled by Commander Gendo Ikari."

All at once, Kensuke started freaking out. While the premise of this trial was to convict Gendo on charges of pedophilia, in order to do that meant that Kensuke had to confess to being Gendo's sex toy. This would have painted a very bad picture of the boy, which was already not too good since it was public knowledge that he really, really, REALLY, wanted to be an Eva pilot.

"However, due to the video release of Mr Aida's ass-raping, it is..."

"Objection!" the defense attorney stated. "We would ask that the term 'ass-raping' be removed from the record!"

"Would you prefer 'anal enjoyment'?" the prosecutor asked.

"That Wasn't Me!" Gendo shouted.

"I don't want to be here!" Kensuke shouted.

"As you can see, Mr Aida is so traumatized at being coerced into being Commander Ikari's boy toy.." the prosecutor started to say, only to get interrupted mid-sentence.

"Boy Toy?" Kensuke gasped.

"I would never rape this boy!" Gendo shouted.

"And yet we have video evidence that you did this." the prosecutor said.

"I prefer girls!" Gendo said.

"Really?" the judge said with a malicious grin. "Young girls?"

"Uh..." Gendo said now sweating at what he had just said.