Chapter 1

A/N: Don't hate me but I have wrote the scenario so Phoebe would die instead of Prue at the end of season 3. Nope I'm not evil. I just needed another perspective.

'I'm falling apart

I'm barely breathing

With a broken heart

That's still beating

In the pain

There is healing

In your name

I find meaning

So I'm holding on

I'm holding on

I'm barely holding on to you '~ Broken - Lifehouse


A deal with the Source? How the fuck did he not expect for something to happen? But this? He let out a yell that came from his soul. He even felt Belthazor howling too inside his mind. He pushed through and before he knew it he'd changed.

"Cole, "a cold voice reached him. He inclined his head towards the speaker, a teary and weary looking Prue.

"We need Cole not Belthazor." Cole growled from the pits of his stomach towards her.

"Do you understand me? We want the man who loved her, not some demon."

Cole looked down at his hands devil-like hands. His instinct was to try and rip the throat of Shax with his hands and teeth. He needed to he couldn't take it. It felt as though someone had ripped out his insides slowly and painfully whilst he was still alive. No, not even that compared to what he felt. No pain of the flesh, battle-inflicted or otherwise had ever hurt him so much. He curled his hands into fists. No, he mustn't kill, he wouldn't. He'd promised her. He'd promised Phoebe that he wouldn't become the Belthazor of old. Dammit. If only he hadn't listened to her then she'd still be alive. But then Prue would be dead. He looked at the oldest witch and drank in her appearance. A fair bargain? Perhaps. Anything to end this.

'You're weak, Beltazor. I'm stronger than you and I'm human,' whispered Cole. 'I won't let you mourn her. She was my love. I won't let you break my promise to her.'

And with that, Belthazor transformed back into Cole who now was staring at Phoebe. Good God she was beautiful! Her skin shone by the moonlight, her eyes was closed. She was smiling, like when she did when he'd look at her lovingly. But then her eyes used to shine too... Cole groaned and strode to where she lay. His angel she'd died to protect him from himself. No, he would not give in. He would not become a monster again. He touched her face, her lips, her eyes.

'God, Phoebe, what have you done?'

"Cole." He didn't turn to Piper. He couldn't. They didn't deserve this any more than he did but he knew he wouldn't be able to take their pain either - his own was enough. Oh God, why does it hurt so much though? Why does being human have to be at such a price? He cupped Phoebe's still face in his hand. It was soft under his touch, like silk; it evoked memories that brought more than a feeling of loss. He bent down and kissed her gently on the lips wanting to close that distance a little. Her wound hadn't been healed by Leo. He could smell her blood.

"Cole, look at me," whipped Prue's commanding voice.

He turned automatically around knowing neither of them would keep their peace if he didn't. He looked at both sisters. My God. They looked so much like Phoebe, even when their pale faces and red eyes. He could see his Phoebe in them. Cole looked away and clenched his fists. No one is Phoebe, no one could be her...

"You will not do anything. You got that?" said Piper this time, through gritted teeth. Wishing it seemed that he'd respond.

"Cole you son of a bitch, look at me!" Piper screamed unexpectedly running and grabbing his jacket. "Look at me. Say something. Anything. Cry. Yell. She's gone goddamit. Gone." He looked at the small witch who was shaking him furiously. Her tears spilled over onto his jacket and onto his shirt.

"Let go, Cole," she sobbed. "Tell her you loved her." Cole looked into Piper's face and for the first time since Phoebe's death, he felt a loosening in his chest. His heart opened up and let out all the pain, anger and love. His eyes welled up immediately. Yes, it fucking hurt, but he couldn't let go. He had to tell her. Cole turned away from Piper towards Phoebe. He lifted her and cradled her in his arms and cried. He sobbed as he looked down at her face but then began to scream as he held her to his heart

"Phoebe, Phoebe, come back to me, please come back." Tears ran down his face, he hardly felt them tickling him. The pain inside of him was consuming everything.

Oh God, they've taken everything! ," he started to shriek in agony, taking long shuddering breaths that hurt his lungs that brought more stubborn tears to his eyes. "I can't bear it! I can't bear the pain. God, Phoebe don't go somewhere I can't follow you... I love you... tell them how much I love you just come back... please Phoebe, my Phoebe..."

Piper, Prue and Leo watched as he screamed in anguish. No one stopped him, yet no one comforted him. What could they say? That she'd gone to a better place? Where her mother and grams was? He wouldn't understand, yet they didn't expect him too. Cole had lost love and they a sister. They sobbed harder when they watched him and remembered that wherever Phoebe had gone, her heaven and happiness was right here tearing himself apart, in front of their eyes.


No one said a word. No one needed too; it felt like a mutual agreement between them. Cole wasn't sure how long it had been since they'd battled Shax. An hour? Two? His head light and he paused to look around. Prue was silent for once, no bright ideas and Piper... well, she was still hurting that was plain to read. But she was always the most sensitive of the sisters. Not afraid to cry when it hurt. Cole set his jaw his mind suddenly pressing the fast forward button. He stood up suddenly. Why had he been sitting here for so long? Why was he out there tearing Shax apart or finding out what the Source wanted now with the Charmed ones? Of course though, convincing Tempus was his first concern. The two sisters stood up too.

"Where are you going Cole?" asked Prue almost patronisingly.

"To save Phoebe."

"You can't save Phoebe."

"Why not?" he raged. Why were they so goddamn hell-bent in standing in his way?

"Because she's dead, Cole," spoke Piper quietly. "No amount of demonic power can bring her back from the dead."

Cole looked at Piper, feeling a hollow pit in his stomach as he watched her dry her eyes.

"So you're gonna give up?"

"We didn't say that."

"Yes, you did you just gonna leave her –"

"No," said Prue firmly. "You're not gonna do anything."

"I can't sit here and wait for you. Don't you understand ... I just can't."

"Well you'll have to. We're not having you die too – "

"I will not take orders from a witch! You have nothing over me –"

"STOP IT! For god's sakes just stop! Both of you!" shrieked Piper waving hands. "She's been gone for like two minutes and all you can do is tear at each other's throats..."

Both Cole and Prue looked at her. Piper was right. He let go of the fight. Maybe, this was the wrong way in convincing them he could help, they might not be the Charmed Ones anymore but they were still pretty powerful witches. In particular Prue. He looked at the eldest witch. They had to get her back somehow. They just had to.

"Piper's right," her husband offered, walking closer. "This is not the time to be fighting. We need to find a way to reverse Phoebe's death." Cole inhaled sharply, it felt like someone had twisted his insides, hearing Phoebe's name been thrown in so casually. Leo looked around at them closely,

"The Power of Three has to be restored, whatever the consequences." Cole watched him closely as Leo's face changed with his last utterance. He knew is what he was thinking but the sisters didn't. Luckily, Prue picked up on it too,

"But?"

Leo turned.

"Everything happens, for a reason Prue. Everything, even this. Us changing Phoebe's death may not be actually be a good idea..."

"My baby sister is dead Leo!" exploded Prue just as Cole snarled. "Don't talk to me about fate and destiny and meant to be's..." she stopped abruptly as tremor ran through the Manor causing everyone to lose their balance.

"Don't tell me that was meant to be either," growled Piper, picking herself up off the floor, a few moments later.