pen-pal project: The two famous academies, Oblivion and Oathkeeper, are doing a pen-pal project with each other. Is it really as innocent as it seems?

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OATHKEEPER ACADEMY

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Dear Whoever Gets This Letter,

Okay, according to the paper, I'm supposed to tell you my name, age, favorite color, what I like and dislike, favorite singer or band, hobbies, my goals, and my dreams, along with some other things I don't feel like writing. Huh. Isn't the paper informative? Haha, just kidding.

My name is Xion Maki (English way, yo!), and I'm fourteen, almost fifteen. I don't really have a favorite color.

Yes you do! It's purple, isn't it?!

WHAT THE HELL, KAIRI?!

LOL! I'm right, aren't I? :)

STOP WRITING ON MY PAPER. NOW. OR I WILL MESS YOUR FACE UP SO BAD, SORA WON'T EVER BELIEVE THAT PHRASE "EYES OF THE BEHOLDER" OR "BEAUTIFUL ON THE INSIDE" CRAP.

Oh, you bitch! You win this round!

I win every round, Kairi.

Yeah, that was my friend Kairi. She's annoying as hell and dresses like a slut, but everyone loves her anyway. She likes this guy named Sora. He likes her back, too, but they're too shy to admit their feelings, haha. What dorks. They're perfect for each other.

My other friend is Namine. She's Kairi's twin sister. They're so different, it's like... Whoa.

Back to the list.

I like pocky, my laptop, my green glasses (THEY LOOK SO HOT ON ME, EVERYONE WANTS TO TAP THIS), the song Hey There Delilah, blonds, boy-on-boy action, lip rings, hot guys, scene hair, pretty boys, guys in leather, guys named Aiden or Carson, tattoos, chocolate, dyed hair, checkered patterns, Converse, Vans, and shoe-shopping.

I dislike strawberry ice-cream, dark chocolate, Hannah Montana, guys named George or Rudolf/Rudolph, naval piercings, metal (as in the music genre), rap, sluts, people who steal someone else's boyfriends, man-eaters, most of the lady-killers, and the fact that Zack Fair and Cloud Strife (you know, the popular male models around these parts?) are only friends (NOT FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS, JUST FRIENDS) when I want them to be lovers and have hot, steamy bunny-sex.

... I can only hope none of the teachers ever read this.

Um, my favorite band is All Time Low. :D Three-quarters of the band are hot, haha.

Hobbies, hobbies... Well, I like drawing, singing, and writing. I also like insulting people I don't like. And I have a habit of stalking (blond) hotties.

My goals and dreams are the same. I want three things: A harem, a chocolate factory, and to rule the world. No, wait, make that four—I want Zack and Cloud to get it on, too.

Well... It seems that's the end of my list.

I hope you aren't a weirdo, haha.

Time Square can't shine as bright as you,
Xion Maki

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sent

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Dear Whoever It May Concern,

OMFG, hi!! :) My name's Kairi Shizuka. I have a twin sister named Namine. She's like, the best! Seriously, I couldn't live life without her. :) She's even helping me with my relationship with the guy I like.

My best friend is Xion Maki. She's pretty crazy, but she's fun that way. :D She's obsessed with the song Hey There Delilah by the Plain White T's, and she totally hates Hannah Montana. She has a habit of stalking hot guys, so if she sees you, watch out! (Yes, I'm going with the assumption you're hot... I don't associate with ugly people, you see.)

Then why do you hang out with Sora?

HEY. HEY. XION. THAT'S NOT NICE.

Well, it's true. I don't stalk the guy; I should know.

You've stalked him before, you creep.

Ugh, don't remind me. Well, I'm off to write the rest of my letter. Ciao, babe! -heart-

... Freaking lesbian.

BITCH, YOU'RE THE LESBIAN.

I thought you were leaving?

I was, but then you called me a lesbian. If you call me it again, I'll kill you right then and there. I have a gun strapped to my thigh, bitch. Now, ciao.

...

Xion scares me sometimes...

I really don't want to find out if she has a gun or not...

Hm. She has a habit of cursing. Well, so do I, but I rarely ever write it. She writes it all the bloody time. She's weird like that.

Er...

I can't really think of anything to say anymore...

Oh, yeah! I could talk about my favorites.

My favorite song is Shake it by Metro Station. My favorite color is pink. My favorite color purse is red, to match my hair. :) My favorite hair color on a guy is brown, and my favorite eye color is blue.

... This has grown incredibly awkward and lame, so, um, bye.

Sincerely,
Kairi Shizuka

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sent

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Dear Whoever Receives This,

Hello. My name is Namine. I have a twin sister, Kairi. We're almost complete opposites. She is loud; I am quiet. She is an extrovert; I am an introvert. She is outgoing; I am shy. She loves going outdoors; I hate leaving the inside.

Oh my god, Nam, you're making yourself sound so emo!

Be a woman, and seduce him!

... Couldn't you have told me that aloud, instead of writing it so he can read it?

We're not speaking until you finish the letter.

Hey, boyyy! If you're blond, I might have stalked you before, so I'm pretty sure I'll know who you are if you tell me how to recognize you. Even if you're not blond, tell me! Reply to this letter as quickly as you can, sweetie!

I wouldn't blame him if he didn't reply at all.

He'd be freaked out by Xion, lol!

STFU, BITCH.

Sigh. Stop fighting, you guys. He'll read this and think we're total idiots, which I'm sure you don't want.

Okay, Xion's dragged Kairi away. It's safe. For now, anyway.

If you haven't caught on yet, yes, Xion is my friend. She is also quite possibly insane, but that's what what makes her herself. She stalks blond guys, who she claims are "bloody sexy," and once has even stalked a redhead. They're now friends, though, so he doesn't really mind. He goes to your school, but is a grade above yours; his name is Axel.

Ack!

I'm out of time now.

Sorry. I wish this was longer, but I couldn't really do anything.

Um, bye!

Yours Truly,
Namine Shizuka

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sent

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...! —

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where am i?

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who am i?

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what is this...?

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OBLIVION ACADEMY

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Dear Xion,

You're crazy, you know that? I guess that's okay, though.

Hi, my name's Roxas. Sora is my cousin. I could hook Kairi and him up, if you want.

Sorry this letter is so short, but I totally forgot about your letter until today, which is the day where you're supposed to bring it in so you can send it... I'm in Creative Writing right now. Next period is English, which is where I give this letter to the teacher.

The bell's going to ring in a few minutes.

I don't really have anything left to say (except to tell you sorry about my horrible handwriting right here; I'm rushing), but... I just want to let you know I enjoyed your last letter. It was hilarious.

Also, I'm blond.

When the sun shines we'll shine together,
Roxas Hikari

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sent

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Dear Kairi,

Well, aren't you a bundle of sunshine?

Hey, my name's Riku. Your friend mentioned Sora, right? Well, we're rivals in love, I guess you could say. We both have liked this girl for the longest time. She's finally starting to like boys, so we're fighting extra-hard so she'll notice that we're boyfriend material.

I think our schools are plotting something. I mean, you don't just whip out this idea of pen-pals out of your arse; you plan it out so no school-wars start. They're smart enough to do so, but why now? Why begin just this year?

Well, it's either that, or they're holding a drug trafficking program.

...

Yeah, I know. I'm crazy.

Just like your friend Xion, eh?

Yours,
Riku Hayashi

P.S.: Your friends seem cooler than mine...

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sent

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Dear Namine,

Your friends are quite something.

I'm sorry, allow me to introduce myself; my name is Zexion Fukui. I am stereotyped as "emo" because my bangs cover my right eye. (Is that recognizable enough for you, Xion?) Actually, I do know Axel. He's my friend Demyx's best friend. I think Xion would know Demyx.

I think I sort of know how you feel. Demyx and I are very different; I'm kind of like you, and he's like your sister. However, we have a lot of things in common, as well, like our reluctance to fight, our cowardice, and our appreciation of music. I'm learning to play the piano, and he plays the sitar. We make a pretty sweet duet.

Of course we do! We're awesome, after all!

Demyx, how many times do I have to tell you to stop writing on my papers?

Um... A lot? Don't be mad, Zexy! I had to give into the temptation!

Uh-huh, yeah, sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night.

Thanks, Zexy! -heart- Now, I g2g help Tidus on his English paper...

Tidus is getting help from you? Oh, god. I should help before you make the paper spontaneously combust.

That you should, Zexy, that you should.

Sigh.

Well, Namine, I'm afraid I must cut this conversation short. It was nice while it lasted, I suppose. Reply quickly.

Sincerely,
Zexion Fukui

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sent

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...! —

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who are you?

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what are you doing—?!

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STOP IT!

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restoration at 7 percent

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end intermission.

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BRM: I have a new story, yes. I like this one already; and I managed to make it long! :D There's a mysterious character, too. I wonder who it is...? -whistles innocently-

Roxas: You scare me.

Kairi: Hey! She made me half-way decent! -angryface- DON'T INSULT HER.

Roxas: ... Meep. -shrinks back-

Xion: Kairi, stop being a bitch! -supahangryface- You made Roxas sad! -huggles Roxas- It's okay, Roxy, the mean girl will die soon...

Roxas: X3

Kairi: WHAT?! -turns to BRM- I'm gonna die?! DDDD:

BRM: ... Nooooo, what gave you that idea? -looks away-

Kairi: YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME DIE! YOU BITCH!

BRM: BITCH DO YOU WANT TO MESS WITH ME?! -supahsupahangryface- I WILL KILL YOU, YOU WHORE, AND EVERYONE WILL LAUGH AT YOUR PATHETIC, MANGLED, BEHEADED FUCKING BODY.

Kairi: ...

Namine: BURRRRRRRRRN!

Kairi: ...?!

Namine: Yeah, I dunno either.

BRM: Anyway. Please review, everyone! :D I'd like to know your thoughts on this chapter.