Yaaay my first crackfic. Hehe, its supposed to be humorous…lets see how well I do that.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Although if I did I would sooo trade it for a lifetimes supply of junk food. Sorry Naruto, but you don't turn into food. Oh wait, the money from you could buy me my food aaaaand other stuff. never mind. I would be happy with owning Naruto!
"Itachiiiiiiii-kun, are we there yet?" I asked, cheerily. The fact that we were on our way to attack Orochimaru did not phase me at all.
Of course, the Uchiha didn't answer me. Well, if that's the way he's going to be I'll just talk more myself.
"Ne, Itachi-kun, if they somehow manage to capture the super special awesome bundle of awesomeness that is me, you'll save me right?" I asked, giving him the puppy dog look.
"Yaaaay! Now I have nothing to worry about!" and with that we traveled along to Orochimaru's hideout, never mind the fact it was the two of us against however many mules had there. We could take 'em!
-15 minutes later-
"So, Uchiha-kun, you have a choice. Save your precious partner (a.k.a. me) or escape?" Yes they had captured me. I don't know how, I was the picture of stealth, what with my skipping down the halls and singing of random evil children's songs/nursery rhymes. (London Bridge, Humpty Dumpty, Jack and Jill, Hansel and Gretel, The Baby on the Treetop, heck, even The Little Old Lady Who Lived In A Shoe. Where's her child support?!) The only thing that would have been stealthier was, oh, say, a bright orange jumpsuit, a beige jacket, maybe even a giant white wolf-dog. (A/N: It's so fun criticizing the characters' clothing choices)
"Itachi-kun, you promised you would save me! Here's your chance~" I sang happily, waiting for him to suddenly jump up and kill everyone but me and him, instead of what really happened. No, he just looked at me, turned around and started walking away. A huge vein popped out of my forehead.
"Hey, where do you think you're going! You idiot, get your butt back here and save me! Save me, dammit!" I shouted, all the while unconsciously beating up everyone within a 3 yard radius of me. Suddenly I snapped out of it, looked around and walked over to Itachi seeing as how anyone who managed to escape my wrath had fled. When I got to the darn Uchiha I pouted.
"Itachi-kun, you were supposed to save me and be my Dark Knight in Shining Armor," I whined out to him. He just glanced over at me and said one simple sentence.
"I'm a feminist."