Just Random Tomb Raider stories

Disclaimer : I don' own Lara, Kurtis or Winston

Chapter 1


"Ah, Mr Trent, but it is you who were fooled. I didn't roll a five, I rolled a six. That means I don't go down the snake and I get a second shot."

Kurtis mumbled something about 'old wankers' and 'too much free time', under his breath. He looked up as Lara entered the kitchen in her nighty. "What are you playing?" she asked as she sat down beside Kurtis.

"Snakes and ladders." Winston replied as he rolled the dice again. "Six!"

"And he's winning" Kurtis muttered. Snaking an arm around Lara's waist.

"He's eighty years old, I think he's had a lot more practise at this than you."

"Eighty! Sly dog told me he was sixty three!" Winston blushed.

"And you believed him! If he was in his early sixties do you think he would be a decripit-old-bastard who needs a zimmer frame to get in the house, a handle to get out the bath, a scooter to get around and one of those chair things that lifts you up the stairs!" Lara asked, shocked at how gullible Kurtis was.

"I don't know. He says somethin', I believe him 'cause he insists and I'm just confused."

Meanwhile, Winston was getting closer and closer to the end. "92,93,94. I'm getting closer, Mr Trent." A smile plastered his face.

"I'm off to bed. See you in a bit." she kissed Kurtis lightly on the lips and turned to leave the kitchen.

She turned back a second later. "Oh, I forgot my maga-" She was cut off mid-sentence and her eyes widened as Winston jumped out of his seat and motioned for Kurtis to 'get it up himself'.

"Up ye, Up ye, Get it right up ye!" He screamed. He had obviously reached the 100 point. Kurtis edged back in his chair, eyes widening in shock.

"Winston." Lara whispered in utter disbelief. Winston sat himself back down, his face becoming redder by the second. "Sorry, Ms Croft. I don't know what came over me"

"Winston. It's just snakes and ladders. A two year old could win at that. There's no need to get aggressive." Lara turned and headed out the kitchen to her bedroom.

She was lying in bed reading 'Closer' when Kurtis entered the room and hopped into their bed. He reached into the bedside table at his side of the bed and pulled out his own book. "Whatcha' reading?" he asked Lara as he sat next to her.

"Closer. This week their talking about : Coleen at last looking pregnant instead of fat, A five year old ASBO, Jordan at war with Peter and Charlotte church's new curves. But I'm currently reading an article about Victoria Beckham wanting to spend time alone with her husband." she looked over at Kurtis who was pretending to snoar. "Stop it!"

"Sorry. I'm just tired and that load of crap didn't help."

Lara placed her magazine down on her bedside cabinet, Kurtis mirroring her actions and turned off the bedside lamp. "Night." Lara said as Kurtis wrapped an arm around her, while she placed her head on his chest. "Night"


Lara awoke the next morning at the sound of VERY loud snoring. She rolled over in her bed, so she could face Kurtis and bolted up right with a scream.

"What's wrong Lara?" Kurtis woke up as soon as he heard her scream. She didn't need to answer him. Lying in between Lara and Kurtis, was Winston, sleeping happily under the covers with a teddy bear in his hands. "What the hell is he doing in here?!"

Lara suddenly leapt out of bed and sat down beside Kurtis. "Shh" Winston whispered.

"Winston!" Lara screamed

"Yes, mi'lady?"

"What the fuck are you doing in Kurtis' and I's bed?"

"I couldn't get to sleep. There were monsters in my wardrobe." he said turning to face them both. Lara was now in the covers behind Kurtis. It was only four o'clock in the morning.

"Winston, mate. Your a bit old to think that there's monsters in your closet, are you not?" Kurtis said yawning.

"But Mr Trent, mate. I couldn't get a wink of sleep and you and Lara looked so cosy..."

"So you thought you'd join us?!" Lara shouted, sitting up again. "Winston, go back to your room and leave us alone!"

With a sigh, Winston got out of there bed and opened and slammed the door behind him. Lara climbed back to her side of the bed and Kurtis held her close. She was on the verge of falling asleep when 'Paddy's revenge' by Steve Mac played, full volume downstairs. Groaning, Kurtis and Lara scrambled out of bed and dragged themselves downstairs.

"WINSTON! FOR FUCK'S SAKE. GO. TO. SLEEP!!!" Lara screamed over the music. Kurtis scanned the room for Winston and burst out in a fit of laughter when he saw him dancing, club style, with a woman not much older than him. "Oh, for god's sake." Lara sighed before walking over to the stereo and turning it off. "Winston. Firstly, I'm not going to say it again. Go. To. Bed. Not me and Kurtis' bed, your bed. And secondly. Who the fuck are you?" she said staring at the woman who clearly had to much to drink.

"I'm a fairy." she said while twirling down.

Kurtis walked towards her and forced her towards the front door. "Yes. A very pretty fairy as well. No get the hell outa our house!"

Lara and Kurtis turned back to Winston. "Winston. Are you on somethin'?" Kurtis asked.

"Skitles" he said while sniffing his fingers.

"Winston, you know the doctor said that they make you hyper. And that could possibly kill you at your age. Now good night."Lara turned and made her way up the stairs, Kurtis following. They were not long on bed when they heard a crash from downstairs. "WINSTON!!!" they both shouted in unison.

AN : Right, it's supposed to be funny, but i'm not very good at it. But I tried my hardest.