Disclaimer: None of it is mine. I just like to play with them.

Rating: Sexually un-stimulating.

A/N: It's a bit ridiculous, but whatever. Also, next chapter will be the last :(

Chapter Thirteen: The Very Public Display of Attention

Like most dinners, the Great Hall was immersed in conversations from gossip to homework between friends. The distractions were numerous, but the friends of both Draco and Harry focused on the budding relationship than whoever Lavender dated that week. The familiar scrutiny made it easier for Harry to ignore Hermione's insufferable looks. Annoyance quickly flooded Harry who simply wanted to devour his food in peace.

"The food isn't going anywhere, Harry. Slow down," Hermione ordered, her brow furrowed.

"I'm hungry," he replied through a mouthful of food.

Some of his mashed potatoes landed in Hermione's hair. While she picked the offending morsel out of her recently tamed mane, Harry continued to wolf down his meal. He even held his fork with a fist. Nearly twenty four hours had past since he ate, having spent most of the day in Draco's room. Glancing across the Hall, Harry found Draco bent over his plate, clearly as ravenous as he was.

"I didn't realize that Draco was such a talker, Harry. Clearly it's left you starved."

"Hermione, I don't like your tone," Ron interjected, looking mildly ill. "Drop the implication or I'll puke up this Shepherd's pie right now."

"Don't. It's good," Harry commented, his mouth still full of food.

"Did you two accomplish anything?"


"So you've settled everything?"

There was a tinge of happiness and hope in her voice that Harry felt endearing. He, however, could not resist a cheeky reply.

"We've settled that Draco is a top."

"Hermione, Harry, stop. I will vomit," Ron piped up. "No offense mate, but I can't bear the thought of you and…that ferret. It's unnatural and not because you're two guys or anything. I'm fine with that. Really. Have you forgotten that you're sworn enemies? Literally! Remember second year? You swore it. You can't revoke those kinds of things."

"I was twelve, Ron, and still a virgin."

"You still can't…you're not a virgin?"

Harry didn't have to look at Ron to see the bewilderment plastered across his face. Instead, he shook his head and took another forkful of broccoli.

"We agreed that whoever lost theirs first would tell the other all about it."

"Well, it just happened about an hour ago. You guys haven't given me much chance to talk," Harry said quietly.

Ron blanched and Hermione grinned madly as a blush tinged her cheeks. For the first time that evening, she sat quietly and ate her meal, leaving her two friends to themselves.

"Wait…" Ron paused and glanced across the Great Hall, his eyes resting on the finally on Draco, who still inhaled his meal. "You lost your virginity to Malfoy?"

A slight flush colored his cheeks. He took another bite to occupy himself as Ron tried to handle the information. It looked as if the process hurt his brain for his face contorted with the effort.

"And let me get this straight, you bottomed for Malfoy?"

"Ronald, I suggest you lower your voice so the whole castle doesn't hear you," Hermione hissed. "It is hardly anyone else's business."

"Like hell it is," Ron spat back, his temper starting to flare. He turned back to Harry and continued. "The only way to make sex with Malfoy at all redeeming is if you were to fuck him."

"I quite liked it," Harry murmured.

"That's even worse!" Ron exclaimed.

Hermione glanced around them, wondering who exactly was listening to the conversation as it unfolded. It would no doubt turn into one of Ron's regular blow-ups in which Dumbledore would have to intervene to quell the disturbance. Even though everyone enjoyed the entertainment, it was tiresome. Harry suffered enough without additional publicity.

"Zip it!" she ordered tersely, giving a pointed glance in the direction of the front of the Hall.

"I will not 'zip it,' Hermione! This is ridiculous! I just started to accept Harry and the ferret and now Harry hurls this at me? He may as well be shagging a Hufflepuff!"

That caught the attention of a few Hufflepuffs who were the table closest to Gryffindor's. The Hufflepuffs students rarely bothered with fights. Only so much slander could be taken. Every so often, their honor had to be defended. Consequently, they shot Ron glares before starting on him.

"And what's wrong with shagging a Hufflepuff?" piped up Justin Finch-Fletchley.

"Great," Harry muttered.

"You'd have better luck getting off with the Whomping Willow," Seamus chimed in.

And that was the beginning of the greatest dinner argument at Hogwarts Witchcraft and Wizardry. The two tables traded insults with one another, becoming more and more colorful. It didn't take long before Ravenclaw joined in after several jibes were directed at them. Slytherin sat back and watched with dark fascination as the students from the other Houses quarreled with one another. The older students mainly participated, given that the first years had little clue about what it was really like to shag a Hufflepuff.

The noise ascended as more students jumped in. Rolling his eyes, Harry slumped his shoulders, making himself as small as possible. He wanted no association with any of this.

Hermione dreaded Dumbledore's intervention, but when she looked to the long table where the teachers sat, it appeared empty. Frowning, she glanced about the Hall, wondering where they could have gone. In the far corner of the Hall, behind the teachers' table, Hermione caught the tail end of a cloak disappearing through a door that she remembered seeing Mad-Eye Moody use in fourth year. The professors had abandoned the students and rightfully so. It was time they dealt with their problems amongst themselves.

"Stop arguing. This is ridiculous," commanded Hermione, grabbing Ron by his upper arm and dragging him from the table.

"I'm not finished yet!"

"Look what you've started."

They stood watching the Houses verbally attack one another and it was only a miracle that physical violence had not started. With the sudden inclusion of Slytherin, however, it appeared that such a threat was imminent.

"We've got to stop this. The professors left us."

"I'm not stopping a good argument like this."

"Harry, you need to help us!"

During this time, Harry had chosen to stay completely silent as he finished his meal. There was no need for him to take any part in the conversations around him since he couldn't really talk without being hypocritical. If being a bottom for Malfoy was almost worse than shagging a Hufflepuff, than Harry could not argue with that. He had achieved the worst apparently, according to Ron.

"I'm not doing anything of the sort."

"But Harry, look at everyone! This is getting out of hand. Even Ravenclaws are fighting with Hufflepuffs! This is threatening inter-House unity! Think of the ghastly repercussions of this!"

To say that Hermione was hysterical would have likely been an understatement. There were too many conflicting emotions marring her face for Ron to count and he had indeed stopped at six because there were several he could not name.

"What do you expect me to do?"

"Oy!" Ron shouted.

The clamor seemed to increase with Ron's shouts, which escalated further when a Slytherin shoved a Ravenclaw. His attempt at getting everyone's attention was utterly futile.

"Harry, you can get everyone's attention," persuaded Hermione. "They'll listen to you."

Before Harry could do anything about it, Ron and Hermione were pulling him out of his seat and pushing him to the dais where Dumbledore frequently stood. He past the length of the Gryffindor table and on his way saw Luna being attacked by Hannah Abbott, Neville hiding underneath the table with his wand out, and Colin Creevey snapping photos of the event. Harry shook his head in disbelief and walked on his own, knowing that someone had to do something.

Standing on the dais, Harry witnessed the entirety of the chaos. No one was sitting, save for the first years and Neville who hid underneath the tables. Several students had attempted to flee and discovered that the doors to the Hall were sealed. No doubt Dumbledore's doing. Hermione attempted to prevent Ron from going at Justin Finch-Fletchley and would have got an eyeful of the Hufflepuff's fist had Ron not punched him in the gut.

No one seemed to notice where Harry stood except for Draco who was half of the way to the Gryffindor table, searching for Harry. Upon seeing his boyfriend looking helpless at the crowd, Draco changed directions, pushing past several students, who in turn tried to fight him. Finally, Draco made it to the dais and sighed with relief.

"Weasley's an idiot," Draco announced, standing with his shoulder brushing against Harry's as he surveyed the Hall.

"He was only upset that I bottomed for Draco Malfoy, which is apparently almost as bad as shagging a Hufflepuff."

"I don't think anything is almost worse than shagging a Hufflepuff," joked Draco.

"You would know," Harry replied teasingly, though he was somewhat curious to know the answer.

"Terribly boring lot, really," Draco responded vaguely, casting a side glance at his boyfriend.

Harry turned to look at him with raised eyebrows and his disappointment poorly masked.

"I'm only kidding, Harry. I would never fuck a Hufflepuff."

Silence past between them despite the uproar of the Hall where students ceaselessly fought and squabbled about various things. More students surrounded the doors, terrified that they could not escape. The scene was all too ridiculous to imagine, but Ron had somehow managed to strike a very sensitive cord that most of the students of Hogwarts could relate to in some fashion.

"So what are we going to do about this?" Harry wondered.

"How about we promote that inter-House unity nonsense McGonagall was going on about a while ago?"

"And how do we do that?"

Draco grabbed Harry's hand – pulled him in so their bodies collided. Harry's green eyes were wild with anticipation and anxiety. Harry's eyes fluttered shut when Draco's soft, plump lips caressed his mouth open. The muscles of Harry's body relaxed against Draco, who wrapped his arm around Harry's waist to keep him standing. Cupping the side of Harry's face, Draco took the kiss deeper, exploring Harry's mouth with his tongue.

The effect was almost immediate. Pockets of silence spread throughout the room as students took notice of the display at the head of the tables. Draco sensed the fear that shot through Harry and gripped him tight. They were doing this. Harry couldn't run this time.